Sentient Bisexual Ketchup And Mustard Get Me Off - (Classic Tingler Revisited)

greetings buckaroos gather round for another talk from worlds greatest author chuck WAXING POETICALLY about all kinds of trot in classic tingler revisited series. ARE YOU FAN OF BASEBALL? as man name of chuck this is a trot i very much enjoy but lately i have been thinking about the WHY of enjoyment and wanted to talk about this way.

out in billings there is minor league team name of BILLINGS MUSTANGS and you know chuck is a big fan, hollering about balls and strikes and other ways at the park. there are many memories of this way, thinking on watching an evening game with son jon and KLOWY and remember all the details of these moments. sound of bats crackin away and feeling of montana breeze and smell of spaghetti bag in chucks pocket with some piping hot spaghetti then son jon says what the heck chuck youre making a mess and then chuck eats with MORE CARE.

but for all chuck remembers about these moments i have no recollection of the score at all, not even who won. others find these baseball statistics every interesting and hang on every moment but for chuck it is not really about the game itself its about who you are there with and these moments of proving love as a COMMUNITY and this feeling is probably why baseball has thrived so much in its way. we have dang SONGS about baseball that every buckaroo knows like its happy birthday.

thing is, most activities are like this, not just baseball. as we trot through this timeline there are all kinds of things to do, but the memories we make are rarely about the THING ITSELF. important stuff is what happens in between, whether you are sitting on your own enjoying solo moment or crafting memories with your bud or multiple buds.

in keeping with this theme please enjoy SENTIENT BISEXUAL KETCHUP AND MUSTARD GET ME OFF a story about what happens between those strikes and balls when your out at the big game. dont forget to remember these moments in your own trot, its the between stuff where all the dang gems lie.

When Lindsey is offered company tickets to a big game of her favorite baseball team, The Lobsters, she can’t believe her luck.

Even more amazing, however, is the man she finds herself sitting next to. Now the physical manifestation of Ketchup is chatting it up with Lindsey, and erotic tensions are high, but when Ketchup offers some of his own tomato goodness for Lindsey’s empty hot dog, she finds herself craving more.

That’s when the beautiful manifestation of Mustard arrives, and soon enough Lindsey finds herself enjoying both condiments in the middle of a hardcore bisexual encounter that will have your mouth watering for more!

This erotic tale is 4,200 words of sizzling bisexual human on sentient ketchup and mustard action.

(Originally released on November 23, 2019)

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SENTIENT BISEXUAL KETCHUP AND MUSTARD GET ME OFF

By Chuck Tingle

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always loved baseball. Whether it’s on TV or in person with the crowd roaring around me, I just can’t get enough of the game. There’s something about the crack of the bat when it hits a fastball at just the right angle, the way your heart skips a beat when your favorite team finally makes a play and overcomes the odds that have been stacked up against them.

Unfortunately, with my new job, I rarely have a chance to indulge in watching my favorite pastime. I’m trying to make a good impression at Gorb And Gorb, the law firm I now work at, and so far that has meant putting in way more hours than a normal human should be required to give. I’m not exactly happy about it, but it was difficult to get my position and I know that if I let things slip, someone else is bound to come up and take it from me.

Still, it’s hard to make the office such a huge part of your life.

Fortunately, all of this extra time is starting to pay off. I’m getting mentions from my supervisors, knowing nods and appreciative comments about just how much time I’ve been dedicating to the firm.

Even more importantly, they’re starting to get to know me as a person, cracking jokes or asking about things other than when the latest documents are gonna be filed.

“Whoa, Lindsey,” my boss, Kromp suddenly states loudly, causing me to look up from my paperwork. “You’re a Lobster fan, huh?”

The Lobsters are our local Major League Baseball team, but how Kromp was able to know I loved them is a question that’s not entirely clear at first. “Yeah,” I finally reply, a confused look on my face. “How did you know?”

“Your socks,” he observes, pointing to the colorful fabric that pokes out below the leg of my pantsuit.

The second he says this I’m utterly mortified. Looking professional in my new position is something that I’ve put a huge amount of effort into, toning down my look for a perfectly acceptable business wardrobe that won’t rustle any feathers. Now, I’m suddenly faced with the realization that my brilliantly colored baseball socks are completely visible.

“Oh!” I blurt. “Yeah! Sorry about that.”

“Sorry?” Kromp replies. “It’s totally fine. I love The Lobsters too.”

“I mean…” I stammer, then suddenly realize how ridiculous it is to apologize right now. I shift gears. “I wore them because there’s a game tonight. I’ve gotta stay here and finish up on the new case, but I can still show my support!”

