Steve Notes WWE Raw Shayna Runs From Doll Edition

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Steve Notes Raw 6/7/21

Tag Teams in the battle royale are in the ring.

AJ Styles and Omos comes out to drop a promo first, a state of the union for Raw’s tag division

He talks about all the teams in the ring- starts with ND, then T-Bar and Mace, then Lince Dorado is out there by himself, cuz Metalik is injured, then the Viking Raiders, says they could make a lot of money around the world, then targets RKBRO, then they talk up themselves, this is taking really long. New Day call him BOOTY. Kofi brings up them not being a registered tag team, SHOW ME YOUR PAPERS. AJ says I’m trying to be nice, Orton says if you wanna be nice, shut the hell up. Riddle talks about the zipping his mouth thing and talks and talks til Orton does the zip mouth thing which of course they’re running into the ground.

MIz and Morrison interrupt AJ, Miz says the tag division has become dry- the drip stick is there to moisten things up- John has decided to participate in the battle royal, his music hits, Miz starts rolling down the ramp in his wheelchair in slow motion, it’s actually pretty damn funny.

Randy and Riddle hit immediate RKOs on the new day to start us off.

Tag Team Battle ROyal

Morrison almost gets elim by Dorado, uses his feet on the bottom rope, then the drip stick on DOrado, he throws Lince out. T-Bar and Mace toss Morrison out.

Viking Raiders elim Mace and T-Bar

Woods elim Riddle

Erik elim Woods

Orton sells like crazy for Raiders, Kofi stomps Ivar onto Erik

Riddle gets in and eats a Trouble In Paradise for Randy, but the Raiders throws Orton out for the win

**¾

Backstage, Charlotte tells Pearce and Sonya she wants her loss to Nikki purged from her record, they say there’s nothing they can do. Char says they’re jealous. She wants a rematch. Rhea comes in and awkwardly says she wants a rematch against NIkki. They say how about you TEAM UP AND SEE IF YOU CAN CO-EXIST FUCKING WHAT

Dibiase will make an announcement tomorrow on NXT better be the million dollar belt

Raiders backstage slap themselves a bunch, they want food, start to make their move, AJ and Omos bring them a turkey leg, Omos is eating it, AJ says to us you’re wannabe vikings, talks shit about them. Erik says the way I live honors the vikings before me. If you have a problem with that, you have a problem with me.

Alexa playground fairy tale recap

Elias calls out Jaxson Ryker. If he would have done what he said, they’d be tag champs. He said he looked in Ryker’s eyes and saw a man who saw war, who would go to battle, but he wouldn’t go to battle with him. WWE stands for walk with elias.

Ryker attacks from behind. He has a haircut. Live crowds are gonna shit on him and WWE is gonna be like whut?

Elias vs. Ryker

Ryker basically kills Elias, who runs away and gets counted out

*

Kofi vs. Drew package

Drew vs. Lashley Contract Signing

Lashley’s music hits, he doesn’t come out?

Drew gets on the mic, says, we’re not gonna wait for Lashley, he’s just gonna walk out here with his HOOOEEE TRAIIIN (except he calls it the Lashley Train, which might be worse), and then he’s gonna talk about me getting opportunity after opportunity. Oh dear, he has a story about Robert the Bruce spending three months in a cave, he saw a spider unable to spin a web, and it tried to spin that web over and over til it worked. THe Bruce said he would try it again, and outnumbered 14-1 he won Scotland’s freedom. Drew is about to sign the contract, MVP interrupts on the tron, says Lashley was busy with his hunnies being fashionably late.

MVP says Drew congrats on manipulating your way into a match at HIAC. Pearce, last week we did what you want, what do we get in return? Bobby wants this to be Drew’s last shot at his title. MVP drones on, Drew says I accept, you can stop talking. Drew will never fight Lashley for the title again if I lose. But I’m gonna need something from you. I want a match where no outside interference can cause the finish, where no one can lose on my behalf, I want it inside HIAC. Lashley accepts.

Drew signs. Lashley says that story about the spider- what you fail to tell the people how it ends- if at first you don’t succeed, in the end, you don’t win against Lashley. In reality, you tuck your tail and run away. Lashley signs. Drew offers some advice: I was told after the last HIAC you’d never be the same. I flew 15 feet off the table, I still feel it, I want you to know, I’m willing to go there again. I will tear the flesh from your skin. Start praying. They will be answered with a claymore between your eyes. Enjoy your the next few weeks, I’ll see you in hell. Lashley says I’ll beat you there too, stands up, dances with the hunnies, Drew gets out a sword and cuts the table in two.

