Pounded In The Butt By The Crushing Existential Weight Of Sentient Self-Awareness - (Classic Tingler Revisited)

as a buckaroo who does not have what you would call TRADITIONAL DAY JOB, weekends do not have the same meaning to me that they do for most of my buds. the majority of buckaroos wait with excitement for these days of freedom to arrive, but when saturday and sunday roll around what i usually think is: ‘dang i cant go to the grocery store today because its gonna be too busy’ or ‘ill save that postoffice trip until tuesday afternoon.’ in other words weekends are kind of a dang bummer for chuck because THE WHOLE TIMELINE GETS CROWDED

at the same time there is a sort of UNDENIABLE VIBE that we get on these days. saturday has a sense of adventure, thats for sure, but SUNDAY is what id like to talk about today. SUNDAY feels THOUGHTFUL

for religious buckaroos this makes a lot of sense, sunday is a day of rest and reflection in many traditions, but i think this is kind of true for everyone. sunday is usually the time to say ‘im gonna take it easy and get ready for the week, lets lie low and take a dang nap and think and dream.’

in honor of TAKING IT EASY on this existential day, i wanted to post an existential tingler. while the title can seem scary at first, this one proves love in the end. please enjoy POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY THE CRUSHING EXISTENTIAL WEIGHT OF SENTIENT SELF-AWARENESS

Cart is consumed with the big questions of existence, and it’s starting to weigh him down with cosmic dread. Hoping to find answers, he quits his job and heads out on the hike of a lifetime, walking from coast-to-coast with nothing but a backpack of supplies and some hiking boots.

Unfortunately, the whole journey Cart is haunted by the cries of some strange wilderness creature, and as his anxiety grows, so do the terrifying howls.

Soon enough, Cart finds himself face-to-face with the physical manifestation of the crushing existential weight of sentient self-awareness; but instead of dread, Cart is unexpectedly aroused. Now Cart’s learned the importance of wonder and cosmic awe in a hardcore anal pounding with this handsome living concept!

This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human on handsome living existential dread action, including anal, blowjobs, facials, rough sex, and sentient concept love.

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POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY THE CRUSHING EXISTENTIAL WEIGHT OF SENTIENT SELF-AWARENESS

By Chuck Tingle

I left the city to be alone with my thoughts, desperately hoping that the silence of the wilderness and the vastness of nature would somehow sort things out. Instead, my anxiety has only grown, and the weight of these thoughts is twice as heavy as it once was.

My trip was a calculated risk, and one that appears to have backfired.

Despite this fact, I’m still proud of myself for giving it a try, and to be fair, this hike is far from over. I still have a few states to get through before reaching the glorious shores of the Pacific Ocean, successfully traversing the entire United States on foot.

It’s been a long journey physically, but I still feel like I’m no closer to the intellectual answers I’m looking for. The universe is just as mysterious as ever, and now that my expedition is about to end, I’m left with no job or apartment to return to.

My coworkers thought I was crazy when I told them what I was doing, and even crazier when I explained why. They told me I could face down my existential crisis from right there behind my desk, gazing out across rows and rows of cubicles and the icy blue glow of a computer screen.

Of course, all of that is much too distracting.

My feet aching, I decide that now is the perfect time to take a break from my long trek, right as I cross over border between Washington and Idaho.

I step off the trail a bit and find a large rock to sit on, dropping my pack and letting out a long, satisfied sigh. Only one state left.

Out of my bag I pull a protein bar, ripping through the packaging with my teeth and then taking a glorious bite. It’s been a while since my last break, and the second this food enters my mouth I feel a surge of nourishment pulse its way across my body like a pleasant wave.

From my seat on this boulder I can see far out into the valley below, the seemingly endless cascade of trees and hills looking strangely inviting. By now, the open wilderness has started to feel like home.

Without warning, a terrifying howl echoes out through the woods, the sound sending a powerful chill down the length of my spine. The call is unlike any animal that I’m aware of, and it’s been following close behind me this entire journey. This terrifying cry has been a part of my trip for so long that, at this point, it doesn’t even frighten me anymore.

Sure, it makes me a little uneasy being stalked by some bizarre beast of the wilderness, as it rightly should, but the fact that whatever it is has never actually done anything to harm me is telling.

Suddenly, I notice a bit of movement from the trail ahead, causing my heart to skip a beat.

