A question about my story

Thank you for saying so. I thought Lin might become many people's favorite. I have the most fun writing for her too.

I love it and had to join your Patreon to read more. I love Lin the most but all of your characters are great.

Cryostorm

I just found something that i would find funny. Instead of a slime scene where they get covered in slime and it eats thier clothing, it would be funnier to make Kari flip out and blast the things into particles of light before anything happens. Then having done that seeing someone be disappointed about it! It's a good excuse to smash that cliché of the list! Lol. I'm just using that as an example of a cliché smashing chapter though, anything like that I find awesome!

Chris Turney

Thank you!

I love it so far, Erik is a total bad ass this time around, and freaking fay is super awesome! I can hardly wait to reach more, and I hope the people here will start to like and comment when they read your story, since it's easy and only takes two seconds *hint hint* PS the total time it took me to write this up to the ps was 6 seconds. I timed it, so you guys know good easy it is

Chris Turney

Don't get me wrong, Kari is a good girl and a badass warrior in Erik's past but her current self doesn't click to much with what we learn of her the protagonist's dreams. Fay is more vivacious, determined and loveable. Even though the two girls situation seems the same. I can't wait for you to develop them.

Iori Daemona Angel

Thanks for letting me know what you thought. I feel kinda bad for Kari since everyone seems to like Fay more, but I'm glad I made a good character.

I think the story is good, you kinda hinted that things are going on in the background, a force weakened the city by killing their alchemists guild and the spiritualists are weaker. Something also tell me that Grant's family is also implicated in the downfall of the family in Erik's past. Oh and I really like the Harem so far, Fay best girl.

Iori Daemona Angel

Alas my only suggestion at the moment is delayed by the pesky plot :P

rykott

Thank you! It's nice hearing about all the things you like! If you ever have a suggestion for the story, feel free to let me know whenever you comment on a chapter. I'm trying to improve the quality of my writing.

Loving it so far. Eryk is great. He's a protagonist that knows what he needs to do and is working hard to make sure he can. Past Kari is adorable. Her characters has started growing from the sheltered Princess since meeting Eryk. Future Kari is a badass sex kitten who kicks ass and sexes her man like a hellcat ;D Fay is probably my favorite Waifu at the moment... just. She works hard, doesn't let things get her down for long, knows what she want and works for it. She won't take no for an answer. The Zettai Ryouiki she seems to employ on-top of her large assets also help ;D We don't know a whole lot about Lin yet. She is great though. The third person talking gives her an adorable, amusing arrogance that I find great. Overall I like the fact Eryk isn't some weak wishy-washy protagonist. He's working hard to fix things in the past but he also has issues in that he was sheltered back then and actually doesn't know much about what was going on. Grant obviously needs to die. I have no doubt that will be satisfying. Bitch ass punk is trying to take two of the waifu's for himself. The only major issue I have with it is the wait ;D But I have that issue with everything I enjoy. And the ones I don't have to wait for are over and and that's another issue.

rykott

I'm glad you're liking it so far. I hope to get a lot more for it soon.

As far as i read its amazing i still need to catch back up though missed a decient amount

So I need to kill off Grant. Good to know. :3

Good things: Cool power system Resourceful protagonist Waifus Bad things: Die Grant die (though this one is probably intentional)

Arthur V.