Silent Hill 2 Ending and "An Update"
Added 2024-10-06 18:23:41 +0000 UTCAnd that’s the end of Silent Hill 2, I think it may have broken me hahaha. What gorgeous voice acting and story telling. Thank you for recommending this game to me. I'd love to hear about theories or parts of the story I misinterpreted or may have missed? Please feel free to share below!
The plan is to play 3 and 4 but I think I need a little bit of a break.
The next section of this post is A LOT, maybe read it after a long break after the video lol, its an update and not an extensive review of Silent Hill 2 or anything.
I don't know how much is healthy to share but there are a couple of things on my mind.
I had a bit of a bad time publishing part 1 of Silent Hill 1. It was a reaction to skipping the cutscene before the title screen, the likes of which I could not find on any other channel covering the game on YouTube lol (I say lol but I am gutted as to why I had such a different reaction), followed by the worst watch times and stats on videos… ever. If you saw the comment section of that video, I apologise, I am ashamed that I did not remove some of those comments sooner.
I've got really in my head about it which I know is silly but I can't help it. I loved the game and editing those parts so much and I found that I didn't have that same enthusiasm for editing Silent Hill 2, which I feel bad about now. I want to play something different to just reset. I don't want this to read like I am a victim of anything terrible, I know these things do not matter really in the long run, but I am only human and sensitive at that!
Thanks for the support through everything this year. Having a solid space here has helped me to make content so much, I think that I would have closed the Channel a long time ago without it. There has been such a negative feedback loop on the public youtube community all year and it's been very disheartening and confusing! I need to work out what I want to do going forward, but I want to reiterate that I am so grateful and thankful and lucky to have this space. I have made videos far longer than I ever thought I would have because of you!
There's upcoming life changes for me which may result in me no longer having space nor the privacy to make content like this going forward. Long story short I cannot afford to live where I currently do any longer and I'm heartbroken about it. I don’t want people to feel like they need to donate any more or anything, this Patreon has helped me stay here far longer than I would have done without it - I am so so grateful for how much your contribution and these videos have helped my life. I've met the most amazing people through them and I just want to reiterate how thankful I am. I have signed up to do my first sponsorship in a very long time, I wanted to give you all the heads up on that. I may need to start trying to aim for a regular sponsor every once in a while. People have very strong opinions on this, I know, all I can say is please don't judge me, I am trying to live and continue with videos!
But on top of that, I am really struggling to find joy in publicly posting videos to YouTube lately. I am leaning more heavily towards the decision to slowly detach myself from it all. I am still trying my best, I am excited to play the games on my to-do list. But, things may take a turn for the worst and I may need to divert the energy I spend on videos into a new life path for me to better be able to support myself. I've done this for a really long time, and a lot in my life has fallen by the wayside. I am considering returning to school to study something new. I am considering a career change, etc. I have a couple of months to work things out so I am going to try to play as much of the to-do list as possible!
It's a bit of a sad post, I am very nervous and embarrassed to talk about it… feeling like a bit of a failure all round but I felt it was important to share where my head is at and so things that may happen don't come as a surprise later down the line. I also really appreciate it when I see other people share when they're vulnerable and find that I feel far less alone when they do. Anyway, final thoughts: loved silent hill 1 & 2, so I shall return!
