The Fusionist Book 2 -- Chapter 50

Chapter 50

That night, alone in his room for the first time since attending Copperleaf – and for the majority of his time at Crystalview – Larek slept horribly. The temporary curtain that one of the staff had put up where the doorway had been were unable to block out his screams that woke him up multiple times, and tears that sprang unbidden to his eyes wet his pillow until it was soaked.

It wasn’t thoughts or dreams about the abrupt attack on the room, the sound of his roommates being flung against the wall with bone-breaking force, or even the devastating damage done to his legs that kept waking him up. No, it was what happened afterward that was affecting him so much.

The screams of the two Martial trainees as they essentially melted inside of the interrogation room echoed through his head all night, only to be interrupted by the pleas that Ricardo made for his life. All of that was overlaid by the disturbing way that Larek had reacted, as if he didn’t care about what happened to them… as long as it didn’t inconvenience him. When he was finally able to evaluate his feelings before and after his actions, he found that it all came down to him acting in a way that wouldn’t mess with his own plans and freedom.

Sure, he also justified what he had to do and had done by saying it was to protect his friends and family, but in reality it was only that – a justification for murder. He might have ended up eventually dying to his abductors if he did nothing, but did killing them in response make him any better than they were? While he didn’t really care about the Kingdom and most of its people as a whole, he had also removed a trio of future SIC defenders; each of them could’ve saved thousands or hundreds of thousands of lives over the course of their life, and he had prevented that in just a couple hours of a rage-filled need for selfish revenge.

He tried to comfort himself with thoughts that it was indeed necessary, that if he hadn’t done it then he would’ve died and his friends and family could be targets, as well, but that all fell back on his justification for his extreme actions. Any thoughts of blaming it on self-defense fell through as the memory of the feeling – or lack of feeling, if he was being honest with himself – during the entire ambush came back to him; the only thing that came up to his mind when he thought about his motivation back then was that these people were in his way, and the only way to keep moving forward was to clear them from his path.

And that sickened him just thinking about it.

Is this something that I’ve inherited from my… Gergasi parent? My actual, biological father? Or am I just a bad person?

Larek didn’t think that he was a bad person, or at least didn’t believe he had been before all this happened. Even after murdering three people and hiding the evidence, he still didn’t feel like he was a bad person at heart—but would someone who did that even be qualified to judge their own actions and morality? Probably not, he decided, but that didn’t help him much.

In the end, other than declaring himself a bad person and having to learn to deal with it, the only explanation he had was that it was something from his mysterious father. Given that they had some sort of Dominion magic that allowed them to enslave people, it was entirely possible that a portion of that power translated into… whatever it was that seemed to take him over. He still remembered the incredible anger he felt throughout he entire body when something in him snapped, unleashing a cold rage that desired nothing but the deaths of those who opposed him. It had always been there but had been hidden, and he worried that now that it had been unleashed, he wouldn’t be able to control it.

Though, on further reflection, he realized that his ability to control his state of hyper-focus had improved considerably. He thought that he could call it forth and dismiss it whenever he wanted, which had helped when he’d been forced to answer questions set upon him by the Dean of Copperleaf Academy, but would it also lead to that unquenchable rage again? He had no way of knowing, of course, and the only ones that might know… well, he had no desire to interact with such powerful, mythical beings if he could help it.

All he could do was make a promise to himself not to do something like what he’d done to Ricardo and the Martial trainees ever again, unless it was an undeniable case of self-defense. His pre-meditated infliction of death upon them was the issue he was struggling with, not that he’d actually killed them; if they had simply attacked him and he fought back, that was another case entirely. The fact that he felt no remorse for their deaths, only at the method of which those deaths had been carried out, was something that should probably concern him, but he already had his hands full dealing with one problem at a time.

The next day, Larek got up from his bed and from very little sleep, dragging himself out to get cleaned up and obtain some food. He was surprised to find, once he got to the Dining Hall, that breakfast was already over and lunch was nearly being served; it was one of the few times in recent years that he hadn’t gotten up before dawn, which was unusual for him.

Later, after classes ended for the day, he visited the healer’s ward again with Nedira, but his friends still weren’t awake. Thankfully, he could tell that they looked a little better, as some of their coloring had come back, but it would probably be another day or two before they woke up; he was confident that they would wake up, at least.

