Rise of a Pretender Chapter 9

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[AWOOGA! I am returned! And on my birthday too...]

[I'm coming back soon with a lot more chapters hopefully. Forgive me for my little break, it's been a lot more difficult to acclimate to University than I thought. Good news, I know like 4 coding languages at a basic level. Bad news, I know like 4 coding languages at a basic level. Ahem... Enjoy the chapter, though.~ I'm working on an AoI one next, but lmk if you're looking forward to something else! SAINT DON'T ASK ME ABOUT ABBERANT I'M FUCKING WORKING ON IT]

[ Liyue Harbor - Astel POV ]

Astel hummed as he walked through the crowded streets of Liyue Harbor, smiling as he watched the bustling pedestrians, packed restaurants and street side vendors, and the little children running around and playing on the sidewalks.

Despite the noisy clamor of the lively streets, Astel’s face was serene as he stood amidst the spirited crowds. Watching as adults and children wandered through while playing, eating, and talking was quite a relaxing scene for the serene Astel.

Astel undoubtedly loved chaos and large events, but small, relaxing moments between his schemes and machinations were what allowed Astel to keep a grasp on whatever sanity he still had remaining.

Bzz… BzzzzzzzzbbbZzz~...

The soft, familiar humming and buzzing inside his head sparked as the serene expression on his face slowly faded into a knowing smirk.

It was time.

Astel calmly turned around and began walking in the direction of a familiar figure he sensed in the distance, his movements smooth and minute as he effortlessly navigated through the crowd undetected. 

There was a purpose to his lowkey behavior, of course. There were a few people Astel couldn’t approach or meet, each for their own reasons, but still off-limits for now, nonetheless.

Although, Astel didn’t care much for that if he were to be honest… The main reason he was where he was right now was actually…

“Boo!~” As Astel walked into a dimly lit alleyway adjacent to the bustling Liyue streets, a familiar hazelnut-haired lady suddenly appeared behind him with a wide smirk and tried to scare him.

POP

“Eeeeh!? Did I scare him so much that he disappeared on me again like last time!?” The woman lamented with a pout as Astel’s figure immediately faded from view with a ‘pop’ after her ‘jumpscare.’ “Hmph…”

“Boo!~” Hu Tao flinched slightly as she was jumpscared right back by her victim, her pout deepening as she turned around to glare at the smirking figure standing behind her smugly.

“You!” Hu Tao spun around imperiously and pointed a finger at Astel, poking his chest with her digit as she pouted so hard her cheeks puffed out.

“Who!?” Astel replied with a tilted head, his eyes widened at Hu Tao’s accusatory finger.

“Tao!” Hu Tao replied with a mischievous grin, her pout immediately fading after her successful pun.

“Ghostbusters!” Astel sang, making Hu Tao blink as she didn’t understand what he was talking about. “Anywho… Tao. Been a long time, huh?”

“It’s been almost a month! I nearly thought you actually ended up in Inazuma after you disappeared completely off the grid.” Hu Tao began pouting again despite seeming fine a mere moment ago, playfully punching Astel’s shoulder as he stood there and took it with a smile.

“Well… I didn’t end up in Inazuma, per se, but I have visited there quite recently.” Astel commented thoughtfully while humming softly as Hu Tao blinked once, twice, and then narrowed her eyes…

“I remember how you were in Fontaine a moment before we met… That means you can travel across any country in Teyvat within seconds!” Hu Tao announced dramatically as she reached a ‘great’ realization, gasping at her discovery and staring intently at Astel. “That means… Astel!”

“Yes ma’am!” Astel immediately stood at attention and raised his hand in a salute as Hu Tao spoke with such seriousness and authority.

“Take me to another country immediately! I want to travel!” Hu Tao commanded while moving to grab Astel’s saluting arm, holding it tightly as she waited for Astel to teleport away. “Take me… to Fontaine!”

“As you command, Lady Hu Tao!” Astel lowered his arm to allow Hu Tao to hold on better, smirking as he snaked his arm around Hu Tao’s waist to hold her before suddenly spinning them both around to make her vision blurry.

“Oya?-”

POP

Hu Tao stumbled forward slightly in Astel’s grasp as her eyes were forced to close after the temporal dislocation. The sudden change in lighting took her off-guard, as she was suddenly assaulted by the blinding light of the sun instead of Liyue's moonlight.

When she finally regained her bearings and opened her eyes again, a gasp quickly left her lips as her blossom-shaped eyes gazed upon the beautiful view Astel had brought her.

