Pounded By The Handsome Zombie Elevator Who Is Also A Lawyer - (Classic Tingler Revisited)

today marks release of new paperback collection LEGALLY POUNDED: SEVEN EROTIC TALES OF TINGLEVERSE JUSTICE which is a collection of stories about handsome bigfoot doctor lawyers and gay t-rex law firms that all can enjoy. seems like perfect timing because politics and law tend to twist themselves together and lately chuck has been TOO DISTRACTED TO WRITE MUCH just watching these dang voter polls come in.

anyway seemed like a pretty good opportunity to post a CLASSIC LEGAL TINGLER that chuck has always thought is a little overlooked. does not get as much attention as a dang law firm of t-rex but it is from similar era and is about a handsome zombie elevator lawyer which is OF COURSE A CLASSIC POUND.

please enjoy POUNDED BY THE HANDSOME ZOMBIE ELEVATOR WHO IS ALSO A LAWYER

Lintoy loves his job as a high profile defense attorney with an office on the top floor of an exclusive forty-story high rise. But when the elevators go down for maintenance, Lintoy finds himself doing anything he can to avoid the office, and the exhausting stairwell trek it takes to get there.

After noticing that one of the elevators is closed off, but still working, Lintoy decides to take his chances, but quickly finds himself trapped in a terrifying zombie lift. As time passes, however, Lintoy and this sentient undead elevator realize they have more in common than they once thought, and soon enough the two of them are going down… on each other!

This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human on zombie elevator lawyer action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and gay sentient undead lift love.

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POUNDED BY THE HANDSOME ZOMBIE ELEVATOR WHO IS ALSO A LAWYER

By Chuck Tingle

People talk about their morning commute being atrocious, but if they’ve never worked on the top floor of the Parbo Building in New York City then they’ve never experienced true frustration on their way to work. Yes, sitting in your car or the back of a taxi as it crawls through the city streets can be annoying, and if you find yourself transferring from subway stop to subway stop, that can be irritating, too; but typically once you arrive at your own place of business, things start to level out pretty quick. Not so for the workers here on the upper floors of Parbo, at least not since the elevators broke last month.

Every Monday through Friday since the elevators shut down, our stairway has been packed with sweaty office workers lugging their briefcases up and down the forty-story building with grimaces of true anger. I myself am one of those workers, heaped with the added frustration of needing to appear presentable when I arrive wherever I’m headed.

As a defense attorney, I need to look as presentable as possible, and in this ruthless city nobody’s gonna let some stupid excuse like a broken elevator fly. Here, you show up, you do you job and you do it well.

Fortunately, most of my work lately has been out of the office, running around the city from courthouse to courthouse as I make statements and collect information for my upcoming case. In any other situation, I’d be frustrated by this runaround, but since it happens to be keeping me away from the forty-story climb, I’ve managed to savor it for now.

Today, however, I’ve realized that I need to grab some documents from the office, meaning a fair bit of exercise is lurking in my immediate future.

“You okay?” the Taxi driver says, glancing back at me through the rear view mirror. “I’m sorry, I just had to ask.”

It’s not typical for a driver in the city to get this personal, but apparently the pained expression on my face warrants enough concern to speak up.

“I’m alright,” I tell him. “It’s gonna be a long day.”

“Tell me about it,” the driver confirms. “We’re headed to Parbo, you work on one of the higher floors?”

“Top floor, actually,” I admit.

The driver can’t help but chuckle loudly as this, shaking his head from side to side in an expression of both empathy and amusement. “I’ve dropped a few folks off here today already,” explains the cabby. “You’ve got the longest trek though.”

I let out a deep sigh.

“When they gonna have those elevators fixed?” the driver continues.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “Soon hopefully. I heard one of them running the other day, actually, but they haven’t let anyone on it yet.”

The driver scoffs loudly. “Well, damn. If it’s running, why don’t you just take it?”

I consider his words for a moment, at first confused by the question until eventually realizing what the driver is saying. “You mean just slip past the yellow tape?” I ask.

“Sure,” the driver nods. “If it’s working, it’s working. There are so many building regulations, you know? Even if the elevator can take you up there, youknow it’s gonna take them another week to fill out the paperwork. If I was you, I’d just ride it.”

