a little story about my chakrub

At the start of 2021, I felt called to make a change in my life. My life wasn’t horrible, there were definitely some heavy challenges in my life, that's an inevitable part of life. I was okay however I wasn’t feeling amazing - there was a feeling within where something was not enough. I wanted to be better than okay. Before this, I was chasing material objects, more money, more connections, more vanity etc. Obviously that didn’t work.

Over the past year, it felt like I made one big change to transform but in hindsight, it was the chipping away, the little things such as reading and yoga as well as the little habits that have made the difference.

Anyway, I won’t go on about everything or I’ll be typing for a long time… So this glowing crystal in my photo is my chakrub. From the shape, I think you can infer how this is used on a woman’s body. (Lol if you don’t know, just look up chakrubs on instagram) In terms of intimacy over my life, I have felt many positive feelings such as connection, fun and passion. However, there were also feelings of shame, embarrassment, anxiety and confusion. All these things come from many factors over the years and which kind of add up overtime. Eventually, the more negative feelings took over. On a physical level, I could barely finish with anyone or myself - it required intense stimulation or visuals to make it happen and sometimes that didn’t even work. On an intimate level, I was feeling anxious - putting the persons' needs ahead of my own, making sure they were satisfied. It goes a little deeper than that but anywho, last year I wanted to work on that. I hired someone for tantra for guidance and I remember after my first session, she asked if “I felt *rgasmic,” and my response was “I didn’t know that was an option…” Lol “oh shit” I realised.

Last year I also noticed in a lot of healing spaces, yoga studios, massage rooms etc. that there were always crystals. They are definitely pretty at first glance but did some research about their healing properties. Not long after I came across chakrubs and bought my first which was rose quartz. Without any expectation, I decided to dedicate some time to using the chakrub. It worked and it was bloody intense. No extra physical or visual stimulation was needed, just an intention of allowing myself to feel and receive pleasure. I thought - maybe just a fluke, so next week I tried again and it worked… Then one more time just in case it was two flukes but it still worked. Anywho, that was just the start. Since then, many things have happened - almost like magic but it really isn't I think. I’ve opened my heart since to loving myself as well as others, manifested things into my life, and what’s pretty cool - I can sometimes *rgasm with people now! (yay) Also I’ve been told by gents these days - I’m glowing in general! Yay again.