The duo stood atop the tallest building in Fontaine, gazing down at the beautiful, grand city while the setting sun illuminated its features from the background. Hu Tao’s face was completely entranced as she stared down at the unfamiliar, yet undoubtedly beautiful architecture of this new land she was suddenly thrust into.

“Astel…” Hu Tao trailed off as she failed to properly register the new location she found herself in. It’s easy to think about how Astel can supposedly apparate across entire continents in mere moments, but experiencing it yourself was another story.

“What’s got you so dazed, silly? We’re just getting started.~” Astel grinned and moved behind Hu Tao, wrapping an arm around her waist and taking both hands into his before… stepping off the roof.

“Ahh!?” Hu Tao closed her eyes and cried in shock at Astel’s sudden suicidal tendencies before her mouth closed shut as she realized that she wasn’t falling as per Mother Gravity’s will.

Opening her eyes slowly, Hu Tao’s blossom eyes twinkled as she saw that her surroundings weren’t blurring from the speed of their descent. Instead, the two of them were slowly and calmly hopping on air as they descended from the tall building, streaking through the skies like a graceful pair of birds.

“Just keep moving, step by step…” Astel instructed calmly while holding Hu Tao close, walking through the air while synchronizing his steps with Hu Tao.

“Woah…” Hu Tao gasped with shining eyes as she watched how her feet pressed against seemingly nothing despite feeling something beneath her, a trail of orange and red sparks leaving the air she stepped on as they slowly moved together.

As the two of them descended further and further down while looping around the skies of Fontaine, their trip finally came to a close as Astel’s feet pressed against the firm roof of a random Fontainian home, not as high as the tall skyscraper they were atop earlier.

“So… How was your experience with Howl’s Moving Express?~” Astel couldn’t help but ask teasingly as he carefully set Hu Tao down on her feet as well, feeling how she limply laid back in his arms after the ethereal yet somewhat disorienting trip she experienced.

“Mm… Who’s Howl?” Hu Tao asked with a hint of her usual curiosity despite her somewhat unnatural quietness.

How’l deez nuts fit in yo mouth.

Astel simply chuckled softly and booped Hu Tao on the nose, making the shorter girl huff and pout childishly at being dismissed so casually.

“Fine, I didn’t wanna know anyway…” Hu Tao grumbled and crossed her arms, finally stepping out of Astel’s embrace to inspect her surroundings curiously. “I can’t believe we’re actually in Fontaine…”

“You should start believing soon.” Astel teased while moving to stand next to her as they stared at the bustling crowds beneath them, admiring the new and unfamiliar city to Hu Tao. “How about Sumeru next, hm? Or maybe something closer to home like Mondstadt?”

“Haah… I wish, but I fear I may get addicted to such exotic sights and forget to return home.” Hu Tao sighed listlessly as she bemoaned her own ‘maturity’ and ‘foresight’, moving to Astel’s side to grab his hand with both of hers as she looked up at him with wide, ‘innocent’ eyes and a grin. “Buuut… There’ll be more opportunities in the future to explore with my good friend Astel, no?~”

“Oh?” Astel tilted his head amusedly before raising an eyebrow as Hu Tao raised a hand to his cheek to pinch it and pull him down, making him bow quite low so that he could finally be at eye level with her. 

“My dear friend wouldn’t disappear on me for almost a month again like last time, would he?~ It would be quite a shame having to use the coffin I prepared for him so soon…” Hu Tao spoke with a bright smile as one of her hands held Astel’s while the other pinched his cheek and kept him at eye level with her.

“Hmm? You’ve already got a coffin made for me?” Astel asked curiously, looking not the least bit disturbed or annoyed by her touch as he blinked. “Do you make a coffin for every new person you meet?”

“Hoho… You always have to prepare for new clients at any time. You never know when a customer will appear! Or disappear…” Hu Tao proudly exclaimed with a puffed chest as Astel wisely chose not to comment about the obvious, humming thoughtfully instead.

“Could we design my coffin together? I’d love to choose how I’ll look when I’m being buried… Can’t get put in the dirt if I’m looking like dirt, after all~. My charming looks would simply blend in!” Astel asked curiously while already thinking about how fashionable he’d make his coffin, needing to ensure his drip even in death. It was unknown if his vanity was real or just jest… but the smug smirk on his face said it all.

After not hearing Hu Tao’s reply for a few seconds, Astel blinked out of his reverie and turned to look at her, tilting his head in surprise as he saw how she was looking at him with widened eyes and an almost awed expression.

“Y-You’d do that with me!?” Hu Tao asked while practically vibrating in excitement as if the prospect of finding someone who wanted to design their coffin with her was a distant fantasy she could’ve never anticipated.

