Noah Caldwell-Gervais

Where Are the Videos?

Added 2024-12-13 03:21:07 +0000 UTC

It’s been several months since I had a video complete for the channel, and I want to give everyone an update on what’s going on with that. I am having one of the most difficult seasons of my life and I am continuing to work through it. There’s just a lot of backup and delay.

Back in the summer, I actually had a major mental health breakthrough and was feeling better than I have in many years. I was feeling really prepared and optimistic about my content. After the Shadow of the Erdtree video, I figured I had bought myself a month or two to work on my horror novel and finish it before Halloween. I was still about a hundred pages short on the final edit around the middle of the month. There is a full complete draft, I’ve even worked with an editor to get the final draft tight and clean it up, but I knew I wasn’t going to make the deadline. So I pivoted back to my channel, feeling like I had a great head start on finishing a short little Halloween video on Cult of the Lamb and the Pacific Drive video, plus a longer video with a new/remastered Dragon Age retrospective similar to how I redid the Fallout video from scratch. It was the absolute best I had ever been set up for the fall and winter.

Then my mother, who I hadn’t spoken to in twelve years, went into Hospice care. I had to go to San Diego for a week, had car trouble, was stranded in Oregon for another week. She died a week after I got back to Seattle. I don’t want to get too deep into it, but this was the absolute most emotionally complicated and devastating thing I’ve ever had to personally deal with. I was content, during those twelve years, not to think about all the childhood trauma I experienced and how difficult it was to be around her. Suddenly, I found myself having to confront all of that, ethically justify it, and find a way to forgive her and say goodbye during her last lucid weeks. It was impossible for me to write and finish projects while I was travelling during this time, and then when I got back I still struggled throughout most of November with extreme depression and grief. All of the mental health progress I had made over the summer was stress-tested to the absolute breaking point. I think if this had happened a year ago, I would have completely imploded. It has been the worst I have felt in my entire adult life, and the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.

In October, I was already a little behind. I got sick and lost a week a voice recording. I have tried in the back half of November and now through the first couple weeks of December to get back on track, and I have actually gotten a large amount of work done. But I’m sick again, putting me behind again, even worse than before. I am doing everything I can to wrap up what I’d promised throughout the year and not yet delivered on. I just no longer know if I can do it in time. It’s so god damn ironic, because at the beginning of October I kind of thought I was on track for having one of the better output years I’ve had recently. Now it’s trending towards the worst.

I realize that, in a certain way, this is an excuse and there is no such thing as an excuse in a business relationship. I have failed to deliver. I am trying to be accountable for that. I’ll honor any refund requests people feel they need to make because of how badly I’ve fumbled this back half of the year. I am doing my best, I am working every day for as long as I am able, I am not doing anything or taking any time recreationally, I am solely focused on getting something done for the channel before the year is out. However, I thought it would be insulting to just put out some small half hour video that was supposed to be for Halloween all the way here in December, so I feel like it’s important to complete the big project before the smaller ones. I am getting very close. But with only two weeks left I feel it’s a real possibility that I will miss the mark and it will tick over into January.

I understand if people are feeling disappointed and angry, I am disappointed and angry with myself for letting things get to this point. I am lucky to even have this job, and it is important to me to live up to the expectations people have. This has just been kind of an unprecedented time that I had no way to predict. My mother did not choose to disclose to me that she had cancer until it was far too late. The fact that I actually connected with her at all is a strange and small miracle. I don’t know what I could have done differently or better, besides possibly not choosing to work on my novel during August and September, but it is agonizingly close to being done and I wanted so badly to push it over that line. I had even realized that wasn’t going to happen and pivoted back to fulfilling the channel responsibilities I had. And then this all happened. And I am still not doing okay at all.

This is, obviously, no one’s problem but mine. I owe you work. I am doing the work. But it isn’t done and despite my best efforts to force the train back on the tracks, January is coming up so fast that I can’t even believe it. I am not just taking the money and doing fuck-all. I have had the worst season of my adult life and I am doing my best.

My hope is that people are willing to understand and accept this. I am not far off from getting everything done this month, I am just deeply concerned and trying to let people know ahead of time that I am behind, I am struggling, but I am working. If circumstances hadn’t been so awful and unusual, I would have had a ton of shit done already. If you are willing to have patience, I appreciate it, but otherwise I can only direct people to the refund policy. Whatever you have put in, I can pull you out again, although after the past months I am very tapped out and it might need to wait until January to process refunds of over $300 or so. I have already processed a refund for over $500 this month, however, so I have some proof that I will make good on this promise if asked.

On a smaller note, I am no longer using Twitter although I am maintaining the account to prevent people from making an imposter account. I haven't really been using it much yet, and won't until the work is done, but I have a Bluesky account instead which can be found at: https://bsky.app/profile/noahgervais.bsky.social

Hope to have your videos done before January,

Noah

Comments

Hey Noah. I too had a rough time with my mom, particularly her homophobic bent of christianity, and this past christmas I suddenly had to come home and clean up the mess she'd made because she'd hidden her demetia from all of us. She'd turned away from that side of the church years ago and has been as supportive as she could be for the past quarter century, but that was still there, in my mind, but now with hers broken, her lucidity gone forever, it meant I had to let it go too. Anyway. Your videos make me want to be a better writer. Watching your channel gave me the confidence to do my own videos, in my own style of course, but I really appreciate you making these. I never question the couple of bucks I send you a month, I send you those because I like your work and I know you'll do your best. I do my best too to make mine, even if they sometimes take months when I'm feeling down or when my job is crazy. And mine are a quarter the length of some of yours. Anyway. Please don't beat yourself up, I know it's hollow to say that, but I get it.

Bears in Games Neo

2025-04-08 07:53:35 +0000 UTC

Noah, i’m commenting on an old post to let you know that my partner was just singing kim petras and i told them “you’re like the nonbinary noah gervais.” i hope that brings you some small amount of pleasure.

Spencer White

2025-04-05 23:24:33 +0000 UTC

Hi Noah. I'm sorry to hear all of this. I was not upset to see a gap in content, more upset to see that you are struggling in a way that I know all too well. You have been a softly lit lantern in the dark and lonely roads of my life and I am happy to contribute my measly $10 a month, and I will continue to do so for as long as this website exists, even if you never release a video again. If there's anything more I can do for you, please let me know. Please do not feel rushed to make content at the expense of your personal life or your mental health. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your effort. Thank you for being yourself. Your videos have given me so much over the last decade that I have been watching them. I appreciate you.

Robert Wagner

2025-03-05 02:50:16 +0000 UTC

Unfortunately I can't afford to pay the whole 10 bucks, but even with a small contribution I hope to say thank you for your already existing hard work. As a person who's been disabled for almost 3 years now - you've helped me fill plenty of time during my lonely meals. From the bottom of my heart - thank you and take care of yourself first and foremost. Take your time.

Nicolae Cepoi

2025-02-27 17:10:09 +0000 UTC

Hi Noah. Regarding "being a patron of the arts" vis a vis Patreon, and the relationship of audience to artist: it has always been my feeling that supporting artists on a personal level is not a transaction -- I support artists because I love the arts and it gives me great pleasure and a feeling of well-being to contribute in some small way to the survival and livelihood of artists whose work I admire. I think this is an attitude that everyone ought to cultivate in themselves, not just because it helps to retain the pure joy of enjoying someone's art without feeling like you must in some way be "getting your money's worth," or whatever. All of this is to say: go at your own pace. Those of us who admire your work will not forget about you. With deep affection and admiration, Loveday Robijn.

Loveday Robijn

2025-02-26 10:42:25 +0000 UTC

I just noticed the post after hearing of the loss of your mother in your Dragon Age video. I think it's important to state that for many of us, we are not in a business relationship. We are supporters. I hope you received the suport you needed and thanks for communicating.

Mecanimus

2025-02-17 13:00:45 +0000 UTC

Ayo. I use adblock, so I guess paying 10$ on patreon will be more of a contribution than youtube watchtime. I have really enjoyed your works since 2023 and I have listened to your Lincoln Highway and Red Dead Videos multiple times (they're just so large and there's always new favourite parts to rediscover). Thank you!

Ferdinand

2025-02-11 22:39:03 +0000 UTC

I cannot talk for others, but at least for myself no part of the "business contract" has been "broken". I don't follow your work for a content mill, I follow it for well thought out and insightful content that takes time to make but is so good that I can always just revisit your older content. Why I just went through all of your videos last December for fun, not even out of impatience. Business talk aside, please be kind to yourself, no need to kick yourself while you're already down.

Dun Skeith

2025-02-07 11:41:41 +0000 UTC

lost my dad to cancer in 2024 and had several negative mental health episodes... but 2025 is a new year, new me and things are looking up. i hope the same for us both! lets do it!

Jesse Mills

2025-01-31 07:27:20 +0000 UTC

Noah, even if you made one video a decade it would still be worth it.

Keegan Little

2025-01-31 05:48:34 +0000 UTC

There are hundreds of things I have said before and want to say again (I support you to support an artist; not prepurchase a commodity, I think your voice betters the understanding of video games and narrative as much as Barthes did other texts, you are a human and deserve rest and play as much as you are allowed to crave creative endeavours.) and I hope your other fans say them to you as well. I am only a little into the Dragon Age Retrospective, and it is so far insightful, enjoyable, humorous and filled with an understanding and love for a series that I love too. You help me better understand it. I will rewatch this for years to come. Thank you.

James Woodman

2025-01-30 22:35:31 +0000 UTC

New video droppe today! Huzzah! Noah, I hope you are doing better. Best wishes as always, Collin

Collin Stoltz

2025-01-30 17:51:13 +0000 UTC

hey Noah -- I just wanted you to know that I had a very similar 2024, but without the pressures of content creation. (I had recently worked on my mental health / gotten medication for OCD, and then 6 months later my mom who I had a difficult relationship with died suddenly. Funnily (?) she had worked the past 15 years in Hospice, but never actually went on it). At my bougie corpo job, I got to take 3 weeks of paid time off with no question, and then a two months of short term disability paid leave without draining my remaining pto, and then transferred to a less-stressful department when I got back. Everyone has treated me with kid gloves because they know it's been a difficult process. I hope you understand that just because your job is different than mine, it doesn't mean you don't deserve the same grace and care. I hope 2025 treats us more kindly :-) Love your work so much ! Please take care of yourself ! I'm very excited to watch the Dragon Age video

Lena Whittaker

2025-01-30 16:53:30 +0000 UTC

Hey, as long as you're still making content I'm good with however long I have to wait. Most of my favorite authors usually take forever to update... but it's usually worth the wait~!!!