Nedira attempted to chat with him while they waited at their bedsides, but Larek wasn’t a great conversationalist at that point. Half the time, he temporarily fell asleep during their conversations, only to be woken up by some sort of noise; the other half, he could barely concentrate on the words that were coming out of the fourth-year’s mouth.

“You should head back to your room, Larek. Did you even get any sleep last night?”

Her words caught him just as he was about to nod off again, and he shook his head. “No. I couldn’t sleep.”

Larek as her hesitate for a moment, before she hesitatingly asked, “I could always sleep in your room, you know, if you need company? I’m sure being the only one there in the room where you were attacked isn’t necessarily the best thing for you right now.”

Touched that she would be thinking of him despite her brother being in a coma right next to her, he grinned, thinking that might be a good solution to his problem. With it being so quiet in the room with only him inside, it had certainly challenging to get to sleep; that, and having a reminder nearby that what he had done wasn’t just for himself, but for his friends – even if it was still a justification – might be enough to keep his self-torturing thoughts at bay.  There was a problem with that whole situation, however.

“I’d really appreciate that, but that would only get us both in trouble since you aren’t supposed to be in there after a certain time at night,” he replied sadly. “That, and I only have a curtain blocking my room from the hallway, so the likelihood of someone coming along and hearing you inside might cause some problems. I’ve got enough scrutiny on me right now that I don’t want you to get caught up in it any more than you already are.”

“I don’t mind getting into a little trouble if it means that I can be there to, uh, help you sleep,” she interjected hurriedly.

“No, as much as I would like that, I don’t want you to get in trouble on my sake. I mean, look what happened to your brother! While it wasn’t my fault, I still feel horrible for unknowingly putting him in danger. It might even be best if I stay away from everybody until this whole thing—”

“Don’t say that! We’re here for you; friends don’t just abandon each other when things get tough. We’re stronger together.”

Larek just nodded in acceptance, glad that he wasn’t forced to abandon his friends to keep them safe. He would do it in a heartbeat, if it was necessary, because he didn’t want anything to happen to them – at least, more than had happened already – but he didn’t want to have to leave them.

“Thank you for your offer, but in this case I would be knowingly putting you in danger of punishment; even if I could handle getting myself in trouble, I couldn’t live with myself if I deliberately caused you harm. You mean too much to me for that to happen.”

“I—I do?”

“Of course! We’re friends, after all. If Verne’s taught me anything, roommates and friends look out for each other.”

She looked disappointed for some reason. Larek felt another wave of exhaustion wash over him, preventing him from being too curious about it. “Oh, yes, of course. Like you said, we’re friends and we look out for each other.”

The tired former Logger smiled as he looked back at her. “Hey, are you hungry? Care to grab a late dinner with me? I think they’re still open for a little while longer.”

“I’d love to. I mean, uh, I’m famished and couldn’t eat lunch from all my worries over Norde.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be back on his feet in no time. He already does look better, doesn’t he?”

She nodded, looking at her brother, before jumping up and lifting Larek’s arm to get him to rise. “C’mon, let’s head to the Dining Hall – I’m starving!” she said enthusiastically, which reminded Larek a little of Verne at that moment. Chuckling, he allowed her to lead him to the Dining Hall with her arm hooked through his own, despite him knowing the way. It was nonetheless appreciated, because his tiredness was causing his walk to become a little more difficult than usual.

Dinner was basically a blur, as was his trek back to his room afterwards. He barely remembered saying goodbye to Nedira before he was in his room, collapsing on his bed to get some sleep.

He got somesleep, but his dreams were still plagued with the screams of his victims, causing him to have yet another moderately restless night. By the time he woke up, barely in time to hit the tail end of breakfast once he left his room, he felt physically and mentally worn out, like he’d had to drag the wagon back home on his own for the day, acting as a mule while having to maintain a complicated conversation on spell patterns with a Professor – at the same time.

A full 48 hours after the attack, his friends in a coma looked even better than they had before, even as Larek deteriorated. Nedira offered once again to spend the night in his room to keep him company, but he again refused – though it was getting harder to do so because he just wanted some uninterrupted sleep.

That night, he managed to get perhaps a full two hours of decent sleep where he didn’t dream at all; he figured his body had basically knocked him unconscious so as to allow at least a little rest, but that was unfortunately all. Thankfully, that day, both Verne and Norde woke up approximately an hour from each other.

“Hey there, roomie,” Verne said in a weak voice once Larek stopped by his side. “What happened?”

“You don’t remember anything?”

