Darkest Before Dawn - 124

Chapter 124

[Shino Sosaki]

‘Where did you go this time, Kota?’ she wondered as she walked through the halls of their summer place. She’d checked on the cliff he usually “secretly” practiced using his Quirk. She’d also knocked on his door a bunch of times; enough that he’d likely have snapped something at her if he was there. Her last guess was the library and if he wasn’t there, she’d have to bring in reinforcements.

That’s how, when she was about to reach the place, she took a deep breath in and prepared herself for a bout of very painful arguing with her nephew.

She loved him to bits and she always would, but there was no denying that he still mourned his parents and not in a… way that allowed others to get close to him, at all. She missed them too, she really did. She hadn’t lost one sibling that day, she’d lost two, because she’d been that close with her in-law too. Those two might as well have been the same person, really. You couldn’t love one without loving the other, the same way you’d be hard pressed to find one without the other.

And they had left them all just like that, together.

Kota had never moved on and it pained Shino to no end to see her nephew continue carrying that with him. There wasn’t much she could do though, other than supporting him and being there. Maybe one day, she’d be able to get through him, but that day didn’t seem particularly-

She paused, both her thoughts and her stride, when she heard voices coming out of the library.

Walking slower, she focused. One of those voices was Kota, so her guess had been right. However, she was taken aback by how… normal he sounded. He wasn’t scoffing, nor growling, nor doing anything similarly confrontational. He seemed… excited.

That’s what made Shino speed up a little and peek into the room, doing her best not to make her presence known.

“You could put those plates on the fins,” Kota said, gesturing with his hands and grinning. Grinning! “You could make them sharp, then it could cut things while swimming!”

“I mean, true,” Kazuki Endo replied, leaning back on his seat, facing her nephew and away from Shino herself. “But then it wouldn’t be able to swim as well, right? Sharks are supposed to swim fast, aren’t they? At least, that sounds like it’d be cooler.”

“Hm, I guess,” Kota answered, settling down, frowning thoughtfully. “Yeah, it needs to be fast.”

“Glad you agree,” Endo replied and Shino could imagine a grin on his face. “What about on its head? I’m thinking plates on the top, making it kind of flat-”

“Not another hammerhead idea,” her nephew interrupted, sounding exasperated.

“First of all, rude.” He wasn’t wrong about that, Shino supposed. “Second of all, hammerheads are cool. Third of all, it’s not a hammerhead idea,” he listed, moving his head in a way that made her think he was rolling his eyes. “What I’m thinking is to make a regular shark shape with the plates on top of its head kind of flat. If it’s big enough, it could act as a platform.”

“You could make the tip sharp and pointy too, right? Like this, but more,” Kota suggested, rummaging through a bunch of books and paper sheets on the table they were sitting around and pointing at something.

“Kid, you really like your sharp and/or pointy things, don’t you? That’s kind of scary,” Endo pointed out, but he sounded more amused than anything.

“I’m not a kid,” her nephew protested.

“That’s not a bad idea though, I have to admit,” the older boy continued, resolutely ignoring the younger one’s words. “I’m gonna note that one down,” Endo added, leaning forward, taking a pencil and a paper sheet and starting to note something down… or was he drawing? Maybe both.

“Oh, oh, how about placing the plates like… like this,” Kota said then, reaching for a different pencil and jotting something in the same sheet. “You could grab onto this while the shark swims, right?”

“True,” Endo answered. “Probably won’t be able to go very fast, unless I get equipment… Gotta discuss that with my support team,” he mumbled. ‘Support team?’ Shino thought, blinking to herself. “Well, you can continue on your own for a bit, right? Gotta go to the bathroom,” the older boy said, cracking his neck before standing up and turning towards the door.

Shino was already going to signal for him not to say anything about her being there, but she was surprised to see that he wasn’t surprised to see her. Instead, he just smiled as he walked towards her. Once he reached the outside of the library, he closed the door behind him and turned towards her.

