February production diary: Observations from the Outrage Vortex
Added 2025-02-07 23:57:41 +0000 UTCWhy I took the DIY HRT video down, and how I've been doing since.
My episode of Something Rotten with Jacob Geller and Blake Hester is only on Nebula right now, but it'll be out everywhere next week. Listen here.
Keep your eyes peeled for an announcement Monday :)
Comments
Gosh I hardly go on Patreon, I don't usually use the perks I usually just donate to my favourite creators :) - so this is a little late! I'm sorry it's been so hard! But thanks for everything - I don't think you even have one dud video I just love all of them.
Gigantobear
2025-03-17 06:47:54 +0000 UTCTwo channel sound sounds like a good idea. I listen to music which uses that pretty often for different voice lines. I wonder if it could be possible to utilise something for spoken material - after all, spoken sound also has pitch therefore it can be arranged in some clean intervals.
Sam
2025-02-12 17:30:51 +0000 UTCI appreciate this :) thank you
Lily Alexandre
2025-02-12 02:50:05 +0000 UTCI will definitely be releasing alternate versions that are just the left & right sides, with regular audio :) Disorientation is def part of the intended experience, but I’m sure there are people for whom it would be challenging in a bad/not-especially-compelling way. I think the main upload will also work if people choose to turn the sound off and just read the subtitles.
Lily Alexandre
2025-02-12 02:49:19 +0000 UTCWhoa, I know what I’m reading tomorrow! Thanks!!
Lily Alexandre
2025-02-12 02:42:35 +0000 UTCRe: vanishing and trans visibility, the anthology "Trap Door: Trans Cultural Production and the Politics of Visibility" edited by Eric Stanley, Reina Gossett and Johanna Burton is a really great theoretical dive into the complexity of aesthetic and political trans visibility
Alex Neal
2025-02-12 01:09:40 +0000 UTCReally appreciate u Lily!!!
Trevor, Vanquisher
2025-02-08 21:40:33 +0000 UTCI rushed to watch the video because I was worried about how long it would stay up. I definitely understand the choice. As someone old enough to remember the role visibility played in increasing acceptance of gays and lesbians I feel a strong pull towards choosing to be out as trans (especially as a trans masc person who can pass and makes an effort to make sure people know that they know a trans person.) But I also feel like that's a luxury I have that not everyone shares.
Jamie
2025-02-08 21:21:52 +0000 UTCYou're super wise
biquinary
2025-02-08 19:38:17 +0000 UTCsorry to hear the reception to that vid was so miserable. what a terrible way to be repaid for compiling such a meaningful resource. i understand wanting to make your next work a little more "inaccessible" in a way not just to protect yourself but also to express yourself more authentically. however.... the audio split thing sounds kinda like a nightmare!! at least for someone like me who is autistic or others who have audio processing disorders. if you're willing it might be nice to have versions available to patrons where only one audio channel is playing at a time, since we'd obviously still love to engage with the thoughts you're putting out. personally speaking i find it aggravating and impossible to focus even when im hearing a second conversation just across the room or something. i wouldnt last a few seconds having two narrators clashing at the exact same time. but if that would compromise the vision too much i also think it's fine if some of us just aren't allowed to cross the barrier. art doesn't need to accommodate everyone! just something to consider, regarding what the video is trying to be and who it's for.
Max Miller
2025-02-08 19:02:52 +0000 UTCCheck out Sunny Flowers from my hometown in Aus 🌞💐 if you don't know her already, I fell confident in saying you'll love her!
cr0nes
2025-02-08 05:35:57 +0000 UTCAlso! Thank you so much for the Black Dresses song! 😍😍😍 (anime wow)
cr0nes
2025-02-08 05:34:29 +0000 UTCAlso, shout out to my brother for telling me all sorts of bullshit when I was young 😂.
cr0nes
2025-02-08 05:23:22 +0000 UTCFurther to that, beliefs are a choice, an intellectual exercise, also a thin and ephemeral entity. You can "choose" to believe another thing any time. Bad actors are instinctively or consciously aware of this. People derive a sense of power from influence, and we live in a disempowered world where the main moral compass is also 'beliefs', in my opinion. Perhaps I personally am having an existential crisis hehe but there seemed to be so much more solid information pre-internet, even if that was highly flawed, it was influenced by something tangible (surroundings, another solid real person telling you, asserting to you, their relationship to you). Now it seems, with the availability of 'correct' information, perhaps we are terrified of being incorrect in our beliefs because of how easy it is to prove them otherwise, and how stupid we would feel, and how we would have to rely on our own energy loop to pull ourselves out of shame and fear... Ahh the neo liberal paradigm again, I knew it! 😂
cr0nes
2025-02-08 05:21:40 +0000 UTCHeya, I feel that any good will or relationship built up in a community on the internet can be destroyed by one piece of misinformation at any time, because the feeling of connection that you get with a creator simply doesn't exist in a tangible, feel able way. Viewers are choosing to engage with a flat screen of information, there is no real energy exchange or other information that informs our beliefs about a person on the internet other than our beliefs about that person, and if we are convinced not to believe that through fear or manipulation, because no other real senses information or interaction exists, then there is no more convincingly dissenting information to add. I think that is the context removing barrier of video broadcast, text based replies. A lot of people see engaging only with their own emotional response to information as real human connection, but you're just feeding your own emotion into a screen, in a way. I'm sure you feel real, I feel real, and here are my words, broadcast to you and everyone else who feels real, but if I close my eyes and reach out for you in a tangible sense, everything else in me doesn't back up those claims, so I'm relying on the strength of my belief in your character on the information given to understand that you exist and are real and are who you say you are.