Jam-Man265

2025-01-14 10:02:38 +0000 UTC

My brother, please just take care of yourself. We know you care about accountability, but people can stop subbing for a while if it doesn't suit them. Your work is the best going and you're a great dude. Hopefully you can feel better soon and we look forward to a video, whenever they come

David Jackson

2025-01-12 17:55:09 +0000 UTC

Dear Noah, As a long-time viewer, I have wanted to write directly to you for years now to express genuine gratitude and admiration for your work and its inspiration for creating a meaningful vocation out of something you love. I am so sorry that, instead, I am finally writing to express my condolences for this devastating loss. Having supported sister when her father died several years ago, I unfortunately know that words don't hold a candle to mere presence, and also how years of unresolved abuse can lead us to question what we ought to even feel, ought to have done... For what it is worth, I am grateful for your part that you could reconnect with your mother in some way — whatever the outcome — and hope you can find some comfort and meaning in having done so. Your work ethic and dedication to your craft is something I and many others admire you for, but just as all work carries responsibility, so too does the community around it bring empathy and compassion. I hope our collective voices can lighten the burden of frustration and obligation you may be feeling and in its place, offer only unconditional support as you learn to live without her and with all she has left behind. Thank you for trusting us with your honesty. As much as a stranger on the other side of the world can, I am holding it with care and with love. Luka

Luka Dreyer

2025-01-12 11:21:15 +0000 UTC

Take your time and give yourself some grace for surviving a harsh time. Cheers, and take care of yourself.

Alistair Struck

2025-01-11 07:26:28 +0000 UTC

My condolences, and I'm sorry for the toll it's taken on you. Not the most mentally/emotionally healthy person in the world myself these days. For all it's worth, the work you do contextualizing some of my favorite art will always be worth some of my money regardless of the frequency of your output when I can afford it, and I'm really excited to read your book whenever you feel up to finishing it.

M1nd Fl4y3r

2025-01-10 03:04:48 +0000 UTC

I tried to comment on this and was blocked because apparently I was only subscribed on the free tier. Whoops! Fixed that right up. Love your work. Take your time.

Joe Schafer

2025-01-06 18:13:08 +0000 UTC

Just this post, essay, article, letter to us all is enough for now. Your videos are awesome and I'm always happy to wait for the next one. More importantly, it's ok. My family has been through some similar circumstances over the last few years and it's hard. You've got this.

Andrew Linke

2025-01-06 16:12:40 +0000 UTC

Death is one of the hardest barriers we face as living beings, even more so when it involves someone with whom we share a complex and difficult relationship. In my own life, your work gave me hours of solace during the pain of losing someone suddenly and far too soon. Reading through these comments, I see similar stories of hardship reflected by so many others. You’ve helped us. We’ll be here when you are ready.

Primrose

2025-01-05 09:58:56 +0000 UTC

Apparently I've already watched your Diablo Retrospective yet remember nothing. I think the new videos can wait.

Niltimes2

2025-01-02 19:04:57 +0000 UTC

Hey yall this is my first comment since subscribing. it’s something i can afford now and Noah your videos have been a great source of entertainment and comfort for me for far too long for me to not start paying you. take all of the time you need and i’m wishing the best for you.

TreeVeins_ForrestEyes

2024-12-30 14:49:43 +0000 UTC

Take all the time you fucking need. Seriously. You don’t owe me shit, I give money to fund your art, and rushed art sucks, especially when you’re suffering.

BoogersBoogersBoogersBoogersBoogersBoogers

2024-12-29 19:27:20 +0000 UTC

giving one of my favorite living writers $10 a month is something i do to support you and not to get something out of it. i would get the videos for free at the same time if i wanted. take ur time and do it when u can! most of us can empathize with having bad months and bad years. no pressure from me ever!!!

Gianni

2024-12-28 06:50:58 +0000 UTC

Having found your channel around this time last year but due to my work schedule and i never really got to invest in your content. But with the recent birth of my daughter and the time off i have from work i found myself being up all night and with hours to take care of her and wait for her to wake up, i have vehemently consumed your content. You have shown me that i really enjoy the insight and long-form work you put into your videos. Having tried and can not get myself to enjoy the souls games, you videos allowed me to enjoy what i wanted out of them, the lore and beauty of the worlds. i find you myself today having found your patreon and decided that i need to fund your art. Thats what this is, Art with a capital "A". i hate what you are going through and but it seems that you are doing your best and i hope that you know that even though you may never meet any of these people who help fund your life, you are loved and cared for. you have a fan here who doesnt care about your timely deliveries, but only wants you to have a good life and not have to worry about the grind. Take care and thanks for all the content. i am eager to hear about your new book when it comes out. all the best!

Josh Coker

2024-12-25 17:51:59 +0000 UTC

I am glad that you had built up the mental reserves to be able to cope with saying goodbye to your mum, when that's so hard even without the complexities of estrangement and resentments. This has been a shitty year for a lot of people, and I absolutely understand you needing to take time to get things in order, creatively, personally, emotionally and medically. Take care of yourself, both because your work is valuable to us and it doesn't happen without you, but of course also because you're a person, and that's an important thing to be. Please don't run yourself ragged for us; your art and your life will be better for it.

Benj

2024-12-25 12:24:47 +0000 UTC

Sorry about your mom, Noah. Losing a parent is tough. Glad to hear your mental health was there.

MrBrown

2024-12-21 01:11:24 +0000 UTC

Nothing I can say will be meaningful enough to reach you. Just want to say that I see and hear your pain, I have respect for it. I had a somewhat similar experience 2 years ago. At that time all I could hope for was, that through openness, my employer would be understanding without seeing me as weak and disposable. Sadly, both were true. I hope to communicate that I would never want to do this to another person. I align myself with what others have said: I am a patron, not an employer. I'm not your friend, but para-social or not, I respect you. You've given me more than I can ever give you in return, in terms of the currency of the mind/spirit. It almost feels disingenuous to express this through patronage. One thing's for sure though, as long as I am able, I will continue to back you and cheer you on. Wishing you strength on your journey. I know we all travel alone, but I'm one of those who waves at you with a smile, as you drive by on your road that connects birth and death.

Yony42

2024-12-19 21:53:55 +0000 UTC

I am really sorry to hear that you've had to endure so much. I only know you through your work on these videos, but it seemed like you had a difficult and complicated relationship with your mother. "I am sorry for your loss" feels like nothing but words from me, but I know nothing else I can offer except my continued support for your work. If you feel like your work doesn't have an impact on people's lives, I assure you it does. It's made me reflect on my relationships with my family and take more active care of myself before I wear myself out caring for others, again. It makes me want to get out and explore the world more. It makes me appreciate just how goddamn hard it is to create new stories or works of art - even when you are experienced. I don't know if exercise and/or meditation help you, but they do help me to center myself when I am overdoing it. Maybe they can help you too?

Megabyte01

2024-12-19 18:35:55 +0000 UTC

Most people here have said already what I was coming here to say, so I'll go straight to point: I am not a patron of the arts the see the artist work himself to death. Please do take the time you need. I, and many many other, will be here when the next day-long thing drops.

SpaceSjut

2024-12-19 18:00:12 +0000 UTC

You're a cool guy, Noah. I know you get paid to make these videos, but there are excuses because this ain't no business relationship - no one's making me pay and I can click off button whenever I like. I think you owe it to yourself to give yourself a break, you're a great guy and it's hard to read you being self-critical so unjustly when you're clearly in the midst of processing something quite abnormal and quite hard. Look forward to your next video, be it tomorrow, a month, or longer. Get healthy.

Alex Jordan

2024-12-19 09:34:24 +0000 UTC

Dear Mr. Caldwell-Gervais, I appreciate the update, and I wish to express my condolences for the loss of your mother. I am fortunate enough to still have my parents around at time of writing, so I understand that I cannot fathom the depths of your grief. Nevertheless, I do know that it must be excruciating. I would also like to say that it has always been my understanding that no matter what level of patronage you may be subject to, no amount of money could ever justify forcing someone to work in such conditions as you have disclosed. I have a private belief that good art can't be forced, and I hope that you take as much time as you need to process and recover from these events in your life. Please put your own mental health first. I hope you continue to work on the things that you love, and that you share your passions with the world. I have always found your commentary informative, funny, and profound. You also have a very soothing voice, and I hope you will forgive me for using your videos as a sleeping aid from time to time. (I want to clarify that your videos are NOT boring, there's just something about the rhythm, pattern, and tone of your speech that just knocks me right out.) Thank you for your time and work. It is greatly appreciated.

Elijah King

2024-12-18 11:29:19 +0000 UTC

Hi Noah. I love your work and just wanted to let you know, to be honest I didn’t even notice there was a delay lol. I trust your integrity and deeply appreciate your quality, so I figured it takes the time that it takes. I think it speaks to your character that you feel this intensely about it. I’ll echo the few hundred others here in expressing support to set the weight aside and focus your energy on your family and your health. We’ll be here. On a more personal note—while you and I are strangers, I can tell you I empathize with much of your challenges you describe in this last season, and my heart goes out to you man. I’ve found a lot of inspiration in your path as a writer and creator, and I sincerely hope the support everyone here is expressing is encouraging and reaffirming to you.

