What Is A Woman
Added 2024-08-11 00:41:53 +0000 UTC“A woman's first blood doesn't come from between her legs, but from biting her tongue.”
―Meggie C. Royer
In which Topher grapples with what in means to be a girl- particularly a girl living in a restrictive dogmatic religious environment. No longer a child, but an object, to be shaved, groomed, plucked, dressed, prettied up, molded, maintained, courted, spoken over, pursued, consumed, possessed. Also, brushed off when you speak up about it. Welcome to womanhood, Topher.
It sticks out that of all three Meadowsweet kids, Topher is the only one that didn’t need a big dramatic character arc to unlearn being an asshole. As an adult he’s not exactly sweet, but he’s highly empathetic, quietly kind with a strong sense of justice, and he’ll always stick up for the little guy. He’s a true punk. Topher was very resistant to his community’s brainwashing growing up, because he recognized how he and others suffered under it. And it pissed him off that nobody else seemed to see it.
He grows more and more disillusioned with what’s expected of him as a young woman, of his community’s hypocrisy and bigotry-and the illusion is shattered entirely when his father tears their family apart on one vile, selfish impulse. Topher is struck by a rebellious streak that never truly goes away. Though he doesn’t yet know it, he starts leaning into feminist thinking, which opens his eyes to the flaws inherent in the social systems he’d been raised never to question. Women’s liberation, queer rights, worker’s rights, disability rights, aid for the poor, equality for the disenfranchised, freedom for the exploited, retribution for the exploiters. The little spark of anger within Topher explodes into a raging inferno that burns bright and burns hot, forever. (Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.)
For the record, I agree with Maple. While it’s definitely important to question how much of our choices are influenced by living in a patriarchal society, ultimately girlhood is up to the individual to define. No matter how rigid gender expectations can be, or how an individual may be punished for not fitting the mold, there is no one singular way to be a girl. Too bad Topher’s not a girl…
Comments
ngglglll. i can relate to Topher so much in this picture. im not trans but man my moms christian values and how im "blossoming" and a woman now when my period first started really had me dig my feet in. felt so gross.
Mix
2024-08-18 02:12:40 +0000 UTCIt's a common symbol for their religion. FB's equivalent of the christian cross. Their faith claims that all animal-people used to be without feeling or thought, kind of like how we perceive irl animals. Basically asleep, until their divine creator/god woke them up. The necklace represents the divine "spark" alive in every individual, and they wear the necklace out of gratitude for being blessed with intelligence, feelings, and souls
Lopoddity
2024-08-15 23:13:45 +0000 UTCOnly just noticed but Maple is wearing a similar necklace to the one Toffee had in the fine dining post, I’m wondering now though if that’s just a coincidence or not
Angsty Ram
2024-08-15 21:54:31 +0000 UTCThank you so much! <3 Means a lot ❤️
Lopoddity
2024-08-13 01:54:32 +0000 UTCAhhh, getting hit with those weird gender feelings, am I a woman or have I trauma bonded to the female experience? Good work as you always do on this, loving the recent text heavy comics. I love your writing a lot.
Kate
2024-08-12 01:40:52 +0000 UTCMore like My Little Pony. The unicorns all have dresses and names and complicated backstories
Lopoddity
2024-08-12 01:32:00 +0000 UTCIs that like a variant of Barbie in this verse? I’d love to see what that version entails
Morghann Patterson
2024-08-12 01:29:24 +0000 UTCFun facts about Maple: -She's an only child. Her relationship with her mom is touchy (mom was very critical about Maple's body growing up), but she has a friendlier relationship with her dad. They mostly talk sports. -She loves babysitting! Maple babysat many of the neighborhood kids, but Topher was always her favorite, both because of his proximity to Toffee and because Maple could see Topher's deep, profound inner sadness, and made it her personal project to coax him out of his shell and make him happy. -In her youth she played volleyball and was a bit of a local champ for her high school. She hoped to attend college on a volleyball scholarship and study child psychology. -She's a lover of the little things. She really does appreciate getting to have a popsicle at the park with her favorite gloomy pup. -She's prone to magical thinking....sometimes even delusional thinking. Maple also believes in things like healing crystals, astrology, tarot card predictions, and aliens, though mostly just for fun. Although she gave a lot of it up later (Merry dismissed it as "witchcraft"), she still has a very large collection of crystals and cool rocks. -Maple LOVES horses. She's a horse girl! She thinks they're just so dang pretty and cool and isn't it neat how many colors their coats come in? She watches equestrian sports and has several horse celebrity crushes (Toffee's long, mane-like hair might’ve factored into her attraction to him...). Like Toffee, she collects porcelain unicorn figurines.