Comments
I'm so sorry you've been having a hard time. First of all, let me say that you are not a failure. You make these great, insightful and entertaining videos but also beyond that you try and you keep on going in life. And that's strength. You might experience failure, but you aren't one. There's a world of difference. If you don't find joy in posting publically, maybe doing something for a smaller, more selective audience, like just patreon, might be a nicer experience? Public YouTube can be very cruel. I don't know how things work or if that is feasible, but it might be an option if it is. And about maybe needing to reallocate energy away from making videos, if you need to do so, then absolutely do so. It's hard but important to keep things in life in balance (something I personally struggle with). Prioritise what is necessary and what makes you the happiest or will give you the ability to be the happiest. Sometimes some things just have to fall by the wayside -- because we can't do everything -- but you get to choose which things. I really hope things take an upturn soon. I wish you the best. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself because you deserve kindness and care. P.S. I really enjoyed your SH playthroughs (and I enjoy your playthroughs in general)
LoZander
2024-11-25 03:52:58 +0000 UTCI am quite late to this post. I take a bit of time to get around to watching let's plays cause work is crazy and I like to pay attention to your content, not just have it on in the background. First, I hope I can add to these other very kind and supporting comments. You are an incredible creator and insightful person to watch. I am sorry things are getting more stressful and uncertain. I'm sure all of us can say we support life changes and career changes but I know how hard and terrifying those choices and changes can be. One thing I am certain with is that you are not failing at this or at anything else you want to do with your life. Life itself is SO SO hard without being a public creator to thousands. Youtube exposes creators to so many deeply insecure and hurtful people. Our brains are wired to hold onto negative feedback for survival. This group of people here on Patreon know how much you have put into this channel and love you for you. As someone that has been a Patron for a while, I want to support you in all that you do. Whatever you need to do (sponsorships, ads, taking mental breaks, turning off comments, stepping away from games), please do it for you. As someone that has fought and clawed for my mental health this year, you deserve whatever helps you feel better and more yourself. Wishing you the best in hard times! <3
VacationWolf
2024-11-14 22:08:53 +0000 UTCEDIT: Oh jeez I've written way too much to expect anyone to read but also too much for me to delete so I'm just sending it. Apologies for the way too long tangent about my feelings on camp art... I thought the spooky outfits and costumes were a great piece of serendipity, if I'm honest! I'm a huge fan of camp media, specifically in the High Camp, Susan Sontag sort of way, and I've always thought the first three Silent Hill games are really effective camp horror. There's an earnestness in camp media that, even when the art fails to execute its intention technically or aesthetically, the art evokes an emotion even more intensely than if the execution succeeded. The best way I can describe it would be like watching a talented singer sing a very sad song, compared to a an amateur singer fail to sing because they are too sad to perform well. Both evoke sadness, but sometimes earnest failure, or not even failure, merely not quite hitting the mark, can be more revealing & humanizing & real when it comes to artistic catharsis. This isn't to say I find Silent Hill 2 a failure at all, just that it's one of those works where its warts and failures and odd artistic decisions somehow only heighten its emotive qualities. I would literally not change a thing about it (yes, not even the 10-can of lightbulbs puzzle...). The ending of the first Silent Hill really captures the camp feeling for me so well, because the pacing feels so comedic, like you observed, but the framing and aesthetics is so classic horror that the juxtaposition becomes so engaging and affective and enjoyable in a de-familiarizing sort of way. Camp is so hard to pin down for me without falling back to obscenity "I know it when I see it" definition, but I'd say the early Silent Hill series hits perfectly for me. Somehow, every stilted dialogue delivery or overwrought piece of writing only makes the themes and ideas affect me so much more viscerally. As a point of comparison, The Last of Us series is exceptionally written and performed, and has translated incredibly well to TV because of that, but playing Silent Hill 2 rocked me at a more core, human level because I think it swings so high and makes choices that are probably less well conceived but are so fully earnest, and a lot of the charm is having to drag this weird alien of a man named James with clunky tank controls through an absolute psycho-sexual nightmare and somehow all these off kilter pieces come together to rip my fucking heart out by the end. That's all too many words to say that I think the costumes actually worked in the video (and the game's) favor! The audience got to see you have fun, show off your talents with make up and your love of themed outfits for your videos, and in a way, you revealed what sort of experience you were expecting to have with Silent Hill 2 going in. Then the actual narrative dismantled that initial expectation. I think that shift actually speaks true to what the average player would have felt buying this game, especially as an older child or teen, going in expecting a Resident Evil style horror game but getting this incredibly evocative, psychologically devastating narrative instead. I don't think