Time to Patreon

2024-12-17 19:52:30 +0000 UTC

You owe us little enough; taking care of yourself absolutely, positively must come before any productive work is even possible. What it sounds like you've been through would be trying for anyone, and we can only respect your candidness with us. There is, for sure, a difference between an explanation and an excuse, but I--and I'm sure many others--have felt worry for you enough that this suffices perfectly well for both. Rest and reflect as long as you need. We're all still here for you.

aquaticko

2024-12-17 04:01:32 +0000 UTC

If there's any expectation of our "business" relationship, it's that you continue to emphasize quality over quantity in your work. There's literally thousands of other venues where we can get the opposite. I and I'm sure most of us continue to support because you're one of the vanishingly few creators who actually gives a damn. Keep doing that and we're square.

Matthew Zehnder

2024-12-16 18:35:50 +0000 UTC

patreon payments for me are like small marriage vows and they are for good and bad times. take my money and do your thing when youre feeling better. you will get through this

Hieronymusgoa

2024-12-16 11:42:00 +0000 UTC

I would do the same but I’m too broke to increase my pledge, so I just wanted to say that you’re a fucking saint.

Jim cjucag

2024-12-15 20:02:08 +0000 UTC

Noah, you don’t owe me or anyone else shit. I obviously can’t speak for anyone else, but I support you not because I expect continual, punctual content to be produced from the content mill but because I respect you as an artist and as a person, because I have watched and re-watched and re-re-re-rewatched your videos and I will continue to do so until I go deaf or die. I support you because, in contrast to the amount of meaning that your art has introduced to my life, a $10 pledge is nothing. I would continue supporting you if even if you never released another video and your channel died. I, and likely many others, are here on Patreon for you, not for a business exchange of capital for content. Thank you for all the amazing art you’ve created over the years and please take care of yourself.

Jim cjucag

2024-12-15 19:59:18 +0000 UTC

> I owe you work Fuck that. Patreon, to me, is a way to make sure that you have the room to do things that aren't financially sound and still be able to continue making videos. Things like grieving your mother. That's why I'm here. You don't get to decide that I'm a customer who is paying for a product you aren't producing. Maybe this is a cultural difference, I'm not from USA, but that's such a deeply gross way of seeing it in my opinion. My money is meant to go towards making sure you have a good life - one where making videos can reasonably be a priority. I don't demand that it's always your top priority, that would be a disgusting thing to do in my opinion. Also, I don't care about you uploading another video this year. Please enjoy the holidays (as much as you can), and please don't burn yourself out for something so nebulous.

Mojken

2024-12-15 10:12:05 +0000 UTC

My condolences, take your time, but I hope you consider dropping your refund policy, I and many others consider what we give to you donations, and attempting to attache to it expectation/demand of content is clearly unhealthy for both parties, as aways take care of yourself first Noah you don't owe us anything.

LAGisnotRAD

2024-12-15 07:22:26 +0000 UTC

As far as supporting you, I’m a lifer, Noah. Take care.

Matt Lawrence

2024-12-15 02:07:33 +0000 UTC

Reading this is what got me to donate. I’ve loved all your videos, found your writing funny and insightful, and I feel the need to show you with money that I care, and that you shouldn’t feel a need to push yourself or force the work when you’re in a state of grief. I hope you can find it within yourself to rest, and to give yourself some grace. You wouldn’t demand more from someone else in your circumstance, so don’t ask it of yourself.

Bob Goodrich

2024-12-14 09:52:50 +0000 UTC

I'd continue donating even if you took a five - year break! Take care of yourself.

Dennis Scott

2024-12-14 07:24:35 +0000 UTC

I’m so sorry, Noah. Wishing you the best—your videos are always worth the wait :)

Thomas Calder

2024-12-14 04:28:42 +0000 UTC

I'm sorry that you're going through such hard times, and wish you the best as you navigate them. You have my understanding and support.

Scott adamsthefirst

2024-12-14 02:19:24 +0000 UTC

FWIW, I pay you tributes, not advances — largely because your takes on things have been oddly and uniquely therapeutic during my own shitty times. You don’t owe me anything and I hope you spend my part on whatever pleases you.

Giant Steps

2024-12-14 02:18:03 +0000 UTC

I'm sorry that you've been having such a hard time. Take all the time you need to recover.

Primm Slim

2024-12-13 21:49:06 +0000 UTC

Sorry you’ve had to (and continue to) go through such an awful time. Easy for me to say, but, please take care of yourself as best you can

Ian Campbell

2024-12-13 21:46:53 +0000 UTC

Noah, as always when I get one of these emails I just want to give you a hug. The answer is the same. Breathe in, breathe out. We know you're good for it. The Patreon money is thrown ritualistically into the well each month simply to support and ensure the existence of more Noah Caldwell-Gervais-type art in this world. It's kind of a cargo cult ritualistic thing. Money goes in, occasionally stuff like a mind-blowing 7 hour RE retrospective or a drive across the USA on the Lincoln Highway comes out. Is there a pattern? A transaction? Are the kami satiated by my actions? Who knows. Whatever comes from this is out of my control. No compulsion is implied or required. You are the man with the most obvious integrity in this whole YouTube mangrove swamp. Take the time you need - rest, mourn, re-focus. It is right and correct to do so. My wife and I will continue chucking nickels in the well and waiting (mostly) with contented curiosity each week to see if the Noah Fairy will bring Pacific Drive commentary along with the mail. I know it will happen some day because it is the most goddamn Gervaisey possible media product that has ever existed. Next year, my wish is that things like 1000x resist or UFO 50 might eventually float in with the tide, who knows. Flick flick. Stay safe, look to yourself. Have a happy holiday. The process takes the time it takes. Come to Toronto some time.

Mark Whiting

2024-12-13 21:23:24 +0000 UTC

Hey Noah, I’m proud of you and I’m proud of your mom. In situations like these, when I have regrets, I think about Aldous Huckley’s line about how “rolling around in the dirt is not the way to get clean.” You cannot change the past mate, but you can grow from it. All my love, Caomhán

Caomhan McGlinchey

2024-12-13 20:40:40 +0000 UTC

Your openness on this is incredibly respectable Noah. Please take all the time you need, this rough of a time is not something taken lightly. The overwhelming majority of us want you to be happy, and the videos will come when they do. This year or next, does not matter.

Sawed Off Laser

2024-12-13 19:48:51 +0000 UTC

All but the trolls who get off on your suffering understand the position you are in and feel no ill-will toward how these circumstances have affected your work. I don't think any of us should be expected to be "productive" as usual having gone through that. Just want to be another voice in the tide of support: take all the time you need. You have always been consistent with refunding and so on - nobody serious thinks you're scamming or ripping off any patrons when life has gotten in the way of "output" (and I can think of at least one beloved video essayist for whom I can't really say the same). I know it's just one comment among surely some hateful ones that will stick out in your mind more than all the support, which you've said is sometimes hard to take as seriously when you're down on things... but I hope this is worth more than nothing. You'll climb right back to the heights you achieved mentally, with time - and I for one, with the majority of others, will be supporting you no matter how that timeline shakes out.

John Marvin

2024-12-13 19:43:36 +0000 UTC

Your emotional and mental well being is so much more important than keeping up with any expectations about video production. Don't try and force yourself to work when you're already carrying so much weight. Whenever you're able to pick things back up, I'll be happy to see you then.

Colin Beerens

2024-12-13 18:47:45 +0000 UTC

Take as much time as you need.

Robert Conley

2024-12-13 18:42:25 +0000 UTC

I'm sorry about what you've been put through this year Noah. The work you've put out in 2024 has been some of your best, and I know that what I'll see from you next will be worth however long I have to wait. Be patient and generous with yourself.

Harrison Birkett

2024-12-13 18:28:10 +0000 UTC

I re-watch your videos all the time and greatly enjoy them. I'm glad I get to help support you putting your ideas out into the world. I hope you get the time you need to take care of yourself and those you love. I'm excited to see what you release next, but I'd rather you don't hurt yourself making it. Please take the time you need.

Jarrod A Hicks

2024-12-13 17:28:16 +0000 UTC

Most jobs have bereavement and sick time, and yours should be no excuse. Especially your job. Creativity requires the space to breath, think, and be yourself to create your best works. This isn't and shouldn't be viewed as a corporate grind corpo position where you grind yourself to pieces to create some entertainment for a bunch of internet monkeys you've never met. We're here because we love your work and know you need money to do it the right way. Our society rarely rewards creativity, especially in more niche formats. Family deaths are always hard mentally and physically. I'm so happy to hear you've had a very productive mental health year. Stress testing that progress is the only way to know it truly is progress. Take all the time you need, keep the soul happy.

RogueThrax

2024-12-13 17:17:30 +0000 UTC

Noah, take all the time you need. I'm very sad and sorry you are going through this hardship. I truly understand that when struggling with our mental health, life setbavks are the worst. I hope that you are able to get better in due time. Subscribing to your Patreon is the least I can do to support you, so don't worry about losing me.

Ernesto

2024-12-13 16:54:44 +0000 UTC

Take the time you need to take. I will be here for the work you do when it is ready.

Erik Amundsen

2024-12-13 16:41:08 +0000 UTC

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It always seems like when the worst things can happen they happen all at once like a giant wave. I know some people will have no empathy for you but I feel that I can speak for the majority of us that want you to be happy and know that you will deliver. I know that I'm not going to stop supporting you any time soon so you just take your time and heal. When the next video comes out I'll be there!

Jared Meyer

2024-12-13 16:12:24 +0000 UTC

My condolences for your loss and for the trauma that you have had to relive. Don’t worry about this work about video games; you have far bigger things to worry about. You have my support, especially through these tough times. It’s been a pleasant journey hearing you over these years and hope, but don’t demand, to continue listening when you are able.

2024-12-13 15:46:14 +0000 UTC

Rest up and feel better, we understand and there's no debt you need to worry about with me at least.

Mark Geroux

2024-12-13 15:10:17 +0000 UTC

Wishing you nothing but the best Noah.

OldmanJables

2024-12-13 15:05:42 +0000 UTC

Sounds like you've been through the ringer. My condolences. Life comes for us all at some points. Take care of yourself!