Along the way I’ve met quite a few travelers, but this far out into the wilds they begin to grow quite rare. I don’t think I’ve spotted another human being for at least three days now. Could the creature that’s followed me all this way be finally ready to reveal itself?

Nope. It’s just a hiker.

“Hey there!” I call out when a handsome, rugged man finally rounds the bend, putting me at ease once more.

The man waves to me and I wave back excitedly.

“Hi!” the hiker says, approaching with a smile. When he finally arrives at the boulder I’m sitting on he extends his hand and gives me a firm shake. “I’m Frimbo,” the man offers.

“Cart J. Doons,” I reply. “How far you headed?”

The man cracks a smile. “Well... I plan on making my way down to Florida. Walking coast-to-coast. It’s a lot, but I think I could use the trip.”

I laugh. “Florida’s where I started!”

“You’re kidding me!” Frimbo retorts excitedly. “Then you’re just the man for me to talk to!”

I nod towards the boulder across from mine, motioning for my new friend to sit down. “Join me,” I offer. “If you’ve got any questions, I’ve got plenty of advice to give.”

The man sits and pulls a snack of his own from the bag that was once strapped to his back.

“How’s it been so far?” I question.

“Good, really good,” my new friend replies. “I’m enjoying the silence. I like to be alone with my thoughts.”

“I remember that part of the journey,” I respond, smiling with sincere warmth.

“And now? Frimbo questions.
I slowly let out a long, long sigh. “Too many thoughts.”
Frimbo nods with understanding.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you doing this?” I continue. Frimbo considers these words for much longer than I expected, as

though he’d never really thought about it until this very moment.
“I wanted to feel like I was doing something with my life,” he finally

replies. “Walking across the country seemed like a pretty big mission, so that’s what I decided to do with myself.”

“Well, you’re right about that, it’s one hell of a mission,” I retort.

“What about you?” Frimbo continues. “What made you decide to hit the trail?”

Whether Frimbo knows it or not, he’s suddenly put me at a crossroads. The simplest answer to his question is that I just felt like it, but the real reason is so much more complicated. It’s so complicated, in fact, that I’m still only aware of it in a vague, abstract way that continues to haunt the back of my mind.

“No reason,” I finally blurt, not wanting to open that can of worms. Unfortunately, it appears I’m far from convincing.
Frimbo raises an eyebrow skeptically. “No reason? You just got up

one day and decided to start walking?”
I hold my expression for as long as I possibly can, but finally crack. I

let out a long sigh, shaking my head from side to side as my defenses crumble. “No, that’s not really it. I just... I needed to sort some stuff out in my mind.”

“Like what?” my new friend continues, curious.

“Big questions,” I explain. “The questions you ask yourself before falling asleep late at night, staring at the ceiling in the dark. They started to weigh on me pretty heavy, and eventually it got to be too much. I figured I might be able to answer them if I had a little time to myself.”

“So you hit the trail,” Frimbo offers with a nod.
“Exactly,” I reply.
“And did you get the answers you were looking for?” Frimbo

continues.
I shake my head with grave disappointment. “Honestly, it’s only

gotten worse. I’ve got more questions than ever.”
“Well... maybe I can help you sort some of them out,” the hiker

offers.
“That’s... very kind of you,” I reply, “but I don’t wanna be a bother.” “It’s no bother,” Frimbo quickly assures me. “What’s on your mind?” I take a deep breath, finally settling in. “Okay. What are we?”
“Two hikers,” Frimbo replies.
“No, I mean... I know that I’m existing here, in this moment, but I

don’t know what this moment is. I don’t even really know what existing means. I know that I have a beginning and an end, and that’s scary. We’re more than just two hikers, we’re sentient creatures communicating for some reason that we can’t even possibly fathom. Long ago life just kinda... started, and for what?”

I realize now that I’m ranting and I struggle to calm myself, not wanting to get to carried away in the moment. To my surprise, Frimbo isn’t

at all taken aback by my outburst. In fact, my new friend is listening just as intently as ever, following along with a smile and an understanding nod.

“Doesn’t that give you anxiety?” I question.

The hiker shrugs. “A little, but talking about it usually makes things a little better, so I guess it just kinda evens out.”

“I’m sorry,” I gush. “I don’t mean to vent. I don’t get a chance to take many folks out here on the trail.”

“Keep going then,” Frimbo says.

