XaiJu
Chuck Tingle
Chuck Tingle

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Meta Pounds My Butt Well In An Attempt To Make Everyone Forget Their Unethical Business Practices After A Rebrand But Folks Remember Anyway Because Altering Your Name Isn't A Substitute For Real Work


Brad is great at parties, but after making a new friend and exchanging social media information, things get a little awkward. It appears the newly rebranded social network platform Meta has overheard their conversation, and he wants to assure them he’s nothing like those other social networks.

Skeptical the name chance is nothing more than a way to escape some bad press, Brad ignores the living object. But as the party wears on, Brad finds himself wondering if Meta really has changed for the better, or if this recently renamed platform is just as unethical as ever.

Of course, all of this culminates in a hardcore anal pounding that you’re certain to give a like.

This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human on gay social network action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, facials, and rebranded platform love.

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I’m not exactly the most socially adept person, so you might expect me to turn down any party invite that comes my way. When it comes to large gatherings, it’s easy to picture me shrinking into the corner or hanging by the chips and dip with nothing to say, dreading the thought of any potential conversation that might come my way.

Admittedly, it use to be like this. My younger years were blessed with a small circle of friends, but the second I was thrown into a room with five or more strangers, I was a lost cause.

Now, I’m the life of any party, quickly making friends and joining conversations with an ease I would’ve never thought possible.

It’s all thanks to one simple tool, and while this might not work for everyone who feels anxious in these settings, it works for me. I realized the issue I had with meeting strangers was fairly singular, and once that simple problem was solved, the rest of my anxiety melted away pretty quickly.

The problem was this: I just didn’t have anything to talk about.

Strangely, I didn’t fully understand this until well after the solution feel into my lap. This personality shift would’ve happened regardless, but I was lucky enough to be paying attention when it did.

One of the first things people will ask you at a party is “what do you do?” and for me the answer was never much of a thrill. I’ve had a number of jobs, but I never much cared for them, and that attitude quickly colors any potential conversation.

Somehow, however, I feel into the strange and surreal world of romance writing. I began on a lark, dreaming up some wild story in my head and gradually jotting it down in my free time. It was a silly little private adventure, quite embarrassing at the time. It was never a plan to actually publish these ideas, but eventually I decided to give it a shot.

The rest is history.

It’s not that this job is innately more exciting than anything else I’ve done, although it’s certainly not boring. The key is that I, Brad Borbo, personally love it more, and this translates into great conversation.

I’m deep in the world of romance publishing now, running my own mailing list and social media campaigns. I’m making my way through this exciting new world with a spring in my step.

Of course, I’m not saying the only key to making social connections is though becoming a successful romance author. I’m not even saying the key is planning something exciting to talk about before arriving at the party.

This is what helped me, but we’re all different.

The point is simple. If you’re socially anxious and it’s something you want to change about yourself, there is a solution out there. There’s always a path ahead, and while it might take a little searching, there are practical ways to win these battles within your heart and brain.

“Hey, mind if I squeeze past you?” a voice questions, cutting through my hazy thoughts.

I glance over to see a handsome guy in a dark jacket nodding toward the chips and dip. I’m standing in his way.

“Oh, yeah!” I offer, moving to the side as I mentally rejoin this raucous party that thunders around us. “Sorry about that.”

The guy smiles and grabs a huge helping of dip upon his singular chip. He chomps it down, swallowing happily.

“I’m Brad, by the way,” I offer, extending a hand. “What’s your name?”

“George,” he replies, giving me a firm shake. “George Bird. What do you do, Brad?”

Aw, that old classic coming back time and time again. No longer do I need to run in fear of that question, knowing the answer I’ve got tucked away in my back pocket is definitely not something you hear every day.

“I write romance novels,” I reply.

George stops chewing, his eyes wide as he reels from this news. I’ve gotten a lot of reactions to this statement, but none of them have been this dramatic.

“You’re kidding me,” George blurts. “Really?”