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 18:34:51 +0000 UTCNo wonder I like Topher so much. He’s literally me.
Jay
2024-08-11 17:03:51 +0000 UTCThe "I am not a woman but I was raised as one" in the tags really hits home. It's exactly the same for me. I'm not a woman and I never have been. I may have my period, I may put on makeup, and I may still use she/her pronouns in conjunction with they/them; none of these make me a woman. As I've grown older I've finally gotten the education that helped me understand how to truly view my gender identity, and how it exists in constant separation from rigid binary identities. I am neither, have always been neither, and will continue to be neither. And that suits me just fine. 💕 I may be miserable and unhappy about other aspects of myself (my recent Hashimoto's diagnosis has lent itself to excessive weight gain, undoing all I'd lost last year and adding on more, and it's now much harder to lose.) A lot of my insecurities stem from my weight and body in general, and my family did not help this. Every day is a battle against loving my body when I already have learned to love my Self; it's an exhausting process. But I'm so glad that my gender identity never really was a point of contention personally. Now, for others, that wasn't the case. I've mentioned it in passing a few times before, how kids in school would haze me for anything, even neighbors at some points spreading nasty rumors about me despite never having met me, but the mockery over my gender never seemed to land, because I never cared that much about the binary to begin with. I'd always questioned, in the back of my mind, without the language to speak the true phrase, just like I'd questioned my sexuality at a very young age (a close friend of mine came out to me as bi, I think I was one of the first people they told, and they seemed to ignite the spark of questioning in me. Alex, you disappeared from school not long after that, and I hope that wherever you are you are happy. Thank you for trusting me and opening the door for me to learn more about myself). I wish I'd had the strength to ignore the jokes and hazing about obesity as well, and I think it stemmed from the fact that my mom projected her own insecurities about her own weight onto me, and my dad reinforced it. Hard not to feel miserable and gross when your own parent tells you your body is disgusting. I'll spend a long time yet trying to heal from the pain of it. I kind of went on a tangent here, sorry about that lol. I just really love and relate to Topher, I too can't stand my dad's bullshit and butt heads with him at most ideals because he stays drinking the MAGA cool aid despite being a person of color, indigenous at that (he is Not white-passing either, most other racist white men think he is Hispanic lol). I too have a ton of empathy while still being not super sweet, and also have a low tolerance for people being shitty for the sake of it/to get ahead. Punks rock, even if I don't really align with the aesthetics of them too much 😅 Anyway all this to say I love Topher's mean ass so much.
mirarevias
2024-08-11 16:43:33 +0000 UTCI just wanna saw how much I adore your art style- the content of this is *chefs kiss* but after I read it I sat for awhile and just looked at the drawing cause it's just... Gorgeous. Also, I want to know more about maple and her family, her parents, potential siblings or lack thereof, she seems so sweet and to know where it ends up is so sad
DamnitDinkles
2024-08-11 16:17:08 +0000 UTCIn Topher's case no, he fully rocks with being a trans man. But Perry's case is different. It took him longer than Topher to figure out his identity, for a portion of his youth Perry thought he was a butch lesbian and tried dating women. Eventually he learns he's a gay trans man, but after transitioning he discovers he's not really all that uncomfortable with being referred to in feminine terms, so long as it's his choice. His mom calling him a pretty girl makes him wanna claw somebody, but Tibbs calling him a pretty girl makes him flustered and giggly. Perry wears skirts and the occasional dress and was pretty amused the first time he met Kathleen and she excitedly (and alas, incorrectly), clocked him as a fellow butch dyke. Even Perry's sexuality isn't as inflexible as he originally thought, he identifies as gay because he is, but sometimes he meets the occasional lady he wouldn't mind cuddling and kissing. Unlike Topher, however, Perry feels strong discomfort and dysphoria at the idea of ever being pregnant, even though he does want kids. Perry got a bisalp a couple years into dating Tibbs to forever ease his anxieties regarding birth control. At the same time, he finds the idea of his hypothetical kid calling him "mama" or "mom" really cute. Perry's a pretty go-with-the-flow kinda guy though, so he doesn't feel agonized over presenting "wrong" or sometimes having discordant feelings. He simply does whatever feels natural, and he's pretty happy with himself.
