taxiderby

TUTORIAL: COOKING WITH GORO

Added 2018-04-01 20:40:49 +0000 UTC

Ah, hello, I see you're here, in my home. Right now. That's...fine, I suppose. I am less unprepared for this than usual. My name is Goro, though surely you've heard of me, yes? ...No? Hmm.

Well, the "Taksi" that usually runs this business is away for... Easter? Is that believable? Yes, Easter sounds good. Easter. Yes and in their GENEROSITY, I have been WILLINGLY given control of this "Patreon" for the time being. Supposedly this is used for "game dev tutorials" but the only game I know is the game of life, which, despite what you may have seen or heard or think you know I am VERY GOOD AT. So the tutorial you're getting instead is for a sausage and cabbage casserole.

When it comes to cooking at home, this is my favorite dish for dozens of reasons, such as:

I know how to cook it
I can afford it

I would say that this is a dish I learned from my mother, but I refuse to give that harpy any credit.

You will need:

1-1.5 lbs (I don't know grams) of sausage, precooked
A head of cabbage
One can of stewed tomatoes
8 tablespoons/ whatevever oz of butter
Plenty of shredded cheese (mozzarella is my choice)
Salt
Pepper
Garlic Powder if you like that (I like that)
Large pan or Wok
Casserole dish
A real, functional oven and stove (DO NOT USE FIRE MAGIC)
Knives

Optional:

Mandolin slicer (you will still need the knives)
Enough self-control to not eat the cheese directly out of the bag before you're done

Feeds 4 (1 if sad)

I am told this recipe is fully compatible with the "Keto diet" but I know little and less about what gets practiced in covens so let's move on.

You can start preheating the oven to 425 degrees F (220 C) now I guess but if you're like me and get distracted by knives you might be chopping for a while before it's close to being needed.

First, get that sausage out, and chop it up. Put it aside, preferably into a large bowl.

Next, time to chop the cabbage.

This is easy. Just, ah. You just...

Once that's done put that into a bowl also, swapping it out for a bigger one once you realize the one you picked is too small.

We've gotta bit more prep to do but let's get the oven preheated to a nice 425 F (220 C) if you haven't already.

If you've operated a stove even twice you MUST know that importance of keeping it clean, otherwise you'll fill your kitchen with the smoke of burning grease and setting off your smoke alarm, like a fool. But I'm no fool.

Uh oh

No no NO NO NO

dAMN IT

NO NO SHUT UP I CAN'T GET IN TROUBLE WITH MY LANDLORD AGAIN I'M ON MY SECOND WARNING THIS WEEK ALREADY

ajklkh'';;lknm

Anyway once you have the stove going at medium-low heat, you'll want to drop half a stick of butter (8 tablespoons/56.7 grams????) in there and let it start melting. No I'm serious, that much butter. Don't question me anymore.

Once it's melted dump all that cabbage you sliced up into the pan and stir it up for like 6 or so minutes. Add salt, pepper, garlic powder to taste. Probably a bit more than you think you should. Keep DOING this until time is up or the cabbage is softer and shiny. Stirring it with a scoop is probably a bit better since it makes it easier to get the butter at the bottom.

Now to add the tomatoss. Tomatoes. How do I get this open......

Alright, open those tomatones, drain them a bit, and DUMP them in with the cabbage. MIX that stuff for a little bit maybe like two MINUTES to get that tomeito mixed in there.

When THAT'S done you gotta dump it all into the casserole dish that I TOLD you to have ready. Add the sausages you chopped into there are well, spreading it out as evenly as you can. Maybe alternate between adding the cabbage and sausage if that pleases you.

Next you'll want to take the bag of cheese which you have definitely not been eating out of the entire time an cover it completely, creating a nice even top layer. I prefer mozzarella, but as long as the cheese is cut in a way that melts easy, the kind of cheese doesn't matter. None of this matters.

NEXT you'll want to take that mess you've created and stick it in the oven, which is HOPEFULLY preheated by now if you're in a hurry BECAUSE YOUR LANDLORD YANU IS HOVERING OVER YOU, and set the timer for 10 minutes.

Once those ten minutes are UP you have an excuse to cut off any arguments you might have been UNWILLINGLY DRAWN INTO BECAUSE THE SMOKE DETECTOR IS WAY TOO SENSITIVE, YANU, and switch the oven from bake to broil and leave it in there for another 5 minutes. Continue to look busy and hope any UNWELCOME VISITORS LEAVE.

Pull it OUT before it BURNS BECAUSE I DON'T NEED ANY MORE SMOKE IN HERE