Suddenly, the taxi cab lurches to a stop. I’d completely lost track of where we were, but as I look up I quickly realize that we’ve arrived at my building.

I hand the driver his cash and then thank him for his advice before stepping out onto the curb and gazing up at the enormous tower before me. The idea of climbing to the top of this thing is utterly absurd, and I’m suddenly astonished that I’ve been able to do it in the past.

I take a deep breath and head inside.

The lobby is full of hustling, bustling office workers, men and women begrudgingly making their way to and from the stairwell. Off to the side is the bay of elevators, every one of them covered with strips of yellow tape and warning signs.

It appears that nobody is working on them today, however, as the construction crew is nowhere to be found.

Trying to remain as casual as possible, I slowly begin to wander away from my pack of suits, slipping into the elevator lobby and then searching for any signs of operation.

Suddenly, a faint ding rings out, just loud enough for only me to hear it. I turn around to spot one of the elevators sliding open.

Knowing that my time is short, I slip inside.

The second I find myself in the embrace of this small lift, relief washes over me. It seemed a little crazy at first, but now that I’m here, I can’t even imagine huffing it up and down those stairs even one more time. The taxi driver was right.

I reach out and press the button for floor forty, but as the elevator starts to close I gasp in shock. There, on the inner side of the metal doors, is a large face, its skin pale and it’s eyes shut tight. I’ll admit, the face itself is quite handsome, but as far as I can tell it is completely lifeless.

“Oh my god,” I blurt, realizing now this this elevator is deceased.

I reach out and try to stop the doors from closing but it’s too late, and then next thing I know I’m traveling slowly upward. The pace is much more gradual than usual, and as we move, the lights above me start to flicker dangerously, threatening to plunge me into darkness at any moment.

“You’re okay,” I remind myself. “It’s just a dead elevator, it still works. You’ll get to your floor soon enough.”

The indicator lights above me continue to climb as my heart pounds hard within my chest.

Just about halfway up the building, I hear a long, low moan emanating out through the lift around me. I jump in surprise, then spin around in an attempt to determine where the sound is coming from.

“Hello?” I cry out.

“Hello,” the voice groans in return.

I quickly realize that the word has emerged from the face before me. The eyes are still closed, but the lips are moving.

“Oh my god,” I stammer. “Are you okay? I thought you were dead.”

“I am dead,” the elevator moans.

I hesitate, not quite sure what to make of this. “How can you be dead if you’re talking to me right now?”

“I’m a zombie,” the elevator replies.

An icy chill suddenly shoots through my body. I’d been afraid before, but now I’m terrified.

Not knowing what else to do, I reach out and start to frantically press the already lit button for my floor, acting as though this will somehow make the lift travel faster.

“You don’t need to be afraid,” the elevator tells me, but I don’t believe him.

“You’re a zombie,” I remind the lift. “You eat brains.”

“A zombie elevator,” he clarifies. “I only eat elevator brains. Gears and electronic panels mostly.”

There’s something about this that makes perfect sense, but it doesn’t little to quell my anxiety. I need to get out of here, and I need to get out now.

Suddenly, I have an idea. I press the button for the next floor, number thirty-five. “I’ll walk from here,” I tell the elevator.

The lift immediately lurches to a stop and the doors slide open. I step through, heading towards the stairwell as fast as I can. I don’t look back even once.

My time at the office is actually much longer than expected. While I’d initially planned on grabbing a few papers and then heading back out the door for the evening, a few new pieces of evidence have thrown our case for a loop. Now the entire firm is in a tailspin, trying desperately to come at things from a brand new angle. I end up working for hours, the sun eventually setting over the distant horizon and then disappearing completely as the city lights twinkle to life.

Eventually, we find a solution that will play for now. It’s not perfect, and our case is definitely still in jeopardy, but it will have to do.

I’m the last to leave, closing up and locking the door behind me as I swim in a state of utter exhaustion. I take two steps towards the stairwell and then stop myself, turning slowly towards the nearby elevator bay.