“Of course! Even in death, I can’t be caught lacking.” Astel proudly declared while puffing his chest out and smirking, pausing a moment later with furrowed brows and tilting his head. “What… Do most people dislike choosing how their coffins look before they die?”

“Mm… Most in Liyue fear anything related to death, often throwing the task of choosing the coffin to their grieving families after their death.” Hu Tao admitted with a smile, but Astel could hear the slight hint of bitterness in her tone as she spoke. “Hmph… So negligent! They don’t deserve the generous discounts I offer them!”

It’s not easy watching others make malign remarks about something you’re so passionate and involved with, and Hu Tao was no exception despite her cheery and bright exterior.

“Well, that gives us all the time in the world to design our own coffins at least, no?” Astel offered with a smile while crouching in front of Hu Tao so she couldn’t hide her face from him, watching as she blinked down at him with her beautiful, bright eyes. “Tell you what… Have you created your own coffin yet?”

“Oho?~ Offering to create mine for me, are you? Well, you’re out of luck! My coffin will be made with the finest materials and crafted only by my own hands!” Hu Tao didn’t seem flustered or moved whatsoever by Astel’s intimate position, smirking proudly and puffing her chest out as she declared how only she would make her coffin out of the finest materials she knows.

“Of course not~. How could I possibly create a coffin capable of impressing the esteemed Lady Hu Tao?” Astel replied with a matching smirk of his own as Hu Tao blinked and tilted her head slightly. “But while I can’t claim to know much about coffin-making, collecting and finding exotic and special materials is my specialty…”

“Haaaah!?? You’ll help me collect special materials for my coffin!?” Hu Tao gasped loudly and literally jumped at Astel, grabbing him by the shoulders to begin bouncing on her feet like an overexcited child as a bright smile engulfed her face.

“Mm! I’d enjoy traveling around Teyvat with you in search of the finest materials to make the coffins with.” Astel nodded with a bright smile of his own before gently grabbing Hu Tao’s hands from his shoulders to hold them in his own, confusing the hazelnut-haired girl… “And when our journey is over… Perhaps we could even make our coffins using the same materials we gathered together?”

…

Despite the mutual teasing between the two, neither had shown much reaction to the other’s provocative or playful words, only grinning and smirking the longer their little ‘play’ went on.

Astel’s words seemed to break that cycle, however. Looking at Hu Tao’s usually composed face, the undeniable shock on her face was truly an unexpected yet welcome surprise, only enhanced by the rather noticeable blush encompassing her entire face.

The same Hu Tao that easily returned any teasing directed her way was now rendered completely speechless with just a few words, with the only sign showing her consciousness being the intermittent glow of her vision on her back.

Just as Astel was about to let go of Hu Tao’s hands to ask her if she was okay, Hu Tao’s hands suddenly tightened around his larger ones as a small, mischievous smile reached her previously flustered face.

Hu Tao slowly leaned down until her lips were inches from Astel’s ear, her light yet warm breath tickling the insides of his ear as she exhaled softly.

“Yes… You can’t take back those words anymore…~” She whispered in a small, almost teasing voice, but there was an undeniable hint of something that wasn’t usually there in her normal mischievous tone. “I’ll be expecting only the finest materials for our future coffins… Astel.~”

Hu Tao giggled quietly at her own words before finally letting go of Astel’s hands and turning around, placing those same hands on her face to hide her bright smile, unaware of Astel’s slightly sharp gaze as he looked in a certain direction at the sky.

“... Ask me for the radiant marble of Celestia, and I’ll deliver, Hu Tao.~” Astel replied with a playful tone of his own despite the solemn look on his face, turning back to Hu Tao and changing his face to a smile just in time as she turned around and rolled her eyes even as a beautiful grin graced her face.

“Oh, please!~ Using marble for our coffins would be highly inefficient…” Hu Tao pointed out playfully as if that was her main takeaway from Astel’s words. She then jumped in excitement and grabbed Astel’s arm, pulling him with her towards the edge of the roof. “I know! How about we start searching together in Fontaine? No time like the present, right?~ 

“Ah… That might not be the best idea.” Astel blinked as he was brought to the edge of the roof, looking down at the bustling and full streets of Fontaine as he smiled wryly. “I fear that a person or two might recognize me while we walk, so…”

“Oh come on!~ What’s the harm of being recognized by a person or two? You should appreciate the people that know you, you know?!” Hu Tao groaned and scolded Astel while reaching up with her free hand to gently pinch his cheek, pouting softly as he only reacted by smiling down at her.