the costuming was distasteful or disrespectful to the heavier subject matter at all! It felt to me like it heightened the drama of the heavy subject matter by juxtaposing it against the expectations set by the outfits, and paradoxically, I think it made your reactions seem more genuine, more vulnerable, and more relatable to the audience because of that. I'm not trying to read too much into your true experiences or emotions, of course! I'm just looking at the videos as a kind of performance art, and I think that the costuming only improved my experience as an audience member, and as someone who loves the game. To be honest, I've not been having a super time myself lately. I'm currently on the carousel of psychoactive drugs as my therapy team tries to get me medication that helps, and it's been pretty disheartening an experience, and when I get anxious, I just end up talking and texting too much, and when I get depressed, I don't say anything even when I know I should. I found your videos after your first Bloodborne video, and watching you interact with and enjoy games brings joy to me. I find the attitude you bring and the enthusiasm you have for such a broad category of media to be so refreshing and engaging and helps calm my mind when I feel it beginning to spiral. So just want to say thank you for that. It's been a genuine recourse for me. All that being said, I know how scary money and housing insecurity can be from personal experience. I'm also thinking about going back to school (though mostly to delay having to pay back student loans...). My professional life has felt like a lot of three steps forward, two steps back pretty much since COVID began. I've had to cut back from so many areas of my life that once brought me joy that began to feel perfunctory or like a chore. Just today, I realized I lost the callouses on my fingertips going so long without playing guitar regularly. I haven't submitted any of my writing for publication in three years now. It'd been a hard few years. But hey, I'm back in therapy after years of feeling like it was hopeless to try. I've made doctors appointments I've been putting off for years. I went to a cafe today and got more writing done in one sitting than I've done in months. Sometimes we need to re-prioritize, and you only owe the world whatever craft or art or media you want to share. I can't give any advice because I feel like my life constantly teeters on the edge of falling apart, but I can commiserate and say you're not alone, and that you've got a stranger's hope that you find comfort, for what ever that may be worth.
a smith
2024-10-08 03:05:07 +0000 UTCKeep making the content you want to make Amber and try to zone out the negative comments. Easier said than done I know. In terms of the financial situation, it's extremely sad to hear you can't afford to live in your current home but typical of the current world. You may be better off moving to streaming as a primary outlet? I'm IRL friends with a decently big streamer who used to focus primarily on YouTube. But by her account, the money just isn't there any more. She streams and chops the vods into YouTube videos using the chat "/marker" function at appropriate stopping points on twitch. She makes much more revenue doing this and doesn't have to edit. Obviously it depends how comfortable you are being in front of a chat for actual let's plays.
Andy
2024-10-07 17:39:28 +0000 UTCI think everyone has said it all, we'll support you whatever decision you make. I truly believe everything will work itself out and you'll be amazing in whatever you apply yourself too, big hugs.
Deuvient
2024-10-07 14:14:10 +0000 UTCHi Amber! You are wonderful! It's so sad to hear how hard things have been. I've been having a tough time (with work, with being overwhelmed) this year and watching your videos has become this soothing ritual for me, first thing in the morning. We live in crazy times and so many people are struggling; it feels like failure & shame are just sloshing around and we're all getting continuously hit by them. I really hope you find a way to move away from those feelings, whatever that way is. It's awful the way Youtube stats and algorithms come down like a judgement on what you make. There's all manner of reasons why people might not be watching, or not watching straight away. It takes me time to make it to certain videos; I'm not huge into horror but I still end up finding some way to keep watching things you make, because they're wonderful.
Maria-Anna
2024-10-07 07:01:28 +0000 UTCI hope whatever you decide to do everything works out. Sending you lots of good luck!! I cherish so many series you've done on the channel. Thank you for your hard work and looking forward to your next videos!
Holly Berry
2024-10-07 04:13:44 +0000 UTCMaybe make some playthroughs of other games? It seems like the games people want everyone to play garner the most toxic types of people. Smaller games, different forms of content that you find enjoyable. Step outside the box of "I must do XYZ content because its popular and in right now" and do stuff you like, I'm sure there are plenty of other games you have had an eye on, maybe mix in some trying new games videos. Check out WIldermyth sometime I feel like it would be right up your alley, and doesn't come with the same burden of pleasing the "mainstream" audience. Secondly, I think focusing and looking at analytics will just destroy your desire to make videos. I've seen it time and time again, people will have fun making stuff, then release a somber video saying how they will be just doing some boring generic content now because views and engagement are "low" on their more unique content, just to chase numbers and trends. I urge you to not care so much about that, and let that stress fall into the background. Be yourself and let people who enjoy you come to you. Popularity < Retention of a good community.
