38-61

Chapter 61: A Primitive Life 

After laying out all the fish we caught, the villagers came out and everyone cleaned the fish together. As they worked, people kept commenting on how big the fish were. By now, I could understand that much. They also said that the fish had been caught by the "white woman." I guessed they were referring to my wife. 

Completely exhausted, I decided to take a break and went home. In the empty house, I sprawled out and soon drifted off to sleep. Lately, whenever I lay down, I would fall into a deep sleep right away. 

I don’t know how long I slept, but it felt like a very short, deep nap. I started to wake up to the sound of people talking nearby. I slowly opened my eyes. The house was empty, but the voices continued. I looked around. The voices were coming from the entrance. It was my wife and Ho-cheol. I focused all my attention on their conversation. 

“…He’s incredibly strong. He lifted that heavy fish with one hand.” 

It was my wife’s voice. She seemed to be recounting what happened earlier. 

“Neither I nor my husband could lift it. So while my husband took other fish to the village, that man-his name was Bu-chi, I think-offered to carry it and just picked it up with one hand.” 

Why was she making such a big deal out of it? I felt a little hurt, since her story included the fact that I wasn’t strong enough. Ho-cheol just seemed to be listening. The two of them must have been talking outside so as not to disturb me while I slept. My wife stopped talking, and there was a brief silence. I lifted my head slightly, straining to hear. After a moment, my wife spoke again. 

“Working hard makes all the other thoughts disappear. My mind feels simpler, I guess.” 

“Really? Is that a good thing?” Ho-cheol asked. 

“Well, I don’t know about anything else, but as my thoughts get simpler, I feel like I’m becoming more and more primitive. If I’m hungry, I think about eating; if I’m sleepy, I want to sleep… My thinking is becoming more one-dimensional and simple.” 

There was another pause. Then my wife spoke again, her voice a bit lower. 

“And other things are becoming more primitive too. Like today, seeing a strong, powerful man made me feel drawn to him. I guess that’s instinct. As I become more primitive, instinct seems to take over.” 

Is that really something to say to another man? And come to think of it, my wife and Ho-cheol had already slept together. I felt a surge of uneasy and complicated emotions that had been dormant for a while. 

“At the next event, don’t be upset if I hold that man’s hand. The village women are interested in you, Ho-cheol. Be with whoever you like.” 

What was that supposed to mean? My heart pounded as I mulled over her words. She must have been talking about mating day. The idea of her holding that villager’s hand made my face flush and my heart race. 

“I’ll just do whatever you want, Professor. Don’t worry about me-do as you wish. But even though you said you wouldn’t insist on being married while you’re here… Are you really okay with that?” 

“I know. It bothers me too, but maybe it’s because of my instinct for strong men-I keep getting drawn in. I wish my husband could understand that.” 

What man in the world could understand that? I thought they were both ridiculous. I stood up and deliberately made some noise as I went outside. The two of them were sitting side by side, watching the bonfire grow and people preparing food in the square. I acted as if I’d just woken up and said, “Wow, I must’ve fallen asleep without realizing it. Now I’m hungry.” 

My wife and Ho-cheol stood up. After chatting briefly, we went to help the others prepare food. Soo-hyuk was already there, getting things ready. 

For the next few days, my wife’s words lingered in my mind. But soon, as the hard days started up again, those thoughts faded. Just as my wife had said, I felt myself becoming more primitive. It was the same for her and for everyone else. Only every evening, Soo-hyuk, always a bit of a free spirit, would rub his sleepy eyes, teach us a bit of the language, and then fall asleep-but he was always responsible about it. 

A couple more weeks passed in a blur. One day, while I was out chopping wood, I heard from the villagers that there would be an event that day. Hearing that, my dulled and rusty heart started to beat again. The other men seemed to be quietly looking forward to the evening, but my heart was pounding for a different reason. 

I realized I couldn’t just let things go on like this. I’d been forced, more or less, to accept my wife’s relationship with Ho-cheol, but the idea of her being with a villager was a completely different matter. I couldn’t accept her relationship with Ho-cheol, but a relationship with a villager was on another level. I felt anxious and decided I had to talk to my wife. 

After work, I returned to the village and looked for her. Most people had come back to the village, some were tending the bonfire, and others were preparing the game they’d caught. I wandered around looking for my wife and finally spotted her at one end of the square, talking with a villager-Bu-chi, I think. She was talking to him with a bright face, and he was listening with his arms folded. When I approached, she finished her conversation and walked toward me, and the man walked off somewhere. I spoke to her with a stern face. 

“You… Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

She followed me with a puzzled look. I found a quiet spot and stopped. She came up to me. 

“What is it?” 

She looked at me with wide eyes. I’d brought her here with determination, but it was hard to start. 

“Did you hear? About today…?” 

She still looked confused. 

“Today?” 

She really didn’t seem to know. 

“Today… it’s that day.” 

She blinked at me, then smiled. 

“Oh, mating day? Why?” 

Her casual response made me shrink back. I stammered, 

“S-so… today…” 

She cut me off. 

“You want to do it?” 

I couldn’t say yes or even nod, but she seemed to take my reaction as a yes. Then a cold smile appeared on her face. 

“No.” 

I was shocked. 

“What?” 

She put her hand on her hip and shifted her weight. Her chest bounced as she did. 

“I said no.” 

“Why, why?” 

I was completely thrown by her unexpected response. 

“Just. I don’t want to.” 

“Why not?” 

She gave me a sharp look. 

“Don’t try to force an answer out of me. You might get hurt.” 

I was at a loss for words. She continued, 

“Don’t you remember what we talked about a while ago? Did you think I was just saying it? While we’re here, we’re not a married couple anymore. We’re colleagues. Just like the doctor and Ho-cheol. I’ve worked hard to shed my old shackles to blend in with these people. Do you think that was easy for me? It was just as hard and desperate for me. The biggest shackle I let go of was our society’s customs and norms. And the one that held me back the most was our special relationship… being married.” 

She shifted her weight to the other foot. 

“You may have noticed it too, but as I’ve thrown myself into daily life here, my mind feels lighter. Without the stress and complications of the outside world, I feel healthier in many ways. And living this primitive life, the most important thing is that I feel much freer than before. I’ve become honest with myself, able to look straight at my feelings, and I’ve become more natural.”