“Hmm… I think you’re right, Hu Tao. I should show more appreciation towards those that recognize and treat me well.” Instead of arguing or protesting her rather unfair words, Astel hummed softly and nodded with a smile, agreeing to her words. “Then, shall we?”

“Yes! Drop us down there, Astel!” Hu Tao agreed excitedly while jumping up and down again and holding Astel’s arm, her eyes shining with joy at finally getting to explore Fontaine after the ethereal scene she witnessed from above.

Seeing where she was pointing, Astel didn’t refuse her any longer and closed his eyes with a smile, keeping his hand firmly on her back to pull her closer as he exhaled.

POP!   

“Alrighty, let’s keep moving!~” Astel immediately ordered as he and Hu Tao appeared together in the crowd, walking casually among the bustling crowds, only at a slightly faster pace.

“Woah…!” Hu Tao yelped slightly and held onto Astel a bit tighter as the two walked fast, blinking as she saw a few people in the crowd stopping in shock at the sight of them before the rest of the crowd drowned them out as the duo moved.

She thought it could’ve been a one-time thing, but as more and more people tripped or stumbled at the sight of them, she realized that maybe Astel understated how many people would recognize him…

As her gaze eventually drifted towards a road full of street vendors and stalls, Astel finally broke away from the crowd and entered the still-crowded but less populated road. 

Unfortunately, that only made things as the two no longer had the cover of people to stop people from recognizing Astel. If not for his completely casual walk and behavior, many would have probably spoken or done something by now.

Instead, most people simply stood there, stunned and unsure if they were actually seeing who they thought they did while Astel spoke to a similarly stunned street vendor, purchasing a box of macarons before leaving a hefty bag of Mora behind while he and Hu Tao continued walking.

“Oya…? I didn’t know that you considered this many people just ‘one or two’, Astel.~” Hu Tao couldn’t help but comment with a pout as the two of them continued walking, blinking as a girl turned to look at them, screamed in joy at the sight of Astel, screamed in horror at the sight of her next to Astel, and then dropped the shopping bags that were in her hands. “Pfft…”

“Ahem… Depending on your viewpoint, this many people could be considered… Well… A few.” Astel coughed and cleared his throat as they walked, sending a wink to the devastated girl they passed as she was immediately revitalized and brought back from the brink of death. “Objectively.”

“Oya Oya?~ You seem to be coffin quite a lot, Astel.~ Are you perhaps… lying to me?~” Hu Tao asked sweetly as her small hand moved to pinch Astel’s waist even as she made a pun, her smirk merely increasing at her own joke.

“Me? Why, I have never lied before in my life…” Astel replied with a slightly wry smile as he suddenly picked Hu Tao up to jump over an entire building and towards the street opposite of it, escaping the slowly crowding street and into a different, oblivious one as the cycle continued. 

“The spirits of the deceased speak to me… They say you’re lying.~” Hu Tao spoke with a singsong voice while pouting and poking Astel’s cheek playfully, her other arm wrapped around his neck while she held onto him.

“If I’m lying right now, let the Raiden Shogun strike me where I stand!” Astel solemnly promised Hu Tao while suddenly letting go of her and stepping back, ignoring her confused blink as he stepped away just in time for-

BOOM!!

A lightning strike made of Electro struck down where Astel was, courtesy of his own elemental power as he emerged from the lightning with a sheepish yet amused smirk.

“Hmm… The spirits of the dead are unconvinced!” Hu Tao remarked with a thoughtful smile as she moved closer to Astel again, poking at his shoulder and chest to make sure there wasn’t any remaining energy that could electrocute her.

“It’s the Ace Attorney!” Someone suddenly called out after seeing a bolt of Electro striking down and revealing the infamous lawyer afterward.

Many people immediately stopped to look after hearing both the lightning strike and the man’s call out, whether out of interest in the attorney or simple curiosity.

“That’s our queue to skedaddle.~” Astel said while moving back to Hu Tao, wrapping an arm around her again, and grabbing empty air as a large, black cloak suddenly appeared around the two before they disappeared into thin air alongside it with a twirl from Astel.

Reappearing some distance away atop another building’s roof, Astel chuckled sheepishly as he looked down at the crowds he had inadvertently caused while trying to show Hu Tao around.

“Hmm… Seems our little Fontaine endeavors will need to be put on hold.” Astel mused thoughtfully as the people began searching for him all around before finally dispersing once they couldn’t catch a glimpse of him. “People are gonna be on edge now that we’ve been spotted two times all around.”