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 14:11:04 +0000 UTCI accept your Care Bear hyperbeam of love and send it back 10 fold Ho >:o choke on my love and adoration!!! 🚀 💣 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🌈 🌈 🌈 🚀
Heather
2024-08-11 13:29:43 +0000 UTCOhhh yeah. This hits :,) I'm not a binary trans man, but I am transmasc and on HRT with plans to eventually get top surgery. My gender is kinda complicated, I consider myself to be genderfluid. Most days I sit comfortably somewhere in the space between male and nonbinary, other days I feel strictly masc, but on some rare days I feel more fem and present myself as such. And sometimes on those days I feel. Almost disappointed? Like man. I had finally told myself that there was no wrong way to be a woman!! That gender norms are bullshit!! That I can be an example to other young girls who might feel the same as I do and don't fit into the little box that society deems a woman is!! Only to later realize... Oh. Oh I'm not actually a woman at all. I really went back and forth for a While about it before ultimately deciding that transitioning was actually the right move for me. And tbh from what I've seen this seems to be a fairly common transmasc experience. Does Toph ever struggle with this? Or did he just dive right in and never look back?
Lammergayier
2024-08-11 13:10:48 +0000 UTCOh god yeah that is a really unfortunate side effect :/
AsTheJayFlies
2024-08-11 04:36:39 +0000 UTCgod. man. i really appreciate this story, i love topher so much. i have many thoughts and cant quite verbalize them without devolving into a rambling tangent abt my life and my gender, but. this piece is so. its SO. yeah.
AsTheJayFlies
2024-08-11 04:28:43 +0000 UTCTopher feels a wide chasm between himself and the idea of being a girl, but he mostly thinks these are normal, completely warranted feelings because being (perceived as/treated as) a teenage girl fucking sucks. He kinda had an idea what a trans person was, or at least a trans woman, since early 2000s media at the time was leaning way into cheap "man in a dress" jokes. But at the time his gender just felt like a shitty immutable thing he had to put up with, so he was way more interested in smoking pot with friends, and pushing back against the social pressure to get a boyfriend (he didn't know it at the time, but he's aromantic). It's not until Topher gets to college that he gets realllllly into the history of rock and roll, and discovers the man who will change his life. Baalthazar Baast. God of rock. Prince of darkness. Musical legend. Open trans man. It clicks almost instantly for Topher, like oh shit, that's it, that's ME. There is no despair or discomfort or shame- it simply feels like pulling on a pair of clothes that FINALLY fit. Topher knows this is who he is and wholly believes it's up to everybody else to keep up. And Toffee and Eleanor do, of course.
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 04:14:08 +0000 UTCAs a cis woman, I will always agree there is no “right” way to be a girl. I always get questions at work from moms, asking “is this for boys or girls” and the shirt has little dinosaurs on it. I just say “depends. Does she like dinosaurs?” Look at me, I’m a girl and I like dinosaurs and pokemon and marvel and basically most things you’d see on “boys clothing”. Also tangent, My 13 year old sister sometimes gets the pressure (from peers) of liking the “popular” boy or wearing a dress once in a while (from her parents). The kid already wears lipgloss and mascara, what more do you want? I always told her that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing and just be yourself. Though, shes in her “following the cool kids” phase of her life now. I think kids get that pressure more than anything.. I know I had a little bit of it as a kid (and some still a little bit now).
PrincessMuffinArt
2024-08-11 03:59:56 +0000 UTCI thought about that as I drew this. It's an accident on my part, since I created Honey first and worked backwards to design her relatives, I wanted it to be super easy to look at Topher and know he's Honey's brother, and look at Maple and know she's Honey's mom. Maple and Topher both share visual similarities with Honey, which has the unfortunate side effect of making them look related to each OTHER. Whoops. Like Merry's a creep definitely, but I didn't actually set out for him to be a creep THAT way. :C
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 03:56:02 +0000 UTCI gotcha. :3 I'll try to add the appropriate trigger warnings on my heavier stuff.
