Chapter 13 A Feast

Lately, I had been tormented by nightmares from my past, each one growing worse and worse.

The memories of the abuse I endured at the hands of bandits their mocking laughter, the cruel stings of their whips, and the coldness of their eyes as they watched me suffer. Every night, their faces returned, twisted and monstrous, reminding me of my helplessness.

And then, the weight of my failures, a crushing burden that refuses to let me breathe. The faces of those I wanted to save—those I promised to protect—haunt me. Their eyes, filled with disappointment and betrayal, stare at me from the shadows.

"I tried," I whisper to the empty room, clenching my fists tightly, my knuckles turning white. "I did everything I could..."

But no one is there to hear me. No one to tell me it’s okay, that I did my best. The silence swallows my words, broken only by the sound of my ragged breaths.

Some nights, I hear their voices—soft and pleading. "Why didn’t you save me, Papa?" a little girl asks, her voice fragile and broken. "Why did you leave me?"

"I didn’t want to," I cry out, my voice cracking under the weight of the guilt. "I didn’t want to leave anyone behind!"

But in the end, the nightmares always win, dragging me back to that moment—back to the screams, the blood, and the faces I'll never forget.

The face of my adopted daughter, her once innocent expression now twisted and contorted, a grotesque version of itself.

"wHy DiD yOu lEaVe Me"

/

The moment I woke up, sweat poured down my face.

My hand instinctively went to my forehead as I breathed deeply, trying to steady myself.

It was just a nightmare...

I glanced to my left and caught a glimpse of my reflection from the mirror. My mind felt refreshed, but my face told a different story—tired and worn. A face I wished no one had to see.

After staring at my reflection for a moment, I took a deep breath and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, placing my feet on the cold floor below.

Just... how much longer do I have to fight?

Even after escaping extinction itself, I found myself trapped in another conflict, one I never wanted to be a part of

I try to stay calm, to keep it all bottled up, but it's too much. I can't hold it in anymore. I slam my fist against the wall, feeling the sting shoot up my arm.

"FUCK, FUCK FUCK!!!"

Tears swell in my eyes as I keep punching the wall, over and over, each hit harder than the last.

"YOU PIEACE OF SHIT GOD! WHY. DID. YOU. SENT. ME HERE!!!

Each punch is like a plea like I'm begging for some sort of answer, but I get nothing—nothing but the hollow sound of my fists pounding into the wall. Blood smears against the cracked concrete, but it doesn't matter

My strength falters. My knees buckle. And I collapse, crumbling to the floor like a ragdoll, sobs choking the air out of my lungs.

"WHY.....!! JUST WHYY...!"

I grip my head with both hands and slam it against the floor as if the pain will somehow bring an answer to my mind. Despite my head still feeling the pain from yesterday's injury, I still continue to bang my head against the floor while sobbing at the same time.

"Just... how long do I have to live like a fucking cattle?"

Am I really destined to be nothing more than a fucking chess piece in someone else's twisted game? Just a pawn for their entertainment?

I can't die and I can't even live for one more day with peace without threat looming over my head.

I'm tired of being their puppet. I'm tired of this world. I'm just… tired.

After what felt like an eternity, the rage that had been building inside me for the past two weeks slowly began to subside. I forced myself to calm down, wiped the tears from my face, and dragged myself off the floor.

I headed downstairs to the first floor, where the smell of food wafted through the air. Following the scent, I entered the next room and saw two people waiting.

The first was Aria, who quickly waved at me with her usual cheerful energy. The other was a maid standing beside her, eyes closed, her posture formal with her hands clasped neatly at her waist.

"Hey, mister! already wake up?"

"Hmm," I grunted, not in the mood for much conversation, and took a seat opposite her.

As soon as I sat down, the maid gracefully moved most of the meal toward me. Her movements were smooth, deliberate, and poised, with an expression that remained calm and composed.

Just as I was about to reach for the food, she unexpectedly leaned closer and placed a hand on my forehead, her touch gentle but firm.

"What's wrong?" I ask, surprised.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, her expression shifting to one of concern as she scanned my face. "I’m checking your injury. It seems there’s more damage than before," she murmured, her voice soft but serious. "Did something happen?"

I hesitated, trying to keep my face neutral. "...Nothing serious. I just fell out of bed, that's all," I replied, hoping to brush it off.

She doesn't seem convinced. "I see... It's surprising how challenging it is for humans to sleep properly. We might have underestimated the difficulty," she says thoughtfully. "I'll speak with Captain Rose about further upgrading your room's safety features."

My eyes widen, and I quickly shake my head. "No! There's no need for that."

She remains firm, her expression unwavering. "No, this is important. No resource should be spared for the sake of our creator's safety." Her tone is resolute, leaving little room for argument.

As she quietly exits the room, I sigh, feeling the tension ease. Across the table, Aria, who had been observing the whole scene, flicks her ponytail to the side and smirks at me.

"Now do you get how annoying it is?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, clearly amused.

I rub my forehead, trying to ease the headache forming. "Just how did you manage to deal with the androids for the past two weeks?"

Aria leaned back, folding her arms with a grin. "It's not easy, I'll tell you that. They're relentless, always trying to 'protect' or 'serve' you. Sometimes, it feels more like I'm being babysat by them instead."

I chuckled lightly. "I think I'm starting to get the picture."

She shrugged. "Well, you better get used to it. As long as they're around, they'll hover over you like hawks. Maybe next time, keep your thoughts to yourself about what you want."

After our light conversation, my gaze drifted to the meal the maid had brought. A simple bowl of soup, filled with chunks of meat and vegetables, sat in front of me. I took a spoonful, the warmth spreading through me as I savored the hearty flavors.

My eyes wandered to the rest of the dishes on the table.

Eggs, vegetables, meat, rice, and even a side dish of warm soup.

How should I describe this… extravagant? Excessive? Either way, it felt like too much food for a single meal.

For a simple meal, it feels like a feast.

Back during the legion war, this would’ve been a reward for saving an entire city. But now that I think about it… I don’t have to fight for food anymore.

There's no need to kill, plunder, or steal just to get by. The resources around me are plentiful since... humanity's near extinction.

It feels surreal to eat fresh vegetables and meat, straight from the farm and animals, not some processed substitute. And the seasoning even though it was just a simple salt and pepper, it's still a rare luxury to add flavor.

It's... warm and Comforting.

"Huh? Why are you crying?" Aria's voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"What do you mean—" I pause, feeling the wetness on my cheek. A tear. I quickly wipe it away, forcing a laugh. "Sorry, I didn't expect to get emotional over dinner."

How long has it been since I've had food like this? Six months? A year? Three years? It feels like an eternity since I last tasted a meal cooked with care.

"It's... it tastes great," I whisper, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak.

And then, it hits me. The reason I’ve fought so hard to survive. The reason I clung to life when everything seemed hopeless. It was all for moments like this—the hope of tasting my mom’s warm cooking again.

But deep down, I know that’s impossible now. I can’t go back home.

Mom, I really Miss you.