“And who’s fault is that again, hmmmm?~ I can’t think of a reason for you to strike yourself with a large bolt of Electro if your goal was to blend in.” Hu Tao pointed out with a pout while pinching one of Astel’s cheeks again as Astel looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Please do forgive me, but was it not a certain lady who wanted me to go down even after I told her I’d be recognized?” Astel retorted with a smirk while pinching Hu Tao’s cheek as well. “You can hardly blame me when this was your choice.~”

“How was I supposed to know that you’re some bigshot celebrity in Fontaine?~” Hu Tao complained while punching Astel’s shoulders weakly, an aggrieved expression on her face as she puffed her cheeks. “Even the Qixing don’t get crowds like that in Liyue!”

“That’s mainly because of how they’re central authoritative figures rather than the elusive and mysterious character most Fontaine citizens know me as.” Astel pointed out amusedly as Hu Tao raised an eyebrow, clearly judging him. “I told you in our first meeting, didn’t I? I act as an attorney in my off time before moving on… I’m not exactly a common sight like the Xi Jinping or whatever.”

“Who?” Hu Tao raised an eyebrow.

“Tao,” Astel answered with a nod.

“Hm, hm.” Hu Tao nodded back in satisfaction before sighing with a small pout and looking down at the streets. “Can’t we at least get a snack before we leave…?”

“Who said anything about that?” Astel responded with a grin as the box of macarons he bought while they were moving hastily appeared above Hu Tao, landing in her hands.

She blinked in surprise while inspecting the box and its contents for a moment before her glowing, blossom eyes brightened and a bright smile graced her lips.

“Hehe… I suppose you can be forgiven for your mistake, after all, Astel. ~” Hu Tao decided with a grin as she raised the box in the air happily. “Alright! I’ve decided; come with me to the Funeral Parlor, Astel!”

“Oh?” Astel tilted his head curiously at Hu Tao’s sudden declaration as the excitable girl began poking his cheek.

“Liyue! As close as you can to Feiyun Slope!” She commanded wordlessly, as if Astel was no more than a taxi driver for her whims rather than the freak of nature he truly was.

POP!

“As you command.” Astel didn’t object or question her order as the two reappeared atop the highest point in Feiyun Slope, directly above the Ministry of Civil Affairs.

Barely any time had passed since the two left Liyue, so the brilliant night sky was still bare before their eyes as the brilliant stars adorned the skies like the Fake Glowing Stars Astel had decorating his mind. The ones that glow in the dark and stuff.

“... We’d be in so much trouble if we’re caught right now.” Hu Tao couldn’t help but murmur with a sense of unease in her voice, yet the massive grin on her face showed her true feelings on the matter as she pulled Astel’s chin with one hand and pointed with the other towards a rather distant building. “Take us there!”

POP!

The two reappeared atop the building she pointed at as Hu Tao happily hopped away from Astel and towards the roof’s border, only stopping after Astel wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her from getting too close to the edge.

She turned to him with a teasing grin before rolling her eyes and stepping away from the railless roof that was definitely not safe for anyone to stand atop.

Yet again, with how there was no way to reach up there, it likely wasn’t supposed to accommodate people in the first place.

“... You know, The Astral Express could give you a Star Rail for this roof if you want?” Astel offered expressionlessly, his face giving nothing away as Hu Tao narrowed her eyes at him.

“... I’m missing something there.” Hu Tao murmured suspiciously, but Astel’s perfectly blank face forced her to let it go with a huff. “Ahem… Very well, allow me to introduce you!”

Hu Tao tried to launch herself forward and point down at the grounds surrounding the building but found herself back where she was a second ago after getting a teeny bit too close to the roof.

“Hmph… As I was saying- Welcome to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!” Hu Tao quickly composed herself and introduced with a dignified expression,  smiling widely as she showed off.

“It’s beautiful,” Astel replied with a small smile while gazing at Hu Tao’s smug face as she nodded proudly and turned to point at the ground.

POP!

Hu Tao didn’t need to explain what she wanted this time as the two reappeared directly where she pointed.

“May I ask what you’re planning?” Astel couldn’t hold back his curiosity any longer as Hu Tao left his side again to walk into the building, following closely behind her.

“Oh, I thought it’d be nice to enjoy these “Macarons” with some tea, so you’re coming with.~” Hu Tao replied casually without giving Astel a choice in the matter as everyone walking in or out of the building stepped to the side upon seeing her, allowing Astel and her to walk freely as they quietly stared at the duo.

“I’d be delighted to.” Astel didn’t give her trouble either, accepting with nothing more than an eye roll as the two walked inside.