NIkki Cross interview: You beat Rhea and Charlotte: This is something that’s been inside of me, it’s my tenacity that makes me a winner. The only thing I’m gonna regret is not taking chances, so my only choice is to try. I’ve decided on a partner tonight. It’s Asuka.

Sheamus comes out to watch, his face is a mess.

Before the match, Sheamus rants about them getting US Title shots, he gets punked out by Carillo near the apron, he ends up doing commentary

Ricochet vs. Carillo

JESUS they do a spanish fly to the outside from the apron gets them double counted out

**3/4

MVP rolls up on Kofi- says I was impressed by your match last week, but not surprised- I may now represent Lashley, but before that, I was a Kofi fan. I watched you win at Wrestlemania, I was so proud of you, I cried tears of joy. You’re like a little brother to me. Seeing you with your sons in that ring, that’s what brought me back. Cuz there was a WWE Champion I could relate to. I know you don’t wanna talk about negative things. Do you know WHY it ended? Last week I thought I caught a glimpse of that WWE champion, then at the end you SHOOK HIS HAND, it made you look comfortable losing. Kofimania ended because you let it. I know you enjoy shucking and jiving with your friends-- Kofi goes OFF, says why does Bobby Lashley do what he does? MVP says Bobby does this for the honor, prestige and accoutrements that come with the title.

Eva Marie video, she’ll be there next week

Backstage, Ali approaches Mansoor, tells him he’s NOT ready when Mansoor says he IS ready. Ali says what you are ready for is a fair and square match with Drew. What are you gonna do when you realize you’re in the ring with a guy who’ll cut every corner, you can’t assume everyone is gonna play by the same rules you are. That’s not how this world works. I like this stuff, it’s starting to build a fucking STORY.

Jeff Hardy: Cedric is entitled, I’m gonna give him a lesson in humility. He’ll EXTREMELY learn that respect is earned.

Cedric Alexander video promo: This place shouldn’t be about has-beens.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cedric Alexander

Hardy wins with a Swanton

Backstage, Charlotte and Rhea have an incredibly awkward stilted conversation about who’s gonna follow who’s lead.

Rhea/Charlotte vs. Nikki/Asuka

Rhea and Char can’t get along, Char decks Rhea at one point and Rhea kinda just sits there, Rhea pats her head at one point, they fight, Charlotte counters a riptide attempt with a Natural Selection and Nikki pins for three

**2/3

Alexa’s playground tease, Alexa says Shayna is wrong about Lilly, see what happens tonight

Gulak vs. Mansoor

Drew tries to use the handful of tights for the rollup, Mansoor countered with the rollup for the win

**½

Orton/Riddle backstage, they do the key thing again, now Riddle has a match with Kofi cuz he wanted to invite Kofi to Burger King, asks Orton if he’s coming to the ring tonight, orton says I’m not sure, he throws the mouth key in the garbage.

Kofi vs. Riddle

Mid-match, Orton comes out, gets a sliding dropkick from Kofi, who then throws Riddle out, Woods mocks him with the trombone, Orton puts him through the table

Eek, Kofi goes for a head scissors, Riddle falls over instead

Riddle hits Kofi with the draping DDT, Orton peps him up at ringside, Riddle goes too far, goes for RKO, countered, evades TIP, but Kofi hits it on the second attempt for three

***½

Backstage, Nia says things have been tense- Shayna says cuz Alexa gets in our business, and you let Reginald get in our business. Nia says he’s at home recovering. THey bicker, NIa says I’ve come to offer my help, this is the most dangerous I’ve seen her. Shayna says it’s a stupid doll. She might need your help, cuz I’m gonna show her what happens when you cross the queen of spades.

Alexa’s Playground

Shayna pushes over the rocking horse

Alexa says we’d like to give you a chance to be our new friend. All you have to do is apologize to Lilly. Shayna scoffs, you want me to apologize to a doll? Alexa says yes. Shayna says you are even more delusional than you look. You are the reason behind Reggie’s accidents. You are the reason Nia and I are no longer tag champions. Alexa laughs it off. THe crowd is gonna shit all over this. Shayna grabs Lilly, says I’m sorry that you’re just a stupid doll. Alexa attacks Shayna, Shayna throws her out, Shayna puts her boot on Lilly. STOMPS Lilly. The lights go wonky, Shayna leaves, on the ramp, fire pyro goes off. She goes backstage, shit starts falling around her. She tries to escape. No doors will open. She doesn’t speak to the SEVERAL cameramen in the room she barricades herself in. She looks in a mirror and Lilly is in the background of the reflection, then she’s gone, looks back in the reflection, she’s there. SHE’S IN THE WALL