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TheBesties
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Besties Battle Bracket: Weirdo Nintendo Failure

What's Nintendo's secret to success? Its leadership isn't afraid to greenlight a big, risky, weird project. For every Nintendo Wii and Nintendo DS, we get a Virtual Boy and Nintendo Cereal System. Turn out you can't make a revolutionary video game brand without breaking a few eggs.

In this month's Besties Battle Bracket, we select the best weirdo Nintendo Failure. Share your personal favorites in the comments!

Rubric:

The contenders:

Besties Battle Bracket: Weirdo Nintendo Failure Besties Battle Bracket: Weirdo Nintendo Failure

Comments

Damn I'm glad I'm not crazy lol

Michael Taves

When the new Mario movie came out, I watched both of them back-to-back. The '93 movie kicked total ass

Avery

I replaced my 3ds nubbin with a PSP nubbin and it's way way way way better

Al Paca

do you guys have a bluesky for updates? i'm not twitter anymore

Katie Jewel

I wish i could find my bag of game boy advanced stuff because i had the Magnifying lens with the lights. That thing wasn't back lit! I needed lights to do my late night Pokemon silver playing

BassToad

Oh my god, I *lived* for that cereal when it came out. I remember begging my mom for it and promptly eating the entire box within a day. I was then the inventor of the Nintendo Cereal Vomit System.

Brick Corvidae

I'm so glad someone else has experienced this.

Leo

I just want to say that without ever owning one or looking it up, I guessed the exact price of the Power Glove, and I feel I can't top that moment now.

Little Mel

@Daniel From what I know there was no stored information on the e-reader itself. What you are talking about is different. If you are using the reader to unlock stuff in games (Battle Network, Super Mario Advance 4) the data IS already on those specific game carts (not the e-reader), and you are just using the e-reader to unlock it. Again I could be wrong but that is my understanding.

KG4

There was SOME tho. Battle Network content was accessible on cartridge via Game Shark

Daniel

Plante, my guy, your audio levels are all over the place. Can’t hear you sometimes.

Kyle Alexander

I find the Wand of Gamelon art almost as disturbing as the gameboy camera error message.

Hollie

I'm probably part of a teeny tiny demographic on this one, but as a lefty who absolutely adored kid Icarus uprising, I am so glad they made the circle pad pro.

Sebbo Mode

Yeah, people always talk about how uncomfortable the Wii U pad is to hold, but I always thought it was extremely comfy

Sebbo Mode

This was a great ep. Love the bracket eps, and these random ass kinds of topics are great. Some ideas: soulsborne/elden ring boss bracket of some kind? Best game you can play on a phone when you only have a few minutes in a waiting room?

blinsterplurblebop

Idk if this is where I should put this, but yall should talk about the Digital Archive at VGHF library: https://archive.gamehistory.org. Their mission is to preserve the history of video games and I think that their goals really align with stuff that you guys have been saying for years.

Vaellus

Shout out to Machop at work

KG4

Came here to say exactly this. I vividly remember scanning my Pokemon cards to play terrible mini games for hours on end and having a blast

rylander

dude Game Boy Camera rocked my world as a kid. i made so many mini videos, animations and songs on it. the menus and music were so whimsical too—such a wacky, unique and creative tool. the printer always sucked eggs tho lol

melanee

No love for the Nintendo Knitting Machine??

Elaine Wong

Yeah it was a Mattel creation for the NES.

KG4

You guys are wrong about the e-reader. The information wasn't on the device itself, all the data came from the cards. This wasn't some on-disc DLC stuff. This is evidenced by the fact that for one NES game, you had to scan 10 different barcodes on 5 different cards.

KG4

Yeah, I bought it for monster hunter. It wasn't required for that game but it made it way better

Dustin Belyea

Hate to break it to you guys but the Power Glove wasn't a Nintendo product

Brian Easton

I loved my Gameboy Camera. I played with it so much. It probably was shitty, but also I was like 8.

Garfunkel Horseman

I do not remember whether The Besties have talked about this or not but since it wasn't mentioned in the episode and I'm not seeing it here yet, y'all need to check out Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore, which is a game that came out last year that is basically "what if we made Wand of Gamelon but it was legitimately good", and it is. It is legitimately good. I know that doesn't make sense. That's why you need to see it for yourself. https://store.steampowered.com/app/1924780/Arzette_The_Jewel_of_Faramore/

Eric Leslie

Wild how the Mario Paint theme starts playing in my head the instant the SNES Mouse is mentioned

Will Gosson

I was looking for the Gameboy Camera Error face and was unable to find it. Does anyone have a link?

Andrew Rogers

I somehow didn’t remember what the power glove looked like. After looking it up— man… I could definitely see myself buying one, even for the sheer novelty and cool-factor.

