okay so this family tree ended up being so fucknormous i decided to split it in half for now. I’ll be uploading the complete tree soon, with Mona and all her relatives. For nowwww:
In the late 80s, young Lulu Truffleton was bright-eyed, fresh outta high school, and hungry for independence and adventure. She lands a waittressing job at a shabby old diner- it’s not the most glamorous gig, but it keeps the lights on in her tiny apartment at least. Besides, this is just the first step in a long and amazing life!
It’s here that she met Jean-Luc, a homeless boar that often camped out behind the diner. Jean-Luc was soft-spoken and shy, often lost in his thoughts- a curious contrast to loud, boisterous Lulu. She couldn’t help befriending him, and would sneak him hot coffee on cold days, and then later full meals, and then- aw hell, why not invite him to stay with her for a while? Just until he gets back on his hooves! It’s the neighborly thing to do, after all.
Jean-Luc is taken aback at this show of hospitality from a near-stranger. As he comes to live with Lulu, he comes to open up to her….and slowly, he begins to fall for her. Lulu, meanwhile, becomes determined to turn Jean-Luc into her own personal success project, helping him get clean-shaven and into fresh-pressed clothes and with some luck, into a couple job interviews soon. She’s startled when her houseguest expresses romantic interest in her- okay, um, well…that’s not quite where Lulu was planning on this to go. She does attempt to resist in the beginning, this feels a tiny bit like things are tilting from neighborly to inappropriate. Still….Jean-Luc is very sweet, and…tempting, when he puts his mind to it…and ultimately, Lulu is a sow with needs like any other. Culturally speaking, pigs are not exactly known for restraint.
Jean-Luc meant to do right by Lulu, he truly did. But as their relationship turns more serious, as Lulu begins to push him harder to get a job and start thinking about the future…a familiar itch starts up in his brain. Jean-Luc is an addict. Gambling and alcohol have held him in a vice-grip since his teen years, he can never stay sober as long as he’d like. He slides back into old habits, drinking in secret, lying about his whereabouts while Lulu is at work. He finds he can no longer stand Lulu’s blind faith in him, doesn’t she know he’s a piece of garbage? When Lulu announces that her period is late, Jean-Luc is petrified. He collapses into a full-scale relapse. Gone are the dreams of being a salary man and finally becoming Lulu’s equal. Now he’s stealing money from her wallet, money he knows Lulu would happily, unflinchingly lend him if he only asked…she’s so trusting, so loving, so goddamned stupid. Seized with shame and self-loathing, and knowing it’s only a matter of time before he ends up in the streets again, Jean-Luc disappears in the dead of night. Lulu and the baby are better off without him dragging them down into his dysfunction, he’s sure of it. It’s the right thing to do.
Lulu had known Jean-Luc was anxious and extra-jittery lately, but she is still blindsided by his abandonment. For a long time, she’s furious at Jean-Luc and his unforgivable cowardice- wordy bastard could’ve at least left her a dear john letter- but over time, Lulu comes to blame herself. She can’t help but wonder if she made the poor boar feel trapped, if maybe she’d been too much for him. She knows she’s often too much for people. She opts not to chase after him for custody or child support….or even closure. Lulu doesn’t feel at all prepared to be a mom, and her waitressing only barely pays a living wage- and yet when her fluffy baby boarlet is placed in her arms….Lulu thinks maybe everything will be okay. In the end.
….Um. Somehow.
notes:
-Lulu was born in a litter of 13 other siblings, and she didn’t see much of her mother growing up. She was raised largely by her father, Thibodeaux Truffleton (more commonly known by his nickname, TWO-TON TRUFF). Massively muscled Truff has many different kids from many different sows (across different states even), but Lulu has always been his favorite. Although his piddly factory worker income meant he couldn’t ever afford to get his daughter nice toys or new clothes, Truff could reliably be called upon for help changing a tire or stealing cable from the neighbors. When Jean-Luc vanishes without a trace, Truff declares that he will step in as a father figure for Lulu’s son. Tibbs was thus very close with his peepaw growing up, his very first memory is being carried on grandpa’s giant shoulders. Truff passes away when Tibbs is about 13 years old (being that huge turned out to be taxing on the heart), leaving Lulu to frantically take on extra shifts at work just to stay afloat, while Tibbs retreats into himself, becoming depressed, surly, and withdrawn.
-Tibbs got the “big pig” gene from his grandpa!
-Jean-Luc is still around, and still in and out of various homeless shelters and treatment centers. He and Tibbs have met. Once or twice when Tibbs was a piglet, and then quite a few times in Tibbs adulthood. Lulu has long forgiven Jean-Luc (secretly she feels ashamed and guilty over having started a relationship with him to begin with, she should’ve been more responsible, god, he was a vulnerable person dependent on her for housing, how could she have let a relationship between them happen? It’s all her fault, all her fault)
Tibbs, meanwhile, just fuckin hates the guy. In Tibbs’ eye, his father is a drunk, an embarrassment, and what’s worse, the man who mooched off his mom, knocked her up, and then ditched her without so much as a goodbye. Tibbs wants nothing to do with his so-called father. Unfortunately, Jean-Luc very much wants a relationship with Tibbs. For one, because Tibbs is the only real family Jean-Luc has, and for two, he is genuinely remorseful for having abandoned his partner and child. Jean-Luc is desperate to make things right again. To know his son. At least, that’s the case whenever he’s sober. When he’s relapsed, Jean-Luc can be quite volatile and even belligerent- sometimes contacting Tibbs to ramble incoherently at him or to beg for money. Tibbs keeps contact to an absolute minimum, and the topic of his father is always guaranteed to put him in a bad mood.
-Perry and Lulu, meanwhile, think Tibbs should try to reconcile with his dad. He’s not a bad guy, only…troubled. Perry in particular is well-versed in making excuses for problematic parents (shout-out to Liv), so this is a somewhat common argument between him and his hog-husband.
-Jean-Luc has no given last name because neither Lulu or Tibbs know what it is. He has only ever given fakes- Jean-Luc may not even be his real name.
-As is the case with Tibbs and Lulu, Jean-Luc is a native cajun French speaker. Tibbs switches to French whenever Jean-Luc is around so Perry won’t understand how bitterly and fervently he is demanding Jean-Luc fuck off already.
-Snickerdoodle is of course Perry and Tibbs’ inevitable adopted babie. The stigma of being a pred/prey couple did them little favors during the years they spent in talks with various adoption agencies- and neither did Tibbs’ past felony record. Every adoption mysteriously falls through at the last moment. Distraught, the pair come very close to abandoning the idea of ever having a child together- but through a spot of serendipity, they are connected to a surrogate case. And so Snickerdoodle (and her mouthful of a name) is born! And she is beloved. Tibbs took a whole year off working the bed & breakfast to be a stay-at-home dad raising infant Doodlebug and was on absolute hog-mommy cloud nine. Perry teases him about it, but he’s equally, if not more so, obsessed with their little squirrel girl.
Snickerdoodle is a giant red and white flying squirrel. Capable of gliding more than thousand feet, she has regrettably not yet learned the fine art of landing, and thus gives her dads a fucking heart attack every time she decides to leap off the roof. Which is often. Precocious, chaotic, and prone to storing throwing knives in her cheek pouches, she remains Tibbs’ all-time favorite person. And Perry’s favorite person. And you better believe she’s meemaw Lulu’s favorite person. Jean-Lucs need not apply.
Morghann Patterson
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