My first experience with the undead elevator was terrifying, but at the end of the day, I ended up where I was headed safe and sound. The sentient lift seemed harmless enough, just a little frightening.

In any other situation, I’d just take the stairs, but right now I’m just too tired.

Cautiously, I walk over to the elevator bay and press the button, that same soft ding filling my ears as the doors slowly open up for me.

I step inside.

Once again, the doors close to reveal the solemn face of a deceased elevator, eyes closed and skin pale.

I reach out and press the down button, then jump back in alarm when the lift’s eyes fly open. This marks the first time that I’ve actually seen the elevator’s irises, and their brilliant yellow hue fills me with dread.

“Hello again,” the elevator moans.

I say nothing, just back up against the far wall and pretend that everything’s fine as the lift begins to gradually travel downward. I clutch my briefcase tightly against me, as if that could somehow protect me from this strange undead entity.

Suddenly, only three floors down, the elevator lurches to a halt.

“What’s going on?” I question, trying to play it cool but unable to hide the frantic nature of my tone.

“It appears we’re stuck,” the elevator informs me.

I just stare at him blankly, hoping he’s simply trying to make an exceptionally bad joke.

“Seriously?” I question.

“I’m afraid so,” the zombie elevator confirms. “You see that button down below? The blue one?”

I nod.

“Push that and it’ll send the fire department to come help you out,” explains the sentient lift.

I reach forward and then stop myself, realizing suddenly that this elevator was clearly marked out of order. I’m not certain of the consequences for disobeying a warning this blatant, but I’d hate to put my law firm in a bad position with the building managers. We’ve already got enough on our plate as it is.

“You don’t want them to come?” asks the elevator.

“I just need a moment to think,” I tell him.

I step back and lean against the wall, not quite sure what to do with myself.

“I can try to get things started again,” the zombie elevator finally offers. “It might take some time, though.”

I nod. “Sounds good.”
 “You can get some work done while you wait,” the lift tells me. “I don’t mind.”

This isn’t the worst idea, I suddenly realize. I carefully climb down to the floor, sitting cross-legged now as I open up my briefcase and begin to pull out my documents. Maybe I can find a better way of approaching this case while I wait.

I sit like this for a while, my eyes scanning over the papers in a state of deep concentration. To be honest, I eventually completely forget that I’m stuck in an elevator, and I’m only reminded of this fact when the lift himself interrupts me.

“You know, that second piece of evidence actually helps you out,” the zombie finally moans.

I chuckle to myself. “Oh yeah? What are you, a lawyer?”

“Yes,” the elevator tells me.

I laugh louder now, until I suddenly realize that he’s being serious.

“Wait really?” I question.

The undead lift smiles. “I’ve worked plenty of high profile cases over the years. In fact, Zombie Elevator Magazine listed me as the number one most powerful zombie elevator attorney in the entire city.”

“What’s your name?” I question. “I’m Lintoy.”

“I’m Bork Yorp,” the sentient lift offers.

I have my doubts about the undead elevator’s legal advice, but without a reason to say no, I finally turn around my pages for Bork to read more easily. “Okay, show me.”

The next thing I know, Bork launches into a competent and clear explanation of how we can use this new evidence in our favor, citing a variety of laws and previous decisions. Despite the words coming out as long, zombie moans, he’s incredibly good at making his points, and within minutes I’m completely engrossed in the sentient elevator’s point of view. He’s coming at our case from an entirely fresh perspective, and it’s exactly the angle we should’ve been taking from day one.

When Bork finally finishes, I stare at him in stunned silence, my mouth hanging slightly open. It takes me a moment to gather my senses.

“You weren’t kidding,” I finally say, dumbfounded.

“I know law,” explains the elevator. “I’ve worked this building for twenty seven years; during my life and my afterlife.”

It’s now that I finally see this lift for who he really is, a kind man with good in his heart who simply wants to help. Granted, his heart may no longer have a beat, but that doesn’t mean it’s not full of love.

My fear has melted away entirely now, replaced with a great warmth and appreciation.

As me and Bork sit here gazing into one another’s eyes, however, yet another powerful emotion begins to bubble it’s way up inside of my body; arousal.