Sam Brian

2024-12-13 14:52:23 +0000 UTC

In a technical sense this is a business relationship, but we aren't your boss. You put out quality work and we consume it willingly and choose to support you. I think we all understand at this point that if there's a long gap between videos there's probably a very good reason for it. I'm sorry for your loss and the difficulties you've had recently. Do what you need to do, we'll be here :)

Robert Bay

2024-12-13 14:41:53 +0000 UTC

you cannot do your best work without first taking care of yourself

heylel harbinger

2024-12-13 14:16:13 +0000 UTC

I’m sorry for your loss, Noah. Losing a parent is the hardest moment in anyone’s life, no matter your relationship with them. Glad to support you, don’t care when the videos get made.

Trav

2024-12-13 14:16:09 +0000 UTC

Ok I know my profile icon is that of a Trollface, but for the moment, ignore that. I am so sorry to hear about what you've been going through and your loss. I recall you mentioning ( maybe in the Fallout retrospective, I forget off hand ), that your home life had been pretty rough at various points. I hope you can get through things with some measure of closure. But where you even begin to sort through all that...fucking hell man. In your shoes, I'd probably be a goddamn mess. It sounds like you're going to beat yourself up a bit regardless, but for what it's worth, I do not begrudge the delays here. Yes, schedules are important, but your work is creative, and when has creative work ever been that straightforward? Your brain's going to do what it does. Please be kind to yourself. As always, I appreciate the transparency. You're a good man, Noah; don't let your brain tell you anything different. Please take care of yourself and have a happy holidays ( should you and your family celebrate any of them ).

Mr.Fabulous

2024-12-13 13:40:11 +0000 UTC

My condolences! Life happens and you can’t control it, so take your time to come to terms with everything. I’m not paying you to churn out videos at any break-neck pace but to occasionally see a thoughtful and great video essay, so take all your time and most importantly take care of yourself! All love from Sweden

Sofie Ekblad

2024-12-13 13:16:00 +0000 UTC

Personally, i neither know nor care about any deadlines for your work. I don´t feel entitlement towards your work, but exhilarated when it comes out. These tragic upheavals happen, and few things are as harmful as the pressure to keep going at the same pace as though nothing had happened. Take all the time, and my best wishes. If your pace of work becomes unsustainable the price is not worth the output. I´ll just rewatch your previous essays in the meantime. Take care.

Maximilian

2024-12-13 13:07:52 +0000 UTC

Dude, your mum died. It's fine to not make shit right now. Beating yourself up about lack of productivity will only serve as a roadblock to getting back on the horse. Take some time, get through Christmas, get your mind right and come back when you're ready. Speaking personally, I will never ask you for a refund, I'm a grown adult who gives money to whomever I choose. It's your money now, keep it.

Nick Hurd

2024-12-13 13:04:04 +0000 UTC

My deepest condolences Noah for these really tumultuous past few months you've gone through. Honestly, and I'm sure I speak for your other patrons, the quality of your output is so high that the occasional long gaps between videos have never bother bothered me. You are still by a country mile one of the best video-essayists on the medium out there. Take your time and never rush something out at the expense of your well-being because you feel like it's a business obligation.

Omnishambles8

2024-12-13 12:35:43 +0000 UTC

Love you dude, take as long as you need. My pledge isn't going anywhere

Jordan Eller

2024-12-13 12:09:25 +0000 UTC

Thank you for sharing. I support you on Patreon because I believe art is important. I do not see this as a transaction only an opportunity to put money towards the things I love and express gratitude (I am thankful for that opportunity).

Fermented-Sorcerer

2024-12-13 11:52:46 +0000 UTC

Talking about remastering old videos: any plans to re-do the Baldur's Gate video? Not that it particularly needs it in and of itself, the quality is fine, but I'm hoping you'll eventually extend it to include Baldur's Gate 3, which I just started playing myself. So remastering the BG1 + 2 video to also include 3, as you did with Half Life and Fallout, would be pretty cool. I'd also love to see you do a standalone video on the Fallout TV series, which I hugely enjoyed - whilst watching it I kept thinking how much I thought you must enjoy it too, given how it was both really good, and a return to and continuation of the west coast stories.

TheBloke

2024-12-13 11:46:30 +0000 UTC

Very sad to hear some ingrate wanted a $500 refund. I've increased my monthly contribution to more than cover that amount over this month and next. Every time you ask if I want a refund, I feel I need to increase my contribution!

TheBloke

2024-12-13 11:42:48 +0000 UTC

I am so sorry for your loss Noah. You have nothing to apologise for in the slightest. It takes however long it takes, please do not feel compelled to force the work out to meet a deadline formulated before reality fundamentally shifted around you. Use your energy and resources to care for yourself first and foremost and the work will follow in due course. Don't burn yourself out. My deepest condolences for your loss, please take care of you and yours. You have had and continue to have my support.

Tom Painter

2024-12-13 11:41:37 +0000 UTC

So sorry to hear you've been having a hard time, Noah. Hope you feel better soon. As always I will wait as long as it takes, and in the meantime re(x10)- watch the old videos.

TheBloke

2024-12-13 11:35:54 +0000 UTC

Re-subscribed just so I could post a comment here. Noah, as someone who's had a similar relationship with a close relative who's also dying, and who's been dealing with repeated illnesses in the past few months that have also derailed my work, I want you to know that it's perfectly normal to slow down and even stop for a while. You're a human being. We engage with you not because you are a puppet dancing to our tune but because we deeply relate to the work and art you put out into the world and want to make sure you're comfortable and safe while creating, and also when you aren't working. I've been coming back to your videos recently, thinking about the impact they've had on my own engagement to art and travel. I can safely say you are probably the most influential creator in my life right now, and that even if you were to stop making videos entirely and just live the rest of your life content on the road, your work will continue to mold the way I live and how I engage with stories. I hope you can find some peace in the coming months. Take all the time you need. Months, years even, I don't care as long as you can finally feel safe and happy again. In the case of your mom--one of the hardest things I've learned is that closure is quite often a myth, a story that we tell ourselves to feel better. But it is one that we can get to dictate, especially when the other side has never responded well and left us with nothing but crumbs, feeling starved and frustrated and sad. I don't know your mother or your relationship to her, but I do know that many parents don't deserve their children. It's okay to move on from them, even if the hole they left in our lives by their neglect or abuse might never be filled like it should have been. It's ok to find your own form of closure while knowing they would never approve of it.

Eli Lass

2024-12-13 11:31:24 +0000 UTC

No refund here. I pay for past performance, not future returns. Keep on keeping’ on, No 💪 —edited to add: I, too, am a novelist and the great beast waiting to devour a writer’s soul is the deadline. Nothing will crush the inspiration of ideas and love of the craft quite like a deadline closing in. If you have a contract with a publisher, that’s one thing. If you intend to self-publish, as I have, my advice is to let deadlines go. Let them “whoosh by” as Douglas Adams says. Dawdling or endlessly tinkering with the text are bad too, but that deadline pressure is deleterious. Next Halloween isn’t so far off. Your horror novel will be ready by then. ☺️

Christopher Morlock

2024-12-13 10:59:20 +0000 UTC

My deepest condolences, I can't imagine what a hard few months you've had. Take all the time you need — I consider it a privilege to support a creative I admire so highly as they endure a tough time and reading the comments, I'm hardly alone in that. It is in this way that we become patrons: by making your art possible. As a patron, I only ask that you take care of yourself and that you consider rescinding the full refund policy. I may not think of my support as a business relationship but even in that frame, I think it wildly disproportionate for any customer to expect any business to repay years of custom over one disappointment. Whatever type of business you may be, Noah, you are not a bank and allowing people to withdraw their full balance must be a terrible pressure. I hope, in this bitter season, you may at least free yourself of that.

Jesse Felix

2024-12-13 10:58:24 +0000 UTC

Hi Noah - I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through at the moment, not only these external events but also the internal ones you’re expressing in this update. I’m not going to take up a bunch of your time, but when you say that “[you] owe [me] work… but it isn’t done”, I’m not sure I agree. What I came here to fund was the process, not “completed videos”. That includes videos that might not pan out. It might include you going off and doing other things to get the perspectives that inform your work. It might include taking the time to grieve or to take care of yourself. I can’t speak for anyone else but I often think about my contribution as like funding basic research. It doesn’t always result in products. That’s fine. Someone should do it. It’s still important. Take your time.

Bryn Davies

2024-12-13 10:57:18 +0000 UTC

Hi Noah. I am sorry to hear about your struggles. I know about complicated parental relationships, the can really fuck you up. I will say that you have proven time and time again that your work is worth the wait. I've never once worried about you trying to milk Patreon while skirting your videos. Take your time, work through your grief and emotions. I will be here through out.

Jonathan Sisson

2024-12-13 10:39:49 +0000 UTC

I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve been experiencing, Noah. I can only speak for myself, but I never fret when your channel goes through a dry spell and I never think of rescinding my pledge or asking for a refund. I’ve been a patron for over four years now and your content has always been worth the wait. I’ve always supported you with the idea that I am not owed anything and that any content you put out is a luxury for me to enjoy. I hope this does not sound dismissive of your professional attitude towards your channel or the drive you have to put out good work in a timely fashion. I know how seriously you take this and know all the blood, sweat and tears that you put into what you do, but just know there is no anger or disappointment on this side. I am paying to support you as an artist and I have no expectation or requirement as far as the pace that your art is finished at. Take another month, another six months, another year. My pledge will continue regardless.

Banks

2024-12-13 10:31:51 +0000 UTC

Take care of yourself -- life happens, that's no reason to be ashamed. I'm sure whatever you do, whenever you do it, will be great.

JCalder

2024-12-13 10:19:46 +0000 UTC

Hi Noah, so sorry to hear about your mum and that whole incredibly difficult scenario. I can’t imagine how tough and stressful it would have been. No rush on the videos, take as long as you need - we’ve got all your old ones to relisten to in the meantime. I was listening to the Joseph Campbell KOTOR one last night, it’s fantastic. All the best to you and your family 🙏🏻

Ben Murray

2024-12-13 10:17:35 +0000 UTC

I like many here have to say: take your time and find your equilibrium. The content you make, makes my mundane life hell of a lot brighter. I like to think that my small contribution makes my world a lot more interesting. I hope you take the time you need to heal. All the best from Finland. Here's hoping (selfishly) that we get an Alan Wake retrospective 😄

FormidableFungus

2024-12-13 09:45:14 +0000 UTC

Brother nobody minds waiting for a video compared to what you're going through. Take it easy and take care of yourself.