Entering past what was definitely a place Astel wasn’t supposed to enter freely but easily did with Hu Tao’s presence, the two eventually entered a grand room with many beautiful and aged decorations and occupied solely with a rather large presence. 

“Ah… Director… You’ve returned much earlier than usual today, it seems.” An aged, wise voice spoke clearly despite the undeniable calm in their tone.

Sitting at the head of the table was a strikingly handsome man with fair skin calmly sipping tea. His brown hair was short with a slight fringe on the right side of his head, yet a section on the back of his head was left to grow down to his waist, where the tips glowed with a mysterious golden glow that faded into a light, amber color upon their entrance, unnoticed by the bubbly Hu Tao. 

His remarkable, calm eyes slowly looked up at the duo, glowing a brilliant yellow from the diamond-shaped pupils that belonged to more than a mere consultant at a Funeral Parlor.

“Yoo-hoo!~ I’m home, Zhongli!~” Hu Tao greeted cheerfully as the aged man sighed at how loud she was. “You won’t imagine what I found while I was away! Remember the man I told you about a month ago?”

Hu Tao puffed her chest out after placing the box of macarons down on the table and gesturing to Astel dramatically.

“This is Astel! My new best friend!” Hu Tao introduced proudly as Zhongli slowly turned his head towards Astel with calm eyes, watching Astel’s next move.

Astel calmly offered a proper bow as a courtesy to the aged man, unseen by the distracted Hu Tao looking at Zhongli as he did a proper greeting to the hidden Ruler of Liyue.

Despite the sudden exposure of his secret identity, Zhongli’s only reaction to Astel’s action was a slow blink as he sipped at his tea before nodding with a small smile.

“I see… It’s quite a rare occasion for the Director to bring a friend home. It’s quite a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Zhongli calmly greeted Astel as Hu Tao rolled her eyes and looked back at Astel, but he had already returned to his earlier position before she could see him. “I am Zhongli, Consultant to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Zhongli. I hope our arrival did not disturb your tea.” Astel replied and apologized with a sheepish smile as Zhongli returned it and shook his head.

“Not at all.”

“I was already planning to get some tea for our macarons actually, but it looks like we won’t need to go through the trouble since you’ve already brewed some for us!~” Hu Tao grinned mischievously and hopped towards Zhongli’s side to reach for the Teapot.

Unfortunately, her hands fell just short of the teapot as Zhongli smoothly blocked them with a single hand, calmly sipping his tea with the other hand before sighing and finally speaking.

“That will not do, Director. These tea leaves are not fit to be enjoyed with such a sweet dessert.” Zhongli calmly informed her while moving the tea away as Hu Tao looked at him with a blank, unimpressed gaze. “Had it been something less sweet, the unique aroma and taste of the tea would not have conflicted with the taste… but the current brew cannot properly compliment your chosen dessert.” 

“Ughhhh… Fine! Keep your tea. I’ll just go and get some for me and Astel, and you won’t get any of our Macarons!” Hu Tao complained with a huff and an eye roll before stomping away and towards the door. “I’ll be right back, Astel! I won’t take long.~” 

Hu Tao virtually ran out of the room to go turn the Funeral Parlor upside down in search of tea leaves and a teapot, leaving the smiling Astel and calm Zhongli alone in the room as she left.

“... Rex Lapis.” Astel greeted respectfully with a courteous bow while gesturing to the table before Zhongli. “Lord Barbatos sends his regards.”

A bottle of premium Dandelion Wine accompanied by a sealed letter appeared in front of Zhongli on the table. He calmly turned to look at the two items, unphased by their sudden appearance as he slowly reached for the wine… before grabbing the letter instead.

“... You are not one of Barbatos’s.” Zhongli pointed out, commenting rather than asking as he slowly unsealed the letter.

“I am not,” Astel confirmed despite the statement’s non-questioning nature. “That is why I wish to emphasize that the letter’s contents are completely unrelated to me, the messenger.”

Astel’s emphasis came right on time as Zhongli froze as soon as he opened the letter. A reaction finally appeared on his usually composed face as his eyebrows began twitching in what Astel recognized to be annoyance and exasperation.

“... I’m more than familiar with that fool’s antics, I assure you.” Zhongli eventually replied with a deep, tired sigh as he set the paper down, showing the dicks that Venti had drawn earlier with Aster. “... Yet I can’t help but assume that you have another purpose for appearing before me… other than delivering this letter, of course.” 

A sudden glow in the room accompanied Zhongli’s words as the entire chamber lit up with a powerful, golden glow that spread across every surface in the room from the floor to the roof. 