Immediately, I try to push these feelings away, uncomfortable with what they could possibly mean. I’m not gay, and having these thoughts is a line I’m not sure I can cross.

The emotions that swirl through me are persistent, however, growing and growing until, finally, I realize that my sexuality is not something I’m not ready to define just yet. I’ve never been attracted to another man in the past, but the world of handsome elevators is something that’s entirely new to me.

Bork smiles, recognizing that something within my expression has changed. His powers of observation are uncanny. “Everything alright?” the undead elevator questions.

“Yeah,” I tell him with a nod. “It’s just…” I trail off, not quite ready to finish the thought.

“You can tell me,” Bork coaxes. “It’s just us.”
 “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually kind of glad to be trapped in here with you,” I admit. “I was so afraid to get close to a zombie elevator that I never gave you a chance.”

“It’s okay,” Bork replies, forgiving me.

“It’s not,” I insist, climbing to my feet once more. “I want to pay you back.”

Bork looks confused at first, and then a wave of recognition crosses his pale face as I begin to strut towards him. At this point, I feel as though I’ve let go of my inhibitions entirely, allowing the potent arousal that flows through me to take change. Before, I’d been trembling with fear, but now I’m trembling with anticipation.

Eventually, I find myself pressed up against Bork’s handsome face in the door, so close that I can feel his warm breath against my body. The tension between us is absolutely crushing at this point, ready to break at any moment as we stand in silence, until suddenly I move forward and kiss the elevator passionately on his lips.

The next thing I know, Bork and me are making out furiously, my hands roaming across his hard surface as I explore every bit of his elevator body. Lower and lower my fingers drift until, eventually, I find Bork’s massive cock, hard and swollen as it protrudes out from his lower half.

The second that I wrap my grip tight around the zombie elevator’s shaft he lets out a satisfied groan, reeling from the sensation.

“Going down?” I coo playfully, then drop to my knees before the handsome lift.

I pump my hands up and down across Bork’s shaft a few times, starting slow and then gaining speed until I’m beating him off with furious enthusiasm. I reach up with my other hand and begin to cradle the elevator’s balls, watching as he pumps back against me with his mechanical hips. I can tell that the sentient lift is enjoying himself immensely, and providing him with this pleasure is satisfying in a way that I never knew was possible. I love giving myself over to him, submitting myself to this undead creature and happily providing him with the best fuck of his life.

Eventually driven mad with lust, I open my mouth wide and swallow the elevator’s gigantic cock. His girth is enormous, and at first it’s hard to get my lips around the thickness of Bork’s member, but somehow I manage to position myself in such a way that makes a blowjob possible. The second that I find the proper alignment, I begin to push my face up and down across Bork’s dick, running my tongue playfully along his shaft while it remains firmly planted within my mouth.

Even though it’s a struggle to consume Bork already, my excitement has no bounds, and soon enough I find myself pushing my head farther and farther down onto his giant rod. Eventually, the head of the elevator’s cock finds itself pressed up against the limits of my gag reflex, and my first instinct is to pull back abruptly. Somehow, I manage to center myself instead, relaxing my neck and plunging even farther down until my face is pressed up hard against the elevator door. Bork’s dick is fully consumed at this point, forced to the hilt as I hold myself in this deep throat position. Above me, Bork lets out another rumbling moan, clearly enjoying himself.

Eventually, I run out of air and am forced to pull back with a loud gasp, spit hanging in a long glistening strand between my lips and the head of the elevator’s cock.

“I never thought I’d end up with a zombie elevator lawyer, but I’m so glad that I did,” I gush. “You’re incredible.”

“You are,” the lift tells me with a smile.

“I want you to fuck me up the ass,” I pant.

With no complaints from Bork, I climb up to my feet and turn around, bending over and popping my butt out towards the undead elevator. I slowly unbutton my work slacks, slipping them down across my ass as I wiggle my exposed rump from side to side.

“You like that?” I coo.

“I love it,” the elevator moans.

