BUMPORK - TIMELINE #13421415

(Timeline Tuesday #56)

Bumporks are small creatures, approximately the three inches in length. Their physiology is a mixture of mammalian and insectoid, falling somewhere between the two and defying specific classification on this timeline.

This species is almost universally seen as unpleasant and strange. They feature a shelled body that’s perfectly rounded, with twenty small legs protruding from the base. They use these insect legs to scuttle around, carrying them chaotically from place to place in wild, zig-zag patterns. The head of a bumpork has leathery skin, with a distinct growth along the eyes and a large humped nose. Bumporks also feature a constant bucktoothed grin, and two long protrusions of hair hanging down from either side of their face. This facial hair is similar to a moustache, although it grows from below the creature’s mouth. The colors of a bumpork are vibrant and loud, with a white shell and multicolored spots.

The only thing more off-putting than the bumpork’s appearance, however, is its distinct, bellowing laugher. This species is constantly chortling, likely because this is a bumpork’s only method of communication. It might not be a problem if not for the creature’s grating tone, a sound that never seems to end.

Because they can be so irritating, Bumpork’s are quickly becoming an endangered species on this timeline. There is currently no governmental body set up to protect them. While homeowners once dreaded finding a termite or rat infestations, a clan of laughing bumporks in the attic is now seen as much worse nuisance.

When bumporks breed, they typically produce a brood of several hundred eggs. Through examples in popular culture, a practice known as “bumporking” has developed. Bumporking happens when enemies will bring a bumpork egg cluster to the home or workplace of someone they don’t like, hiding them away for these creatures to hatch in the coming days.