sadness - orange love

at this point this song is genuinely old. I started it on february 9th of 2018. the instrumental side was finished almost immediately but as always the reason it's taken well over 3 years to finally consider it finished is because of the vocals. the clean vocals at 2:52 were tracked in 2019. the plan for this song was to always have purely clean singing that would follow that main melody you hear at the beginning and end but that proved to be too hard to sing so I gave up on that idea and eventually decided to just scream and yell the lyrics throughout the song. the entire album was really only going to include clean singing and no screaming or whatever (sounds a lot like 2018 damian). I was way more interested in pretty melodies and singing. this is the album that includes "see you in the orange light" and "I can't say goodbye" and "on a green" (yet to be finished, last one remaining). all of these are songs from 2018. if you listen closely you might noticed similarities between this album and "i want to be there" because they were both essentially written at the same time in the first half of 2018. as a matter of fact way back then these songs were supposed to be life's "demo five" but eventually I realized this has nothing at all to do with what life is about musically. I just remember at one point wanting to pursue "life" as my main vessel for expression because I genuinly hate the band name "sadness". I still do but whatever. I don't know how to describe what "orange love" means in any finite amount of time or words, but basically, certain tones of orange are the most magical color to me, and when I attach and associate or connect things to this tonality they suddenly become exceedingly more potent, placing them in these dreamscapes and places that feel beyond my head but i can feel them so vividly. orange love is about basically a lovestory with no context, just the pure feeling, living and drifting through this tonality, this dreamscape of pure lush orange magic saturating everything. it's absolutely pure and beautiful. I genuinely don't know how much more clearly I can describe what I mean by any of this as it really feels beyond linguistic comprehension. I feel channels and tunnels and passages, motions through time, planes of existence adorned with spores and rich moments of timelessness, everything as densely packed as can be, everything feels absolute. absolute. this state of being that's absolute, and I can only really associate it to my dreams, or moments in my life that felt like dreaming. the song "see you in the orange light" has to do with this too. my own personal experience with these songs is I genuinely feel like I'm tethered to this dream world when I listen to them. it's very lucid. a lot of things about the music are strategically placed in a way to evoke this feeling. in some ways it might sound like the mix is terrible, which it probably is but I don't care. the placement of everything somewhat sounds like the space in my head that I want to  capture. the tonality (c# minor) is the most orange magic sound I can think of, and the melodies to me sound just like the fire in some of the most dreamlike feelings in the most intense moments of my life. all of this applies to "see you in the orange light" as well. I don't know what else to say about this song. lyrics below. as soon as I finish "on a green" (which, as always, has been 99% done for three years just need to finish the vocals), I'll release the entire album on bandcamp and spotify and whatever

____________

as orange chiming love

as pure magic 

as sporous shimmering stars on a juvenescent veil  

wearing her tresses as an angel song 

angelic burning eyes 

verbrennen orange love star 

coloring every story and every inch of the river 

innumerable orange lights in a dreamplay 

as we walk towards 

going 

like love