HeartTheft
Added 2023-12-24 06:31:07 +0000 UTCHi all, so very busy month, I have a sick family member and I am working on about a dozen Menagerie images, but I REALLY wanted to get an up-to-date post for HeartTheft up before I head up to NY in... literally an hour.
This version of the manuscript takes us all the way up through my most recent stream reading, and as far as I have concretely written right now. There are going to be a BUNCH of new chapters in here for you all, and I'm not going to bother splitting them up this time, so scan until you've found where you left off, k?
As ever, feedback is appreciated! Some of these chapters are VERY raw, having only had one or two passes.
Comments
I'm about to do a full pass on responses from this story as I do my final editing pass on the manuscript, and I want to give this string of comments special attention, since I think there's a lot of really helpful feedback here. Hope you're still following!
Rukis
2024-03-09 18:56:16 +0000 UTCThe latest chapters were so good. I feel so bad for Malachi I worry one of two things will happen. He will become a mortal enemy of Isi or worse he will do something terrible to himself like commit suicide. I hope there is some way this turns out ok.
Smoke
2024-01-03 03:24:49 +0000 UTCI'm on the fence about the future of Isidor and Malachi. Isi might have taken advantage of the moment, but it was to save Darcy. Isi is honest, wears his heart on his sleeve. Malachi knows that, so something between them was genuine. Isi was supportive and accepting of Malachi, not condemning him. Malachi understands and has experienced love and loss. I could easily see the pressure building to the point where it explodes on those who are actually hurting him, especially if they were involved in Eli's death.
Tom Noyb
2023-12-31 13:23:52 +0000 UTC1. Wow, the scene with Isi and Malachi was just amazing. It’s a wonderful moment of characterization for both of them — Isidor’s cleverness and his efforts to navigate through a new, rapidly developing worldview and value system are on full display, and Malachi desperately trying to find a way to theologically justify them being together. Malachi’s tortured declaration of love is really powerful, too. 2. I agree with Marcwolf that they have made a mortal enemy of Malachi. We of course know why Isi did it, but from Mal’s perspective, Isidor just manipulated and humiliated him in just about the cruelest way possible. He dangled hope in front of Malachi and then snatched it away again. Malachi made himself vulnerable in a way he probably hasn’t since Eli, only to find out that it was all a trick. 3. This also sets up a dynamic where Malachi has every reason to want Isidor killed and not captured — he hates Isi’s guts and also realizes that he has some pretty strong blackmail material. He also now has a cheap, effective, selective anti-Isidor weapon in the form of that otter-made fang powder. He could just buy a giant batch of it from Otter Costco or whatever and then liberally dust every surface of a room with it, making the room basically Isidor-proof. 4. The heart to heart between Cillian and Isidor, followed by Darcy’s own recounting of their past, really fleshes out a lot of their backstory and motivations. I’m almost afraid to ask, but was the thing where Cillian’s parents bought Darcy as a companion for their son based on a real practice, or just made up? 5. The sex scene did a great job of capturing Isidor’s awkward but enthusiastic inexperience, with Darcy clearly guiding him along. It was really sweet — if temporarily disappointing — that Isi tried to delay it until later out of concern for Darcy’s physical and mental condition. 6. I don’t know if this was intentional or not, but you dropped a huge clue to Darcy’s physiological sex the first time you mentioned the idea that Cillian wanted to marry them. If Cillian’s family had regarded Darcy as anything other than female (something tells me they wouldn’t have accepted or understood Darcy being NB), then the big scandal wouldn’t have been that they were “just” a feline and a servant! 7. Question: Does the Ministry only handle religious crimes and state security issues, or do they also investigate more “mundane” criminal activity like murders, robberies, smuggling, fraud, etc? If not, is there someone else who covers these kinds of things? 8. A quibble: characterizing the secular agents of the Ministry as being like mercenaries doesn’t really make sense, as everything else you say about them suggests they are absolutely NOT like mercenaries at all — they’re permanent staff of their own country’s government. 9. I was intrigued to note that apparently the Ministry is surprisingly open minded about hiring non-canines as secular agents. We’ve seen a lot about the Templar, but I’d be curious to know more about the secular agents, especially the non-canine ones. Are they motivated by the pay/prestige of working for the Ministry, genuine religious conviction, patriotism to the Crown, a genuine desire to protect others, the intellectual stimulation/thrill factor of detective work, or some combination? Are they anywhere close to being on the level of the Templar in terms of training and skill, or are they mostly just there to take mundane tasks off the Templars’ plates? 10. In case it wasn’t clear, Darcy and Isidor are adorable together. Also, poor Cillian deserves some sort of happiness. Sure, he broke Darcy’s heart under duress, but he’s been putting himself at terrible risk for them this whole story.
ZBMarten
2023-12-27 16:17:08 +0000 UTCHmmm I definitely don't see that :/ bummer *EDIT* Just tried it on a different browser and now it works. Weird.
KiskaBeaust
2023-12-26 19:50:52 +0000 UTCYou should be able to download by clicking the HeartTheft.rtf in blue at the bottom
Tom Noyb
2023-12-26 17:06:26 +0000 UTCSilly question... am I missing the link to the writing? Or is it just the art?
KiskaBeaust
2023-12-26 16:27:36 +0000 UTCPowerful.. Passionate.. I only hope that they find a place to be themselves. Really looking forward to how the accomplish that. Sadly I think they have made a mortal enemy of Malachi. First Darcy having escaped from him, and secondly Isi dredging his darkest secret from him and discarding it as if it meant nothing to Isis.
Marcwolf
2023-12-25 02:51:46 +0000 UTCThank you for the Xmas present. I was really starting to suffer some I&D withdrawal. Best image so far. Your work is appreciated. Have a nice trip. After Reading - Most compelling/surprising moment was when Malachi appeared. Painful to hear his justification. Painful what Isidor is doing to him. Unlikely, but maybe he can be rescued. Authentic the way Darcy is now starting to give Isidor more "control". Respect is always part of affection.
Tom Noyb
2023-12-24 14:03:50 +0000 UTCAm loving this story/artwork and look forward to buying a copy when it's out! ❤️ Happy Holidays and hope your family member is alright! 🙂
ProwlingPaws
2023-12-24 09:48:43 +0000 UTCWe love the amazing stories and artwork you do, Merry Christmas Rukis!
RaxusArt
2023-12-24 06:38:12 +0000 UTC
