Sorry for being gone..

Sorry I've been gone for so long. I'm gunna treat this community post almost like a personal diary entry. So what have I really been doing? Why did I disappear? Well I don't have the full answer to that question right now. But something really shifted inside of me about 5-6 weeks ago. Even this idea of 'something shifting' inside of me isn't something I would allow myself to think 5-6 weeks ago. I know it sounds crazy but sometimes the universe has ways of making us deal with things that we've been repressing within ourselves. I've spent so much of my life in 'hustle-grind-work-4am-coldshower-masculine-yang-energy-sleepwhenyourdead-selfimprovment' mode for so long and I think my mind and soul have forced me to shut down embrace the 'peace-selfcare-positivity-selflove-selfacceptance-feminine-yin' side of myself that I've ignored for so long. Sounds almost cliché but I realize how much of my life I haven't taken the time to smell the flowers. There are so many aspects of myself that I've casted within the 'Shadow' of my psyche. The 'shadow' was a concept created by Carl Jung which represents all the part of our subconscious and all the parts of ourselves that we repress because we deem them as undesirable. For me personally, a big part of that was the inability to provide myself with self-care and let go and surrender to circumstances. After reading a book called 'Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender' by David R. Hawkins Phd, I've come to realize how many negative emotions and traumas I've held inside of myself and have never dared to let go of and love myself for. I've never really considered the importance of the virtue serenity. Surrender to the experience. Live life in a constant state of surrender, and you'll free yourself from the shackles of ego. I can't tell you how much I've transformed as a person in just the past few weeks. When I left, I didn't so for no reason. But I didn't want to force a return out of obligation. I realize now how much more important it is to be authentic and I've decided to reintegrate a lost aspect of my soul: the part of me that is an artist and hopeless romantic at heart. I want to express myself and put a piece of my authentic self in everything I create. Because what else is the point? The next 8 videos or so were actually made before I had this soulshifting experience so they are probably going to have similar energy to what you are used to. However I feel like we might be moving into a 2.0 version of this channel pretty soon which will probably come about in a future video where the listener runs into a guy on a park bench before heading off on an instant date with him to a restaurant.   Enough about me what about you? How has your 2023 been so far? Let me know in the comments! I'm gunna be getting back to reading and replying to all of them. I also have a little short clip for y'all to munch on before I get back to the regular uploads. I love you all so much and thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me:)💜 🥲  Love, manny