I nod. “Yeah, it’s great.”

George claps his hands together excitedly, offering a playful laugh. “What are the chances?” he continues. “I’m a voice actor. I specialize in romance audiobooks!”

The electricity between us is instant. Soon enough, I find myself deep in conversation with this incredibly charming voice actor, trading stories about our time in the romance industry. George picks up on things most strangers never understand, relating to my trials and tribulations in this bizarre business and offering up some true stories of his own.

As the party winds on, the two of us find more and more in common, and soon enough I’ve got a new friend. Maybe even a new business partner.

“I’ve gotta take off,” George eventually offers, nodding toward the door. “Early session tomorrow.”

“Totally,” I reply, fully understanding his plight in the face of an impending deadline. “Hey, we should keep in touch, you wanna add me on Bookface?”

George just smiles, shaking his head. “Ugh, I hate using it, but yes. I deleted my personal account. I still have one for business, though.”

It’s something I’ve been hearing more and more these days, the massive social network slowly losing customers due to its unethical business practices. Unfortunately, it’s basically a utility at this point, especially to those of us who are self-employed. I need this platform to reach my fans.

“Can you believe Bookface paid zero dollars in taxes this year after making hundreds of billions in profit?” I question.

“Or that they’ll delete LGBTQ content, but still allow white supremacists to use their service?” George adds.

Suddenly, a massive blue logo pushes through the crowd, the living object approaching us with blustering exuberance. “Yeah, Bookface was pretty bad, but have you tried Meta?”

George and I exchange glances, struggling to figure out what the hell is going on with our unexpected guest.

“Uh… what?” I stammer.

“Bookface was pretty bad, but have you tried Meta?” the living object repeats. “Meta is so cool, not unethical at all. They’re real straight shooters.”

The logo is one I haven’t seen before, three blue rings connected by an overlap at the center. The top ring is slightly longer, giving it an almost phallic presence.

There’s something oddly familiar about the color of this living object, however, their distinct blue tone conjuring washed out memories from the depths of my mind.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” I question.

“No!” the logo blurts, shaking his head from side to side. “We’ve never met.”

George is just as skeptical as I am, eyeing this living object with a hearty dose of suspicion. Suddenly, he snaps his fingers. “Wait a minute. Aren’t you just that new rebranding of Bookface?”

The logo shakes their head even harder than before, a confused expression crossing their face. “No way, man. I’m just a logo for a foot company. A foot book company.”

“A foot company?” I counter. “What does that even mean?”

“Foot book,” the living object continues, struggling to explain. “It’s like a book that you read to your foot. Everyone’s doing it, we’re super ethical we pay so much in taxes. We don’t let white supremacists on our platform at all.”

“What do you mean platform?” I press. “I thought you were a book company.”

“Well, yeah,” the logo stammers. “It’s like a platform for your books about your feet. Not your face, though. It’s for your foot.”

George lets out a long sigh, growing frustrated.

“Dude, we know it’s you,” he angrily blurts. “We know you’re just the physical manifestation of the rebranding of a social media network now known as Meta.”

The logo freezes, struggling to maintain their composure and then finally giving up as a long sigh escapes their lips. “Fine, you got me!”

The logo’s demeanor changes completely, relaxing as the tension leaves his frame.

“Listen, I know I was a real jerk before,” the physical manifestation of an unethical social media platform rebranding offers. “I made a lot of mistakes. I’m just looking for another chance.”

I narrow my eyes. “Well, lying to us about who you are isn’t a great start.”

“I know, I know,” the logo sighs.

“So your name is meta?” I continue.

The living concept nods.

“Okay, well, besides the name change what are you doing better? Like, are you actually paying taxes now?” I question.

Meta hesitates. “Sure.”

“What do you mean sure?” I continue.

“Okay fine! We’re not paying our taxes!” the social media platform’s attempted rebranding cries out, throwing his hands into the air. “Give us a chance, though!”