An oppressive, brutal presence began bearing down upon Astel’s body. Despite the lack of damage or even sound emitted from Zhongli’s presence, the crushing weight of his power made it feel as if the ground was shattering beneath his feet courtesy of the intense gravity the ancient God’s power held.

‘Astel’ was incapable of winning.

“... Please forgive my disrespect.” Astel calmly apologized while slowly raising his head to look at Zhongli despite the intense weight bearing down on him. “It’s an instinctive reaction I cannot control at times like this.”

Looking at Astel as he stood motionless before him and raised his head to allow the Archon to see his face, Zhongli’s eyes widened slightly at how Astel’s lips curled into a massive, vicious grin as the mere ‘courier’ fearlessly stared into the Archon’s eyes.

“... Speak freely, child,” Morax commanded while sighing and sipping at his tea once again, freeing Astel from the overwhelming pressure bearing down on him. “... That bard… sending quite the troubling fellow my way.”

“Please do not blame Barbatos for my presence, I planned to seek you out regardless. His letter only gave me an excuse.” Astel confessed with a smile while stretching his body to loosen it up after the pressure it faced. 

“Then… Shall we finally cut to the chase, ‘Astel’?” Zhongli didn’t lessen his distaste for Venti whatsoever as he pursed his lips and waited for Astel to speak.

“Sure.” Astel didn’t protest further, nodding with a smile as he summoned a parchment in his hands.

“Rex Lapis. I wish to initiate a contract with you.”

…

…

“No, those tea leaves are still unsuitable for an occasion like this, Director. Will you truly waste tea of this level on some sweets?” Zhongli instructed Hu Tao as the woman groaned and slammed her head against the room’s door before running out of the room again, leaving an amused Astel and a bemused Zhongli behind.

The parchment Astel hid reappeared on the table as it glowed with a familiar golden glow before dimming, leaving two glowing signatures. One golden, and the other a mix of white and black.

“I suppose that concludes our contract, then?” Zhongli asked rhetorically as a copy of the paper appeared in his hands, disappearing alongside another rolled-up parchment into Astel’s space.

“Yep! I, and my organization “Astral Express”, will do my best to defend Liyue and aid in its development from henceforth, Rex Lapis.” Astel nodded with a pleased smile as the other parchment that disappeared from Zhongli’s hands appeared in Astel’s hand.

Astel’s smile softened as he gently traced the paper with his fingertips, an action that Zhongli easily noticed.

“... I must say, I did not expect you to have such an intimate relationship with the young Hydro Archon.” Zhongli couldn’t help but comment while pouring another cup of tea for himself, making Astel chuckle silently as he watched the Archon prepare his fifth cup since they began their talk. “To go to such an extent…”

“It’s complicated,” Astel replied simply.

Staring at the original copy of the contract for a few seconds, Zhongli’s face seemed pensive for a moment before he turned to Astel and opened his mouth to speak-

“Could I confess something to you about the contract, Rex Lapis?” Astel spoke before Zhongli could though, surprising the old god as he paused for a moment.

“... Should you wish to confess a falsehood in the contract, now would be the most appropriate time.” Zhongli pointed out with a raised eyebrow as Astel smirked mischievously.

“I’m not going to lie to you… You’ve totally been duped in this contract.” Astel admitted shamelessly as the Archon almost recoiled at the casual statement. “I was always going to protect and aid Liyue, contract or not. I have too many friends and loved ones here not to… This contract simply gave me something I needed.”

Zhongli looked at Astel with puzzlement, stunned at the smile on his face as the Archon was left speechless.

“... Should that be the truth, then I have no regrets in creating this contract.” Zhongli eventually spoke with a small smile of his own, pushing a small cup of tea he had poured towards Astel as Astel blinked. “Such a devoted ally to Liyue is nothing less than a friend to one such as myself. The contract I wrote in my name for you is a paltry price to pay for your friendship.”

“Is that so…” Astel couldn’t help the bright smile on his face as he held the warm cup of tea, raising it to his lips as the rich aroma of the tea assaulted his senses.

“Yoo-hoo!~ I’m back!!” Hu Tao chose this moment to burst through the door once again, proudly holding up the tea set she found alongside a batch of tea leaves that presumably fulfilled all of Zhongli’s conditions. “I don’t care if you say that anything is wrong anymore, we will drink this tea- Ah!?”

As Hu Tao began complaining and declaring her frustrations towards Zhongli, she lost her focus while carrying the tray and slipped, dropping everything on the tray as she fell forward.