Kromp smiles. “Listen, I know you’ve been putting in a lot of effort lately. You’re going above and beyond, and everyone has noticed. You should take the night off and see the game.”

I laugh, thrilled and flattered to be recognized in this way. “Thank you! I would love to, but it might be too late to find good tickets.”

Kromp reaches into the breast pocket of his suit and pulls out a single paper ticket, immediately causing my breath to catch in my throat. “You do now,” my boss informs me, handing it over.

“Oh my god,” I stammer, taking the ticket and turning it over in my hands, instinctually inspecting it to make sure the thing’s real. “This is amazing.”

I see how good the seat is and then gasp again.

“You better head out soon or you’re gonna miss it,” Kromp continues. “Like I said, I really appreciate the extra effort. Those company tickets a free tonight so I figured you should get one.”

“Thank you so much,” I reply, gathering my coat and heading towards the door.

“Oh wait,” my boss suddenly blurts out, stopping me in my tracks. “There’s one more thing.”

I turn around to face him, a curious look on my face. “Yeah?”

“We gave the other ticket to ketchup,” Kromp explains. “So you’ll have a great guy to enjoy the game with.”

I just stare at my boss blankly, not entirely sure what he’s trying to say. “What?” is all that I can think to question, the world falling out of my mouth limply.

“Ketchup,” my boss repeats. “Like the condiment.”

“You gave the other ticket to a condiment?” I question.

Suddenly, Kromp erupts with laughter, a quick realization immediately making its way across his face. “Oh, I see what’s going on,” my boss explains when he finally settles. “I mean like the physically manifested sentient embodiment of ketchup,” he continues.

“Oh!” I reply, everything suddenly falling into place. Now it all makes perfect sense, although I’m quickly hit with yet another powerful realization. I lower my voice a bit, as though Ketchup himself was just over in the next room. “You mean I’m gonna be sitting next to a celebrity?” I question.

Kromp nods. “I guess you could say that. He’s great though, you’ll really like him.”

“How do you know ketchup?” I question.

“Oh we’ve represented him a few times,” Kromp explains. “There was a legal battle over the right way to spell his name, with a C or a K. It was a whole thing. He also had some beef with the tomato industry a while back. Everything’s settled now, but he’s still tight with the firm.”

I was already thrilled at the new and unexpected turn my evening had taken, but this news adds a whole other layer of excitement to the night. I’ve met a few living concepts before, but never one as well known as ketchup.

“Thanks again,” I finally reply, then turn and head for the door.

The stadium is buzzing with excitement when I arrive, and that powerful emotional feeling that hangs in the air immediately beings to translate into pure adrenaline within my body. I know that I said I love watching the game on TV just as much as I do from the stands, but now that I’m here it’s hard to argue. There is a visceral hum to this place, a feeling I get in my bones the very second I step through those turnstiles.

I glance up at one of the many hanging televisions that line the concourse, my heart skipping a beat as I realize that The Lobsters are already ahead by two runs. Of course, there’s more to enjoy about this experience than just the game itself. It’s been ages since I’ve had a Lobster dog, the world-famous sausages that this stadium has been doling out since it opened back in the 50s.

Besides, after hurrying over here straight from the office, I ended up skipping dinner and now I’m absolutely starving.

I quickly slip into the next line that I see, then begin to eye up the menu before me as I creep closer and closer to the counter. By the time I arrive, my mouth is absolutely watering. I order myself a large soda and a Lobster dog.

“Fifteen dollars and forty cents,” the woman behind the counter announces.

I’d forgotten just how expensive the food is at sporting events, but right now I’m much too happy to care.

“Do you have any ketchup?” I question as I hand over the cash.

“All out,” the woman behind the counter informs me as she places the food in my hands.

“Wait, really?” I blurt, a little confused. “In this whole entire stadium, you’re completely out of ketchup?”

“Yep,” the woman replies, stone faced.

After all the build up to getting here, I find myself incredibly disappointed with the fact that my evening is no longer the perfect experience I was halfway finished crafting. I stand in shock, reeling as the woman behind the counter loudly clears her throat and then motions for the person behind me in line to come forward.

I step out of the way in a daze, but suddenly find myself blissfully aware of a perfect solution. Despite the fact there are no ketchup packs left in the whole stadium, I’ll have sentient ketchup itself sitting in the seat right next to me.

I quickly turn and head down towards my seat, careful yet swift as I weave my way through the crowd while simultaneously struggling to protect my food. I’d known these seats were good, but the closer the more I realize just how amazing they really are. Eventually, I find myself strolling down the center aisle towards home plate. My seat is right behind it, and as I approach I see just the man I’m looking for.

