"Whoa, babe, settle down! No reason to freak out about this, you look lovely. You're going to make a gorgeous cow, you'll see. Now wait, hang on! I know you didn't expect things to turn out this way, most people don't WANT to turn into animals, but it's not like you can run from it! I'm right behind you, we'll get through this. Don't get all mad at me for trying to look on the bright side...look, we won't have to worry about buying milk anymore! Or shoes. Plenty of things to look forward to...
Y'know, we're out here all alone...you want to fool around one last time, for old time's sake?"