Gavin

2024-12-13 09:42:24 +0000 UTC

My condolences. I just wanna say you're one of the hardest working people on the platform that I'm aware of. You've been underpromising and overdelivering in terms of amount and quality of the content for years now. You are under no obligation to explain yourself. All you needed to say is that you had a family tragedy, and you need time to process. People that will understand, will understand. People that won't, well, you probably won't satisfy them anyway.

Kamil

2024-12-13 09:37:01 +0000 UTC

Take the time you need to heal. You can't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. We will wait. Your well-being comes first

Kirtan Brahmbhatt

2024-12-13 09:36:53 +0000 UTC

Noah, just look at all the love and understanding provided. Have a seat, drink some tea and take the time you need

Joakim Bergh

2024-12-13 09:33:23 +0000 UTC

I'd just like to join the chorus of people saying: take your time, take care of yourself, and (like everyone else in these comments) I don't feel like you owe anybody anything. I have typed and deleted and retyped variations on this same comment endlessly, but honestly, other people are saying it better than I can, and everyone seems to be on the same page about you and your work. Even if you only put out one video a year I don't think I would consider changing my monthly pledge level. Please just take care of yourself and get back to making your art if and when it suits you.

Handsome Unlimited

2024-12-13 09:08:19 +0000 UTC

Take all the time you need. You are not a machine and stop thinking that you need to be for us to feel satisfied. In fact if you've ever put out something that anyone could've claimed was sub-par it's because you were scrambling. An I think you said it yourself, pain doesn't enhance the art, it just makes it tougher to manifest.

Mieszko Czaja

2024-12-13 08:59:55 +0000 UTC

Yeah, it boggles my mind that people act like this is a commissioning process

Cameron

2024-12-13 08:49:43 +0000 UTC

I'm sorry to hear that Noah and I hope you are able to access help & support. For what it's worth, your content is always so rich and lengthy that the idea you owe me as a Patreon is strange to me. I can only speak for myself but I see Patreon as 1) a way to support you for historic content I watched before becoming a patron and 2) exactly like the medieval patronage system whereby what I'm "paying for" is for you to have time and space to think creatively. Yes, with some hope of seeing finished art at some point but at the end of the day, it's not a commission. Take however long you need and look after yourself.

Cameron

2024-12-13 08:48:40 +0000 UTC

This is not a business relationship! We are not clients! We are people who love your work and want to support you in doing it. You aren't a session musician booked in for a timeslot - you're a saxophonist on the street corner with a hat in front of you and a soul blaring out into the world. We give you money because we appreciate the work you've done, not just as an investment for some future product. Take care of yourself, please!

Sean Sullivan

2024-12-13 08:46:10 +0000 UTC

This might be a business relationship but I don't think it needs to be like one of an overworked retail assistant and a shitty manager. Take time to grieve and rest up, because if the rest of your catalogue of work is any evidence, it'll only serve to improve it. I hope life starts treating you a bit better, too.

Flamepunk

2024-12-13 08:45:13 +0000 UTC

Noah, you certainly do not need to apologise for something that, in your own words, is one of the absolute worst experiences of your entire life. I think a huge amount of people here would agree that you've always put out absolutely fucking excellent work, and that we'd all like for you to do this kind of thing at a pace that's healthy and constructive for your physical and mental health. I know too well that burning yourself out and working overtime to meet deadlines can seriously hurt quality, your health, future ability to make things, please, take the time you need to.

Flamepunk

2024-12-13 08:43:44 +0000 UTC

I upgraded my membership after reading this. This year has been difficult for me too for a whole variety of reasons but this winter things seem to be getting back on track and for the first time really, I'm able to afford to financially support your work. The emotional labour you've done is important and worthwhile, the writing you produce is important worthwhile (and worth taking time over) and I'm happy to contribute to both for as long as I'm able.

Tom Davies

2024-12-13 08:28:13 +0000 UTC

Hey Noah, my condolences. I'd also had a complicated relationship with my mom when she was killed by cancer five years ago, and it had sapped at my mental health for years (!) afterwards. All I can say is, I understand your pain, and I wish you would take it slow and process your feelings properly. Most of us are not going anywhere, even if you don't post a video every other month.

Mikhail Aristov

2024-12-13 08:26:45 +0000 UTC

Agreed

OlympusMonds

2024-12-13 08:23:42 +0000 UTC

I & everyone else have said this numerous times only to have it fall on deaf ears, which I'm sure it will again, but this is not a business relationship & we are not your employers & frankly it's unusual that you even offer refunds at all but anyone who asks for one is kind of being a dick. Anyway, I'm really sorry for your loss m8. Way I see it, if Hbomberguy can release one video a year & make bank, then so can you. Best of luck & merry christmas. <3

TheSoulJames

2024-12-13 08:09:50 +0000 UTC

You don't owe me a thing. I spend my money where I please and I am happy with my investment.

Please do not put my name in the Credits.

2024-12-13 07:41:01 +0000 UTC

I think/hope that in many cases, people support you here because they genuinely like you. Many also just like the work, but in a lot of cases people like you, the person. It’s a fairly unique and terrible situation you’re in and not being able to work is an incredibly normal reaction. If you need to, take a breather. Personally, I would feel worse watching work that was the product of you feeling forced

David Larkin

2024-12-13 07:19:57 +0000 UTC

You can't plan for things like that. Speaking as someone who has also had a turbulent year of sudden, unexpected developments and trips to hospitals, you're only human, and you can only do so much.

Sasquatch

2024-12-13 07:12:49 +0000 UTC

Noah I am so sorry for everything you've been through. Trying to be creative through that kind of turmoil is practically impossible. I admire you for trying, but please don't feel your have to break yourself to accomplish something. As I've always said, I don't support you because of some arbitrary expectation - I love the work you do and I hope you'll keep doing it. I wish I could help in some more meaningful way, but if it helps even a little, I hope you know my support isn't going anywhere. Take care of yourself. Seriously. You deserve it.

Rich Stoehr

2024-12-13 07:11:31 +0000 UTC

From my point of view, I pay for supporting Noah Caldwell-Gervais. I'm not paying per video or for any deadlines, just to support you. So, from my point of view, no deal has been not-honored :) Take care and have a nice holiday season!

K5TRL

2024-12-13 07:05:58 +0000 UTC

Sorry, I keep hitting enter on the mobile web and it posts the message: Third, I wabtnto object to the "your videos", as you wrote in closing: They are your writing, your work - your art. Us getting finished art from you is a privilege and a treat for us (as seen by the comments here and on bluesky). I encourage you to along with limiting refund retroactivity, please try to view the (yes, very real) work you're doing as something more than purely transactional. Eg. I do not comment on details of your and many others' art, as who am I to critique even a niece's piece of school art? I am just happy that it exists, and in your case get to partially support that. Take care 🙏🏼

Sohaib Sheikh

2024-12-13 07:05:34 +0000 UTC

Sorry: Second, please consider changing your refund policy as suggested in the parent user post: I can't imagine the stress you're under regarding the refund policy alone... I've been backing your writing for almost 10 years now, and I find it disturbing that the support I've given, voluntarily and with partially the intention that you NOT have to worry about money too much, is in practice a sword of hanging over your head. And has been so the whole time... For your own base stress levels and relation to your art, please change the refund policy.

Sohaib Sheikh

2024-12-13 06:54:16 +0000 UTC

Hi, Noah, sorry to hear you're struggling again - first of all, please take the time you need, no video is worth you burning yourself out over

Sohaib Sheikh

2024-12-13 06:46:58 +0000 UTC

Noah I cosign everything Aiden says

resnet

2024-12-13 06:45:47 +0000 UTC

Thank you for the update and I am sorry about evertything else. I am still rewatching the fallout and diablo videos whenever life gets a bit harder for me this year. You provided me with that comfort. I will never fault you when you need your own comfort. I respect your business decision and the people who don't feel the same way as me. But at least with this guy, there is no worries at all. Take care of yourself man. Take a lot of care.

resnet

2024-12-13 06:39:07 +0000 UTC

First, let me offer my deepest condolences on your loss. Second, let me reassure you that I am not in any way dissatisfied with your output; while your videos may be infrequent, they are consistently some of the highest-quality videos I have the pleasure to watch. Yours is the only "gaming" content I am willing to recommend to everyone I know without reservation. Please take care of yourself, and know that I will still be here when your next work is ready.

prototype27

2024-12-13 06:38:56 +0000 UTC

I live in a country with a generous sick leave system and I really think it should extend to you so go ahead. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

laxsill

2024-12-13 06:36:20 +0000 UTC

I can only echo what others have said, take the time you need and get to a place where you're feel ready to deal with the rest of the world. I've loved your work for years and am happy to help how I can. Also as someone else mentioned I think offering refunds to a certain degree is very admirable but if that 500 was for a single subscriber: you're not a bank and it's not fair for you to be treated like one. Hope you feel better soon.

Fall

2024-12-13 06:35:25 +0000 UTC

Thank you for the open and honest message. Please take all the time you need to get healthy. I don't like the way you write about your work as being some sort of business interaction (I guess it technically is). But what you do is art. You don't make a line go up (other than on my happiness chart), you make art. Art takes time. I'm not supporting you because I expect you to meet your targets and quota. I'm supporting you because your videos speak to me on a level I cannot put into words. Stay strong!

Read this in the voice of Werner Herzog

2024-12-13 06:34:00 +0000 UTC

I personally pay for the Moment one of your vids Pops Up in m feed. That Moment doesnt have a due by date. Take Care dude.

Rodri

2024-12-13 06:30:46 +0000 UTC

I'm not disappointed or angry. Your mental and physical health should come first, so please take all the time you need to process everything.