“Hey, you must be Ketchup,” I offer, grabbing his attention. “I’m Lindsey.”

“Lindsey!” he erupts, smiling wide as he stands up and opens his arms for a welcoming hug. “Your boss told me you were coming! It’s nice to meet you.”

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this incredibly famous condiment, but now that I’m right here next to him I’m immediately overwhelmed with a particularly unexpected emotion: arousal.

There’s a reason why everyone likes ketchup so much. The sentient condiment is absolutely gorgeous, a brilliant red beacon in a perfectly sculpted glass bottle. Within him, I can see the rich color of his sugary sauce, and it’s so arresting that I actually stop in my tracks, unable to control my reaction. Ketchup notices this and counters with a knowing smile. Clearly, he’s aware of the way others perceive him.

The two of us sit down as the game rolls on before us. These seats are absolutely incredible, but now my attention is much more focused on the handsome living object next to me than anything else.

Ketchup notices the hotdog I’m holding, raising his eyebrows as he notices the completely blank slate.

“No condiments, huh?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah,” I stammer. “Well, not on purpose. They’re out of ketchup in the whole stadium.”

“I guess it’s your lucky day then,” Ketchup informs me, reaching up and unscrewing his little white cap. The living food reaches within the top of his head and pulls out a huge glob of the red substance, then rubs it slowly across the length of my hotdog. When he’s finished he licks his figures clean then screws back on the top of his head.

“Thanks!” I offer, then really consider what just happened. “It’s not weird for you to watch other people eating ketchup? I mean… that’s almost like cannibalism, right?”

“Kinda,” the condiment replies with a shrug. “I mean, I’m not human so it’s definitely not cannibalism, but I can see what you mean. Honestly, it’s more of an honor than anything.”

“You sure?” I reply raising the hot dog to my mouth then hesitating before I take my bite.

“I’m sure,” Ketchup replies with a confident chuckle and a sparkle in his eye, sending shockwaves of arousal through my body.

I finally open wide and take down a generous portion of the sausage, savoring the flavor as I chew and swallow. Ketchup is watching me closely, waiting for my reaction.

This condiment is straight from the source, and there’s something about that fact that makes it taste truly unique. Unfortunately, there’s also something undeniably missing from this experience, something that had completely slipped my mind until this very moment.

There’s no mustard, and without mustard to balance the flavors out, it really doesn’t matter how good the ketchup is.

I do my best to maintain an enthusiastic expression while Ketchup watches me.

“Pretty good, huh?” the handsome condiment bottle asks.

“Yeah,” I reply through a muffled mouthful of food, giving him a thumbs up and widening my eyes with as much excitement as I can muster.

Instantly, Ketchup’s expression changes. I must’ve gone a little to far with my review, because now he’s onto me. He knows something’s wrong.

“What is it?” Ketchup questions.

“Nothing,” I reply, still holding onto my crumbling narrative. “It’s perfect. Best Lobster dog I’ve ever had.”

Ketchup gives me a knowing look. He doesn’t have to say a word, we both know exactly what’s going on here.

“Okay, fine,” I blurt, giving into the pressure for an honest review. “It’s really good, but…” I trail off, choosing my words carefully. “It needs something more.”

I’m not exactly sure how ketchup will react to this, but he’s completely unfazed. In this moment, I realize just how confident the living condiment really is, and this awareness only serves to make him that much more attractive. He’s certainly not disconnected from reality, but he also has a casual quality that’s hard to describe. He’s perfectly fine with my review.

“Mustard?” Ketchup finally questions.

My eyes go wide. “Yes!” I blurt.
 Suddenly, Ketchup smiles as his gaze drifts up over my shoulder. “You might be able to get some help with that,” he offers.

I turn and follow the sightline of my new friend, gasping aloud when I see that a beautiful, feminine jar of mustard is leaning over and talking to someone in a nearby seat. The inning is over, so nobody seems to mind the distraction.

Suddenly, Ketchup is waving. “Hey!” he calls out.

“Do you know her?” I question.

Ketchup laughs. “Does ketchup know mustard?” he replies, telling me everything I need to know.

The second Mustard notices us she breaks away from her conversation and strolls over, taking my breath away with her the beautiful shape of her translucent glass bottle.

“Mustard, this is Lindsey,” the ketchup bottle offers as an introduction.

The bright yellow mustard shakes my hand and I almost melt away into my seat right then and there. I’m blown away by her beauty, and being sandwiched between these two incredible, classic condiments is almost too much for me to handle.