“Oomph-” Instead of impacting the ground, however, Hu Tao was surprised to find herself still standing upright as a familiar arm caught her before she could completely fall.

“Careful,” Astel called out amusedly while holding Hu Tao up with one arm, the other holding the tray that she had dropped.

SHATTER!

“...” Both Hu Tao and Astel looked at the shattered teapot on the ground together before turning back to each other, a rather solemn expression on both of their faces.

“O-Oya!? Will I really have to go searching for another teapot again??” Hu Tao’s solemn expression faded into despair as she bemoaned her fate, freezing as the shattered teapot began floating in the air in front of her. “Poltergeist!?”

“No, just me,” Astel responded amusedly, letting Hu Tao down and bringing the broken teapot above his hand as the shards slowly brought themselves together, merging and leaving not even a crack behind before moving back to their place atop the tray. “Call me back in a few months. Time will erode it back into pieces, but I can just keep fixing it.”

Astel didn’t react as he suddenly felt an intense stare from Zhongli, simply smiling as Hu Tao marveled at the repaired teapot.

“Yosha! We can finally get on with the tea-making!” Hu Tao celebrated with a jump before freezing suddenly as she spotted something on the table.

Her cheerful expression slowly faded as she stared at the table, turning more and more furious as she clenched her fists.

“Something wrong?” Astel asked curiously, setting the tray down and watching as Hu Tao slowly began walking towards a suddenly very uncomfortable Zhongli.

“So you’re telling me… You made me run around the entire building searching for a suitable tea set and tea leaves…” Hu Tao talked very slowly and with her head lowered as a small, dangerous smile entered her lips. “... Yet somehow it’s fine for Astel to drink the tea you said was ‘unsuitable’ for us…?”

“... I simply didn’t wish to keep our new friend waiting without any accommodations for too long, Director. It would be quite rude if we did not offer our guest anything to drink, don’t you think?” Zhongli explained himself calmly despite how he was looking away from Hu Tao, sipping at his tea as if she wasn’t glaring down (but not really because she’s short) at him from right next to his seat.

“Oya, oya…? Since when was our dear consultant so virtuous to our guests…?” Hu Tao asked with the same smile, clearly not satisfied with Zhongli’s answer as a weary sigh left his lips.

Astel chuckled.

Overall a very successful outing, he’d say…

…

…

As the familiar darkness enveloped the beautiful streets of Fontaine, the street lights slowly opened one by one to fight back the ever-increasing darkness and illuminate the avenues that dotted the city.

Leaning against the railings of a rather elevated balcony was a beautiful figure with mismatched white and blue hair, gazing silently at the view beneath her while the wind danced against her skin. 

“When will he come…” Furina murmured silently, slowly looking up towards the moon. Her face was slightly anxious, and her small, soft hands gripped the handrail until they turned white… whiter than her usual fair skin. "... Does he even know where to find me?”

She slowly turned around to walk back into her room apprehensively, biting her thumb as she considered the possibility of her sidekick being lost.

Woooosh…

Furina’s eyes widened as a particularly strong gust of wind swept past her and left her shivering slightly from the night’s breeze. Her eyes naturally darted around the surroundings in search of the person she was waiting for, only to freeze as she heard something behind her.

“Did I keep you waiting long, my lady?” Turning around, Furina found the familiar man she was waiting for calmly stepping onto the handrail she had just left, a warm smile on his face as she stared at his form… admiring the way he stood with the moon as his backdrop.

Silently, she walked towards him with determined steps, leaving Astel confused as he tilted his head and crouched down on the railing to not tower over her more than he already was.

Without explaining why or what she was doing, Furina grabbed Astel by his wrist and dragged him inside the room.

“Lady Furina?” Astel asked in confusion, unsure of why Furina was so quiet and serious today as a hint of unease showed on his face once she pulled him into her room… and towards her study.

“Astel… I’d like for you to explain this.”

As Furina finally spoke, Astel’s eyes landed upon a bulletin board with many pictures pinned on it, some with different articles and newspaper cutouts alongside them.

All showing pictures of him and Hu Tao from earlier today.

“Ah… Yes…?” Astel turned to look at Furina as she finally raised her head to look at him, a massive pout gracing her face as she stared at him accusingly.

“While I was waiting- preparing for our investigation all day today… What were you doing with that girl?”

…

…

As the comment said at the start, I'm finally back. I missed yall, so YALL BETTER SEND ME SOME "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"S IN THESE COMMENTS OR I SWEAR YALL MFS AIN'T SEEING ME FOR A FUCKING YEAR

I AM NOT PLAYING DON'T TEST ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE