Chapter 6: Mom’s Macaroni

The main room of their mother’s small apartment was, under normal circumstances, comforting in its familiarity. Right now it felt terrifying and suffocating, however. Romeo’s new form felt especially out of place in the home they’d grown up in. With all the memories of their boyhood here, they felt almost like some sort of fairy changeling stealing the spot of their mother’s son.

It was amazing what a few hours of introspection (and a thousands of years old curse) did to one’s perspective.

Their mother walked in from the stairs, having needed a moment to settle everyone down in the bakery before coming up.

She walked over to the recliner and sat down, Romeo turning on the love seat to face her.

“So… I don’t remember it going this quickly for Logan,” their mother said.

“What?” Romeo asked.

“The whole… transition. Is it faster for women, or… is it because you had more money?” she explained.

“Wha—no. No. I didn’t—this isn’t… It wasn’t…” Romeo paused, trying to work out a way to explain what happened without sounding crazy. There didn’t seem to be one. “I got cursed.”

Their mother blinked.

“I ran afoul of an ancient Greek deity in Turkey. I think I got lucky, after reading the sorts of transformations that usually happen to people in myths. I wasn’t turned into a plant or an animal, so… that’s something?” they offered.

“An… ancient Greek god?” their mother replied.

“Deity,” a voice said from the tv.

Both Romeo and their mother turned to it, confused to see the tv suddenly on. Though Romeo was less thrown off when they spotted the androgynous winged being on the screen, sitting as the anchor for some sort of news programme.

“Deity is more gender neutral than ‘god’, thank you very much,” Hermaphroditus explained.

“Th-the… the tv is talking to us?” their mother said, before things clicked into place in her eyes. “Wait, you’re the one that did this to my little Romeo? Why?”

Hermaphroditus shuffled the papers on their desk, before absently perusing them. “Well… the string of broken hearts your ‘little Romeo’ has left behind are enough to drive a deity of marriage such as myself up the wall, but the issue was more his father meddling in my work too many times.”

“His fa—wait, so there wasn’t something funny in the weed that night?” their mother asked. “I actually slept with a glowing angel of a man with wings?”

“I can say nothing either way on that first subject, but the second portion is… mostly correct. We Erotes do not especially care for comparisons with angels, however… nor is my dear brother Cupid well behaved enough to be called ‘angelic’ in the more secular meaning,” Hermaphroditus replied, looking more than a little annoyed.

“I slept with a god,” Erica Valenti muttered.

Her eyes went wide as she realised that was some amazing bragging rights right there.

The sparkling only lasted for a few moments before she realised the more pressing issue. “How long are you going to keep poor Romeo like this?”

Hermaphroditus shrugged. “Until I get bored. Or until Eros apologizes for his most recent meddling… which obviously won’t happen.”

“That’s what I’m having to deal with,” Romeo said, with a shrug of their own. “Who knows how long it takes a… uh… an I-don’t-know-how-ancient-deity to get bored.”

Their mother nodded slowly, processing the information as Hermaphroditus gave a wave and the tv shut off.

“So… how are you holding up with the change, then?” Erica asked.

“Eehhh… it’s mixed? I… yesterday my skin was crawling. Today I kind of like it,” they admitted. “I don’t really know what it means, but it’s… probably something gender?”

“And the name? Rosalind?”

“… I panicked and had already started saying Romeo,” they replied with a blush. “It was the first name to pop in my head that sort of worked…”

“Ah,” their mother said. “Well, know that I will love you whatever you end up working out about your gender.”

“Thanks mum,” Romeo replied with a smile, before realising they were starting to genuinely tear up.

They didn’t feel more emotional than they’d expected with the weight of the conversation, but the fact it brought out tears was surprising. Their mother came over and gave them a hug, which Romeo was happy to receive. They really didn’t spend enough time with her.

After a few moments, their mother spoke up. “I’m sure they need you back in Toronto, but what do you say I cook you some lunch before you go?”

“That sounds good. Thank you,” Romeo replied.

-b

While their mother cooked, Romeo popped open their phone to text a question to Logan.

Only to find roughly a hundred missed texts from having put the phone on ‘do not disturb’. Mostly from bandmates wanting to know where they were. There were also a couple of messages from JK, which Romeo checked first. They consisted of pictures of odd varieties of insects that the keyboardist had found out about.

It was amazing how many of those JK had found over the years, and yet he kept finding more. Romeo texted back ‘cool’ before moving on to the more serious messages.

Rachel had continued to try to get information out of them for what seemed to be about half an hour after they’d put their phone on ‘do not disturb’. Only to pause for an hour, before texting again about having set up a doctor’s appointment for them that was scheduled in two days. They sent her a thank you.

Logan and Hank had also both tried to get a hold of them, wondering where they were. They also both had ideas about the band and what Romeo could do to make things work. Hank was working on a ‘claim an injury’ train of thought, while Logan was wanting to work out ways to improve their passing.

Lastly, a few texts from Jovita and Frankie were focused more on asking how Romeo was holding up. Well meaning, but, feeling tiring at this stage.

They were glad to have their mother call them to the dinner table, freshly baked macaroni and cheese and bacon at the ready. The top was crunchy goodness, while the interior was a gooey delight.