The arousal that courses through my body can no longer be denied. I’m completely overwhelmed with my attraction to both this sentient mustard and her living ketchup friend.

The question now is what to do about it.

“It’s really nice to meet you,” is all I can think to offer, the words feeling stilted and weird as they tumble out of me.

Apparently, Mustard doesn’t seem to mind, the woman putting her hand on my shoulder and running down my arm slowly in a very long, deliberate movement. “Looks like you could use a little mustard on that dog,” she offers with a wink.

“Yeah, actually,” I reply.

Mustard unscrews her lid and reaches inside with two fingers, sweeping them across the inner edge and then pulling them out with a nice thick glob of the yellow condiment. She reaches over and wipes the mustard across my sausage.

“Have a taste,” she offers.

I glance back and forth between Ketchup and Mustard, who are watching me intently now, then take a big bite of the hot dog.

The flavor hits me like a truck. I knew this meal was going to be something special, but the combination of mustard and ketchup is utterly transformative. There’s something about these unfiltered flavors coming direct from the source that perfectly resonates in the depths of my soul, filling me up with a potent sensation at the pit of my stomach that gradually makes it’s way across my arms and legs. Soon enough, every nerve of my body is standing on end.

Losing control, I lean back in my seat and stop pushing back against the feelings, allowing them to flood across me in one blissful tidal wave. Before I even know what’s happening, I tilt my head back and let out a frantic, unbridled scream.

“Holy fuck!” I cry out, my mouth still full of food. “I’m cumming! I’m cumming so fucking hard.”

Every muscle of my body expands and contracts in unison, spastically pulsing across me until, finally, I finish quaking.

I open my eyes to find that everyone sitting around us is staring at me with surprised looks upon their face. Immediately, I flush with embarrassment, realizing what just happened.

“You like it?” Mustard offers with a laugh.

“Did I just?” I stammer.

Mustard and Ketchup both nod in unison.

“Is that normal?” I continue.

Ketchup shakes his head. “Not unheard of, but also not common. Sometimes the portions are just right, though.”

Something about these words strikes a chord deep within me. Tonight is mynight, and I’m gonna live for the moment. After all the hard work I’ve been putting in, I deserve it.

“I could use seconds,” I finally say, offering up as much cool conviction as I possibly can.

Mustard and Ketchup exchange glances, then look back at me.

“I know a place where you can eat all you want,” Mustard informs me.

“Let’s go,” I reply.

As living condiments, Ketchup and Mustard seem to have an all access pass wherever they go, especially when it comes to sporting events. As we stroll through the stadium, doors are held open for us wherever we turn, and I quickly lose track of our direction as we wind deeper and deeper into the depths of this building.

Of course, the technicalities of our journey are the last thing on my mind. As I look to either side of me I see two of the most gorgeous living objects I’ve ever encountered, and the triangular tension that simmers between us is threatening to boil over at any second.

Thankfully, we suddenly arrive at our destination, bursting into an unused locker room somewhere near the heart of this structure.

I turn around to say something to my condiment companions, but before I can open my mouth they’re upon me, kissing me passionately from either side. I turn my head from left to right, trading my attention back and forth between the beautiful mustard and breathtakingly handsome ketchup. Their hands roam across my body, tearing away the fabric of my clothes and tossing them to the side in a haphazard pile. The next thing I know I’ve been stripped down to almost nothing, exposed before them.

“I want you,” I stammer, struggling to find my words in the heat of the moment. “I want you both so badly.”

Mustard approaches from the front and wraps her arms around me, pulling me close as we passionately make out with one another. Her body is incredible, curves crafted with absolute precision. Meanwhile, the muscular figure of Ketchup steps up behind me, pushing against me from the other end. I can feel his erect condiment cock on my ass.

I reach back and begin to slowly creep my hand lower and lower across Ketchup’s body, finally arriving at his shaft and wrapping my fingers tightly around it. I can hear the living food let out a soft, satisfied groan as I begin to stroke him, my tight fingers gracefully making their way up and down his length. Meanwhile, I do the same thing to the topping the front of me, slowly allowing my fingers to creep along Mustard’s waistline.

I tease the beautiful yellow condiment like this for a good while, then finally make my move, slipping my fingers across her wet clit. Everyone begins to move together, hands pumping along in unison, but it’s not long before the three of us start to crave even more.

Eventually, I just can’t take it anymore, pushing Mustard back and directing her towards one of the wooden benches. I maneuver her until she’s standing directly before it, then push her back and lay her bottled body across the hard wooden surface.