The7thDraconian

2024-12-13 06:15:35 +0000 UTC

Also, man, I gotta say, I admire the generosity of your refund policy, but you really should not be refunding people for over four years' worth of support. Maybe that person really needed the money back for an emergency or something, but I really hope that you make some change to your refund policy so that people can't just hit you up for $500 refunds out of the blue. That's kinda bonkers imo

Aidan Hensel

2024-12-13 06:14:40 +0000 UTC

Noah, very sorry to hear about your mother and the stress it has caused. I hope the best for you and your family. For what it's worth, I'm not a Patreon member so I can buy more videos. I don't see this as a transaction where you owe me anything. I'm a member because I truly enjoy your content and I'd like to show some appreciation for the joy it's brought me. I don't care if it takes you another month, year, 10 years to post another video. Hell, even if you never posted another video, I'd still be a member. Sure, anothe video would be great. But theres literal days worth of your content already out there for me to re-watch. Your videos are amazing, they make me happy, and my membership is an expression of my gratitude. Please take your time. The holidays are tough. Be good to yourself.

Elijah Evans

2024-12-13 06:12:18 +0000 UTC

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and your loss. We all live complicated lives and it's impossible to know what anyone is going through at any given time. Thanks for sharing the human behind the creator. As for there not being any excuses in a business relationship - fuck that. Mental health is a perfectly valid reason. Take your time, bud.

Erik Jeppsson

2024-12-13 06:11:37 +0000 UTC

Please take care of yourself, dude. I know you're from the US where people are indoctrinated into thinking they only have value as a worker drone, but you matter as a person and we all need time to heal especially after something that serious. Also, not my place to dictate, but please amend your refund policy to a year or to the last video or something. Yes, it's admirable of you, but at the same time people are still consuming your work and your work has value. I don't think it's healthy to see your own work as effectively disposable in this way. An employer does not have the right to take back the money they paid you for your labour. Take as much time as you need. Thank you for the transparency, and my condolences about your mother.

Martin Petersson

2024-12-13 06:01:21 +0000 UTC

Noah. Take as much time as you need. I think most of your Patrons understand that the creative process is difficult and unpredictable. And you will have things happen in your life that you need to deal with.

Sean Murphy

2024-12-13 05:58:40 +0000 UTC

My condolences about your mother, Noah. Please take all the time you need to recover from your sickness, grieve, and do anything else you need to do. I can only speak for myself, but I don't need a video, or a book, or even a Patreon update post in return for my pledge. In fact, the value you've provided me through your thinking and writing is actually weighted all the way in the other direction-- you don't owe me anything, I actually owe YOU for changing the way I think about so many different things, on top of the endless hours of effort you dedicate to communicating your thoughts to me. I don't think value like that can be measured in dollars, though, so I don't think I'm ever going to be able to square up with you, but I hope my continued pledging helps just a bit in that regard. You can count on my support; I'll be here til the end with or without a video. Take it easy, enjoy your life, and I'll hear from you when I hear from you.

Aidan Hensel

2024-12-13 05:58:33 +0000 UTC

I understand you have to think about the business reality of keeping your subscribers happy, but I would like to add my voice to what is hopefully the majority of your subscribers in saying I am more than happy with your output, I expect a video to take a very long time, I would give more if I could, you do not owe me an explanation, and I think if anything, you work too hard. It is only ever a delight to see your work appear in my feed.

Alex Ellington

2024-12-13 05:56:31 +0000 UTC

Just adding another voice to a very common sentiment here—we love you and seriously hope you take as long as you need. Your essays have provided rare perspective and relief during some of my own worst seasons; wish I could properly reciprocate. Just know you have another lifelong supporter in the wings.

Bluegill

2024-12-13 05:55:57 +0000 UTC

Brother you take as much time as you need. Frankly, although I know you do the refund thing for personal reasons, I think you should amend the policy to only cover payments going back to the most recent video posted; I don't think anyone can reasonably say that they're $500 dissatisfied about 5 months without a video. I suspect an emptied bank account would be more mentally stressful than guilt about someone feeling dissatisfied about February 2022 in December 2024.

Sam Sharpe

2024-12-13 05:40:35 +0000 UTC

Take time. Rest. Be with yourself.

Ethan Sarphie

2024-12-13 05:31:09 +0000 UTC

Hey Noah. In 2018, I was having the worst year of my life. My manager at the time took me aside at one point and asked me point-blank what was going on. I told him about a very complicated and immensely stressful situation I was in, and he said he was glad I told him. He was able to adjust my workload in a way that helped me a lot to keep my sanity (and my job). My manager wasn't my friend. The relationship we had was very much a business one. But when I needed it, he was able to understand and support me. Rest assured that almost every single person here will gladly do the same for you. Please take care of yourself. We need you to still be here next year much more than we need a video this month.

Boris Vorobev

2024-12-13 05:28:32 +0000 UTC

Noah....please. Please please please do not work yourself crazy on our behalf. Please. Take time to rest, feel grief, recover, and yes, have recreation. I want that so much more than I want a video. I'm so so sorry about all you have been going through, and we all want you to take care of yourself, and make sure you are ok before anything. Hang in there man, and please take the time you need to be a human being. You are not a content machine, and if anyone treats you like you are, there are literal thousands of us happy to shout them down. Be well Noah, be a human, and take care of yourself, your family, and your mind and body and heart.

SoldierHawk

2024-12-13 05:22:57 +0000 UTC

I can't begin to fathom what you're going through, and I'm so sorry. Your health is always what's most important, so please prioritize yourself and know that your community will be here. If your brain won't let you stop seeing our support as a business relationship, then consider us to be the kind of clients who provide as much paid leave as you need and want you to get everything you need out of the travesty that is american healthcare. Because, in business terms, you have earned that and more. In human terms, you deserve to feel better completely un-contingent on work, and I can't speak for everyone else but my support will be unwavering. Take care of yourself, please. For yourself, for your friends and loved ones. Remember all the love in these comments and let it provide what help it can. And thank you for letting us know, I really do appreciate it.

Hayes

2024-12-13 05:20:26 +0000 UTC

I no word good, so I'll keep this succinct. You've got my support. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but supporting you brings me joy. I'm -proud- to sponsor you. I'm not going anywhere, not until you say the word to stop, and especially not when you need your patrons most. Keep on keeping on.

Daniel Philips

2024-12-13 05:14:56 +0000 UTC

Hang in there. I keep my Patreon sub active even in the sparse periods on account of the years I felt seen and moved by your writing but couldn’t afford to chip in. Sorry to hear you’re going through it. All the best, buddy. Sending you good energy.

Ted Lundholm

2024-12-13 05:14:52 +0000 UTC

Noah, much love to you and yours. I'm sorry for your loss and all of the complicated feelings attached. We do the best we can, and you deserve nothing but good things. As a side note, the videos you put out this year are some of your best, some of my absolute favs. I am working on my own Shadow of the Erdtree feature, and I doubt it'll be half as good as the amazing video essay you made this year. I'd take a handful of Noah Gervais videos over hundreds of videos from other creators, and I'm really grateful for what you put out in 2024. I mean that. So, wishing you all the best, and drinking to a better 2025. Peace

Ryan Aston

2024-12-13 05:09:51 +0000 UTC

So sorry to hear about all of that. You’ve gone through an incredibly difficult time, and it wasn’t your fault. Take care of yourself, and in time you’ll be able to take care of this content, too.

Sean

2024-12-13 05:08:29 +0000 UTC

Noah, homie, you're going through it right now, but don't worry. I, an absolute stranger, still love you. Anyone who gives you shit about this can kick rocks. You didn't fail.

Slim Mecha Smile

2024-12-13 05:01:50 +0000 UTC

I'll happily be subscribed for the foreseeable future regardless of how often you do or do not make videos. Take all the time you need

Jack Donato

2024-12-13 04:50:02 +0000 UTC

I’m happy that I’m able to provide support even if you’re not able to put anything out. There are plenty of us here behind you regardless of what’s going on, and thanks for letting us know what’s going on. 🫂I hope you feel way better soon.

Kisse

2024-12-13 04:46:21 +0000 UTC

My condolences Noah. That sounds extremely challenging, and I hope that you have some support networks to guide you through this period. My past year and a half or so has been devastating between my wife's sudden and scary chronic illness (well-managed and much better now), being laid off, a never ending job search, and under-employment. I can relate to the feeling of life blind-siding you just as you feel like you are starting to get things together - I had just graduated with a "sought-after" advanced degree, on paper things had never been better. A year and a half later of being kicked in the head and here we are! We are about the same age I believe, and it has also been the darkest season of my adult life. I am sharing all of this because in this post you've touched on the same feelings I have had about my output as a freelancer during a time when I have just been trying to wake up the next day. I am sure this type of work can be lonely and it's not as though you have a boss to say "hey, take it easy for awhile, I know that things have been tough." I hope that you take to heart that, if we as your supporters have to be your "boss," we can respectfully ask that you be patient with yourself and take as much time as you need in order to regather. I have found your work that touches on your experience with depression to be particularly meaningful. And likewise I appreciate you sharing your thoughts here. They are, again, very relatable. Whenever the next videos go up I'll be excited to watch them, but I'll be just as happy to know that it hopefully means things are becoming a bit better for you. While I am commenting I also want to say I absolutely adore the travel-logs and "real-life locations" videos as a geography/history nerd. Apologies for the long post, final thought - When I am struggling sometimes, I have found it meditative to envision this stupid ass meme of a dog sitting (half submerged) in a lawn chair with a beer in it with the caption: "it's going to be okay" / "but it's going to be different". Your mileage may vary, but I have found it captures the dread and anxiety of moments in time like these, but also the warm glow of the truth that you will persevere.

mxmx

2024-12-13 04:44:52 +0000 UTC

ive also had an emotionally brutal autumn. hold in there good sir. im sorry about your loss, but im glad you had/have space to work through it <3 ill always wait for your videos, theyre ALWAYS worth it.

DJBLAKLITE

2024-12-13 04:42:58 +0000 UTC

I'm sorry for your loss. Take your time.

