C14, PT. 5

“I’m giving you free rein to do whatever’s going through your mind. I’m in the mood for a little pain.” She sank her teeth into his bicep to provoke him, but he didn’t move a muscle. “What’s your dirty fantasy, Jamie?”

No response.

“Why are you holding back?” She reached around him to run her hand along the front of his pants, over the rock-hard bulge. “You’re gagging for it.”

He pulled her hand away from his crotch and swung around to face her. “I said things would be different this time around.”

“They are different. You want me to beg you for it.”

He squeezed her hand that he still held captive before he released her. “You don’t want to be a part of what’s going on in my head.”

“Is it… Did you have a nightmare? Is that what woke you?” She dashed around him to block his way when he tried to walk away. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

The venom in his words paired with the blast of aggression almost made her take a step back.

“Okay, no talking,” she said mildly as she unzipped her jacket, dropped it to the ground, toed off her shoes, and shimmied out of her pants. “What do you want?”

His eyes were the only sign of life in his otherwise expressionless face. They glittered like the surface of the ocean on a full moon night as they slid over her, clad in sports bra, underwear, and socks.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, hands balling into fists at his sides.

“What if I want to be hurt?”

It took more courage than it should have to reach out and grasp his cock. His energy went haywire, making her skin break out in goosebumps, even as she got wet with anticipation. She was pushing him, but if she didn’t learn to stand her ground when he was like this, she would never learn where he retreated mentally and what triggered these episodes.

“Why deny yourself what you need? I’m willing. Whatever you want. I’m in the mood to be mauled and wrung dry.” She traced the outline of his throbbing cock. “I trust you.”

“You shouldn’t,” he growled.

She went on tiptoes and bit back a triumphant smile when he automatically bent down to meet her lips before remembering that he was trying to keep her at bay. She wrapped her arms around his neck before he could straighten and pressed her lips to his.

“Take me over, Jamie. Own me.”

Wild, barbaric lust clashed with anger and doubt.

“Use me,” she whispered.

She saw the moment he stopped fighting and embraced his demons.

“On your fucking knees.”

She didn’t hesitate. She dropped eagerly, tugging his pants down as he ripped his shirt over his head. He grasped her hair and yanked back viciously. When her mouth opened on a gasp, he shoved his big dick in her mouth. When he hit the back of her throat, she jerked back, but he kept her firmly impaled. Instinctively, she braced her hands on his thighs and pushed with all her might, with no results.

She could either fight, gag, puke, or relax and accept him as he was. She blotted out the panic, ignored her gag reflex, and breathed through her nose. This is what she offered—to have him use her selfishly, without mercy. With him in control, she no longer had to think or second guess. She could just be. She dropped her hands, surrendering to him completely. He let out a guttural groan and stroked her hair.

“Fuck, princess. You’re such a good girl. Let me hear you choke on my cock. If I didn’t have work, obligations, and meetings I couldn’t put off, I’d be coming down your throat several times a day instead of when you feel like sucking me off.”

He gripped her skull and began to fuck her mouth. She shut off her mind and let him satisfy his primitive need to dominate and her equally strong compulsion to submit. She craved and feared this part of him in equal measure. This was the true him, the beast everyone sensed prowling beneath the surface. He was brutal, animalistic. The businessman was a veneer. Knowing that only she could tempt the monster out of hiding and assuage his cravings made her start sucking in earnest.

“Ugh, yes. Just like that. Take all of me.”

He worked himself inside her until her face was plastered to his ridged abdomen and saliva dripped onto her chest.

“Hold, baby.”

She moaned, letting the vibrations consume his pulsing cock. He shuddered in ecstasy before he pulled out so she could catch her breath. She slumped against him, coughing, and tried not to gag. Even as she struggled to catch her breath, she stroked his cock to make sure he was seen to. His hand covered hers and helped when her rhythm faltered.

“I need this from you,” he rasped. “I need you.”

“I know,” she whispered. Because she needed him in the same twisted way. She wanted a man willing to push her beyond her limits, to use her so thoroughly that she was left hollowed out and empty. Roth was the only man who seemed to understand her depraved desires better than she did. They were made to fulfill the emptiness within each other, a match made in heaven… or hell.

“Up.”

When she obeyed, he impatiently stripped off her sports bra and underwear before he picked her up and carried her to the living room. He bent her over the wide, thick arm of the couch. She slumped on the cushions and wriggled her butt in the air, ready to be mindlessly reamed. His hand smoothed over her ass. She sighed in blissed contentment.

The slap caught her off guard. So much so that she let out an embarrassingly loud yelp and tried to hop over the couch arm to get away. A heavy hand held her in place as he gave her a few rapid strikes that left her stunned speechless.

**This is a raw draft of Bitter Confessions. Please do not share or distribute.

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