C11, PT. 3

“If things are great in your relationship, wouldn’t that make it easier for you to write the same for Rex and Juliet, or is that not how it works?”

Sarai looked a bit distraught as she struggled to understand the mind of a writer. Jasmine hesitated. Being misunderstood for most of her life, she wasn’t used to sharing her thoughts with anyone. Dad had reinforced this by drilling into her and her sisters that they couldn’t trust anyone outside of the family. But his conditioning was melting away, and she was waking up to the fact that her sisters could be her biggest enemies and her greatest downfall if she let them. Just because her family didn’t understand her, didn’t mean no one else would. Readers from all over the globe related and empathized with Juliet’s (and her) plight.

It had been extremely out of character for her to accept Kaia’s invitation to Colorado. That one decision set her on a path that led to countless mistakes, but she gained so much more. Not a day passed where she didn’t hear from Johnny, Penelope, Kira, and unfortunately, Daiyu, who she was blatantly ignoring. And she was sitting across from a woman with guileless eyes who wanted to understand and help in any way she could. Sarai hadn’t judged her for her privileged background, what she wrote, her sexcapades, or her prickly nature. Sarai accepted her as she was and for that, she knew she could try to explain her dilemma without fear of judgment.

She snagged the last quarter of Sarai’s gingerbread cookie as she lowered her guard and confided, “This thing with Roth coming back into my life and remarrying is so…”

“Unexpected?”

Understatement of the year, but, “Yes. My dad passed, and we saw each other for the first time in five years and…” Her hand wove through the air to encompass everything that had happened since. “It’s too real, too fresh, too in my face. I haven’t had a chance to process or adapt to any of it. I can’t write what’s happening to me as it’s happening. It doesn’t work like that. I need more space, more…”

“Time?”

She nodded. “Lots of it.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

She dusted the crumbs off the table and onto her empty plate. “I was thinking of finishing some old projects.”

Sarai brightened. “What projects? Are you going back to Minnie Hess?” Sarai placed both hands flat on the table. “Do you have stories just sitting on your computer that no one’s ever seen?” Sarai let out a squeal that made a man sitting at the next table jump. “I can’t stand the suspense. Can I see what you have?”

She pulled back as she was battered by Sarai’s hyper energy. “You’re scaring me.”

Sarai bounced in her seat. “I mean, I hate that the next book for Thalia Crane is being postponed, but I can deal since I have a hint of what’s to come.” Sarai gave her an exaggerated wink before she clapped her hands together. “But I also love your work as Minnie Hess, so if that’s what you’re going to work on, that’s still a win. I’ve read everything you’ve published. I can’t stand knowing there’s something you’ve written that I haven’t gotten my hands on.”

“There’s a lot of shit you haven’t read,” she muttered and put up a hand when Sarai started to rise from her seat. “They’re just fragments of stories, not books ready to be read! Calm down.”

Sarai closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You shouldn’t tease me. You know I can’t handle it. When it comes to you and Johanna Ledger, I’m not entirely sane. You’re my favorite authors.”

She paused with a cookie inches from her lips. “I’m one of your favorite authors?”

Sarai opened one eye to glare at her. “You’re surprised? You think I go psycho like this over every author I read?”

“Yes?”

Sarai opened both eyes to give her a disgusted look. “I may be obsessed with books, but we both know there are stories you read, enjoy, and promptly forget. And then there’s a select few that hit us right here.” Sarai tapped her chest, over her heart. “And they never leave us. When Roth told me you were a writer, I was interested, of course. I read anything I can get my hands on, even phone books and those annoying pamphlets on airplanes.” Sarai waved a dismissive hand. “Plenty of people think because they know the alphabet, that they can write a captivating tale. But, just because you can talk, doesn’t mean you can sing. And, I’ve come to realize, the most educated tend to be the worst writers because they lack creativity and imagination.”

Jasmine found herself nodding because she had come to a similar conclusion. Writing was still an art, which meant it was subjective and imperfect. Those who excelled in school and needed structure, rules, and parameters, struggled in creative endeavors because they didn’t know how to color outside the lines. They tended to focus on the technical aspects rather than tapping into their emotions or following their intuition.

