FBBH 78
Added 2024-02-18 23:41:19 +0000 UTCHey guys, great to have you all here again for
Comments
A good way to convey the aftermath of the waiting game. And considering how Canon dealt with it, you can imagine how interesting I found your method of dealing with Issei's trauma. Not just because of how you have people notice it but also because of them immediately finding ways to help.
JeanMartin Freites
2024-03-01 19:18:39 +0000 UTCIssei is gonna get fixed, but at what cost?
Luis Luis
2024-03-01 10:53:21 +0000 UTCGood wrap up to the rating game. Things went as about expected but Ravel is surprisingly more open to working under Rias than I thought she’d be. Regardless, she adds an interesting dynamic to the ORC and Rias now has a full peerage! Next Issei’s trauma is being addressed and by Kirei is an odd but understandable method to handle it. For the future I’m still hooked on the idea of Rias using a path to UBW as the core for her Noble Gear! That would be awesome!
Archer
2024-02-23 09:09:07 +0000 UTCYay!
Grant Walker
2024-02-22 23:34:06 +0000 UTCMan, that was really good. Even the personal moments between couples. I must say, I like this setup. I wanted to ask you why you don't make a classic bow. Yes, you know, you take a few characters, add a villain, secondary characters and development only within it. As for arcs of greater duration and importance. When you invited to guess the surprise character. I thought it would be Saira, to be honest the guy practically says (I want to go to Fuyuki) and how conveniently the evil guy always walks in, it wouldn't be strange for that to happen. But then I said “that's so obvious, he mentions that he's going to be someone new” so I thought “hey, will it be Tobi's moment?” But it's too early for essentially the guy who has the final NG prototype to show up. Then you mentioned a rematch and I thought of Vali. It was an interesting moment, to be fair you haven't given screen time to such important characters and with the event (mess) that recently happened with Calibur. I thought Vali and Arthur would look for Shirou to talk to him. It wouldn't be strange. Once again, Guion's convenience allowed them to walk in. And seeing that Aika and the transvestite magical girl are already on the scene, it is obvious that your knowledge of DxDcannon is deeper. So the dark secret of Vali and also of Albion would be revealed. But then I said it can't be that convenient if the main character is Ise. Then I reminded Angelo that we have practically not seen him. Shirou has his number. And the guy is one who would definitely enter Fuyuki announcing his arrival. But I guess we still have a long way to go. Now I imagine that the changes were in grammar and structure. That was good, the paragraphs are long and dense but not full of irrelevant details. You only expand on moments of interest to whoever wants to read it. As are the cases of clothing description or the explanation of Evil peace and Brave Saints (damn how I love that name, a shame that the author of that fic didn't continue it, its premise was interesting) I feel that this explanation will have more relevance with Sairg's RT. If there is a negative aspect, it is perhaps the change between present - past - present. It is not organic and if you take into account that some of us read it with a translator. The thread of the conversation is lost. It's just small, if you had highlighted the past with the kind of grammar you used to describe the history of Durandal the change would be more distinctive. It's just a little advice. Now, I feel like you're treating Rin's problem too badly. It's obvious that if Rias wants something he'll get it from his brother and Ace is the kind of person who would help for the sake of the investigation. But with so much information being provided by those two and other resources. It makes it seem like Rin is a little girl who is given candy to stop her from crying. Lucifer is certainly aware of what the ORC's planned actions entail. It may also be that there is a third marshal sponsored all that traffic and it is valid but has not yet appeared. (Did you know that other characters can appear and present their ideas without the cast finding out and thus give the reader information for the future?) It leaves a lot to be desired about the Rin who took a life from Berserker, she defeated Medea and is now being set up as Hippolyta's Master. In other news, it's good that you added moments when couples can perform. Add dynamism. I remember that in chapter one you mentioned Lemons hahahaah Thanks for another chapter App. Have a good week and if you are Catholic a peaceful Lent.
Lacró
2024-02-19 01:52:51 +0000 UTC