Alex

2024-12-13 04:40:47 +0000 UTC

Hang in there man, I know losing a parent you didn't have a good relationship with can be weird and complicated. I'm looking forward to more of your great writing and content but not at the cost of your health - take your time, the Internet will still be here when you're ready. Don't give up, skeleton!

Don't Give Up, Skeleton

2024-12-13 04:35:13 +0000 UTC

Noah, you create exceptional content that is so far above and beyond even good youtube shows. Simply put, you're worth the wait. I feel for you and wish you the best personally. But there is zero chance I stop supporting your channel.

Tim Bolduc

2024-12-13 04:33:52 +0000 UTC

Refund? Nah, gonna increase my pledge amount instead

Patrick Moore

2024-12-13 04:31:52 +0000 UTC

I hope you recieve many more of these comments in the future, but my sincerest wish is that you take the time you need. A death in the family, especially one with such complicated emotions behind it, will always be a complete shakeup. I don't know about the others who have pledged, but i do so because i love the art you make, and a big part of that art is you as a person. It would be hypocritical to tell you to push past the very human experience of loss and grief. You aren't a machine, and no matter how much tome you take, there will be people here who will support you.

Briar Upshaw

2024-12-13 04:30:00 +0000 UTC

Hi Noah, I’ve been meaning to pledge for ages and just kept letting it slip my mind. I just pledged now to support you and to let you know (along with everyone else) that you are fine and we all want you to take care of yourself. Your story is actually quite similar to mine from when my Mom died, but just much much bigger. We understand and we’re excited for whatever you’ve got coming next.

Jordan Schaeffer

2024-12-13 04:25:55 +0000 UTC

Take all the time you need, I'll still be here supporting you

Hunter Lantz

2024-12-13 04:21:05 +0000 UTC

Please, noah, be kind to yourself, as much as you can find it in yourself to do so in this difficult time. Given your self imposed workload, you would be completely justified in taking a mental health break for a little bit at any time, even if you hadn’t just lost your mother. I know everyone who supports you would agree with that. I’m not just saying that — I can clearly see it in the comments of the folks who’ve already responded. As parasocial and transactional as this relationship may be, you’ve built a really good community here. We may be your customers, the “shareholders” in your business, but I’d like to think we’re also your supporters in a less financial sense, and want to see you thrive in a healthy, happy way, in your own time. I do understand the urge to hold yourself to high professional standards even in a time of crisis, and I appreciate your integrity and honesty and commitment to your craft. It speaks volumes on the quality of your character and work ethic in an online ecosystem rife with grifters and conmen. But please. Be kind to yourself, if you can. The rest can wait, for now.

Arby

2024-12-13 04:20:14 +0000 UTC

my pledge is there to simply show my love for your art. please be kind to yourself and take as long as you need to heal and create 💌

izzi o

2024-12-13 04:18:20 +0000 UTC

With the quality of content you make I'm willing to wait a pretty long time between videos. As long as you don't completely disappear. Try to be kind to yourself. I don't think any one decent will hold this against you. Also, IMHO your refund policy is probably a little too generous.

Q2553

2024-12-13 04:14:23 +0000 UTC

My guy burnout is no good for anyone take time, breathe, process, get some recreation in. This is what having a community is about the ability to stop and do the things you need to do to take care of yourself so that you can keep going strong.

Hagop

2024-12-13 04:12:22 +0000 UTC

I’m so sorry for your loss and everything you’ve been going through. Please take some time off! Not only do you need it, you deserve it! I’ve never had a crisis in my life that got better because I doubled down on work. Maybe think about rescinding your refund policy because that sounds insanely stressful and unsustainable. Much love bud you’re not alone.

Josh Fremer

2024-12-13 04:11:47 +0000 UTC

You can count on my continued support. Take care.

Rob Tackett

2024-12-13 04:11:39 +0000 UTC

Hey man, take it easy on yourself. I generally watch each and every one of your videos multiple times and when a new one from you drops it's like a holiday! But take time for you. I'd rather you be whole and healthy and slowly releasing content than on the edge and dropping new stuff all the time.

Zachary Buster

2024-12-13 04:07:46 +0000 UTC

Noah, it is NOT an "excuse" That your mom died, if my mom died, I don't know if I'd be able to create anything for years, let alone a few paltry months. Take all the time you need, man <3 <3 <3

Dragon Cobolt

2024-12-13 04:05:50 +0000 UTC

Can’t rush greatness

Annon Follower

2024-12-13 04:04:22 +0000 UTC

I say this as a "shareholder" of your business: take the time you need to heal. Whenever you get back to your work, it'll be the better for the time you've spent on yourself and your loved ones. Signed, some guy you don't know.

Eddie George

2024-12-13 04:02:21 +0000 UTC

I hope you can be as kind to yourself as the people in these comments. Speaking personally, I'm not on the Patreon because I want to fund future projects, though that is neat. I'm here because of the work you've already done. If you never make another video, not a penny will have been 'wasted.'

Peter Ciccolo

2024-12-13 03:59:08 +0000 UTC

I lost my brother in December of last year. I consider myself pretty well adjusted but I completely collapsed under the weight of that grief and stress. I am just now starting to feel anything resembling "normal." Fortunately, I think you've cultivated the kind of audience that will give you the grace to get back on your feet. We'll wait as long as you need. Take it slow and easy.

Cory Austin

2024-12-13 03:58:54 +0000 UTC

Take care of yourself hoss and just let us know you're okay! That's what your mates care about, and I'd like to think of myself as one. Hope you have plenty of people to talk to when life is tough like this, if you ever need another let me know!

Nick Niazian

2024-12-13 03:58:29 +0000 UTC

Sending you endless love king 💖 When my father died I was similarly in a very confused state about how to feel about it. I’ve felt so seen hearing about your experiences, and I can’t thank you enough for being so open. Never feel too much pressure to do that, but your authenticity is inspiring. Take your time x

Andrew McMenemy

2024-12-13 03:52:43 +0000 UTC

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you take care of yourself!!! Be kind!!!

Alex K-P

2024-12-13 03:51:51 +0000 UTC

Hey man, much love. I've lost a parent and I can't imagine your circumstances, but that shit is incredibly hard, and that's without sickness that cripples your tools to work. I love your stuff and part of being a patron is knowing that your release schedule happens when it happens, mainly because I know the time and care you put into things and how long it takes to make the massive, thoughtful videos that you do. So I'm fucking stoked to know about what you have in the work and I'm happy to wait, take the time it takes and keep up the great work.

Sean Boerger

2024-12-13 03:49:55 +0000 UTC

That’s really rough to go through. Don’t worry about the video cadence. I figure a many-hours long video should take years to make, and am surprised when it only takes months. I’m looking forward to hearing your Dragon Age thoughts, no matter when they arrive.

qrayx

2024-12-13 03:46:15 +0000 UTC

Noah, I've supported you over the last umpteen years because you're the best writer the industry has, and one of the best alive period. Your works show the real art of critique- and I would wait years for another. I hope you have a better end to your year than the last few months, and look forward to your work when it's ready, and not at the expense of your mental or physical health.

Jake Demarest-Mays

2024-12-13 03:46:05 +0000 UTC

Nobody can do adequate work when they're an emotional wreck, and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves. Additionally, it is impossible to flagellate yourself into excellence. To expect excellence under such taxing circumstances would be frankly unreasonable of me. Rather, accept my best wishes for a comprehensive emotional and mental recovery. Yours truly, Collin

Collin Stoltz

2024-12-13 03:41:34 +0000 UTC

Dear Noah, my deepest condolences. That is really fucking hard, and you are in my thoughts. I know I'm speaking for many others when I say this, but please don't beat yourself up and take all the time you need to look after yourself. I would say that your output has been prolific this past year, I mean you have put up several dozen hours worth of video essays. You're my favorite essayist, and you've been a big inspiration to one of my closest friends. Also I can't believe anyone would ask for a refund, that's gross

Yazan Barghouti

2024-12-13 03:38:38 +0000 UTC

brother, you have nothing but love and support from me. i am so sorry for all you have had to go through. while i can selfishly say i would like more content, that should always come second to you having a healthy personal life. i am just an online stranger but if you ever need an anonymous ear to vent to, i'd be happy to lend mine. take your time, we'll be here

Tyler Crane

2024-12-13 03:38:31 +0000 UTC

Take your time man, good stews take time to cook and all of that

Tyler Collins

2024-12-13 03:37:34 +0000 UTC

No worries, thank you for the explanation, but please take care of yourself. There’s no rush, take things at your own pace, weather you release anything tomorrow or in a year, we’ll still be here to listen to whatever you have to say. So please take all the time you need to take care of yourself. Thank you for the videos and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Christian Pearson

2024-12-13 03:37:33 +0000 UTC

no sweat man. i appreciate the seriousness with which you address your responsibilities. and also, no sweat man. get through the shit and take care of yourself.

Gantoris007

2024-12-13 03:37:07 +0000 UTC

Understood. Accepted. Take the time you need, the vids are always worth the wait.

Charlie Pauch

2024-12-13 03:36:25 +0000 UTC

Longtime lurker first time Patreon member. I watch some portion of your work nearly every night. Your work has built a community, which goes beyond a mere business transaction. You’ve brought much to my life with these videos, truly, so being patient and appreciative of all you’ve done in the past is the least we all can do

Jack O'Brien

2024-12-13 03:36:25 +0000 UTC

I know this is your thing and it helps you reclaim power and responsibility, but trust me when I say you shouldn't expect people to unsub just because you're not sticking to your (self-imposed) schedule. Your work is incredible and it will be done when it is done. That's all we need. Take care of yourself. That sounds like an incredibly challenging trial, but I'm glad you're facing it in a better phase of life. Take it easy on yourself. And I know you probably know this, but this is art, not a Chuck E Cheese. I for one do not expect "business" standards, I think too highly of your writing for that

Kryshen

2024-12-13 03:35:44 +0000 UTC

So sorry for your loss, Noah. Please take care of yourself and your loved ones! For whatever it's worth, you have my 10 bucks a month so long as I have 10 bucks a month to give.