“You know, with how cute you are like this, maybe you could help with my new business venture idea,” their mom said, after they’d grabbed a few mouthfuls.

“Hm?” Romeo replied, swallowing what was in their mouth.

“Well, you know how cat cafés are getting more popular these days?” their mother asked, getting a confused slow nod from Romeo. “Since we’re called ‘Il Gato’ I thought it would make sense for us to try the model out too. Unfortunately, it turns out there’s a lot of paperwork involved with the board of health and all that… plus I don’t really have the space for a cat section… but, I was looking at similar ideas, and found out cat-girl cafés are a thing in Japan and I thought we could try something similar.”

Romeo stared at their mother. “Aren’t your customers mostly old Italian ladies?”

“Are you saying old Italian ladies can’t appreciate a cute theme? Or wouldn’t like to see Mario down there in a butler suit with some cat ears?” Erica asked.

“I—” Romeo began, before the mental image hit them, and made their cheeks go hot. “Ok… I guess he’d look good.”

“While you and the girls would help attract some new clientele. Oh, and when you figure out how to undo your curse, you would definitely attract new customers if you were to dress in the new uniform,” their mother replied.

“I’ll… think about it,” Romeo replied. “I should really grab the train back to Toronto soon, though. I think the rest of the band are going to start a riot if I don’t.”

Their mother gave a nod. She then moved on to questions about Romeo’s tour of Europe. Things she’d mostly already known about, since they tended to keep in touch online.

They finished the meal a short while later, Romeo excusing themself and heading downstairs. On their way out, they found Mario out back, the solidly built man hanging up his apron.

“Done for the day?” Romeo asked.

“Sì. I have the morning shifts,” the man replied. “Are you leaving as well?”

Romeo nodded, feeling small next to him. “I’m going back to Toronto.”

“Ah! I can give you a drive,” he offered with a smile.

“Oh, well… it’s a bit out of the way…” they mumbled, not wanting to say no, but…

“I need to get to know the area more,” Mario said with a smile.

Romeo found themself trying to act cute in reply, not really sure how to flirt in the feminine way they felt inclined to right now.

They walked out to Mario’s car, where Romeo discovered a tiny Italian vehicle they could barely believe would fit Mario’s solid frame, let alone two people.

Yet they did both manage to fit, and Romeo found there was more room than they expected. Mario did end up pushing into Romeo’s personal space as he looked over his shoulder to back out of the parking lot, but… that wasn’t so bad.

And then they were off.

Like a bullet.

Romeo found their knuckles turning white as they grabbed onto the dashboard, cursing that they’d forgotten what Italian drivers were like. Mario swerved between traffic at least twenty kilometres an hour above the rest of the traffic.

“So, what do you do, signorina Valenti?” Mario asked, while reaching a highway ramp faster than Romeo thought possible.

“Sing,” Romeo yelped as they swerved past a few more cars.

“Ah! I am sure your voice is lovely,” he said, turning to smile at Romeo.

Which would have been nice to see if they weren’t running down the highway at 120km/h.

“I am very thankful for your aunt hiring me,” he said, looking back at the road at last. “I only just moved to this country. You see, my great aunt has gotten older and she has no children to look after her… she… well…”

He dropped to a whisper, looking shy. “It turns out she is a lesbian. So that’s why she never had children. My father apparently asked her not to tell my siblings, I had no idea. Her and her roommate were actually married all that time…”

Romeo nodded along, realising Mario’s shy nervousness about the subject effectively confirmed the man was straight. Which left them sighing, seeing their hopes of a fun night with the cute himbo dashed against the rocks before it got off the ground.

Alright, so that was a mixed metaphor, but Romeo was still a bit jet lagged, so it was fine.

The conversation shifted to general topics about the region, Romeo wanting to still be friendly. Mario was still one of their mum’s employees after all. They’d see him again. Which they really wouldn’t mind, even if it was ‘look but don’t touch’.

Then things got interesting when Mario’s Italian driving met Toronto traffic, and Romeo was once more too busy worrying for their life to maintain functional conversations. They were very glad to live downtown, not far from the highway that cut along near the lakeshore.

“Well,” Romeo said, catching their breath again as the car came to a sudden stop outside their condo tower. “That was… interesting. And… only forty minutes. Not… bad.”

“Canadian roads are very nice to drive on,” Mario replied, all smiles. “The lanes are wide and everyone leaves so much space between their cars for people in a hurry.”

Romeo barely held back a grimace. “Y-yeah. Definitely…”

They started to get out of the car, when they noticed a sort of nervous sadness in Mario’s eyes. It was clear he was debating asking them a question.

Right. He didn’t have many friends in the country yet.

“I’ll give you my number, if you’d like. I’d be happy to show you some of the sights in the region,” they said with a smile.

“Oh! That sounds lovely!” Mario replied, pulling out his phone.

With numbers exchanged, Romeo waved him off, cringing at the screeching rubber as Mario swerved around a streetcar to head back onto the highway.

Romeo headed inside, sitting down in the lobby for a moment to ground themself. If they closed their eyes they almost still felt like they were moving…

Then they pulled their phone back out, sending a text to Logan, asking him to come over. They really had to sort out this… gender stuff.