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 03:50:36 +0000 UTCAs i once said on meet the meadowsweets, when i first drew the connection between maple and toffee being the same age: ***i hope merry burns in doggy hell***
AsTheJayFlies
2024-08-11 03:27:29 +0000 UTCalso yay popsicle hell yes. Popsicles make everything better!
knickknacks
2024-08-11 03:26:03 +0000 UTCI am very tired and not thinking super clearly at the time of posting this, so all I’ll say is: I’ve got a weird relationship with my own femininity, something I’m still figuring out. Topher’s thoughts here absolutely strike some chords. I love Topher and his family so dearly, and knowing that he goes on to be so happy and comfortable in his own skin makes me so happy. Wish I could hug him at this moment nonetheless.
knickknacks
2024-08-11 03:25:10 +0000 UTCMaple looks like she could be Topher’s sister, makes it that much creepier she gets with their DAD, or rather their dad gets her 🐶🔫🤢 some crimes cannot be forgiven you will not see the gates of heaven ect
owlcoholik
2024-08-11 03:24:02 +0000 UTCSorry about that! I don't know too much about these things. I guess my trans friends are “contrarian,” as Topher is like Lop said. They use the same outdated terms, and that “chick with a dick” line was made by one of my friends herself! It was ignorant of me to assume that, especially since it’s tailored to our humor. I think gender-fluid is under the umbrella of Trans, from what I’ve seen. That’s my identity. So when she made that joke, I thought, “So I can be a guy and still like/keep my girls?” I thought that all trans people operated like I do. But no, they’re just as they identify, and I’ll respect that at face value. And yeah, thinking of people by their genitals is creepy and predatory—it’s giving “What’s in your pants?” And I hate that. I will never do it again. Thanks for not being mean about it ♥️
Biscuit
2024-08-11 03:09:32 +0000 UTCHmm, I would say possible dysphoria inducing subject? Could also be non direct missgendering (ik hes not out here but yada yada) Or just dysphoria in general, that's the best wording I can think of atm, for stuff like Topher here getting hit with the big bad "hm. this is bad for me. but i cannot name why" (spoiler: youre a dude, dude). I really really appreciate the subject even being touched on btw, and in such a respectful manner too :"D Trans guys have it rough af, esp in very patriarchal circles 🫂
Jaszczur
2024-08-11 03:08:58 +0000 UTCDang, I'm sorry, I didn't know. :( What trigger warning should I use? And for what topics? This drawing touches on a lot of stuff so I'm not sure which part was triggering, or how to handle it going forward. What would you recommend?
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 03:01:43 +0000 UTCHonestly I prefer your idea that in your universe periods are more open to more species, it makes using patriarchal systems in an anthropomorphic world better understandable with how much sexist ideologies stand on really basic human processes like periods and such at their bare bones. It also really helps me with connecting with the character (oddly enough I had to have a few long reflections on a swing set myself, swing set pondering is underrated lmao)
Tibbles Yorkie789
2024-08-11 02:53:02 +0000 UTCDefinetly not, also better use transgender as transexual can still be viewed as an insult and can only be reclaimed by trans people themself. Tophers male
Jaszczur
2024-08-11 02:48:29 +0000 UTCthink there might need to be a trigger warning for those sorta topics, because this can be quite the sensitive subject for trans men :') but that aside, god this struck way too close to home tophers a real one
Jaszczur
2024-08-11 02:47:03 +0000 UTCI relate to Topher SO MUCH. I don't necessarily consider myself trans, because I'm AFAB and fine with being referred to as she/her, but sometimes... I dunno. I don't want to be perceived as a *woman*. I don't want to be viewed as a sexual, less-empowered thing to pursue. Is that a gender thing (because I might be non-binary/agender?), or a sexuality thing (because I'm ace and sex-neutral?) Like Topher, I'm a punk ass contrarian who was filled with nothing but piss and vinegar as a teen. Getting my first period was TRAUMATIZING. I was at the beach with my mom and grandmother and they said the typical "you're a woman now!" and I was having none of that. I went into the bathroom and cried for hours and sulked for the rest of the trip. I wasn't a woman, I was a 12-year-old burdened with the knowledge that this was going to be my monthly nightmare until menopause.
Corinne Stephenson
2024-08-11 02:46:23 +0000 UTCNo worries love I understood ya loud and clear 💖
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 02:45:11 +0000 UTCThank you so much! That's a good question! Periods are a mammal-only thing in FB. You prompted me to do some reading! Like I knew other animals have estrus cycles, but I didn't know monthly periods are mostly a primate thing, and menstruation as we know it is mostly a human thing. Most other mammals just reasbsorb the lining of their uterus instead of flushing it out like we do. In retrospect, I guess it's weird to give a dog a monthly period, but it also feels weird for dog-people to have a bi-annual heat cycle like irl dogs. Since our Fuzzfolk lean more human than animal, we'll say that they menstruate like humans.
