05-2024 Writer's Commentary

JAMES, Director: Welcome to the writer's commentary for… May? Is it May already? This sucks. I just finished watching Dawn of The Planet of the Apes. I didn’t see the first one. I didn’t know that was where APE STRONG TOGETHER came from. I had been saying it completely independently of this movie franchise.

JAMES: I’ve come back to this document having now watched all of the planet of the apes movies. The second one was the best one. I wonder if the same could be said for… other media? :3c

MILES, sore from the gym: Dark Souls 2.  And of course…

FLORAL, the devil: Kung Fu Panda 2 : )

Wait, OH FU-

JAMES: I forgot we got a real genuine “Dark Souls 2 is the best one” guy over here but I don’t hate it.

(pt 1.)

JAMES: For a long time I thought Metal Gear and Metal Slug were the same thing. I love Metal Slug. I am actually kind of so-so on Metal Gear which around here is like saying you don’t enjoy happiness or laughter. 

MILES: Okay, I know that I was implying that MGS2 is the best Metal Gear with that last gag, and it probably is Objectively, but my favorite is MGS4.  I feel like it's important for me to be true to myself here.  I’m being so real with you right now, and it’s endearing you to me.  I know it is.  Please?

JAMES: …

MILES: Anyway, I know that there was already a pretty heavy aura of MGS floating around Commander Karkat, but the opportunity to Big Bossify him even further was something that we were like... fundamentally unable to let slip by.  He’s got so much grizzled sexy war shit going on.  Heavy, HEAVY emphasis on the sexy: I’ve always been a believer in the potential of Buffkat, myself, and Commander Karkat is the culmination of all my dreams, brought to life by Andi’s immaculate draftsmanship.  Look at his arms.  Look at his fucking TITS!!!!!

JAMES: wow!

FLORAL: yipee!

MILES: Sorry.  I mean, I’m not, at all, but I’ll throw a perfunctory apology out there to get us back on track.  It’s just that Karkat is so damn large and in charge now; it’s no wonder Meenah had to snap that up for herself.

MILES: And snap she did... I had a lot of fun writing the banter between Karkat and Meenah for this update.  I think that after having been through 15 years of the ups and downs of war they’ve kind of seen everything about each other, which lends itself really well to the sort of easy ribbing the two of them get up to in the first half of this conversation.  Karkat’s matured into his role pretty admirably, and although Meenah is pretty similar to the Meenah we’ve always known, I like to think that the two of them share a sort of sharp domesticity that really really works for each of them.  They’re both able to oscillate between straight-man and goofball in effortless harmony... 

FLORAL: They have this great sense of comfortability and in particular I loved how open and affirming Meenah is in her attraction to Karkat, without being overbearing. I’m sure it’s a welcomed change from Karkat’s past relationships… 😏

For what was the audience’s first real look into their dynamic, I’m glad Miles volunteered to take the reigns.

MILES: I just think they’re cute together.  As this update came together, I got fully sold on Candy!MeenKat.  More on this later, but I’m glad they got together.  Candy Karkat deserves a loving partner, too!

JAMES: I think we’ve mentioned this before but the LOBsTERs is a sort of inside joke. Someone said it to me once and I had no idea it was from something. I thought the guy saying it to me was just piecing together random words and I was like yeah man. Send them in, I guess. nervous whispering “check out this freak..” Anyway it became a sort of beloved phrase that I would just occasionally say with no attachments to the source. Everyone else knew!

FLORAL: The first time James mentioned the LOBSTERS I almost fell over. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard the call…

MILES: I love this stupid fucking joke so much.  I’m not even sure if half of our current readership ever watched the Amanda Show, but sometimes you have to kind of just do stuff for yourself.  

JAMES: I was more of an iCarly guy.

MILES: Also, very weird and nitpicky clarification; the LOBsTERs aren’t just the guys in the armored truck with Karkat and Meenah, it’s sort of a catchall term for units of the top-level Rebellion operatives.  So really, there are probably hundreds of LOBsTERs getting sent in.  These are just the best of the best.

JAMES: OK. This is sort of a mixture of VisDev and writing, but I’ll talk about it here. Early on I made a point of insisting that Karkat uses crab-based spy devices. Originally this was so we could explain how he was listening in on the Jane briefing. There was sort of an elaborate explanation to “how does Karkat know this information” ranging from him being in the room with Meenah, to him listening in at a different terminal. There were also the aforementioned crab devices. 

(from Jake: Eavesdrop update, this is being broadcast from a spycrab drone.)

JAMES: The official explanation is that there are just little spycrab drones all over the place. It just kind of spiraled. It was originally proposed that we show them, but one of the big things we have to deal with is panel bloat. That is to say, making the artists draw too much. A big part of this project is managing artist and writer’s appetites vs how many pages we can reasonably ask them to draw during the time we have allotted them to draw. It will always go over. That's the nature of creative projects, they will take longer than you think is too long. I think I have said the words “be less precious about it” more than anything else.

