#1266 Idle Talk: What the Gods Were Doing at the Time 

I am Hera. 
 

Queen of the gods. 
For I am wife to the chief god Zeus, who stands above all gods in this world. 

Though my husband Zeus hath mistresses as countless as the stars in heaven, it mattereth not, for the lawful wife art I. 

’Tis I who am the first! 
Begone, scatter, ye brazen harlots! 
Zeus hath but one wife, one alone, and that is I, Heraaaaaaa!!! 

Yet of late, mine own Zeus hath suffered grievous troubles. 

First: Zeus is sealed. 
They say ’tis on account of some ancient covenant broken, and for this, Hades and Poseidon became furious, so that even Zeus himself could not withstand their fury. 

Petty, petty gods! 
Would they not pardon one or two broken promises? 
I, who forgiveth mine husband even after he breaketh the vow “I shall not stray” hundreds of times? 

Yet, my prayers art for naught and Zeus is bound fast. 

Though he hath slipped the seal a time or two, each time he is caught and beaten back into bondage. 

And now Father Cronus is free as well, and the world is narrower still. 
That father! 
He, who long since yielded the throne, returneth only to harry me with “reason.” 

And yet, Zeus is still the king of gods! 
Lo! He hath broken the seal once more, returning gloriously unto the world! 

As ever, my husband, who casteth down all hindrance and riseth again! 
He shall regain his throne above the heavens! 

I must hasten unto his side! 
’Tis I, the true wife, who shouldst stand beside him and not that harlot-child Athena! 

So I didst think... yet now...! 

I am held fast, unable to move from the heavens. 
Before me standeth a watchman-god, eyes aflame, glaring so that I may not stir an inch. 

Even Argus, whom once I prized as watchman, never did fix such burning eyes upon me. 
And now the blade of such a gaze belongeth unto... 

Hercules. 

Once a mortal hero of great deeds, who was raised unto godhood itself. 

“Um... shouldst thou not go, then?” 
“...” 

I strive to speak gently, but he returneth naught but silence. 

How dare he! I, queen Hera, spake with soft tongue, and he giveth me no courtesy?! 

“My father Zeus...” 

Eeek! 
Speak not so sudden, thou startle me! 

“...in his folly hath fused with an Outer God, becoming a bane unto the world. The gods of heaven, sea, underworld, Titan gods, and strangers from beyond the world all united together to strike him down. Such is the war of gods.” 

I-I know that already! 
Ah, Zeus, how tragic! To merge with an Outer god merely to break thy chains! 

If only thou hadst merged with me instead...! 

“Yet thou, ever the partisan of Zeus, wouldst throw this war into chaos. Therefore did I remain, Hercules, to guard thee.” 

N-Nay, let us both hasten to Zeus together!  
Thou too dost honor thy father, dost thou not? 

“...Many of us, children of Zeus, heroes raised unto godhood, hold this thought in common...” 

Oh?  
And what thought? 

“...that he is but an adulterer.” 

What blasphemy! 
Speak not so meanly of Zeus, king of gods! 

“What else shall one call him? Any fair maid he seeth, he taketh; wed or unwed, all the same. He stealeth into houses whilst husbands be absent, and planteth his seed. What word but adulterer sufficeth?” 

’Tis but... 
An adventurer in love, perchance? 

“And thou, his queen, tormentest the children born of his liaisons, afflicting their lives with strife. Is this not naught but mischief piled upon mischief? A match set, then thyself bringing water to douse it? ‘Tis a jest most cruel.” 

Hercules seethes, quiet but fierce. 
Why, I cannot fathom why. 
True, when this very Hercules was born, I did in pique send snakes to his cradle, and later made him mad so he slew his kin, and pressed twelve trials upon him, and sundry more vexations... 

...But surely he cannot be furious for that after mere thousands of years? 

“...Hah?” 

Eek! 
He is angry, sorely angry! 

How small of heart! To hold grudges from so long ago! 

“Nay, mother, thou art the one small of heart.” 

What?! 
’Tis my own son, Velesares!  
Hast thou come to rescue me from this brute? Ah, my dear child!!! 

“Nay, I am here alongside Hercules to watch thee. As thy trueborn son, I cannot leave thee unchecked.” 

Why?!  
Why dost thou too betray me, son?! 

“Forgive me, Hercules. Wouldst thou not rather smite Father?” 
“Perchance. Yet my wrath burneth hotter ’gainst this woman, so I leapt to aid in her torment.” 
“My mother’s talent for drawing hatred is prodigious indeed.” 

What! Why none for me? 
Hath not one soul pity for me?! 

“Why thinkest thou that any wouldst take thy side...?! Thou, who in jealousy of thy husband’s lovers hast wrought spite and hindrance on every hand and even burdened their children’s lives with woe. Didst thou believe thou wouldst not be hated?” 
“That is the most grievous trait of this goddess.” 
“The Olympians...particularly half of the celestial deities, be more than half the spawn of Zeus and his mistresses. And thou, mother, hast set thy malice against them all. Realize it: thou art hated by more than half the gods of heaven.” 

I reject it! I deny it! 

There must be one, one dear child who loveth me still! 

Yes! 
There is! 
Hephaestus! 

“Of all, thou wouldst choose him?” 

Of course! 
He is mine own son, born of mine own body! 
Surely, he loveth and helpeth me, unlike those brats of harlots! 

“...How hath she such blind self-regard...” 
“What befell with Hephaestus?” 
“Mother cast him from Olympus at birth for he was ugly. He grew under Poseidon till he came of age.”  
“...Ah.” 

Why dwell on bygones?! 
Did I not later accept him, once he grew mighty? 

“Under duress, aye. Hephaestus forgiveth naught. He is god of fire, forge, and vengeance. He never forgets and leaveth a debt unpaid.” 

Bah, even thou didst suffer revenge from him, my son! 

“That is why I know it full well...! Were every man in the world to have Hephaestus’s grit, cuckoldry would vanish from existence...!!!” 
“...What befell thee?” 

Velesares bedded Hephaestus’ wife, and in return was trapped and mocked before all gods.  
He still quaketh with the trauma. 

“A gift for thee from Hephaestus, mother. Accept it.” 

Oh! My Hephaestus loveth me yet! 
What is it?  
A tool to banish these two and speed me to Zeus? 

“A golden chair inlaid with gems.” 

Nayyyyyyy!  
I refuseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

“Eh? Why such shrieking?” 
“Hercules, thou knowest not? That very chair once trapped mother, till she begged Hephaestus for release.” 

Yes!  
The moment I sat, it bound me till I apologized! What a cruel trap!  
How wretched, that brooding son of mine! 

“He is thine own son.” 

He is thy brother too, and cuckold, and foe besides! 

I will not!  
This gift meaneth but one thing: I shall never let thee go! 
Such a dire message from Hephaestus! 

“’Tis but thy just due. One wise man once said, ‘The debts of life come back to thee when thou art weakest.’” 

Nayyyyyyyyyyy!  
Why none aid me?! Nayyyyyyy! 

...Thus, I never reached Zeus’s side. 

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author said the story will be told in junior's pov in place of kidan from now on