“Were you looking for me or for Kota?” he asked and apparently something must have shown on her face, because he chuckled quietly and added: “I noticed you with my Quirk. You know what it does, right?” he asked and she nodded.

She’d forgotten for a moment, but she did know.

Shino had just been too shocked by the sight she’d just witnessed. Because when had been the last time she’d seen Kota act… like a kid for any extended period of time. Furthermore, he’d looked downright happy. What miracle had Endo worked on her nephew? Because she needed to know.

“I was looking for Kota,” she mumbled, glancing at the closed door.

“Oh, well, I can go and-”

“No,” she interrupted quickly before the boy could so much as touch the door knob. “No, just… keep doing whatever you’re doing. I don’t remember the last time I saw him like that,” she said, somehow both happy and sad. She was happy to see her nephew doing well, of course. She was sad, however, that it’d been so long without such an occurrence. She was also, admittedly, a little bit envious of Endo for managing that.

What mattered was that Kota was happy though, everything else could be pushed aside.

“What did you even do?” she asked, and maybe it was too much to ask, but she was really hoping the boy had somehow stumbled into a way to make her nephew feel better. One that he could, ideally, share with her so that she could do that for Kota too. Although, she had a feeling that it wouldn’t be so simple.

“I just… talked to him. You know how he is, but he’s… he doesn’t want to be alone, I don’t think,” Endo said, turning his head as if to look at Kota through the wall. “I just tried to talk to him normally as best I could and we just… stumbled on something that he liked, I guess. He really likes sharks, by the way, all kinds of aquatic animals, really.”

Shino knew that already. She remembered all the drawings of sharks and fish and other things that Kota would make when he was younger, before his parents died. She’d also tried to go about talking to him normally as best she could and it had achieved nothing either. She’d done all that already, so…

So, it was because it was her, she supposed. Kota knew her and the rest of the Pussycats, and that made all the difference, she supposed. Shino didn’t think they were doing anything wrong – or at least she really hoped that wasn’t the case –, so her best guess was that Endo succeeded because he was someone new. He started off on a blank slate, and that helped him.

That’s what she wanted to believe, because the alternatives were too painful.

“I see,” was all she said, trying to keep her expression from showing how much that last possibility even being considered hurt her. ‘Right… he can feel that, can’t he?’ she thought then. It was also probably how he knew she was there to begin with. Shino made a mental note to try and remember that. “Then please, keep doing whatever you’re doing, Mr. Endo,” she added after a moment, taking a deep breath in.

“Of course,” the boy replied with a smile. “Happy to help. And please call me Kazuki, if it’s not too much to ask,” he added, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “Now… Did you need anything? I’m sure you didn’t come here just to chat.”

“Kota has assignments to do for school, but those can wait,” Shino told the Endo- Kazuki. Sure, school was important and all. But Kota was having a good time for what felt like the first time in years. She could let him be for the moment, she supposed.

“Maybe I can convince him to do those,” Kazuki replied jokingly, but Shino hoped he’d try. If Kota could be happy and not neglect his studies, that’d be even better. ‘I feel like I’m turning into such a mom,’ she thought, not for the first time, half amused and half filled with dread. “I should get back though, before the gremlin remembers how to sulk,” the boy added.

“Good luck,” Shino called softly and the boy gave her a wave before opening the door to the library and moving inside. Tellingly, Kazuki didn’t close the door behind him when he did. So, she stood outside for a while, just hearing the boys talking to each other.

And as she did, she decided that she could be more enthusiastic about the request from UA to take it easier on Kazuki.

[}-o-{]

[Kazuki Endo]

Funnily enough, his next proper training session, in the morning the next day, was with Shino.

The woman had insisted he call her by her first name too. Not only because of his own request to not use his last name, but also because of the help he was giving her with her nephew. He wasn’t going to complain too much. It was always nice to at least feel closer to people through the informality, but also to just… not be called Endo. It just always made him remember his family and they were… not something he wanted to think about overly much.

As it was, he was doing his absolute best to forget that his mother was still out there and all the mess that involved her at the moment.