Jack Mingle
2024-10-07 03:57:53 +0000 UTCsame kind of people who try making people not play ds2 or other stuff like that. The people they are watching must play exactly like they did, otherwise they will hate. This is why they spoil and always try to imply future events to get the LPer to be goaded down the path the person watching desires.
Jack Mingle
2024-10-07 03:49:20 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing your passion and creativity! Change can be hard and uncomfortable and sometimes sad, especially when we don't ask for it. But new and wonderful experiences and opportunities are also brought about by change. I hope the latter for you. Blessed be!
Copper Cricket
2024-10-07 02:14:56 +0000 UTCI'm sad to hear that you are going through a rough time, but I'm grateful you decided to share your thoughts. There's a lot to relate to in your post and in the heartfelt comments here. I can understand those feelings of failure and shame. I think you said it well in your Last of Us 2 playthrough while contemplating Abby's guilt: "people are messy." We're all just flawed humans, learning as we go. I don't think any one of us would be interested in watching someone who is unflawed. You're not a failure though...just want to be clear on that. I always hope most insensitive YouTube comments come from a place of ignorance and not malice. It sucks when people are deliberately negative, and I hate to see people being shitty toward a creator's hard work in the comments. Hard to say what those bullies are feeling insecure about. Sorry you've had to deal with that noise. Your sensitivity may bring you down sometimes, but it's also a creative superpower that the bullies do not possess. I rarely feel comfortable commenting on anything, anywhere. I'm private to a fault, I guess. But, I comment here, and I've commented on some of your YouTube videos. I think it's because you've attracted such a thoughtful and welcoming (and funny) community....so I feel okay saying things. It's a reflection of what you are putting out there. Your let's plays have helped me stay connected to games, with my free time being in limited supply these days. Thank you! I'm happy to have discovered this channel, and happy to continue supporting it. Definitely no judgement here in regards to sponsorships. Your authenticity will still shine through. Changing course can be a very good thing. New challenges. New people. New scenery. I say this to myself as I say it to you (I'm also considering a career change). I'm not qualified to give advice, but I sincerely hope things work out for the best. **Beaming extra-strength vibes of wellness and happiness your way.**
Grant Gringle
2024-10-07 02:04:55 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry to hear about the rough time you're having at the moment. We've known this channel would never last forever, you've been very open about that in the past. If that time does come soon, then I'm going to miss you and your videos, and the awesome little community that comes with it. It really is a shining light of warmth and positivity and helped me immensely through some very tough times . Having said that, you are absolutely right to think about yourself and this should never come at the cost of your health or future. Whatever happens, I hope you look back at this period of your life with nothing but pride. You've accomplished so much in the time we've been lucky enough to share with you. An end to that wouldn't be a failure, sometimes life deals us a crap hand and we have to make the best of it. I've no doubt that whatever path life takes you down, you'll make a success of it. We're rooting for you no matter what!
mattbrush3pwood
2024-10-06 22:26:06 +0000 UTCI'm so so sorry about those comments on the first game, those kind of people suck so goddamn much. I didn't see the particular comments myself, but I completely understand why you'd have an emotional reaction to it. People making negative comments about something you worked hard on and loved is an awful feeling! Regardless, you did an excellent job on both the first game and this one editing wise, and I think the shorter episodes worked really well. 💜 I'm really sorry to hear that you might have to move as well, I really wish there was something more we could do to help! I guess at the end of the day, you do kind of end up at the mercy of the algorithm as well. When it comes to taking on sponsorships, I say get that bag. You gotta make money somehow. People who complain about it most likely don't understand the amount of grinding one has to do as a content creator online. I really hope that you feel better about playing games and creating videos soon, but if you don't, please care for your own well-being more than our entertainment. Especially those of us who support you here on Patreon I would wager care about you as a person as well as a source of entertainment and want to see you do well. Being somewhat familiar with the games industry myself as well, and knowing that you've worked as a 3D artist for games, I completely understand thinking about continuing your studies and potentially changing your career as well. That shit is not for the faint of heart. Anyway, thank you for this post and for the video. Sending you all the good vibes and love, I hope you feel better about things soon and stuff turns around a bit in general. 💜 When you do get around to returning to Silent Hill, I'm excited to see what you think about the third game! It's probably my favourite in the series, despite the story of SH2 being hard to beat. To me it feels weirder and a bit different in a good way.