“I think it’s gonna take more than a name change,” I offer, “but you do you.”

George, Meta and I stand in silence for a moment as the party continues to rage around us. We sip awkwardly from our drinks until George tosses his into a nearby trash and makes his exit.

“It was nice to meet you,” he offers. “Add me online.”

“Ah ha!” Meta blurts. “How can you critique something if you use it yourself?”

George doesn’t even attempt to answer this question, following through with his goodbye and exiting the party with a friendly wave. Now I’m the only one left to field questions to the physical manifestation of this rebranding who is so desperately trying to work his way into my heart.

The living object now known as meta waits patiently for my response.

“Just because we sometimes have to participate in systems to survive, doesn’t mean we can’t advocate for them being better,” I offer.

Meta nods, then reaches out a places a hand on my shoulder. He’s turning on the charm, a wry smile forming at the corner of his mouth as he stares directly into my eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. Spend some genuine time with me and see if I’ve changed. If you still don’t like my ethics that’s fine, but you should at least give me a shot.”

Typically, I wouldn’t be interested, but this particular physical manifestation has two things going for him. First, my new friend George just left and I’ve got nobody else to talk to at this party. Second, Meta’s actually kind of handsome.

It hurts to admit this, but there’s something pretty sexy about the social media network’s sleek design. He’s rugged and confident, an air of boyish charm floating around him that gives every interaction a breezy emotional tone.

“Fine,” I offer, prompting a full smile to immediately break out across the sentient rebranding’s face.

He playfully reaches out a hand, not for me to shake but as an offer to guide me onward.

I accept, and the next thing I know Meta is pulling me into the middle of the dance floor. Soon enough, the two of us are grooving enthusiastically to the music, losing ourselves in the moment.

The whole thing is ridiculous, but in a charming way that prompts a series of playful laughs to escape my throat. Our dancing isn’t sexy, it’s silly, but for some reason that makes this moment all the more appealing.

Meta and I continue rocking through the night like this, freely flirting with reckless abandon. I try my best to maintain a wall of emotional distance, not letting this sneaky, handsome rebrand into my system, but it’s not long before I start forgetting his sordid past.

I guess those multi-million dollar ad agencies know what they’re doing.

All the while, I can’t help finding myself more a more attracted to this gorgeous physical manifestation. As the party wears on we start dancing closer and closer, the arousal within me blossoming into something incredibly potent. I can sense the pollen from this newly planted erotic flower surging through my veins, a blinding desire to take things further and forget all about the terrible things Meta has done.

Eventually, I just can’t handle these feelings it anymore. I take the rebranding of a social media network now known as Meta by the hand and lead him back the way we came, weaving through the party. We slip away into the quieter side of my friend’s house, drifting down a dark hallway and eventually pushing into an empty guest bedroom.

I slam the door behind me, ravenous with carnal hunger as I kiss this gorgeous logo on his deep blue lips. The two of us begin to passionately make out, allowing ourselves to get swept up in this moment of erotic release.

Meta said a great night by his side could make me forget the sins of the past, and I wanna see if he’s right.

The living object begins to strip away my clothes, tearing them from my body and tossing them to the side. It’s not long before I’m standing naked before him, fully exposed and showing off my muscular form.

Meta is breathtaking fit, some multi-million dollar advertising firm coming up with a spectacular design. His curves are perfect, a strange symmetry I can’t tear my eyes away from.

The most impressive thing about his physical form, however, is the enormous cock that slowly begins to rise from his body.

I gracefully rub my hands across Meta’s chest and abs, drifting lower and lower in a series of playful movements. I tease him for a bit before dropping any father, allowing his cock to swell and then finally giving in as I wrap my fingers tight around his rod.

The rebranding of a social network now known as Meta lets out a long, satisfied groan as I stroke him off, slowly pumping my grip across his length in a serious of graceful movements. I take note of the way this living object pushes his hips back against me, finding a rhythm against his body. Soon enough, the two of us have fallen into a confident pace together.