The little tree-like boy shook his head weakly. “I vaguely remember being hurt and waking up just long enough to heal myself and turn it off, but that’s it. That thing is a life-saver, by the way,” he responded. He didn’t have to name what he was talking about because Larek already knew.

“Maybe. But it also put you into a coma.”

“Ah. So that’s why I’m so weak.”

Larek nodded, concerned that his roommate would be angry at him for his Fusion causing him to be in this situation.

“Well, better in a coma than dead, am I right?”

“I… I guess so. You’re not mad?”

Verne chuckled a few times, though the effort seemed to tax him. “What? No, of course not. You saved my life, even if it was only by extension of you know what.”

Larek sagged in relief, ecstatic to hear that his friend wasn’t going to hold his being in a coma against him.

“Now, who do I have to slap around to get some food around here? I’m literally starving; coma and all that stuff, you know.”

Larek chuckled at his friend’s good spirits, even if he was weak, and he went to find the nearest healer to check on getting him and Norde some food.

“They’ll have to stay here for the next day, at least, while they recover their energy,” one of the healers announced as soon as the two young boys were sitting up in bed and eating. While they weren’t shoveling it all in, they were putting it away at a fairly rapid pace. “Normally, it would take longer, as those who haven’t eaten in a few days should eater slower and smaller portions to allow their bodies the time to acclimate to food again, but they are showing no signs of malnutrition or other factors that would lead me to believe that is necessary. As you can see, all they’re missing is energy, which the food should take care of over the next day or so.”

“That is good to hear,” Nedira said, coming up to talk to the healer. “But you think they’ll make a full recovery?”

“Oh, absolutely. I’d say that they’ve already reached that point, but we’d like to monitor them over the 24 hours to ensure nothing else is wrong.”

Leaving his newly awakened roommates later that night, he walked with Nedira back to their rooms, with her holding onto his arm even though it wasn’t necessary. Ever since they woke up, he’d experienced a burst of energy that cut through the worst of his exhaustion. “See, I told you they would be alright,” Larek told her.

“You were right, though I never really doubted it,” she responded. “I just didn’t like seeing my brother like that.” She was silent for a few moments as they kept walking. “Norde thinks you saved his life, you know that?”

“Oh? That’s what Verne said, too. I don’t really see it that way, I guess; it was the Fusion that healed them and forced them into a coma, after all.”

“Yes, but despite the devastating – and thankfully temporary – side-effect, it’s hard to deny how effective it is. Have you thought about proposing to share it with the Fort?”

“Ah… hmm. About that, I’ve been told not to reveal it to anyone else quite yet, in fear that it might expose my, uh, unique capabilities.” He whispered the next part, just in case anyone was listening, though he couldn’t see anyone within 50 feet. “It was based off my Body Regeneration Skill as much as the Minor Mending spell, after all.”

“I see. I guess that makes sense, but perhaps you can design another Fusion that isn’t based off that Skill?”

He’d thought of that before, but the problem was he didn’t know any other spells other than Minor Mending, and its effect wasn’t strong enough without Body Regeneration taking the brunt of the healing. He thought it might eventually be possible if he was able to learn more, but at the moment he wasn’t sure how to go about it.

“Possibly in the future, but not right now. I’ll look into it, though.”

It was at that point that Larek realized he hadn’t thought about creating another Fusion in days – a rarity for him lately. It probably had to do with the fact that the last ones he had created had been used in some quite unsavory ways in addition to being too exhausted to think straight or focus. Regardless, he thought he might try his hand at getting back into it the next day or even the one after that, though he was still going to need the ability to focus on it without falling asleep.

After saying good night to Nedira, who looked disappointed to see him leave, he collapsed on his bed once he was inside his room, most of the energy that had filled him after his friends woke up draining from him at the thought of sleep. On the way in, he barely acknowledged that he’d had to open a newly replaced door to his room, which he was sure that his roommates would be appreciative of once they were back the next day. A fleeting thought shot through his mind at the presence of the door, that Nedira might be safer staying the night in his room now that there was a solid barrier preventing anyone from looking inside, but he was too tired to get up and tell her about it.

It didn’t take long to succumb to the glory of restful sleep, and while he still woke up a few times as screaming nightmares jolted him awake, the mere fact that his friends had safely emerged from their comas without any obvious side-effects was enough to soothe his mind enough for him to get the best night of sleep he’d had in what felt like months.

Book 2 Chapter 51: https://www.patreon.com/posts/fusionist-book-2-84287552