W. W. Wiklund
2024-10-06 22:24:42 +0000 UTCI'm about as warm as Cloud when it comes to cheering people up but you should know we all appreciate you here and are happy to be a support. Being a Youtuber already seems like a stressful minefield but I can't imagine doing it without the space/privacy to comfortably be yourself. As for the youtube reception I can say some objective things: -Youtube has been getting continually worse this year: pushing corporate videos on recommendations page, hiding new videos from searches, and not pushing new videos to subscribers. -Everybody and their dog was publishing Silent Hill playthroughs in the leadup to the remake, so the market was pretty saturated; and I'm sure tons of people are avoiding any Silent Hill spoilers until after the remake. -I recently learned that many people call the Silent Hill fanbase "the worst, most entitled fanbase in gaming" so maybe that contributed to the comments I've also been a bit worried about liking/commenting on the unlisted videos, because I don't know if that messes up your "engagement" in the algorithm if it's getting likes and comments before being published.
Flukemarm
2024-10-06 21:31:35 +0000 UTCAlready posted my thoughts in the discord but just to say again no matter what happens you've enriched all of our lives and cheered us up through the past few years, so thank you for that
IAmSpartacus
2024-10-06 20:32:48 +0000 UTCI second many of these comments. Your channel has brought me so much joy, laughter, and connection with these games. While it would be sad to see it go, it would be hard not to wish a creator who has brought so much happiness only the best on their path in life. You are a one of a kind, Amber, and whatever your journey is this community believes in you.
Royce Sparks
2024-10-06 20:31:44 +0000 UTCdont forget to watch the other endings, they're golden. specially the UFO and dog ones
Victor Corazza
2024-10-06 20:06:15 +0000 UTCYour channel has brought me so much joy these last couple of years. It will be sad to see it go, but I understand if a change of scenery is required. I think only few, if any, has life figured out. Hopefully you will find your shelf in life and not feel like a failure (which you are not). And absolutely get that sponsor money!
Trolez
2024-10-06 19:30:48 +0000 UTCAnd as for all the negative comments I imagine almost all of that is just angry insecure men 😅
prince sidon
2024-10-06 19:30:01 +0000 UTCIm sorry to hear about everything that has been going on... I just wanted to say that you're definitely not a failure or anything of the sort. It is not an overstatement to say there is no one else in the youtube gaming community who can do it like you. Your insight and intuitiveness when it comes to games, as well as your dedication to the channel, is unmatched and thats why I always look forward to every new series from you. Im sure everyone else feels similarly but regardless we all understand if its just not something thats working out for you, its your channel and life after all and you should always put yourself first. Even if you decided to stop altogether, or even just take a break from youtube for however many months or years we'd support your decision and I can say for myself that if you did decide to ever come back to it i'd happily wait! But even if not, its still your life and you need to do whats best for you.
prince sidon
2024-10-06 19:28:18 +0000 UTCI wish there was something I could do to help! Try not to feel like a failure, life is hard. No shame in downsizing/rearranging/re-learning. Success is entirely what success means to you, no one else. You've fulfilled a dream to work in the games industry and now, if you want to find another passion I say good on you. And if it means going back to school and getting a roommate then so be it. Even the most "classically successful" (read: $$$) people's lives don't go straight up. Hell, I'm starting out my actual career nearly 20 years later than I should. Went to university and basically idled for 15 years before I realized what I wanted to do and started my own business. Doing absolutely nothing with the degree I paid for and never will. Life is what you make of it. You seem to have done great so far - just keep it up and explore any/all things you may want to do with your life! Being happy IS being successful.