Duke

2024-12-13 03:35:43 +0000 UTC

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say it's totally fine that you're late. I can't fault you for the family tragedy. Losing your mother is crushing, especially with how complicated the relationship was. I've supported your work for many years at this point and that's not gonna change now. Your videos are always worth the wait. Even if you don't finish anything until January I'm happy to wait. I'm glad you've made progress with your mental health. That is always such a wonderful thing to hear about. Finally, I cannot wait to read your novel! I'm thrilled that you're almost done with it.

David Harpstrite

2024-12-13 03:35:11 +0000 UTC

I've been watching for years and just signed up here, now, 10 seconds ago. Take all the time you need, man. We know that when you deliver, it will be more than worth the wait.

AllDaySure

2024-12-13 03:35:00 +0000 UTC

Grief is a huge thing to deal with no matter the negatives of your relationship with someone. A lot of the people here supporting you are happy to wait and still keep pledging, so please don’t let your guilt (about not constantly putting out work during the most stressful time of your life) eat you up like this. Take your time. We’ll be here.

William Tongue

2024-12-13 03:34:17 +0000 UTC

I can't speak for others but I don't consider this a business relationship, I'm certainly no investor displeased in missed deadlines. Rather, I'm sorry to hear that things have been so tough, and I'm happy to hear my patreon funds have gone to helping you financially through such a difficult time. As someone who lost a parent suddenly before I had the chance to work things out with them, I both envy your position and don't, but I at least empathize. Make sure you get the support you need. Again, I can't speak for others, but I decided to become a patron solely because I love what you do, and because of the many hours of enjoyment and help through difficult times your videos have provided for me. I can wait and I'm sure others here can wait too, whatever you have in development will doubtless be worth the delay. Take care of yourself. My condolences.

David Bromberg

2024-12-13 03:33:58 +0000 UTC

Noah, I mean this with all sincerity. I could give a shit if I get a video from you this month. Or next. I know that whenever you deliver it will be superb, well thought and artful no matter what it is. Take care of yourself. This is a business relationship, but no one other than callous monsters and joyless cocks wouldn't understand that you need time. Please take all the time you need to recover and relax and find joy in what you're doing. Your videos are a consistent delight and often profound. You're more than a reviewer, you're a goddamned artist and it takes time for a master craftsman to do their work. But more than all of that, of any of it, I would rather never see a video from you again and know you are well and healthy and pursuing joy than killing yourself to create something for us. What you do is a gift to us and anyone else who is lucky enough to find it. Please give yourself grace and patience and I mean this, take care of yourself.

Zac Horton

2024-12-13 03:33:53 +0000 UTC

I feel like I say this every time I see your notes like this, and it strays into the parasocial, but I never ever connect my patreon support to content produced. This story is why. We all should have time and space to process, and it sounds like (again, parasocial projection) you needed to do so to be human, to function. I find your candor and resilience admirable. In fact, your videos and wisdom have supported me and distracted me through dark and stressful times. The least I can do, in this business transaction, is support you in turn. I'm glad you exist.

Rey D

2024-12-13 03:33:42 +0000 UTC

No worries, take all the time you need.

Nalthar

2024-12-13 03:32:42 +0000 UTC

I've lost two grandparents in the course of the past year. The most recent death, I've had a lot of complicated emotions to go through. Who she was to me as a child, who she turned into over the past decade, and what I have learned about who she was long before I was born. Life doesn't play fair, and often seems to go for the knees when we are feeling best about ourselves. You are very hard on yourself, which is not an unfamiliar trait to me, so I hope this helps: I've been watching your work for almost seven years now. Every single video has been well worth the wait. Keep on keeping on, brother.

The Mountain That Abides

2024-12-13 03:31:38 +0000 UTC

Thank you

Esesel & Benefulthedoggo

2024-12-13 03:31:38 +0000 UTC

It's all good, boss. Appreciate that you're still moving forward, and that's all I'd ever ask. Get some sleep, let yourself relax, we'll be ok out here in the audience.

Agendine says riffs and licks, tips and tricks. Riffs and licks, tips and tricks. Riffs and licks, tips and tricks. Riffs and

2024-12-13 03:30:29 +0000 UTC

You're one of my favorite creators, and just like many of my favorite creators, they take a long ass time putting out their work. That's fine with me and I'm sure many others on here as well and I'll keep supporting you unless you go dark for approximately five years without an update. Anyhow, I hope things come back together for you soon, happy holidays, and thanks for all the great videos over the years!

Ian Wieserman

2024-12-13 03:30:07 +0000 UTC

It is no problem at all dude. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss and I can wait long times for your videos. It’s never been a problem for me personally. I’ve loved your vids since grade school and waiting will never diminish my support for you financially. That’s all I feel like I can say but I hope for the best for you ❤️❤️❤️

Ben Jackson

2024-12-13 03:29:39 +0000 UTC

Buddy I’ll pay you for years and years to come even if you never release another video. I don’t see it as an exchange. You have given me rays of sunshine through the cracks in the sky. It’s too grand to be bought. Me being here and sending you a penance is a way for me to feel grateful for what you are and what your mind has produced. I would guess that I’m not alone in that feeling. I’m not paying you to make anything, I just like feeling like I’m apart of your life in some small way. Take care and keep on man.

Traeger Ruhter

2024-12-13 03:29:21 +0000 UTC

I am happy to wait as long as it takes you. I recently spoke with my partner about how it had been a while since anything had been heard so greatly appreciate the update, and letting us in, if slightly, to a very personal set of things going on in your life. I speak for myself, but hope as well for the rest of us here in wanting you to know you do not in any way need to hurry. Take care of yourself and your family, my support won't be going anywhere.

Jesse Denton

2024-12-13 03:29:06 +0000 UTC

Noah, no reasonable human being is going to think you should let your mental health continue to deteriorate to push out content. You absolutely have a very good reason to take some time off to process all this and get back to a point where you're not torturing yourself to make another video. Please make sure you're okay first and foremost.

GiantPurplePen15

2024-12-13 03:28:49 +0000 UTC

This sounds like an incredibly difficult time, and I hate to hear how hard it has been. Since beginning to throw in support here, I've always appreciated that whenever you put something out, it's a work of quality that I enjoy greatly. I tend to watch your videos more and more lately because of the mental health struggles I've had, and your thoughtfulness, wit and thorough research make it easy to get out of my head for a few hours. Take care of yourself Noah, many of us will be here for a long time to come

Matte Flowers

2024-12-13 03:28:44 +0000 UTC

I love your work. Please take as much time as you need 👍

Burger Boi

2024-12-13 03:28:32 +0000 UTC

Noah your writing is high enough quality that when you drop a new video after six months i honestly just feel happy. No disappointment or frustration. I get what you’re saying about “business relationships” but honestly I’m far too socialist for that to compute for me. So sorry for what you’re going through. Hope fate lets me give you a bear hug someday, fella.

Rory Quinn

2024-12-13 03:28:22 +0000 UTC

I've supported you and will keep supporting you my guy. No one produces the things you do, you're a one of a kind, and I'm sorry you have the troubles that you do. We appreciate your content, and while there is some maxims about the heartlessness of business decisions... I support you because you, and who you are, has made an effect on my life, and while it's not much, I hope it will stack up in the long term.

Zoru22

2024-12-13 03:28:19 +0000 UTC

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and the complicated situation surrounding it. I'd like to think I speak for many fans when I say that I truly am not upset by the delays, and never hold them against you. Your videos are extremely in-depth, and I would never trade faster turnarounds for art that you weren't satisfied with. I wasn't calculating "Noah minutes per dollar" when I made my pledge - I'm a long time fan of your work, and I wanted to do my part to ensure that you had the financial freedom to work on what YOU felt was important, rather than chasing an algorithm.

Austin Herrick

2024-12-13 03:28:03 +0000 UTC

I think the vast majority of people are here because they want to support you unconditionally while they can. I'm honestly shocked that anyone would 'cash out' their lifetime support to you like you're a savings account. That's really not on. Take your time and don't burn out

The Narcissist Cookbook

2024-12-13 03:27:48 +0000 UTC

My condolences on the difficult times you’re going through. I am absolutely NOT angry or upset by the lack of videos— I am a patron because I love what you do and I want you to be able to work with dignity and treat yourself as kindly as you can. Your mental and physical health are important- I hope that you take the time to recover as much as you can ❤️ and that in this coming year, you allow yourself some grace to be human and feel big feelings And thank you for updating us on how you’re doing

HimikoNoKimi

2024-12-13 03:27:07 +0000 UTC

I think you’re much too hard on yourself! Life happens to everyone, and I’m very sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through :(. I’m really looking forward to new videos when you’re able, but in the meantime I’ll happily keep rewatching your old stuff :). I hope things get easier soon!

Emily

2024-12-13 03:26:42 +0000 UTC

Love you Noah, if parasocially. Your videos have gotten me through plenty of my own mental health troubles and your voice is one I always turn to for relaxation and comfort. Take whatever time you need, boss, you're worth it.

Liam Harrison

2024-12-13 03:26:16 +0000 UTC

Noah, your incredible work is always worth waiting for. Any wait is just a chance to build anticipation. Take all the time you need to.

William Paverd

2024-12-13 03:26:04 +0000 UTC

Life happens, whether we want it or not. I'm just glad you're making the best of things after a rough roll of the dice this year, and look forward to seeing what comes next ❤️ also, have a merry Christmas Noah!

Charlotte

2024-12-13 03:25:54 +0000 UTC

I don't support you because I want regular content. I support you because I want you to be able to afford to live a life where you can take the time to make the long and detailed and wonderful things you do. Life happens, and it sounds like a lot of life happened all at once. We'll be here when you're ready :)

Andrew Lamb

2024-12-13 03:25:30 +0000 UTC

2024 has been kicking me in the you know where all year so I get it, take care of yourself

Daniel Kemp

2024-12-13 03:25:29 +0000 UTC

I’m so sorry to hear you’ve gone through so much these past months. Take your time and be kind to yourself

SpiritusNox

2024-12-13 03:25:25 +0000 UTC

Hey dude, no worries. Life happens and you gotta deal with it

sarah

2024-12-13 03:24:16 +0000 UTC

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