“Really?” I question, blown away by this man’s even keeled generosity. We’ve only just met and I can already tell he’s an incredible listener.

Frimbo nods.

“Okay... well. Time kinda freaks me out. Because then I start thinking about why it’s even here in the first place. Matter and energy are already weird enough, especially when you really consider the fact they just appeared out of nothingness one day, but time is just mind blowing. Why time?”

“I suppose time exists so things can change?” Frimbo suggests. “Without time, there’s nothing.”

“Exactly!” I reply. “So why is there something? Why am I here, aware of myself, having this conversation?”

“I don’t know,” admits Frimbo.

Suddenly, the same menacing howl from before erupts out through woods around us, this time a little closer.

Frimbo glances around in alarm. “What the hell is that?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him. “It’s been following me the whole time.” “Is it an animal?” the hiker continues.
“I haven’t gotten a look at it,” I explain. “It never gets very close, just

kinda hangs around and spooks me once in a while.”
Frimbo narrows his eyes. “Wait, really?”
I nod.
“So it just seems frightening,” the hiker clarifies, “and maybe it is a

little... but at the end of the day it’s not gonna hurt you because it’s not really a part of your journey, it’s just hanging around on the outside.”

“Yep,” I reply. “That about covers it.”

Frimbo cracks a smile. “I know what it is. That’s the physical manifestation of the crushing existential weight of your own sentient self awareness.”

“Wait... what?” I stammer.

“It’s a living object,” Frimbo clarifies. “Which makes sense because we’re in a living object tingler. Honestly, at first I thought me and you were gonna bang, but this makes way more sense.”

He has a point. The author, Chuck Tingle, only writes four kinds of stories: unicorn, bigfoot, dinosaur, and living object. As a slightly meta character, I was already aware this was a living object tingler, and so far the crushing weight of my own sentience would make a lot of sense as an erotic partner.

“What should I do?” I question.

“Well, ignoring these howls hasn’t seemed to make you any less anxious,” offers the hiker. “Maybe instead of focusing on ignoring them, you should consider coming to terms with them.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” I ask.

Frimbo shakes his head. “Being at peace with something and pretending it’s not there are very, very different.”

“Okay,” I reply, nodding.

A howl suddenly erupts through the fresh, northwestern air again, causing both me and Frimbo to jump. This time, however, the sound is slightly closer than before. Within the bellowing cry I can make out the strange, chartering tones of several voices talking over one another, asking questions that never receive an answer.

How am I here?
What is existence?
Why does it matter?
“You’re right,” I tell Frimbo with a nod. “That’s exactly what it is.” “Maybe you should go take a look,” my friend replies. “See if the

weight of these questions is really as crushing as you think it is.”
I stand up and throw my bag back over my shoulder, reaching down

and giving Frimbo a firm handshake. “Thanks again,” I offer. “This has been really helpful.”

“No problem” my new friend says, then waves goodbye as I continue on my way.

This time, instead of heading forward along the trail, I take off into the thick, dark woods, making my way towards the source of this strange and frightening howl that’s been plaguing my journey towards enlightenment.

Deeper and deeper I push into the thick woods, my heart slamming hard within my chest as my eyes dart from tree to tree. I’m searching for any signs of movement, but this part of the lush, natural landscape is somehow even more still and quiet than before. It all just feels profoundly empty.

Rounding a large tree, I suddenly stop in my tracks when a familiar figure appears.

“Oh fuck,” I blurt, taken by surprise and stumbling back a bit.
There standing before me is Frimbo, the man smiling wide. “Hey.”
“I thought you were back on the trail,” I stammer. “How’d you get all

the way out here before I did?”
The hiker doesn’t say a word, just leans his head back and lets out a

bellowing cry that I instantly recognize. The sound sweeps across me like a powerful force of nature, consuming my body in a cascade of unanswerable thoughts and endless, cosmic calculations.

“You’re the creature?” I question. “But that doesn’t make any sense!”

“Exactly!” Frimbo replies with a slight chuckle. “That’s the whole point.”

“What is?” I blurt, a little frustrated.

“That it doesn’t have to make sense,” Frimbo informs me. “How was I back on the trail and over here in the woods at the same time? It’s not something that can be explained.”

“There has to be an answer,” I counter.

“Maybe, but that answer doesn’t have to be known for you to live a life at peace with the world around you.”

I take a deep breath and then slowly let it out, allowing Frimbo’s words to sink in. “I suppose you’re right,” I offer.

