"What, what's with that reaction? Now come on, I'm not being rude or belligerent or anything, and not making a mess all over your car...I mean...I am a mess right now, but that's different. I really need a ride...if you just leave me here, I'm leaving you a terrible review.
Where to...? I...I guess I don't know...the hospital, maybe? Or just home...to see how things look in the morning...
You're looking at the aftermath of a disastrous date, with a self-righteous, pretentious prick who considers himself some kind of magician. I suppose I would also consider him some kind of magician, since...well, look what he did to me. I think it's still progressing...my hands don't feel right, it's harder to bend my fingers. Actually, on that note, if you can help me get into my apartment I'll give you a really good review. ...Assuming my paws still work well enough to navigate my phone."