cr0nes
2025-02-08 05:10:04 +0000 UTCI know it wasn't intentional but have you considered you successfully did the exact right thing? You hit a wide audience, got the information out, then took it down before it was up long enough to attract any governmental attention. So I got it when I needed it (and I simply cannot thank you enough 🥹) and I got a copy, and I can very quietly share it directly with those who need it as a point of entry. It has already been helpful. How many more like me? Probably not zero. Also have those with "real worries" really considered what they're denying their trans sisters by gatekeeping so ridiculously hard? Like goddamn nobody else was giving me this very important information!
Palpable Pips
2025-02-08 04:53:41 +0000 UTCYour DIY video took courage and I applaud you for that. At the same time, do whatever you need to do to be safe and feel safe. There is danger in this world and I wish we could be much more effective in protecting vulnerable groups.
Bert Speelpenning
2025-02-08 02:35:10 +0000 UTCSo glad you found Lily's work. She helped me on my journey. Spot the references: - I do not know if my vacuum is true - The scent of thyme from the sprig I cut this morning
Ash Joubert
2025-02-08 02:18:13 +0000 UTCLily, much respect for your DIY HRT video: well-researched, responsible, much-needed, and still getting views even while unlisted! 🌟 The unhinged backlash from a minority of our own community is heartbreaking. 💔 Security by obscurity is no security at all, and those who think they can protect DIY by bullying people who talk openly about it are not helping anyone. 🙈 Take care of yourself and know that your work is appreciated. 🙏 First put on your own oxygen mask. ❤️🏳️⚧️
Ash Joubert
2025-02-08 02:01:02 +0000 UTCI do this you somewhat underestimate how many people do take headlines at face value, and don't look further. Based on seeing people reacting to just news headlines and not looking further or critically thinking about them quite often. Like I'll see loads of posts on Reddit recommended to me of people posting The Telegraph (a right wing news paper in the UK), peddling absolute nonsense, and lots of people take the headline on board as fact without questioning it at all. I think the approach of not doing that isn't as universal as you might think
AnEdgyWeeb
2025-02-08 01:01:23 +0000 UTCI really appreciated the video, and I'm sorry that the negative comments placed such a huge burden on you. I understand the reasons for unlisting the video, and am totally on board with the ideas you proposed for "Notes on Vanishing"! Thank you for the outro song as well. Take care 💞
Ainsley Ellis
2025-02-08 00:44:36 +0000 UTCThere was always going to be people overreacting to the video. I'm not sure if the economics make sense, but you could consider getting a community manager to read the comments for you. To be honest, I can't believe anyone reads their own comments - it can't be good for the mental health.
Reginald Excellent
2025-02-08 00:36:15 +0000 UTCI'm really so sorry you had to deal with all of the horribleness coming from those people. For what it's worth, the DIY video was how I found your work, and it was what got me watching your other videos. So in that, I'm really glad you published it. Not to mention that the video was also incredibly helpful for me personally for de-mystifying DIY (which, while I don't currently need, given the state of the US, who knows) and presenting it as approachable, rather than something that only takes place in seedy back alleys. Sending positive vibes your way, and thank you for all the work you put into your videos!
MyGirlFryday
2025-02-08 00:33:56 +0000 UTCit’s so awful how much vitriol gets thrown around online and how discourses spin out and narratives are formed with no regard for like.. any actual fact. fuck all those people, thank you for making the video regardless <3 as someone in the US it’s been sticking with me as a reminder that things that seem bad now are not necessarily the end of the world (also the new video sounds so cool i’m very much looking forward to seeing it, your art is always so engaging)
nora s
2025-02-08 00:24:53 +0000 UTCOne of the things I appreciate most about the video is that you include respectful disclaimers and prioritize safety. Part of safety is making sure people have access to medical care, whether their local government supports them or not. I live in the "US of Canada" (Alberta) and this video is helping me have conversations with people who do not have access to HRT. Just having access to the video has brought relief to a few of my friends' many anxieties that have been exasperated by current events. Take care of yourself and thank you always for sharing 💚💚
Forrest Friesen
2025-02-08 00:10:47 +0000 UTC💜 thank you so much for having made the video regardless and i’m so sorry this is the world we have to live in
euphonica
2025-02-08 00:09:51 +0000 UTC