Overwhelmed with lust, I drop down to my knees before the handsome rebranding, gazing up at him with lustful eyes as I tempt him with the promise of something more. My lips hover just a few inches away from the living object’s dick, and I use them to mischievously tease his rod.

I begin to kiss the head of Meta’s shaft, then drop down lower and drag my tongue across his entire length.

I’ve been holding back this whole time, doling out the pleasure slowly and watching this living object squirm, but now it’s me who’s waited long enough. I want Meta’s cock, and I want it now.

Without any warning I part my lips and take the rebranded social media network’s massive dong into my mouth, bobbing my head furiously across his length. I push up and down onto his shaft, keeping the same pace I’d fallen into with my hands as I suck him of in a state of belligerent enthusiasm. All the while, I cradle the massive blue logo’s hanging balls, conjuring two distinct sources of pleasure that swirl within.

“Oh fuck,” the sentient rebranding groans. “That feels so fucking good.”
 Realizing it’s impossible for me to blow him any faster, I shift into a new approach. I pull back for a moment, collecting myself, then dive in once more. I take the living object’s cock into my throat, allowing him deeper and deeper passage within me and holding firm. Meta has no problem sliding well past my gag reflex, and the next thing I know he’s fully consumed in a stunning deep throat maneuver.

I hold the social network now known as Meta within my neck for as long as I can, then finally pull back in a frantic gasp. Saliva hangs between my bottom lip and the head of his shaft in a long, semi-translucent strand, glistening under the dim light of this quiet guest room.

“Fuck me,” I command. “Fuck me over like your platform has been fucking people over for years!”

The living concept hesitates. “But that’s not me, though,” he stammers. “It’s a rebrand, right? So technically that was my old social media net-”

“Oh my god!” I interrupt, throwing my hands in the air. “Nevermind! We’ll discuss this after. Just pound my butt.”

I turn around and drop to my hands and knees, popping my ass out toward the sentient logo and giving one cheek a playful slap. I hold myself open for him, allowing the living object to get a good look at my hole.

“Well?” I continue. “What are you waiting for?”

Meta climbs down into position behind me, aligning his massive, swollen rod with my tightly puckered back door. He teases me for a moment, getting me back for the playful withholding just moments earlier.

“Please,” I beg, the word falling limply from my mouth.

The physical manifestation finally has mercy, driving deep into my asshole with a powerful swoop and filling me completely. I let out an aching grown as my body struggles to accommodate his size, stretched to the absolute limit.

Meta is absolutely enormous, but he’s also patient. Instead of pumping in and out of my butt, the rebranding of a social media network now known as Meta holds fast, allowing my ass a moment to adjust to his girthy member. Slowly, my muscles begin to relax and any tension starts melting away. Instead of aching discomfort, I get as distinct sense of warmth and fullness.

The living object starts pumping in and out of me, moving slowly at first and then gaining speed as I push back against him. Soon enough, the two of us fall into a steady pulse together, the pleasure washing across our bodies in potent waves.

“Just like that, just like that,” I repeat to myself over and over again, this manta spilling out of my lips in an ever escalating loop. Eventually, I’m crying out at the top of my lungs, unashamed that someone back at the party might hear us. I just don’t care, fully allowing myself to get swept away in this moment of erotic bliss. Soon enough, I’m screaming at the top of my lungs. “Just like that! Just like that!”

I reach down and grab ahold of my hanging cock, beating myself off in time with the slams up my asshole. These two distinct sources of pleasure create a powerful synergy within, working together and cultivating an experience that’s so much more than the sum of its parts.

At this point Meta is giving it to me with everything he’s got, a runaway jackhammer blasting my butthole with near supernatural precision and power. He’s hitting me just right, cultivating a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that quickly blooms and grows.