He could suffer through that if it ever became relevant, he supposed.

Back to Shino though, he didn’t think he was helping that much, admittedly. Kota was still a ball of angst, by the looks of it. Not that he was one to talk, but still, a child that young shouldn’t be so full of emotions that he could pick up, nevermind how strongly he felt them. Not without some bullshit like Kazuki’s situation.

So, yeah, Kazuki didn’t think he was doing that much for them, truly. Admittedly, he’d been really happy to see the kid relax for a bit, even if it had been short-lived. Maybe he could do something about earning the gratitude Mandalay seemed to feel for what he was doing. If he kept at it and actually helped Kota, maybe then he’d think he deserved the praise.

That sounded good enough in his mind.

“Does it work?” Shino asked and he pulled back the half of his mind that had gone off topic and focused on the other half. The one that he was using to follow the woman’s advice to try and project emotions instead of what his Quirk normally did, which was… kind of attracting them. Collecting them? He wasn’t sure how to name that, to be honest.

“I don’t think so,” he admitted, but that was hardly surprising. He’d tried ever since he first got his Quirk to change the flow of the negativity. Admittedly, he’d tried to stop it, for the most part, but he’d also tried anything that would keep the emotions off of him.

One of those things was what he was attempting at that moment. He wasn’t proud of it, not at all, but he had tried to push off the weight on others before. He’d never managed and he wasn’t managing at that moment, even with Shino’s advice based on her own Quirk. A small part of him was a little relieved, because he knew that if he could, he’d forever be tempted to unload his Quirk’s burden on someone else. Hell, he didn’t like thinking about it, but he might do more than just be tempted.

Another part of him, however, was also very disappointed, disheartened. It was just another sign that he would likely be burdened forever. Nothing new, but every reminder hit just as hard, if not worse than the last. ‘It’s what it is,’ he told himself, trying to wave it off and not really succeeding.

“We expected it’d be difficult,” Shino told him and he held back the urge to chuckle bitterly. Instead, he settled for a smile with the same sentiment. “A Quirk’s new aspects usually come with some difficulties. I know some of your fellow students are struggling with similar things. Let’s keep trying, alright?” the woman told him and he stared at her for a long moment before nodding.

“Sure,” he answered, trying not to sound too defeated already. He said he’d try and he would, but he just wished trying didn’t involve hoping. No matter how much he tried to convince himself, a small part of him would find itself wishing he could manage, that he could find an escape, no matter how temporary.

All the same, Kazuki focused himself and then dove inwards, taking in the nodes within him and the streams of negativity that filled them. He “looked” at the threads then, following as he usually did when trying to find people. Then he tried to grab them, interact with them in any way.

Naturally, he couldn’t, he never could, but he tried anyway. He tried to slow the flow, or stop it, or redirect it… And nothing. The negativity kept flowing towards him, with no pause nor even a hint of anything else. The emotional energy, or whatever one wanted to call it, would only do one thing and that was moving towards him.

Kazuki kept at it though, because that’s what he was supposed to do. He probably wasn’t doing himself any favors, being so defeatist, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe it was his reluctance to hope – again – or maybe it was years of believing what he was attempting to be impossible.

“I think that’s enough for now,” Shino said, making him open his eyes and wonder how long he’d been sitting there. The sun certainly seemed to have moved, at least. “Let’s try something different and then take a break, what do you say?”

“Sure,” he answered, taking a deep breath in and then letting it out. “What did you have in mind?” he asked.

“I wanted to try and see if I could communicate with your Grimm. I know you said mind altering effects don’t work, but I’m wondering if communication would count as a sense or a mental effect,” Shino said and his curiosity was very much piqued.

He knew stuff like Shinso’s Quirk didn’t work on his Grimm, considering his fight with Neito during the Sports Festival. However, could his Grimm act as a relay for something like that? It could be both useful and not, admittedly. If it turned out to be bad though, he could just make them disappear the moment they became a liability.

