"Sigh...another mishap, Lauren? Looks like our AV isolated the virus before it could leave your workstation, which is a huge relief. Doesn't do much to help you, though...we've been over this, you've gone through multiple training sessions for safe internet use. You can't click on random links you stumble across!
...Don't bother trying to meow out some kind of response, did you or did you not click this link on screen? You're shaking your head, but I can clearly see it's purple rather than blue. Someone clicked this, and there's only one person in the office whose computer imposed some reality alterations on them.
Here, you're sitting real awkwardly, I'll help you out of your chair onto all fours. You're gonna have to give in sooner or later. I know I'm not your boss, but...this isn't good. The company doesn't make a priority of employing administrative assistants who can't type or talk..."
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Did you know today (or yesterday now, the 11th) is International Lynx Day? It is! Happy Lynx Day!