A Serious Talk

Christine didn’t think she’d ever been more uncomfortable in her life.

She was uncomfortable when she was with Kevin, but it was a completely different kind of discomfort. That kind made butterflies flutter in her chest and warmth travel to her cheeks. This made her insides squirm like a bunch of worms were wiggling around inside of her intestines.

I need to say something, but what should I say? Should I apologize? How would that even work? I can’t see something like, “I’m sorry you heard me talking with Jessica. It’s all true, but let’s still be friends.” working here.

“Nyo, it definitely won’t.”

Please don’t say anything right now.

It was a really screwed up predicament that she was in. Did anyone else have to deal with this crap? She didn’t think so.

Ugh! Come on, Christine! Just say something!

She took a deep breath.

“So…” she started.

“Listen I…” Lindsay began.

They stared at each other awkwardly.

“You go first,” they said at the same time.

… More silence.

“A-about what happened with Jessica…” Christine said.

“You don’t have to explain,” Lindsay interrupted. “I-I get it. You don’t like me. I understand.”

“Don’t interrupt someone when you don’t even know what they’re going to say,” Christine snapped. “I do like you, just not… like that. I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but I’m straight. I’m not into girls.”

“So things would be different if I had a dick?” Lindsay muttered bitterly.

“P-probably not,” Christine admitted.

“Why? Because I’m not Kevin?”

Christine blushed, but she forced herself not to overreact. This was important. Her friendship was on the line, so she couldn’t afford to let her embarrassment get the best of her.

“Yes… but it’s not in the way that I think you’re thinking, so let me explain before you say anything, okay?”

Lindsay crossed her arms, as if bracing for impact. Christine closed her eyes. This was the heart of the issue right here. She needed to be honest.

“Yuki-onna are an odd species. There are two things about us that have always held true. The first is that yuki-onna are only ever women. You’ll never find a male yuki-onna. Ever. The second is that we need humans to produce children. It’s normally impossible to produce a child with a yokai. I say normally because I’m proof that yuki-onna can have children with other yokai. I’ve also heard of some other children besides myself occasionally being born between yuki-onna and another yokai, but not only are they rare, they are always and without exception exiled.”

“Were you exiled?” asked Lindsay suddenly.

“I guess.” Christine shrugged. “I grew up in an orphanage, so I’m pretty sure I was abandoned.”

Lindsay said nothing, perhaps because she had nothing to say and knew that an apology would only piss her off.

Christine stared at her drink. The next part that she was going to talk about was something that no one else knew--not even Lilian, Kevin, or Iris.

“Because we are a clan of all women, we cannot mate with our own species. We need human men, as I have said. Of course, this means that all yuki-onna are born straight. There is no such thing as a lesbian Yuki-onna. Furthermore, Yuki-onna birth rates are extraordinarily low. Only certain human males have the ability to successfully produce offspring with us. I don’t know exactly what makes one man more capable of reproducing than another. All I know is what Orin told me.”

Christine paused. She wasn’t used to speaking for so long, and she was out of breath. This was also an embarrassing topic.

Really, the things I do for my friends…

“When yuki-onna come of age, they are sent into the world to find and bring home a man. It’s sort of like a coming of age ceremony, I guess. Each yuki-onna has a different idea on what makes the ideal man. However, there is one thing that never changes between us. Our bodies tell us when someone is fit… t-to reproduce with us…”

Christine flushed heavily as she continued talking. She could feel her face turning both hot and cold as both sides of her became embarrassed. Lindsay looked bemused.

“I… I don’t think I understand…”

“I-it’s hard to explain. It’s like… like a soul mate… kinda… I mean, they’re not really our soul mate, but they’re kinda like our soul mate because we can have a kid with them. And so your body starts to get all hot and t-t-t-tingly… it’s like… and ha… I mean…”

“Christine… there’s steam coming out of your head.”

“Look, j-just shut up!” Christine was feeling dizzy. Her entire body felt like a furnace that had been stuck on top of Mount Everest. “I-I’m aware of what’s happening to my own body! I-I-I--”

“Woah, woah! Easy, I get it.” Lindsay raised her hands in a placating gesture. “I understand, so you can just relax now.”

Christine did relax. She slumped face first onto the table. Her body shuddered from exhaustion. Who knew telling someone all that could be so embarrassing!

“So… Kevin,” Lindsay started, “he’s kind of like… seriously the only one for you, huh? If you want to have kids, I mean.”

Christine flushed. “I-it’s a bit more complicated than that. Basically, t-the body, heart, and mind of a yuki-onna are one. I-if the body doesn’t accept someone, then the heart and mind won’t either… something like that.”

Lindsay frowned into her drink, brows furrowing as she thought this through. Finally…

“So… Kevin… he’s the only one for you then?”

Sitting up and covering her face with her hands, Christine said, “There might be other people out there who give me the same reaction, but Orin once told me that the chances of me ever finding someone who my yuki-onna and bakeneko sides will both accept is about one in seven billion.”

There were seven billion people on earth. While that made it sound like Orin saying there might be one person out there, that was actually inaccurate. About a billion or so of those people were yokai.

“I see…” Lindsay blew out a deep breath. “Those are long odds. You know that Kevin is with Lilian, right?”

“He’s also sleeping with Iris.”

Christine still didn’t know what she was going to do about Kevin. She wasn’t lying when she said he was likely the only person she would ever love. While she didn’t want to use the term Soul Mate, it was true that Kevin had already been imprinted on her body, heart, and soul. Even if someone else who was compatible with her miraculously appeared, she didn’t think she would be able to accept them.

“That is true… and with how much he’s changed, you might very well be able to join his… harem.” Lindsay wrinkled her nose. “I can’t believe I actually said that.”

“I can’t either,” Christine admitted wryly--before the situation hit her and she suddenly became self-conscious again. “So, um, are we friends again?”

Lindsay’s reassuring smile made her feel a lot better. “We never stopped being friends. Just because we fight occasionally doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore.”

Unbidden, Christine felt her entire body relax. “Thank you. I’m glad for that… and I’m sorry for, you know, what happened and stuff.”

“There’s no need for that. In fact, I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have run away after hearing you talk to Jessica.”

“Speaking of Jessica, you know that she likes you, right?”

“Well, of course. She’s my friend.”

Christine felt a vein throb on her forehead. “No, you idiot! I don’t mean like that. She likes you the way that you said you like me.”

Lindsay paused. Her eyes were wide. “Wait. Really?”

“You mean you didn’t know? What kind of idiot are you?”

“But she never gave any signs that she liked me!”

“Maybe you just didn’t see them.” Christine shrugged. “She told me that she likes you. The whole reason she asked me about my feelings for you is because she was jealous.”

“Oh…” Lindsay pressed a hand to her face. “I really am an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you are, but considering who I… l-love, I think we’re all a bunch of idiots.”

“Heh, you actually admitted that you love Kevin,” Lindsay teased with a grin.

“I-it’s not like I haven’t confessed to him already. Shut up,” Christine muttered. She tried to hide her blush by drinking her hot chocolate. It didn’t work.