END OF THE WORLD (demo)

Happy Valentine’s Day !!! 

Here's a little love song I wrote for my partner, Elliott <3 <3 <3 <3

He's always asking me to write him a song. I almost never, ever do because he's a musician and we work together. It's nearly impossible to write him a pure love song without either of us getting "technical" and ruining the whole simplicity of it. 

And in true Half Wolf fashion I wrote him this song about everything we've been through...not just the mushy chocolate teddy bear stuff. I played it for him and his first words were 

"I thought you were breaking up with me via song" 

I once read a long time ago "Letters to a Young Poet" by Rainer Maria Rilke. What struck me the most from it was to never write about love. It's far too easy and it's constantly being done. Unless you can say it better than Socrates or Rumi, might as well challenge yourself to say something different.

I always resonated with that and subconsciously applied it to not only my writing but everything I create. I never wanted to be the long haired, pretty girl writing folk love songs. I don't write to be called pretty, I write to call attention to the complicated mess of fucked emotions I have inside of me. And since society wants to constantly white wash complexity out of our lives for comforts sake, I wanted to make people uncomfortable because I was uncomfortable.  

So, Elliott knew what he was getting into but still was taken aback the first listen. Then he had me play it again, and again, and again until he heard the double meaning in everything. We've been together for 3 years but 2 1/2 of those were the pandemic. So our relationship has a lot of joy, anger, fear, sweetness, wonder, and uncertainty. 

I first called this song "idk". I think answering "Will you love me forever and always?" with "I don't know!" is the most unconditional, selfless way to love someone. That's what makes it so scary and exciting and fucked up and fun and wild. It's like Indian Jones, the bridge appears as you're walking.  

P.s. if you're "single" during this time remember to romance yourself. You know how to love you best! ANDD remember there are many, many different forms of love that are as valuable, if not MORE valuable, than romantic love. I can genuinely say the grass isn't greener on the other side. Somedays, I wish I was single. And when I was single I wished I was in a relationship. So reclaim vday for loving hard on YOURSelf, babbbyyyyy !!!! 

xoxo gossip wolf