I just can't stop eating 'em!
Added 2025-07-14 04:45:03 +0000 UTC"I know, I know it's hard Jen, but we have to stop...it's the bananas, these goddamn bananas...they're what's turning us into monkeys!
We found Louise...you know, that selfish bitch who dragged that huge bunch off into the jungle...sh-she was...god...she's just a normal monkey. Surrounded by peels, stomach all distended...a hairy little monkey, with blonde tips and a floral earring. She screeched at us and scrambled off through the treetops...
Don't do it, you have to resist...you think this is easy for me, for the rest of us? It's so tempting...some part of me wants to clobber you and wolf that thing down myself right now, but I'm fighting that urge with every ounce of willpower I've got. You need to drop it, cover it with dirt, throw it in the ocean...if we can't kick these things, we're all doomed. There won't be any plane crash survivors left for them to rescue...just another tribe of dirty, stupid monkeys hooting and hollering..."