“Sure thing,” he replied, a creature already appearing from his shadow. Shadow that he was trying to keep in use at all times regardless of the situation, but that training was neither here nor there. 

[}-o-{]

“Are you insane?” Kazuki asked, perturbed. He didn’t even know if he was asking that to Aizawa or Neito, honestly. “Why on Earth would you think this is a good idea?”

“Because your Quirk is strong, Boss,” Neito said, his emotions barely changing. He’d expected his reaction, apparently, but that was because what he said did indeed warrant such. What the hell was the guy-? “And we don’t know when we’ll need it.”

“Need two of it, you mean?” Kazuki said, all but growling. Neito was out of his mind if he thought he’d just let him copy his Quirk. Did his friend not realize how bad it was? Had he somehow underplayed it at some point? He lived complaining about it, for God’s sake.

“Yes,” was the flat answer he got and he started considering punching Neito. It was so tempting, so very temping. Alas, he was interrupted before he could decide if it would be worth it or not.

“Endo,” Aizawa called him, looking like he’d be making no effort to convince Neito that what he wanted to do was crazy. Why though? He was a teacher. He was supposed to be the reasonable one! “We’re here for you all to push your Quirks to the limit. This is part of his own attempts and I’m here to cancel the Quirks if things go badly.”

“When things go badly, you mean,” he hissed. Did everyone suddenly start thinking his Quirk was good or something? It was strong, he’d give Neito that, but it was also a nightmare. Had him regularly coming to Aizawa for help blocking it out somehow not driven the point across well enough for the teacher?

“Kazuki.” The use of his name gave him more pause than anything, because he didn’t remember the last time Neito had used it, at least when talking to him. “Please,” the other boy said and he could feel his resolve crumbling. Especially because neither Neito nor Aizawa looked like he could convince them to stop that lunacy.

“... I will tell you that I told you so,” he replied weakly. More than angry, he was worried, because he knew that his friend wouldn’t have a good time, at all. “Give one good reason other than maybe needing my Quirk to be copied, please.”

“Your’s is not the only Quirk in the world with a strong drawback,” Aizawa started and he hated that he had that “what I say makes sense” voice. Kazuki didn’t want him to make sense. “It’s likely that Monoma will face a situation with such a Quirk and it’d be ideal if he were ready to deal with such backlash and do so quickly.”

That did make some sense, he supposed.

And boy would it be backlash, but still-

“Don’t you think mine might be too much?” Kazuki asked.

“It definitely is,” Aizawa agreed and that took some of the wind out of his sails. “But we don’t have anyone else with such an immediate and harsh drawback other than Kaminari. In that regard, however, it’s more about Monoma learning to hold back when first using a Quirk, so that he can know if there’s such a thing as too much in regards to it. Yours, however, is the only one that has drawbacks just having it at all.”

Fuck, that did make sense.

“I want it on the record that this is a terrible idea,” he grumbled, deciding to just give up.

“I want it on the record that none of us would be here if we didn’t think it was necessary or our only option,” Aizawa said, but that didn’t comfort Kazuki at all. In a way, he supposed it wasn’t meant to. UA was very worried about those villains, apparently, enough to push for Plus Plus Ultra, by the looks of things. ‘Is there something we don’t know? Something we’re missing?’ Kazuki wondered. He had no answers though, and he rather doubted he’d get any if they hadn’t been told already.

“Let’s get this over with then, yeah?” he said, turning towards Neito, who nodded firmly. Kazuki was not looking forward to seeing what his Quirk did to his friend. It seemed his concern had finally gotten through to the blonde too, because he paused and seemed to take a moment before reaching towards him.

As he did, Kazuki did his best to get his emotions under control, even if they’d be but a bucket in the pool of negativity that Neito was about to experience. Although, admittedly, he found himself hoping that his Quirk would be one of those Neito couldn’t copy. He knew he had trouble with Quirks that needed stockpiling of some kind… The problem was that his Quirk’s main issue was, precisely, the stockpiling being done very “easily”.

So, he was not surprised when Neito reacted immediately.