Chris DePrisco
2024-10-06 19:20:22 +0000 UTCAlso get all the sponsors you need to for the videos a few minutes or seconds of an ad won’t detract from the quality of the content
Capt Doug
2024-10-06 19:15:59 +0000 UTCI can’t speak for everyone but I would be more than happy if you were to introduce another level to the Patreon to pay more than I already do for the content, by a county mile my favourite content creator so if I can help more with any money troubles then I’d be more than happy to do so, sorry you’re having such a rough time of it and so very greatful for the time and effort you have been putting into the videos as you’re going through it. Silent Hill was a blast both 1 and 2. I’m sure everything will work out what ever you decide to do Amber 💛
Capt Doug
2024-10-06 19:13:42 +0000 UTCThanks for sharing this. Know that no matter what you end up doing with the channel, we appreciate you and the work you put in the videos. Thanks for the hours and hours of entertainment and good luck with everything! You can do it!
Juan
2024-10-06 19:12:09 +0000 UTCReally sad to hear about the circumstances regarding your home and needing to move. Change is always scary, whether that be moving to a new place or going back to school. But if the impression that has been imparted through watching your videos over the past 2½ years (Discovered you at your Hollow Knight playthrough), then I am sure you will be able to handle it. Whatever you end up deciding, I feel like everyone here will support you. And if that means stopping making videos, then so be it. Though I hope that day is not yet soon upon us.
J. P.
2024-10-06 19:06:14 +0000 UTCThere are times in everybodies life that we have to evaluate the path we're on and the choices we've made, but that never makes anybody a failure, it's how we move forward and how we evolve as people. I'm sorry to hear about the negativity you've been experiencing, I honestly don't understand why people feel the need to leave those comments, but those comments are a reflection on the people that wrote them, not you or your obvious talent, talent that grew this channel and community enormously over such a relatively short period of time. You've achieved incredible success and brought so much happiness to members of your community. Thank you so much for the time and work you've put in to bring us such amazing content and no matter what happens in the future or what you choose to do moving forward I hope you find your happiness and the success you truly deserve
Human#19138980
2024-10-06 19:04:19 +0000 UTCI quite like that band analogy
Johno3998
2024-10-06 19:03:29 +0000 UTCOh Amber, I’m so sorry to hear that :( That’s really heavy, needing to move house 😧 Absolutely do take on sponsorships, you’ve earned it! You have to be able to provide for yourself and honestly, viewers can exaggerate when it comes to sponsorships; it’s just saying “product x is nice”, you’re not trafficking people :) Also sorry about the comment sections. It can hurt so much just knowing people are aiming to hurt you, regardless of what they’re actually saying. I can also imagine it’s starting to get harder to be positive with the days getting shorter and darker. I know I’m struggling with it. I hate my fucking job and my awful colleagues, and during the summer it was fine/manageable, but now I’m starting to feel really stuck and, looking back, all my life choices seem bad (they weren’t, but it’s hard to convince myself of that). I hope it can bring you some solace knowing that you’re not alone in feeling that you don’t have a grip on your life and not knowing how to turn it around (if it’s okay for me to summarise it like that). For what it’s worth, I really really like all your videos, I’ve enjoyed Silent Hill 1 & 2 so much more than expected and you are my absolute favourite when it comes to video making!
Huib Gelling
2024-10-06 19:01:51 +0000 UTCDang that sucks you have to move, but hopefully your next place will have some charm of its own - even if you can't keep doing videos. I can only imagine the public YouTube side can be a real drain to deal with as a creator, but we all appreciate your content, your game-choice and efforts, and look how far you've come from the early days (Edith Finch era) with your audio (no longer cuts out when you get louder) and your editing, which is very funny lately too (although I fully enjoy the old videos too). I fully relate to that nervousness in talking about things, and feeling like a failure can also be a little too relatable haha (I say as someone with one subject left in my degree that I'm doing now but already failed twice before 🙃), but there's no need to be, we appreciate your honest thoughts and I don't personally see how learning all these useful skills in running a YouTube/Streaming are the result of "failure", but it does suck when it feels something isn't working. Change can sometimes feel like the last things have failed or not worked out, for example my sister is re-studying her third degree in her mid 30s, but she's really enjoying it and feels passionate about what she's doing (Communications) - Don’t worry too much—things don’t always go as planned, but at the very least on here, your community is here for you no matter what you decide to do next
Johno3998
2024-10-06 18:58:46 +0000 UTCAmber you are such a unique and gifted person, I really like you. Negativity is a bitch and sometimes it comes from us, sometimes from other people, but it always finds a way if you're not careful enough. Wheter you keep making content, change your career, move to a new place, or all of that at the same time, dont forget this: there's a considerate amount of people here that support, encourage and believe in you. Believe in yourself too!! the future is bright
Victor Corazza
2024-10-06 18:56:44 +0000 UTCI went back to school at 40 and have been successful in my new career for 19 years now. It was scary at the time but worth the risk. I hope you do whatever you need to do for your health and mental wellbeing!