Anyway, Spycrabs. Crabtech. I don’t know why that's so funny to me. Karkat has never seen a real crab. Imagine you were a spy and all your spy gear was based off of a sort of silly version of your dad. “Hold on. I gotta take this. It's a call from HQ” and then you hold your wrist up to your mouth and talk into a watch shaped like a cartoon version of your father. “Go ahead HQ, you’re Loud And Clear on the CHIBI-JIM.”

MILES: Here we have another example of the functionality of Karkat and Meenah’s relationship.  This conversation was fun because we get to see Meenah play a more supportive and nurturing role, which I don’t think she’s ever done on screen before?  But that’s what happens when you spend 15 years with someone trying to save the world... it’s touching.  She learns, as does everyone who cares about him, when Karkat really really needs to calm down and recenter, and she knows, as does everyone who cares about him, that sometimes the way he needs to do that is by ranting for a while. 

MILES: I know that Meenah brought it up in a sort of indelicate way, but I wanted to make it clear that despite their mutual security in their relationship, Meenah knows Karkat well enough to know that the news of Dave’s supposed-death is something he’d need to talk about a little more with someone more liable to listen than John.  Sometimes supporting your partner means letting him rant about his shitty ex who failed him in every possible way who just died.  Somewhere on the ship, Davebot’s programming is running sneeze protocols.  But she was right, I think Karkat needed to get that out.

JAMES: I originally proposed that we do this update juxtaposing two relationships. On one hand we have Meenah and Karkat, who really get each other. They are good for each other. They talk about their problems. They communicate. They do this and still manage to get things done. I wanted to also lampoon this idea that all of these characters so far are just kind of stopping and having really self important conversations in public. Just airing out all their feelings in the middle of the park. I know we gotta tyrant on the loose but do you think we could take five minutes to stop and talk about how I feel bad?

Karkat and Meenah manage to communicate, get things done AND still find the time to get Sollux his Arby’s.

MILES: This was just fun.  I think it’s great that while Karkat has spent the past 15 years becoming a sexy Che Guavara revolutionary, Sollux has been sitting in a room playing video games and ordering delivery, and despite all that and the fact that they probably almost never see each other in person, they’re still in contact semi-regularly.  Bros 4 lyfe.

MILES: Karkat and Sollux getting into a big fat screaming match and reconciling at the end will never die.

JAMES: By the way, Incredible job with “Gruber Eats.” A nod, of course, to the bad guy from the movie Die Hard, Hans Gruber. No. Just kidding. We had talked about how “GRUBHUB” is already real, but nuts to that. They can Pay Us if they want us to put them in. Hey if you want $20 off your first two orders on Uber Eats use code eats-uberjamesroachue. I hope at least one of you does this so I can get a free digital gift card. This is not a bit I absolutely will use it to get a Big Gulp and a gas station hot dog delivered to my front door.

MILES: You already did this, so I’m not gonna blow up your spot and plug my own shit, but dude... I should have thought of this earlier.  In one of the next couple commentaries I need to find a way to get promo deals on shit.  Keep an eye out for that, loyal fans...!

(pt 2)

FLORAL: OH BOY! I’m glad everyone had a good time with Commander Vantas and his lovely healthy romantic relationship between equals. Naturally the follow up to that had to be Jake and Jane.

To be honest I’m having a hard time picking and choosing what to talk about. This was an update I was personally sweating bullets over for what is probably super obvious reasons. It had to be perfect, and the team really came together to sell the fuck out of it. Special shout out to Miles specifically, for elevating Jake’s lingo game and further fleshing out BGD’s and “Gamzee’s” voice. His editing single handedly stopped me from continually freaking out about this whole exchange.

MILES: Floral is going to sit here and try to pretend that they aren’t a mad genius by foisting credit onto us, but I’m spiking that shit back like a volleyball.  All we did here was edit for flavor, there was nothing else to change.  I laughed so hard the first time I read this conversation.

JAMES: Re-establishing that Jane’s forces are all just clones. Her whole army. Clones. Of who? Who can say. Probably me I guess. Anyway, Wow! An Imperial force, setting out to quell a rebellious separatist force? you might say its a real

Att

Attack of

Attack of th

JAMES: You know it's actually insane how we’re getting this sort of revisionist history about the Star Wars prequels not being total dogshit. 

MILES: I could go on and on about how the prequels, while horrible movies, actually lend credence and depth to the entirety of the Star Wars universe, but this isn’t the forum for that.

JAMES: I wish it was.

FLORAL: Jake has a little bit of Jar Jar Binks in him. Some could say, narratively speaking, they have similar functions and audience reception. Thank god Jake does not look like Jar Jar Binks or else no one would care about the yaoi.

FLORAL: I love this whole set up, it’s very dear to me, this image of solemn soldiers forced to lap up water. Like animals!!!!! My rule is, if something makes me smile or laugh as I write it, than it goes into the first draft. And it stays as long as it keeps making me laugh. 

