"Damn...I read about others with this issue online, but I didn't expect it would happen to me...though I always knew there was a little too much space between the walls here and that could invite trouble, and here we are. This explains a lot, like why all my mousetraps have been ignored and my fridge gets emptied instead. Was wondering how the little buggers figured out how to open it, didn't count on one big bugger. You're probably also all the bumps and bangs that keep me up...
So, like...can I get you to leave? Let me guess, you'll leave on one condition...I see the vibe you're puttin' out. Sigh...alright, let's make it quick."