This sensation of impending climax works its way down my arms and legs, filing my veins with its warmth as my body trembles and quakes. I can feel the tension building, swelling above me like some mighty tidal wave that could break at any moment. My eyes roll back into my head, aching for this release to finally arrive.

“Oh shit! I’m gonna cum!” I finally scream, throwing my head back in a howl of pleasure.

The sensations within me release with a powerful surge, sweeping through my body as hot, white jizz erupts from the head of my shaft. The cum splatters everywhere, covering the floor in glorious patterns of pearly spunk.

All the while, Meta continues hammering away at my asshole. He carries me through the duration of my orgasm then pushes deep, unleashing his own sticky payload. I can feel his massive cock twitching and pumping as the seed blasts forth, filling my butt completely. When there’s simply not enough room left, Meta’s jizz comes spilling out from my tightly packed rim, running down the back of my legs in long milky streaks.

When the two of us finally finish we collapse into a breathless, fucked-silly pile.

I take a moment to collect myself, then gradually pull my clothes back on. Catching a glimpse of Meta, however, causes me to freeze in my tracks. The three rings of his logo have bent and distorted during our lovemaking, creating a shape that I’d remember anywhere: a giant blue F.

“Guess you can’t hide for too long, huh?” I joke.

Meta glances down at himself, gasping aloud when he sees that his inner truth has been revealed. “It’s not what it looks like,” he stammers.

“Listen, I know you’re exactly the same as before,” I continue. “I’m not worried about the rebranding, I’m worried about your unethical business practices. I’m worried about the way you control news and information. With all the effort you’ve put into a new logo, have you considered working on this other stuff?”

“Not really,” the social network admits.

I let out a long sigh, shaking my head from side to side. “Well, I’ll tell you what… the sex was good.”

Meta smiles.

“I guess I can’t expect people to stop using you completely until there are decent alternatives,” I admit, “because you do bring a lot of pleasure… sometimes. Keeping up with old friends is important. Growing a small business is important.”

“See! I’m not horrible!”

“I mean… you are,” I counter. “No offence.”

“None taken,” Meta replies.

“Can you critique a system while being a part of it?” I question aloud, more to myself than anyone else. “Can you wish a product was better while still using it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on if you need the product to put food on your table.”

“See, I’m great!” Meta blurts.

“No, you’re not,” I retort bluntly. “I’m just… trying to work this out.”

“You’re not gonna break the forth wall are you?” the social media network questions. “That’s called being meta, and if you do that I’ll have to sue you.”

“Ugh,” I let out a long sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting my head in my hands.

I’m overwhelmed with frustration, struggling to find an ethical balance and coming up short.

“Maybe I’ll just do what I can, where I can,” I offer. “Every one of these giant companies is evil, but I also can’t go live in the middle of the woods under a tarp. Technology is important… andscary.”

“You could write a book about it,” the social media platform offers.

“Now you’re the one being, Meta,” I counter. “I’ve got a better idea, though.”

With that, I stand up and head back into the party. I make my way around the room until I find the host, who greets me warmly.

“Brad, what’s up?” my friend offers.

“Hey, I met this guy George Bird earlier,” I explain. “I think he’s gonna work on some audiobooks for me. Anyway, we we’re gonna connect over social media, but do you have his phone number instead?”

The host smiles. “You should ask him yourself,” he offers, nodding out to the front deck. “George said he was headed home a while ago, but it looks like he got caught up in another conversation.”

I spot my new friend, then head out to make contact for a second time. I wait for George to finish his conversation before I quickly interject.

“Hey Brad!” the voice over actor shouts with excited surprise. “You’re still here!”

“You’re still here!” I blurt, prompting both of us to laugh. “Listen, I know I told you to hit me up on social media earlier about that collaboration, but here’s my number. Just give me a call. I’m trying to use Bookface… I mean, Meta, less.”

The two of us exchange numbers and continue on our way. It’s not a full-on take down of the big tech empire, but right now this is what we’ve got.

Besides, we already had a great time chatting face-to-face.


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