MILES: They’re true patriots.

FLORAL: I salute them, the poor bastards.

JAMES: The water not being poisoned as one of Jane’s selling points for proper treatment is a good joke. She really believes that it's a good thing.

FLORAL: Now, moving on to the most important part of the update. Leprechauns on the moon. What’s it like up there? How did they get their engineering degrees? Who fucking knows.

JAMES: A bunch of questions about “are the snaps canon now?” and I think it's always interesting to get into “canon” talks, you know me. I love. To talk about. Meta. (I do not)

JAMES: I think people get a little too into the idea of something being canon or not. For the sake of the narrative about canon being part of the story, “Dubiously Canon” works but also just functionally, this is what's happening on screen. This is canon because it happens and you see it. Yes. The Point Is That Ultimately The Reader Decides What Is Meaningful To Them. Yes It Is A Commentary About Narrative Structure. Yes. I Get It but also like lighten up man its fine.

FLORAL: Anyways, I hope everyone liked the laser twist! There’s a very VERY subtle hint we put into Update 3 about it.

FLORAL: Contingency plans, man.

FLORAL: Fun fact, this whole sequence was inspired by my roommate! Not the child endangerment part but she has a deadly peanut allergy too and has been doing oral immunotherapy to cure it. I saw her go from eating one gram of peanut to 5 WHOLE peanuts.

For years, multiple times a week, I have watched her eat these peanuts, and keep her heart rate regulated for a whole hour hoping she doesn’t die.

Anyways she’s still alive and so is Tavvy! And it was a lot of fun writing Gamzee just doing this whole process in the worst way imaginable. Bro is NOT a doctor and said “JeSuS tAkE tHe WhEeL.”

ANDI: Floral this is a crazy as hell story, LMFAOOO I am glad both she, and our Tavvy continue to see the light of day.

JAMES: I used to have a roommate that was an aspiring voice actor and he would do voices all the time and I hated it. Unfortunately it made a cute girl politely chuckle exactly one time and he never ever stopped doing it. I get it. Chasing the high of making a beautiful woman laugh is one of life's most noble pursuits.

FLORAL: “PeAnUt BuTtEr JeLlY tImE :o)” I looooooove Gamzee, the way he talks makes me feel inhuman. 

MILES: Getting to write little snippets of Gamzee dialogue makes us all feel alive.  Even from beyond the veil of death, his wisdom rings true... 

JAMES: this one was for all those PUT GAMZEE BACK INTO THE COMIC mfers out there. It wasn’t but we can pretend it was.

MILES: Anyway, it’s awesome that Tavvy basically grew up in the single worst household in the entirety of the Homestuck canon, which is saying A LOT.  There probably weren’t any real ramifications.  

FLORAL: Oh, for sure not. 

: )

JAMES:        : )

FLORAL: ANYWAYS speaking about Tavvy’s awful life, I was really happy with how 2/3rds the people responsible for it shaped up this update. Going into it, there were some pre-established scenes I wanted to touch on to hammer out continuity. 

FLORAL: I actively sought out to make a point about this line, considering its been in contention since it was posted for contradicting the Epilogues. I love this line, I love it because I always read it as Jake’s assumption of the situation. I touched on this in Update 6, but I love unreliable narrators and I love exploring how characters interpret limited information.

Recognizing these inconsistencies always had the potential to make an interesting point about how both characters saw the relationship and each other. 

I’m not going to pretend its a perfect one to one synch up, we are different teams after all, but it was satisfying to finally tie these two ends together.

I was also interested in Jane’s last scene in the prior HS^2.

FLORAL: Jane looks a lot less confident and a little bit sorry in the panel following this line, and that hint of doubt was enough to guide the story to what we see in this scene. I think it’s very human that minor details of situations sink into us and leave these kind of world shaking impressions the longer we sit with them. 

FLORAL: If the same scene had played out, but with Jane and her dad, I think she would have called out to him.

FLORAL: I love this part, mostly because it stays very true to Jake’s character. No one is going to give Jake the perfect answer here! He has to choose what to believe in, and that’s dependent on the information he holds already. Not informed by philosophy or therapy speak but what is personally important to Jake. And that’s fucking movies.

I also believe that Jake still considers himself liking “Dinner with Andre” despite falling asleep.

FLORAL: Again I am having a really hard time saying anything about the deeper parts of this update. There was so MUCH that needed to be accomplished, narratively speaking, that trying to summarize it neatly in a couple sentences is making me draw a blank. There was so much love and excitement put into it, since the moment we sat in call and agreed to BGD’s eye reveal. (If you haven’t already, please go look at the Artist Commentary right now and see the process and work Andi put into that moment, those visuals are everything to this update.)

Mostly, I hope people saw the humanity of the characters shine through. They were all childhood best friends and even though they have hurt each other in truly awful ways, that history is fundamental. It’s painful! It offers no simple solutions. But it matters. 

JAMES: COMMENTARY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!