 “I didn’t have high expectations for your work as Minnie Hess,” Sarai said bluntly. “I was pleasantly surprised when I read your fantasy novel. I could tell we read the same authors and probably had similar influences.” Sarai held up a finger. “But your work as Thalia took me to another place. I could tell that you let go and it was sublime. I heard about Thalia Crane long before I picked up your book. Countless readers compare you and Johanna, but I heard the hero cheated, so I avoided Rex and Juliet for the longest time. Readers said not to be dissuaded by that and reassured me the main characters still had a relationship, and would probably end up together.” Sarai grinned when Jasmine rolled her eyes. “Isn’t there a saying? Art imitates life? If that’s so, I need to start writing the man of my dreams so he shows up.”

“You make it sound so weird,” she protested, though she had had similar thoughts about how strange it was that the series foretold some events that had come true in real life.

“It’s not weird, it’s magical, a fairy tale come true.”

“You know we aren’t.”

“You’re the realistic version of a modern fairy tale and in some ways, that makes it even better.”

When Sarai steepled her hands and scrutinized her, she tensed. “What?”

“You don’t have to answer, but I’ve always wanted to know…”

“What?”

Sarai hesitated before she leaned forward and mouthed more than said, “In the book, Juliet leaves Rex because she catches him cheating. I always wondered if Roth…”

Jasmine swirled the last of her latte in the cup as she took a moment to get a hold of her emotions. “We spent our marriage in different countries. He did things that led me to believe he was having an affair.”

“But he didn’t,” Sarai said in a flat tone.

It wasn’t a question.

“So he says.”

“You believe him, right?” Sarai demanded.

Her hand fisted on her lap as she nodded. She watched Sarai closely, waiting for a reaction to this information. Would she be offended on Roth’s behalf about her revenge sex? But Sarai looked thoughtful rather than angry.

“You had other reasons for leaving him besides thinking he was unfaithful?” Sarai asked.

“Yes.”

Sarai nodded and finished her drink without sharing her thoughts.

“How many women have you seen him with?” The question shot out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Mortified, she dropped her face into one hand and held up the other. “No, don’t tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“I’ve never seen him with one.”

Her head shot up and she goggled at Sarai. “Never?”

Sarai shook her head.

She eyed Sarai’s innocent face and narrowed her eyes. “Would you lie for him?”

“Yes.”

“Have you lied for him?”

“Yes.”

There was no hesitation in her answers. If anything, Sarai sounded downright cheerful.

“Then why should I believe you when you say you’ve never seen him with anyone?” When Sarai eyed her strangely, she snapped, “What?”

“Roth is…” Sarai pursed her lips. “You know…”

“No, I don’t know,” she said testily.

Sarai searched the ceiling for the right word before she settled on, “He’s different.”

“You don’t say,” she drawled. “I never noticed.”

“Then you should know he doesn’t see women as women.”

She blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s so focused on work, I don’t think he registers anyone’s sex. They’re just people to him. Workers, staff, employees, colleagues. Women think he’s playing hard to get. They refuse to believe he’s not interested, which makes them more bold. He rescheduled a meeting once because the men were so distracted by a woman who was on the verge of stripping to get a reaction from him. If I didn’t know he was married to you, I would think he’s either in the closet or asexual. Hence, my shock when I stumbled across Thalia Crane, recognized your voice and writing style as Minnie Hess and realized the story was based on your relationship. I knew enough about your background to know who each character represented—your sisters, father, etc. But I couldn’t see the man you describe in the books in my boss.” Sarai reached across the table and grasped her hand in a strong grip. “Until you reunited in Colorado. He’s come alive. He actually sees you. You register for him. I’ve been with him three years and never saw him show an interest in anyone. Everyone around him sees the difference you’ve made in a few short weeks. We’re ecstatic.”

“We?” she said weakly.

“The office can’t stop talking about his schedule changes. His behavior since you remarried is unprecedented.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Would you lie to keep us together?”

“Yes, but in this case, I don’t have to. He’s always been yours.”

**This is a raw draft of Bitter Confessions. Please do not share or distribute.

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