July Billing Paused

Hi everyone.

I paused July billing so if you stay on this patreon, you won't get charged for the month of July.

If you are interested in what has been happening, I have been very depressed and felt lost this past month. The question of 'and what's next/and what now' is eating at me, never stopping unless I use the medication I was perscribed by my doctor.
Now that one way or another, I will be out of university by the end of august (either finally thrown out, or leaving because of the debt they are imposing on me), I have started to search for work.

The support here is amazing, and I count myself absolutely lucky that my patreon has been this successful. However, I could never do this as a fulltime job. I learned that I require social contact, and sitting alone in my room all day makes me think dark thoughts. But this also proves a massive challenge for me - I don't know what kind of work to do. My university degree is useless for finding a job here, I have a 4 year gap in my resume that I can't explain, and I don't know what kind of job would fit me.

I have tried to reconnect with some of my old friends. Thankfully, they were open to the idea of hanging out, and I am talking to them again, but it is incredibly difficult to get any planing done, as people are busy with work or other friend groups. Making new friends is also hard for me, as I don't know how to properly connect with someone. Many kind people offered to be my friends, and I am very thankful to them, but I don't know how to connect to them, like how to have a strong friendship.

If I could time travel, I would smack the younger version of myself so bad. All that time, wasted on sitting alone, home, playing games, instead of making friends, experiencing love. If you are in your early 20s, go out and have fun. Please. Don't end up like me.