Mustard has no legs to spread, but her clit isn’t difficult to get at. I quickly dive in and begin lapping away at her most sensitive area, watching as the living food’s stomach begins to tighten excitedly. She’s absolutely loving this, reaching down and taking my head with her hand as she pushes my face deeper against her pussy.

“Yes, yes,” Mustard groans. “Just like that.”

Most people would find the taste of mustard without anything to spread it on slightly off-putting, but as I eat out this gorgeous condiment, I’m blown away by just how presently flavorful she is.

I suddenly notice that Ketchup is crawling down into position next to me. I turn and kiss him briefly, then get back to work with this new companion by my side. We begin to take turns licking Mustard’s pussy, working her in tandem as we alternate between fingers and tongues. Mustard immediately begins to respond to this, her whimpers growing louder and louder until they eventually transform into full on screams. I can tell she’s close, so I don’t let up for a second.

At least, that’s the plan. Suddenly, however, I notice Ketchup has disappeared. The next thing I know, I can feel his hands on my hips, the condiment saddling up behind me and aligning his enormous rod at the entrance of my tight pussy.

I pull away from eating out Mustard just long enough to whip my head back and give Ketchup and excited smile. “Do it!” I snarl. “Fuck me!”

I reach around and give my ass a playful slap, then gasp as the muscular condiment pushes deep within me. His size is incredible, and it takes me a moment to come to terms with his phallic tomato enormity.

Fortunately, Ketchup is a gracious lover, taking his time with me as he slowly begins to rock his hips. The handsome food gives me a good while to adjust to his size, allowing any discomfort to slip away and get immediately replaced by a blissful, erotic fullness. He begins to pump in and out of my body with his giant dick as I turn my attention back to Mustard.

I dive in and begin to eat out the condiment yet again, picking up right where I left off. It doesn’t take long for my lover to start bucking her hips along with me, moving in time with the hungry laps of my tongue. I can feel the pleasure coursing through my body as though I’m some lightning rod of sexual conduction, the carnal pleasure starting at Ketchup’s cock as he thrusts into my body and then radiating all the way up to Mustard at the end.

“I’m so close, I’m so close,” the yellow condiment’s whimpering, the voice growing louder with every passing round until, eventually, she’s crying out at the top of her lungs. “I’m so close! I’m so fucking close!”
 Suddenly, Mustard throws her head back and lets out an unbridled shriek, completely losing herself in the moment. I watch as she cums hard, the climax overwhelming her glass bottle in a series of wild and spastic movements. Her muscles tighten and release over again over again, then finally settle as she falls back against the bench in utter exhaustion.

Without missing a beat, I can feel Ketchup changing positions behind me. The muscular condiment grabs me around the waist and begins to lift me up, remaining deep inside me as he goes. The living object rolls until I find myself sitting on top of him, my back against his glass chest as he begins to pound up into me.

Now that I’m upright, I can see Mustard wasn’t quite as tuckered out as I thought. The sexy condiment clearly has a second wind, dropping down to her hands and knees and crawling towards me seductively. She rocks her hips from side to side as she moves, drawing closer and closer as I’m hammered by Ketchup from below.

The bottle of red sugary sauce is pulsing deep within me at a quick pace, but his movements are just as well performed as ever. He’s hitting me in just the right way and it’s enough to put me over the edge right here and now. More is on the way, though, and I’m holding on tight to see where this goes.

Soon enough, Mustard is crouching before me. She quickly gets to work, flicking her tongue across my clit as Ketchup takes me from behind, the two sensations working together and causing the pleasure to build exponentially within. The next thing I know my pleasure is taking off like a rocket, causing me to quake wildly as my body is flooded with erotic bliss.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum!” I scream, then kick my legs out straight as I erupt with my second orgasm of the night.

I’m completely lost in this moment, carried away on a carnal wave as my senses are overwhelmed. I grit my teeth, the pleasure almost too much to handle before I force myself to just let go and take it all in.

The sensation lasts for quite a while, and when it finally finishes Ketchup pulls out of me from below. His timing is impeccable, and within seconds I’m watching as Mustard gracefully sucks him off, swallowing his tomato load.

The three of us all collapse into a sweaty, fucked-silly pile. We sit in silence like this, just enjoying each other’s company.

Suddenly, from off in the distance the crowd erupts in a raucous cheer.

“Sounds like The Lobsters scored another run,” I observe.

“Wanna get back to our seats?” Ketchup questions.

“Oh no you don’t” Mustard interjects. “Come up to my box, there’s plenty of room. Besides, we need to talk about the next game.”

“The next game?” I ask.

Mustard laughs. “You think sex this good is a one time thing? We’ve got the whole season ahead of us.”