Elyse

The Wii Music performance and Game Boy Printer error screens are two of the most disturbing things I have seen from Nintendo. Also, thanks to googling these things I found you can get official error troubleshooting info for the printer on the Nintendo website still. I just wish they included all 4 error images alongside the codes here. https://www.nintendo.com/en-gb/Support/Game-Boy-Pocket-Color/Troubleshooting/Game-Boy-Printer/Error-message-appears/Error-message-appears-619693.html

Paul

If there's one thing I will forever be a contrarian on, it's that I fucking LOVE the Wii U gamepad. Like I seriously need y'all to go rummaging through your closets or storage units or underground vaults or wherever your Wii U's are stored now and just hold that thing. After seven years of holding the switch and fighting with its tiny buttons and how uncomfortably thin the joy cons are, the gamepad is a breath of fresh air (aside from how terrible the charging port is of course). I still keep the gamepad on a bookshelf just to remind myself that Nintendo actually does know how ergonomics work. I swear, if the Wii U has no fans I am dead.

Stephen Taubner

Ok, i gotta hop back in on the e-reader, cause y'all did not toast this piece of shit enough. First off, these barcodes NEVER swiped right. The method to correctly swipe an e-reader card is a mystery more profound than the true face of God. Slow, fast, left to right, right to left. Meaningless. Secondly, the content. MOST games with e-reader support was vacuous bullshit. But then you start talking Pokemon, the Mario Advance games, and fucking Megaman Battle Network. Entire WORLDS of levels in Mario 3? E Reader exclusive. You want an Eon ticket to catch a Mew in the Hoenn games? E-reader was how event items were distributed, or records mix with someone who got swiped at one of those events. And the sheet amount of literal upgrades, Battle Chips, and even alternate forms in Battle Network is astounding. If you wanted Bass Soul in BN5 as an American, the only non game shark way was to own a copy of one of the GBA versions that was fully cleared and slot it into the GBA slot while you had the DS version on in the DS Cart slot. That is until the Wii U virtual console brought all the old E reader content over for us. Even worse, because the ereader did well in Japan but not here, those cards were region locked. Got a bass soul card? Hope you have a jp BN cart. And to top all of this off, MOST e reader cards were sold in blind packs like regular trading cards. We make fun and groan about lootboxes now, but Nintendo was selling content in FUCKING BLINDBOXES THAT NEEDED A WHOLE 100+ DOLLAR CARD READER!!! Like i cant stress enough that Battle Network Patch Cards could change your stats and buster shot! And its all region exclusive and e reader locked IF YOU CAN EVEN GET THE CARDS FROM A PACK PULL!!! Like seriously, this thing is such a piece of dogshit. Cause all that content is on cart! You can hack all of it in with a gameshark but they sold it back to us! Literally on disc dlc before capcom got us all pissed at it like 6 years later

Daniel

The worst thing about the circle pad pro, is that there was ONE GAME it shouldve been a slam fucking dunk for: Kid Icarus Uprising. For those who dont remember, this game's control scheme was so wack and shitty that it came with a stand for your 3DS to slot into so you could play it comfortably. So when the new 3ds nubbin/circle pad pro came out to give this game a proper 2nd stick, I was SO HYPE. This was the reason to get a circle pad pro!!! Fuck camera controls in 3ds monster hunter, this was it. Except for one problem. The circle pad pro/new 3ds nubbin did NOT allow for dual stick controls on Kid Icarus Uprising. It allowed for LEFTY FLIP ONLY. So great news to everyone who loved everything about Kid Icarus Uprising besides its awful controls, you can play those awful controls left handed now! Not saying lefty flip is a bad OPTION, but why was it the ONLY option

Daniel

My favorite dog-walking podcast! Always glad to have you nerds back in my feed talkin bout games n stuff. Especially in these wild times. Keep it up dudes!

Randy Simon Jr

Circle Pad Pro came out quite a while before the New 3DS line and the nubbin! I remember it being sold at the time of Kid Icarus Uprising. Power Glove was officially licensed but Nintendo had nothing to do with the design nor how fun/weird it was. It was manufactured by Mattel in the United States and PAX in Japan.

Johnny Van Cura

What are the chances we could get a 1993 Super Mario Bros. watch along in the style of Rifftrax? I think that could be a fun Patreon thing

Tommy F.

The Super Mario Brothers Super Show probably can't be considered a failure anymore because streaming gave it a 2nd chance. The estates of Lou & Danny must have been surprised when royalties started flowing in again! What a great piece of strange media.

bjorktribe

Last summer you discussed Shy Guy Surfing. One of the things you mentioned was wanting it on port master for those retro handhelds. I connected with LucasPucas on discord and he said he'd look into it but based on my initial research it's not possible because the game is made with Unity engine which is hard no according to the port master website. However you can play it on steam deck so that's nice

Caleb Ackerman


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