"Void" bonus video! "Assimilation: Your Box Wasn't Built for You"
Added 2021-03-14 02:55:15 +0000 UTCThanks for your patience with this one, folks. The past few weeks have been crazy, with the end of the world celebrating its first birthday and all.
Here are a couple thoughts on sexism and assimilation. Hope you enjoy!
Comments
I'm way late to this conversation but the question "am I more comfortable" is a tricky one to ask. Because, yes, living out and transitioning are uncomfortable. Even if there was no transphobia in the world whatsoever, for those of us on hrt second puberty is awkward and uncomfortable and either way having to learn and unlearn xyz stuff is difficult and at times exhausting. But I feel like talking about it just in terms of comfort undersells it, because there's different kinds of discomfort. For me, transitioning took what was an elusive and pervasive abstract discomfort into something very concrete. I think in a very real way transitioning isn't about alleviating that discomfort per se, at least not immediately and not directly, but moreso about bringing it to the surface so it can be dealt with in turn. Which is all to say you put in all this work early on in the transition in order for you to be able to confront yourself as a person. I'm not that that far in transition but I am also getting to a point where the novelty of transition and knowing my self-identity is wearing off and I have to think about who I am as a person. Like "okay, I'm a girl, what kind of girl am I?" And that latter consideration wasn't truly possible, at least in any meaningfully authentic way, until after transition. Transitioning gives you a shot at comfort where none really existed before, at least it did for me. Which is important to think about because there's so much pressure on us to "prove" that transition is worth it and perform joy for the "cis allies" when the reality is a lot of this process sucks and is hard as fuck. It's beautiful too, of course, but like anything in life it's complex. The reality, to me, is that we do all this work to get to the same baseline as cis people and then have to go through the difficulties that they face in modern society, which are themselves manifold.
Sasha Karbachinskiy
2021-10-19 14:58:08 +0000 UTCThank you, so glad youβre liking them!
Lily Alexandre
2021-03-26 12:23:43 +0000 UTCYour videos are so great! I haven't been out as a woman for very long, and it's both fulfilling and challenging. I find your videos so inspiring, thank you π₯°
Mel Cat
2021-03-26 01:18:53 +0000 UTCThanks so much!
Lily Alexandre
2021-03-18 23:15:18 +0000 UTCgreat video! i strongly agree with the message of self-determined value. its so easy to value ourselves and others according to exterior standards. accepting our own messy reality and living with it in a way that's fulfilling is a daily challenge that over years really takes heavy tolls. again, great job, keep it up!
Alejandro Hernandez
2021-03-16 23:01:52 +0000 UTChell yeah!
Lily Alexandre
2021-03-14 11:49:19 +0000 UTCOh sorry for the long messy thoughts but: I think T4T transbian relationships are a great example of defining trans womanhood as its own thing. Like it basically tears down all the preconceived notions of trans sexuality and it's always so beautiful to see!
Ariel Goodbody
2021-03-14 11:40:09 +0000 UTCI love this! Being butch and trans I've spent a lot of time recently doubting whether I'm actually a 'woman'. But what I'm coming to realise is there is no one factor that makes me a woman. For a while I was trying to perversely justify my womanhood through the idea of being oppressed - if I'm oppressed as a woman, that makes me one. But this is a really unsatisfying lens to see things through. One of my friends summed it up really nicely the other day: trans identities have existed longer than cisgender people and heterosexuality have. The sturm and drang about justifying trans identity in the 21st century is only because patriarchy/capitalism/colonialism erased it in the first place.
Ariel Goodbody
2021-03-14 11:36:51 +0000 UTC