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 02:39:59 +0000 UTCI know you said your not an authority on the matter, but I always like reading these kinds of comments from you, it’s a fresh insight on things I didn’t know too much about! I’ll take my mistakes in stride. I appreciate it!
Biscuit
2024-08-11 02:31:39 +0000 UTCI really like the detail that topher had a strong sense of justice and empathy as a kid. I’m always fascinated by people like that. My close friend grew up very conservative and religious like me, but while she was able to be herself without care to what people thought of her, I crumbled under the pressure and from a young age became someone I don’t recognize anymore. I think it’s really cool to see that sort of diversity shown in your characters. Some of us are toffee, some of us are Topher. Some of us cry, some of us get /angry/ (naturally with a million grey shades in between). And unfortunately way too many of us are honeys lol
D
2024-08-11 02:31:21 +0000 UTCI wish I could physically HYPERBEAM heart emojis at you >:O💥❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥💥
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 02:30:30 +0000 UTCAs someone who is AFAB, but moreso feel genderfluid, I slighty feel how Topher feels to an extent. I don't FULLY feel female, but not male either! I don't want to be some pretty young woman who needs to wear makeup or smile to be pretty. But I don't feel like... too masculine? It's really confusing for me at times... my pronouns are sorta whatever; she/he/they. Sometimes I feel a mix of genders, and packing for trips is HARD because "hmm how will I feel this week? Fem? Masc? Both? Nor? Yes? No?"
Cerulean
2024-08-11 02:30:07 +0000 UTCI've always hated the notion that women have to shave “for hygiene”. Men are *right* there and are never told to strip their skin bare lest they be inherently filthy. Double standards, humans.
Alight
2024-08-11 02:29:00 +0000 UTCI messed up my wording on the first bit- if I ever come off as rude please tell me I have a hard time figuring that stuff out on my own lol. But I just love your writing because it takes the thoughts right out of my mind. I have such bad brain fog and the way you express yourself in your writing is so good and it really helps me find the words for a lot of my feelings. I often go to some of your writing for better understandings of situations. I honestly can’t get enough of your work
Tibbles Yorkie789
2024-08-11 02:25:05 +0000 UTCAhhhh I'm not an authority on this matter. I think it's best to refer to people how they ask to be, and to always aim to treat everyone respectfully and politely, and use neutral language unless you get the go-ahead to do differently. For example, although I identify as queer, I recognize that for some it is a hurtful slur, so I would not default-refer to another human as queer unless it was clear they use and welcome the label. Some of the phrases you used are controversial "transsexual" or just kinda, ehhhh. Tactless and objectifying "chick with a dick". "Transsexual" has a history of being used as a medical term to stigmatize transgender people and label them as mentally ill/sexually deviant. I wouldn't recommend using it unless someone specifically requests you to do so. Some people would VERY much take issue with you using these phrases to refer to them. But of course people are not monoliths, some people (mostly older folk) describe themselves as transsexual, and I'm sure somebody out there might happily call themselves a chick with dick. But "transgender" is the commonly accepted term, and in general it's a good rule not to joke about or refer to people by their genitals, be they cis or trans. Although there is indeed a difference between sex and gender, Topher is not female. He's a man, a trans man. Some transmasc people use AFAB (assigned female at birth) and/or FtM (female to male) as descriptors for themselves, often in a medical context. I describe him with "girl" and "female" in the story because that is how he was perceived, and also, for some time, how he perceived himself. Nonetheless, he's a dude. Topher actually is contrarian enough to refer to himself as a "transsexual menace" sometimes, but Mal describes herself as a trans woman.
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 02:22:21 +0000 UTCFunny that this dropped on the same day I woke up at 5am and read a fanfic that gave me the vocabulary I needed to fully explain my gender identity to myself! Being AFAB, I am fine/accepting of being referred to by the general public as 'she' (they're addressing the body I'm in, what they see) but my heart/soul/essence is the more nebulous 'they'. I'm more they than she, but the two can exist in this same space. Just don't call me 'sir' though, not all deep-voiced buzz cut people are automatically male. D< Social rules are so rigid, it's hard to discover who you are when all this conflicting information is given to you by trusted individuals, I really feel for Toph here.