Frimbo nods, then gradually begins to break apart before my very eyes, his form stretching and contorting until it becomes a large, swirling mass of unanswerable existential questions, a physical manifestation of the crushing weigh of my own sentient self awareness.

This sight could’ve easily been too much for me to handle just hours earlier, but I realize now that Frimbo has been right this whole time.

It’s okay to ask these questions, in fact, it’s great! But belligerently demanding an answer to every single one of them, especially the biggest questions of all, just isn’t healthy.

The second I finally come to terms with Frimbo is the second I’m suddenly struck with just how handsome he really is. Cosmic ambiguity had always been quite frustrating for me, but now that I’ve accepted it, I’m free to enjoy this moment for exactly what it is: a fascinating new experience.

“Thank you for helping me,” is all that I can think to say.

“Don’t mention it,” Frimbo offers in return. “I’m just glad that you could get something out of this journey.”

“I think I finally have,” I reply with a nod.

The two of us stand here in silence for a moment longer, the sexual tension between us growing larger and larger by the second.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” Frimbo finally asks.

“I’m sure there’s a few more things I could learn to come to terms with,” I coo, taking a step forward and reaching out to place my hand over the top of Frimbo’s quickly swelling cock.

Suddenly, the sentient living object and me come together in a passionate embrace, kissing one another deeply as our hands begin to explore the topography of our bodies.

For being a swirling mass of existential questions, Frimbo has an incredible set of abs, chiseled to perfection after eons of intense mental workouts. A let my fingers drift slowly across his form, lower and lower until, finally, they return to his now rock hard cock.

“Looks like someone’s excited,” I coo, then wrap my fingers tightly around the living concept’s shaft.

Frimbo lets out a long, satisfied moan, tilting his head back as the sound drifts out from between his lips. It’s a modified version of that same howl I’ve come to know, only this time it’s not scary at all. In fact, this time it seem fun and inviting, ready to discover.

I begin to pump my fist slowly up and down across Frimbo’s length, taking my time with him as he moves his hips in unison with my stokes. Eventually, my craving for cock becomes just too powerful and I drop down to my knees before the enormous cosmic spiral, taking his dick between my lips.

I quickly begin to suck Frimbo off, pumping my head up and down across his length while I cradle his hanging balls. The living concept seems to enjoy this quite a bit, and chuckles to himself as I playfully pop his cock out of my mouth and slowly drag my tongue from the base of his rod to the very tip.

Of course, nothing could prepare Frimbo for what’s next.

I kiss the head of the crushing existential weight of sentient self- awareness’s shaft and then open wide, swallowing his dick once more. This time, however, I refuse to pull back, allowing the enormous cock to plummet farther and farther down into my neck. I relax my throat and somehow allow Frimbo’s enormous rod past my gag reflex, the giant shaft finally coming to rest at its hilt.

Now fully stuffed, I gaze up at the swirling mass of existential questions above me, gladly submitting myself to him. Frimbo places his hands on the back of my head and holds me in this position for as along as I can manage, savoring his station of control.

Finally, I’m forced to pull back with a sputtering gasp, spit dangling from my lips as I take in a huge gulp of air.

“I need more cock,” I blurt, belligerent with lust now.

Quickly, I strip away my clothing, tossing it to the side in a rapidly growing pile of tangled fabric. Eventually, I find myself completely nude before the living concept, fully exposed without an ounce of anxiety to show for it.

I turn around and fall forward on my hands and knees, popping my ass out towards Frimbo and wiggling my rump from side to side. With one hand I reach back and slap a cheek, then hold myself open for the living object to get a good look at my tightly puckered butthole.

“You like what you see?” I coo.
Frimbo nods.
“What are you waiting for then?” I snarl. “Fuck me!”
The crushing existential weight of sentient self-awareness doesn’t

need to be told twice, climbing down into position behind me and aligning his mammoth rod with my aching butthole. He pushes forward a bit, teasing my anal rim with his incredible girth before pulling back.

“Do it!” I demand. “Pound that tight gay ass with your existentially girthy cock you swirling cosmic fuck!”

The dirty talk finally pushes Frimbo over the edge, and the next thing I know he’s thrusting forward with a deep, powerful swoop.

I let out a startled yelp as the living concept enters me, not entirely prepared for his size. Taking Frimbo into my mouth was one thing, but deep inside my asshole is another entirely. My fingers dig deep into the soft dirt before me, bracing myself as the crushing existential weight of sentient self- awareness begins to pump slowly in and out of my body.

