Doctor arc ✨

I thought I might share a funny story cause it’s been a while any on you heard of my little stories

So some of y’all might know I don’t usually get sick, my immune system is like, top tier. I haven’t gotten sick in like, 7 years 🧐 I even was around Covid multiple times and I wasn’t even vaxed

It was my birthday recently so I decided to go back to carbs (I’m normally on carnivore), but I had a gut feeling couple days ago that something was not right. Next day I wake up, my mom’s like: wtf? Why you look like a mf pumpkin?

My cheeks became swollen af and we just assumed I probably just slept weird. 2 days pass and I send her a message when she’s at work and I’m like: “any idea how to get rid of this? It’s been going for 3 days now”. She said oh well you went back to carbs and let yourself go, it’s water retention, go back on carni.

Ma’am, water retention just in face? 😭 I told her my lymph nodes were swollen and she was like “nah if you had swollen lymph nodes you’d be in a hospital”. Ma’am, my lymph nodes are out here hosting an UFC match, not storing extra water. She got back from work, took a look like me, and went “holy shit you’re right”. I took a doc appointment and went in the same day. Safe to say my new nickname is pumpkin.

I rolled up to the doc like I was going to a ted talk with my before after pictures, showed it as if I was presenting a case study, “hey, this is exhibit A: what I’m supposed to look like”. He had a nice girly assistant that I kept cracking up, it got worse with each second, I even brought a cream and started ruling out everything I did:

“So I changed my diet, carni to carbs, but it’s definitely not water retention. I used this cream for 3 days, but it’s not expired. I also have two wisdom teeth growing, but they’re not growing right now cause I know when they are growing, but they’re doing fine and I can assure you they are NOT the problem, I don’t even go out and my fam is not sick, so it’s not a virus”

They were laughing cause no one comes to the doc telling them their own diagnosis, but I wanted to make sure they get it right and don’t just look at me and say some random disease😩. The doc said “okay go lay down there imma check you out”, and the sheer panic kicks in “YOU GONNA PERFORM SURGERY?”. They put the tension thingy on my arm, and wanted to put that small lil thingy on my finger. I even hesitated giving him my finger cause I was afraid it was a needle type shit, he was like “OH COME ON NOW DONT BE A BABY”.

The tension thingy started getting tighter so I was like ouch?? Bro was like oh you really never go to the doctor huh, he looks at my husband and goes “how do you deal with her on daily basis? Is it always like this?🤣” I personally responded “if only you saw me when I went to the dentist…” then he said “it’s okay lil baby you will get a candy after this”. Checked my tension and was like boy you really are stressed, your tension high. Then put it on my other arm, and just in pure comedy he said “death is approaching, you’ll die very soon”.

He then checked my mouth and eyes, obviously the stick in my mouth also was uncomfy so I was like ow? He just sighed he had enough of me. He patted me on the head at the end when I was still laying down and asked “did you die yet baby?”.

Towards the end he said it would be nice if I did a blood test - my head immediately got up and went “HUH?! My mom said you will just take a look at me and prescribe amoxicillin 😭 what do you mean needles”. I swear the assistant was just laughing in the corner, I guess I made their day with my stress. At some point he asked if I did the vaccine for 25 years olds, I was like “in my mind I’m not even 24 yet, I just turned 24, what do YOU MEAN there is a vaccine??” Doc face palmed, laughed, and went like “oh god” gave me prescriptions, told the assistant lady to give “the big baby” promised candy.

Turns out I had gingivitis but the real reason of me looking like a pumpkin is because my immune system decided to go all crazy and overreact, which caused my lymph nodes to swell to fight infection, to the point I even feel dizzy/on the edge of fainting and my limbs feel all weak

All this story to tell you my immune system fucked me up and I need 2 days in bed. But at least I got my candy. Maybe my fam is right, maybe I’m just a baby, but now I’m also the clinics resident baby celebrity 🖐️