Blizwolfthewolf
2024-08-11 02:22:03 +0000 UTCI LOVE your writing, I really like the explanations you give and the vocabulary used. Sorry if it’s a weird question, are periods a mammal only thing in this universe, Or is it species wide from their human like anatomy? It kinda made me wonder if expectations or patriarchal values change from species to species if not all of them bleed once a month.
Tibbles Yorkie789
2024-08-11 02:06:45 +0000 UTCIt's funny to read Toph's monologue because...well, I grew up in that space. (Well, sort of. My parents are immigrants and their sense of "womanly" things didn't always match up.) It's also interesting because like...I remember being so *frustrated* by being a girl. It was just so limiting - I can't just take my shirt off when it's hot, I have to deal with bleeding out of my underbits, I had the risk of pregnancy if I had sex (and I never wanted kids) - not to even start in on the other societal bullshit. I think I might have tried to trans my gender if I had been born later, but...tbh I don't care to be a male, either, and surgery is a lot of work and time to go through to get rid of the things I don't like about being a female. I don't feel gender dysphoria or euphoria. It's easier to present as a woman at this point, so I do. I can't empathize with trans/nb kids, but the idea that something bothers you enough to go through all that effort? I can get that. That does bring up the question of how Toph realized that he was trans! I know you mentioned he knew early on, but with the recent change I wonder if he would even be aware of the idea.
Scyllarus
2024-08-11 02:04:38 +0000 UTCI feel like the female version of Topher
MEllegoo
2024-08-11 02:00:19 +0000 UTCHey fam I still have weird gender feelings and it's been like 10 years since I've figured my gender out haha @ tags Yeah ngl Topher story really hits close to home for me cause I left cause I realized the church was hurting people (including me). Especially with the bigoted part cause like I tried to stay Christian and would tell people Jesus would want us to treat minorities better and the older people would tell me I was wrong for being liberal and I'd get into some very heated discussions about it. I happen to be a transdude too but that's just a bonus I stopped shaving at some point after I started learning about feminism and my dad told me I needed to shave my legs if I wanted to find man and it took everything in me not to come out to him that day and say "Well its a good thing I'm a lesbian than". I still laugh every time I think about it.
forthehonor-ofgayskull
2024-08-11 01:53:15 +0000 UTCLOP I am at WORK I can't be spiraling about my own trans experience right now! (This is amazing and I feel like the song Not ready to make nice by the chicks would really help Topher during these formative years, or really anything by them)
Louis Esposito
2024-08-11 01:50:30 +0000 UTCThat would be funny. I don't think I'm transmasc exactly, but my current label, nonbinary, also feels not-quite-right. I actually get misgendered kinda frequently, I guess cuz I'm tall and have a deep voice and wear mostly loose jeans and t-shirts that obscure my tig ol biddies. But it bothers me about the same to be referred to as sir as it does ma'am, like I kinda wish people couldn't perceive me at all, or at least only on my terms. At the same time, my transmasc characters like Perry and Topher are really important to me for reasons I mostly understand, but sometimes don't. Idk, the older I get, the less I seem to know about myself. Maybe the rules are made up and the gender doesn't matter
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 01:46:47 +0000 UTCThanks! Some of what Topher mentions are things that were said to me by my parents. Getting one's first period is honestly painful and alarming, I felt so ashamed I hid it. But my family found out and went "Ohhhh why didn't you tell us you're a woman now!😍" which made me feel DISGUSTING, what a thing to say to a child. An entire identity foisted upon one's self, complete with a distressingly long list of gendered expectations, just because of a little bleeding. Now as a spacy probably-autistic youth I wasn't particularly responsive to pressure to meet arbitrary beauty standards, I mean like fuck was I gonna shave my legs, but in retrospect it's insane how many people, how many adults, how many MEN, commented on them, demanded I shave them, called them ugly, said only lesbians don't shave. Like damn y'all I'm thirteen years old just trying to beat Champion Cynthia can you all back tf off already
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 01:24:37 +0000 UTCHey, hey! I know it is not your responsibility to address these issues, but is it acceptable to say that Topher is female but not a girl? Is that appropriate wording? I understand that it is different for transsexuals, but is it okay if it is gender? My friend and I have an inside joke where whenever someone questions their identity, I say, "She is a chick with dick." Would Mal or Topher say something similar? I figured it would be in their sense of humor.
