try & you'll just forget

both songs are essentially one in the same, thematically at least. you'll just forget Tuesday, December 11, 2018 at 3:09 PM, and "try" was created Monday, January 14, 2019 at 9:38 AM and uploaded to youtube the same day. "Try" kind of falls into a different category of sadness song. most of the track is 112 - Cupid run through a whole pedalboard of reverb and delay and even more digital distortion and delays, and then the very end is me playing guitar and adding some synth bass. the sample song choice is extremely relevant to the theme because at this time I was through tremendous heartbreak. Cupid was one song associated with that person and whenever things ended it was obviously very hard to listen to. not only is there sadness attached to it but it's also a very pretty song, and some of the lyrics stung me deep when I would hear them, "Cupid doesn't lie
But you won't know unless you give it a try
Oh baby, true love
won't lie but we won't know unless we give it a try
give it a try"
in my situation I felt so desperate for effort and for her to try, but alas...
this is where the title "try" comes from, but there's also a song I made 7 years prior in late 2011 called "try", which in some ways have very similar feelings. I thought it was fitting in both ways. because the song has a sample I really just intended to be a youtube only thing, but you can find it as a bonus track on the "atna" vinyl.

You'll just forget is about the very same person. I actually wrote and recorded most of the song before the separation happened, but clearly leading up to it I was still sad and empty. I remember we were together one night and she was talking about specifically her childhood and how she has basically no memory of it, not even pictures. she had talked to me before about having very poor memory of her past, and I started to think "you'll just forget me too". I felt this worry that I wouldn't ever be as significant as she was to me, and no matter what these moments will never mark her deeply enough to carry in her memory. this premonition was obviously maximized when about a week later she actually separated from me. somehow this theme became so much more literal. as of today in may of 2021 I'm probably leaning towards that she has forgotten, but I'm not sad about it because I got over that situation a long time ago. it's interesting though. the lyrics go"
on snow covered in hills in an empty room  watching the world cry  we cry too  somehow in our arms we are still crying  I want to be confident  and you’ll just forget"
throughout the time I knew her I felt us both feel this looming feeling of loss and melancholy, personally, from both of our individual lives. somehow even interlaced in our arms we were crying, and like I said before, I wanted to feel confidence and security, but she would just forget.