Fortunately, Frimbo is a gracious lover, taking his time with me and allowing me a moment to adjust to his incredible thickness. My asshole is stretched to it’s absolute limits as discomfort floods my body, but the longer we stay like this, the more that discomfort begins to transform into a pleasant ache. Soon enough, Frimbo is moving in and out of my body, gracefully rocking his hips against my ass in slow but potent movements.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” I start to mumble to myself over and over again, my eyes rolling back into my head as the words tumble forth from my lips in a blissed out mantra.

Eventually, the crushing existential weight of sentient self awareness and me fall into a steady rhythm, our bodies slamming against each other as they begin to pass the pleasure back and forth like an ever escalating feedback loop.

I reach down between my legs and grab ahold of my dick, immediately getting to work as I beat myself off in time with the powerful slams up my butthole. Now there are two distinct sources of gratification moving through my frame, mixing together and creating an unexpected cocktail of sensation. As these feelings build, my body starts to tremble and quake, the first sign of an impending orgasm.

Suddenly, I’m seized with a powerful need to change positions. I could easily cum right here and now, blowing my load all over the forest floor, but I want to face this cosmic concept head on, to accept that fact that I may never understand him, but he’ll always be here.

I pull Frimbo’s cock out of my ass and climb to my feet, turning around to face the living object.

At first, Frimbo looks confused, but as I position myself before him he quickly understands what’s happening.

Soon enough, I’m launching myself into the air, wrapping my arms and legs tightly around the living concept’s muscular body. I hang here for a moment as the crushing existential weight of sentient self awareness positions his cock below my now reamed back door, then suddenly slam down onto his girthy member.

“God damn! That dick is so fucking good,” I cry out as Frimbo impales my body across his girth.

This time, the two of us don’t require a warm up. We immediately fall into sync with one another, the living concept using his enormous arms to pump my body up and down across his length. He’s hammering into my asshole with everything he’s got now, slamming me hard as the escalating tidal waves of pleasure pulse through my frame.

The force of gravity give’s Frimbo even more power than before, and it’s not long before I’m shaking wildly, teetering on the edge of orgasm.

“Oh fuck!” I scream. “I’m gonna cum so fucking hard!”

The next thing I know, a mighty climax is ripping through me, taking over every nerve ending and flooding me with a pleasure unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I let out a blood-curdling scream as hot white jizz ejects hard from the head of my shaft, splattering out across Frimbo’s bare chest.

The sensations flowing through me seem as though they could last forever, but when they finally pass Frimbo lets me down tot the ground. I quickly position myself on my knees before the handsome living concept, staring up at him with cock-drunk eyes as I cradle his hanging balls.

“Do it!” I comment. “Blow that cosmic spunk all over my fucking face!”

The crushing existential weight of my sentient self-awareness beats his dick frantically above me, only getting in a few brisk pumps before he’s erupting with an orgasm of his own. The living object leans his head back and lets out own final howl, that once terrifying groan now filling me with a strange sense of wonder and excitement.

Warm ropes of milky cum eject hard from the head of Frimbo’s shaft, splattering out across my smiling face below. I open my mouth wide and catch as much of the falling seed as I can, swallowing hungrily and then going back for more. The living object’s jizz keeps flowing, cascading down into my gullet as I continue to swallow until, finally, I’ve gobbled up every ounce.

“That was amazing,” I gush, wiping my mouth as I climb to my feet. “I think I finally understand.”

“Understand what?” the crushing existential weight of sentient self- awareness questions.

“That’s it’s okay to not understand,” I offer. “The universe is a little confusing, and that’s okay. You can still be consumed with wonder and curiously, without suffocating under the weight of existential cosmic dread.”

Frimbo smiles. “I’m not going anywhere, so you might as well see me with a little more awe than fear”

“Exactly,” I offer.

The two of us stand here in silence for a moment, enjoying each other’s quiet company.

“I should be going,” I finally inform Frimbo. “I’ve got one more state to cross. I’m gonna buckle down and focus on the trail ahead of me for a while.”

“What are you gonna do when you make it to the shore?” the living concept questions.

“Probably sit on the beach and gaze out at the waves, think on some big questions for a while,” I offer with a smile. “But this time, I’m not gonna be afraid.”