Biscuit
2024-08-11 01:23:07 +0000 UTC1. Patriarchy is the worst. For real. 2. Maple you are so gorgeous oh my god, but also shit, Topher must have been almost as betrayed as Toffee by Maple being Merry’s mistress… 3. Do you happen to have made yourself a Fuzzbuttsona? I was thinking it’d be cute to see your dog Daisy as a Fuzzbutt, and then I was like huh, would they be like, roommates? Or would she be an adopted daughter or something?
Shaylin A.
2024-08-11 01:18:46 +0000 UTCThank you so much! ❤️ 🥰
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 01:15:46 +0000 UTCDamn this hit me in my angst deep childhood memories! 🥲 You won't believe how much internal misogyny I use to have as a little girl, because even if a man basically scar me for life with trauma, I'm a survivor of childhood SA, it was the women in my life that make my life miserable and make me hate femininity and also victimblaming me, I was like 8 or 10 and they tell me zero words of compassion 🫤. It was like toxic femininity? I don't know the word, it was like my parents never force this ideas of gender to me or my brother, but my relatives make it very loud and clear that I was a girl, a woman so I must submit to what it was my "place", especially female relatives. I never doubted or question my gender but JESUS the hate I use to have for people in general, I judge and look down to other women because of it. Sure men weren't any better but the type of isolation that women make me feel was more brutal and inhumane that my "male friends". It was so confusing, because my parents never make me feel like I was an outcast, they always show me their unconditional love&care, and then go to school, the outside in general and then have everyone tell you that you are existing wrong, that you aren't a real woman, that I wasn't worth even a little of respect or compassion. I relate so much with your character, his anger and sence of justice is what speak to me, all my life people demonize my feeling and ideas, saying that were too sensitive, too childish, that is just how things are so I must stop whining and accept it, so is nice to see this. And I'm with you there's so many ways to express our womanhood, all are valid.
MiyaTheGoldenFlower
2024-08-11 01:15:18 +0000 UTCShe is. A good popsicle can turn a shitty day around tbh
Lopoddity
2024-08-11 01:10:21 +0000 UTCAawww hun... Gahd, this is so relatable. Poor little Toph.
pookaWOODS
2024-08-11 01:07:57 +0000 UTCI want to give Topher such a big fucking hug and tell him everything will be ok Honestly I haven’t committed much on Topher and his sibling’s religious trauma because it hits far too close to home but I’m very happy and grateful you’re giving characters like him a voice I am a SA survivor and a lot of my “experiences” happened with men in the church that were supposed to protect me and preached every Sunday about God’s love and it left me so tainted to the whole thing. Topher’s experience might be a little different then mine but the overall theme is the same where people tell you who you are expected to be and God forbid you’re anything to the expectation or dare to say “hey that’s NOT me” I’m not transgender but I feel like a lot of our experiences in the transgender:/religious gay community are very similar. I love Topher and his family’s story so much. It has been extremely healing to hear about him figuring out who he is and also finds family and friends who completely love and accept him as he is So thank you for that, love 💕. I’m so proud and happy you’ve turned your creativeness into a safe place for all queer people
Heather
2024-08-11 01:02:31 +0000 UTCOh Topher 💔 beautiful as always lop. You always put so much love and realism into your storylines, and blow me away time and time again.
RagingRiptide
2024-08-11 00:55:54 +0000 UTCOh Maple, you have no idea how right you are!
Emily Lemur
2024-08-11 00:54:25 +0000 UTCalso the way topher's words on getting his first period almost exactly mirrored mine has me dead like You Hit The Nail On The Head with that one
Shield
2024-08-11 00:49:56 +0000 UTCOooof. It’s so rough seeing Maple being close with Toffee and Topher, and seeing her being so optimistic, knowing what becomes of her and her relationships… Also, I really love the bright colors in this and the contrast between Topher and Maple’s body language!
three thousand spiders wearing a trenchcoat
2024-08-11 00:49:45 +0000 UTCreading your tags and seeing as your art was instrumental in little baby 12 yr old me realizing i was transgender like 9 years ago it would be pretty funny if you went full throttle into a transmasc arc
Shield
2024-08-11 00:48:21 +0000 UTC