He wasn’t surprised, but he was certainly horrified. As soon as the blonde touched him, he paled. Then Kazuki paled, because he felt Neito’s emotions spiking. And a second later, he felt nothing.

Turning towards Aizawa, he saw the reason why.

Evidently, he’d seen that one coming.

What he hadn’t seen coming was that the single feedback of his Quirk would still be too much. Neito hadn’t gotten any better. He’d gotten worse. It took him a second to fall to his knees, a strangled whimper escaping his mouth… And then he dropped like a puppet with his strings cut.

“That was…” Aizawa started, voice calm as he stared straight at Neito, already cancelling the whole thing. Yet, Kazuki could pick up on how disturbed he was, with his Quirk back. “More intense than I expected,” the teacher finished.

Kazuki could hear the ‘and that’s saying something’ that the man didn’t say.

“I told you so,” he said. He’d have wanted to put more accusation in his tone, or anger, or frustration. Instead, all he managed was concern as he crouched next to Neito.

“How do you do it?” the blonde asked, pushing himself up the smallest bit, his arms shaking and his breath ragged. “They are all so… tired and some are hurt and sad and frustrated and I was so tired and hurt and sad and-”

“I know,” Kazuki said, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I know,” he repeated, squeezing reassuringly. “It sucks,” he added, getting a semi-broken chuckle out of Neito.

“Suddenly,” the blonde breathed out. “I’m learning you have a gift for understatements, Boss,” his friend added, giving him a wry look. “Fuck.”

“... Yeah,” he said. He could sense him not really getting any better. He was still shaken, he was still trying and failing to pull himself together. “Come on,” he decided, grabbing Neito’s shoulders and dragging him to the border of the forest and sitting him there. “Take a deep breath in,” he started while doing so himself. He was happy to see his friend actually listening. “Now, focus on what you can see. Focus on the forest, the trees, the plants, you might even see some insects or birds,” he said.

As he spoke, Neito nodded slowly, continuing to breathe in and out slowly.

“Focus on what you can hear, the wind and the leaves and the birds in the distance,” he continued, keeping his voice low and soft. “Focus on what you can feel, like the dirt beneath you, the breeze on your skin. Focus on what you can smell, like the wood and the clear air and nature.”

“... Boss,” Neito mumbled, breathing in again. “You would make a great yoga instructor.”

“What do you think my back up plan is if the hero thing doesn’t work out?” he asked, getting a weak chuckle out of the blonde and a half-hearted smirk. He was trying to act like he usually did, like everything was fine, but he was doing so to the wrong guy. “You good, man?”

“Yeah… I’ll just… stay here for a bit,” Neito replied and Kazuki nodded. Before he could stand up and turn away though, the boy spoke again. “Wasn’t your fault, Boss. It was my choice.”

“Yeah. The problem is that you’re an idiot,” he commented, only half-joking. Maybe not even that much. “Listen to me next time.”

“You’re the Boss.”

“Maybe you’ll remember that next time,” Kazuki said wearily, shoulder dropping. When he turned, he was met with a very guilty Aizawa, even if the man didn’t look much different from usual. Kazuki could tell.

“I’m sorry,” was all the man said and he really did mean it, which was why Kazuki’s anger subsided the smallest bit.

“I’ll take it as a compliment,” he replied with a wry smile. “Evidently, I’ve gotten really good at acting like I’m fine.”

And to be honest, he’d thought he might have been exaggerating himself.

All of them had been wrong.

[} Chapter End {]

Hey guys! How’s it going?

Well, that was something that was going to happen at some point, I’m sure everyone knew. Especially with Monoma being such a prominent character in this story and so close to Kazuki. Now, it has happened… and it was definitely something, no denying that.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.

Discord Link: discord.gg/UTDransjJZ

Random Question: What’s your favorite medieval weapon? I used to have a thing for regular swords, like shortswords and such. Lately though, I’ve started liking axes more. They don’t get a lot of love compared to swords and I think they are just as neat. Personally, handaxes are my favorite.

See you.