Jim Pegoda
2024-10-06 18:56:33 +0000 UTCMuch love, Amber! I do hope things work out for you. I love your videos! As someone who recently dropped out of university and moved back in with my parents, still trying to figure life out, I can at least partly relate to your struggles. Don’t worry, lots of people go through this, I’m sure things will work out for you. And regarding the video stats, I would imagine that’s almost entirely due to the game, rather than anything that you’re doing personally. Some games are just not as popular and not as many people are looking for play throughs. I really loved it though! I bet if you were to play the Silent Hill 2 Remake as soon as it comes out it would do really well because people want to see what the game is like. Maybe worth trying, I don’t know. And try not to take any negative comments personally, it’s the Internet we’re talking about, some people just get a kick out of being mean. Just remember that the vast majority of those who watched it had nothing negative to say at all, it’s just a few that do. You can see this if you wait a day or two before reading comments. I’ve noticed that they tend to filter themselves; people hit the like button on the nice comments and ignore any mean ones, so overall the comments section just seems a lot nicer. Anyway, good luck with everything!
Luke H
2024-10-06 18:55:02 +0000 UTCIf you wanted to do 100 sponsorships a month to keep this channel going, I'd fully support that. That said, it seems like you're just not enjoying Youtube as a whole, so I'd understand if you just walked away from it. No matter what though, you're not a failure! You tried something and it might end up not being for you, you didn't do anything wrong, and you still did really well! I'll miss you if you do leave but I'd understand.
Nina
2024-10-06 18:46:37 +0000 UTCfirst things first, you are NOT a failure. the videos you make have brought me and so many others a lot of happiness and they have brought this community together and that has truly brightened up my life. i don't wanna speak for others, but i'm sure many feel the same! that alone is worth so much and something to be very proud of i'm so sorry that you're dealing with all the stuff you're dealing with. youtube can be incredibly toxic and i can't imagine how hard it is trying not to let it get to you. remember that we're always rooting for you and you at least have that support! sponsors to deal with financial troubles is SO fine, don't even worry about it. honestly fuck anyone who has a problem with that lmao, you are entirely entitled to do what you have to, sponsors are no biggie whatsoever it can be so hard being honest and i understand feeling embarrassed, it's very brave of you to speak about these, speaking about your fears is often one of the best ways to confront them it seems like you have a lot to think about, but you have full support with whatever decision you think is best for you. whether that means that videos have to slow down or stop - while they would be missed - what's important is that you're happy! sorry if i've overstepped at all with what i've said haha, just wanted to say how much we all appreciate you and what you do, it's such a bright part of my day. wishing you all the best and all the luck in the world <3
ChilledGricken
2024-10-06 18:40:59 +0000 UTCYou and your health and wellbeing must come first! If the YouTube channel closes, I shall miss it, but I will very much understand. If the channel remains open, but dormant for any period of time I very much will understand that as well. It will be rather like when a band splits up; the music remains, even after the band members move on to different things. I very much have loved your YouTube videos for years now (I discovered you with Bloodborne, when I was playing it). Your health and wellbeing must come first, above and beyond anything. And anyone who criticizes or mocks you for your decisions, whatever that may be, shall answer to me.
Daniel
2024-10-06 18:40:50 +0000 UTCI really do appreciate your honest thoughts. No matter what, you got our support! You have done so well making the content, journeying in the games we love, and experiencing them your wonderful way. Thank you, Amber. We all are very grateful. 🧡
InarteS
2024-10-06 18:37:07 +0000 UTC