I push back a bit, just barely allowing the tip of Bork’s shaft to touch my tightly puckered asshole. I spend a few moments teasing him like this, allowing the erotic pressure to build until, finally, it explodes when I push myself back against the lift’s member.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t quite prepared for the sensation of Bork entering me. My sphincter is immediately stretched wide, pulled to the absolute limit by the elevator zombie’s giant rod. Despite the fact that I’m the one in control here, a startled yelp escapes my lips.

I refuse to pull back, however, shutting my eyes tight and gritting my teeth as I give my body some time to adjust. Eventually, I start to move myself back and forth, allowing Bork’s enormous rod to impale my body. It takes a while, but soon enough the sensations of discomfort start to slip away, replaced instead by a deep and powerful ache. The warm sensations of pleasure continue to grow within me, starting in the pit of my stomach and then blooming out across my arms and legs, eventually overwhelming my entire being.

By now, my slams back against Bork’s dick have found a confident rhythm, steadily allowing him to hammer away at my maxed out butthole.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” I start repeating over and over again, the words falling out of my mouth in a blissful mantra.

Faster and faster I slam myself back against Bork, the sensation of prostate orgasm causing me to tremble and shake wildly. I reach down and start to beat myself off, aching to blow.

“Not yet,” the zombie elevator suddenly interjects. “I want you to cum up my ass.”

I stop, glancing around the small cube. “Where’s your butthole?”

“See that panel in the wall?” offers Bork. “Open it up.”

I pull Bork’s cock out of my ass and then straighten up, strolling over to a hidden panel. Were I not specifically looking for the thing, I would’ve never seen it.

“Can you get it open?” Bork questions, hopefully.

I inspect the panel and find that it’s held into place by four small screws, but they’re loose enough to maneuver with my fingers if I try hard enough. Soon enough, I’m carefully removing the screws, then pulling the panel away from the elevator wall.

I gasp when I see what’s inside, a beautiful butthole at waist height.

“Now it’s your turn,” the living elevator tells me.

I saddle up into position, aligning my member with his tight hole and then pushing forward with a long, confident swoop.

“God damn,” the zombie elevator moans as I enter him.

The undead lift’s ass is tight as can be, wrapped around my cock with its warm embrace.

I waste no time getting to work, thrusting into the elevator’s butthole slowly at first and then gradually picking up speed. It’s not long before I’m hammering away at Bork, the sensations of impending orgasm flooding through my system yet again.

“I’m so close,” I tell Bork. “I’m so fucking close!”

“Do it!” the elevator commands. “Blow your load up my fucking asshole!”

I’m hammering into him as hard as I can now, the sensations of pleasure building and building until they rip through my body in a powerful wave. I throw my head back and let out a frantic scream, jizz blasting hard from the head of my cock and filling Bork to the brim.

When I finally finish and pull out, the semen comes tumbling after, running down the wall of the zombie elevator in a pearly streak.

Immediately, I turn around and crouch before Bork’s massive dong. I reach up and begin beating him of enthusiastically.

“Come on! Come on!” I beg. “Shower me with your fucking zombie elevator load!”
 The entire lift is trembling now, quaking hard as Bork grows closer and closer to climax. If I was any less focused I’d be terrified, but right now the only thing I can think about his getting Bork off.

“Oh my god!” the elevator suddenly cries.

Suddenly, a torrent of jizz bursts forth from Bork’s shaft, shooting out across my face in a series of sticky white ropes. The cum crisscrosses my smiling face, running down my cheeks on either side as I open wide and catch the final blast within my mouth.

There’s a loud crack and a jolt as the elevator suddenly comes lose, slowly continuing downward along it’s track.

“You’re fixed!” I cry, laughing through the glaze of cum upon my lips.

“Looks like it,” Bork replies happily.

Eventually, we arrived at the bottom floor and I stand up. The doors start to open but I reach out to close them again.

“What is it?” Bork questions.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I finally admit. “I mean, you’re perfect for me.”

The elevator lets out a long sigh, as if finally admitting something to himself. “You’re perfect for me, too,” he says.

“How about you take me back upstairs and I can bring in some more documents?” I question. “I think we could use your help on this case.”

“I’d love that,” Bork tells me.

“Who knows,” I reply with a mischievous smile. “Maybe we’ll get stuck along the way and have to pound ourselves loose again.”