#1173 A Tea Party is a Coliseum for the Ladies

Continuing on, it’s me again, the Bludgeoning Angel Songokufon!!!

It’s finally the day of the tea party!
Bring it on! Whoever shows up, I’ll smack you down head-on!!!

“Why’s Songokufon so bloodthirsty?”
“She’s probably been worked up by the former Mermaid Queen Mahi. She’s good at revving people up, as always.”

No matter what anyone says, Imma stand by Sis Puffer till the bitter end!
Don’t underestimate the bonds of travel buddies!
Anyone who dares diss Sis Puffer unfairly is gonna get a taste of God’s Flame—spelled U-R-I-E-L!!!

“Calm down. First, we still need to prepare for the tea party. Go help with the setup.”

Okie-dokie.
Seriously though, making me help with prep too? Sis Puffer works me to the bone, ugh, I’m almost in tears.

“Quit whining. I’m not exactly ‘yay, tea party!’ about this either. I’d much rather be hanging with Moby and Guppy than rubbing elbows with the neighborhood aunties.”

She grumbles, calling out the names of her own kids.

Those kids, by the way, are currently being watched by their grandma, Lady Mahi, herself.
“Don’t worry about the children and just blow everyone away,” she said.
Uh, blow ‘em away how…?

“Songokufon, you’ve totally got the tea all squared away, right? I’m talking about the elves’ first-flush black tea. If we serve third-rate leaves, the guests will look down on us.”

Of course, Sis!
I, Songokufon, would never do anything to tarnish your rep!
‘Cause I’m your loyal minion, Sis! Heh heh heh!

“She just shifted from gyaru-girl to two-bit henchman real fast.”
“Apparently, there’s some strange compatibility between gyarus and punks that isn’t super obvious at first glance.”

Lampeye’s here today too, helping out!
Because their husbands are lord and retainer, Sis Puffer and Lampeye are basically comrade-in-arms BFFs.
So it’s obvious she’d show up on a battlefield like this!

“I mean, if I had a choice between attending this farce or relaxing at home with my husband and children, I’d pick my family. But I can’t exactly ditch Puffer, can I? Our friendship with her drags us into all sorts of hassles.”
“Hey, shut it! This isn’t a ‘farce,’ it’s a tea party! I’m begging you, don’t leave me to fight this wretched battle all by myself!!!”

If even Sis Puffer’s clinging to her for dear life, that means this fight’s a real pain in the butt!

Yes, this is a battlefield.
Where noble ladies gather and use every ounce of etiquette, dignity, cunning, and feminine wiles to one-up each other—it’s the battlefield known as the tea party!!!

I’ve heard this over and over till my angel ears have grown calluses.
It’s worse than fighting a Geyser Dragon.

And Sis Puffer’s been tangling with this nonsense ever since she got married.

“Heh… I can barely remember the last time I got into a proper fistfight...”
“As queen, forgetting how to brawl is probably a good thing.”

With a distant gaze, Sis Puffer stares off somewhere.

“Watch my behavior today and burn into your memory how much I’ve grown as queen, Songokufon.”

Yes’m, Sis!

“And you, too. During today’s tea party, I want you to put on some kind of show that proves you’ve also grown, okay? Don’t let me down.”

Of course, Sis!
I’ve got an epic plan up my sleeve, just you wait!

I’ll show ‘em all I’m your number one minion, Sis Puffer!!!

“No, we are!!”
“Yes, we’re her most loyal attendants!!!”

Wahh!
What’s going on?!

Who are these girls?!
A whole group of young mermaids, all maybe late teens, just surrounded me?!
What’s this, bullying?

“We’re the maidens in service to Queen Puffer!”
“They call us the Puffer Children!”
“We attend to Her Majesty, soaking up her wisdom so that someday we can marry into high-ranking nobles or land elite ladies-in-waiting careers!”

‘Puffer Children?’
That name’s kinda...like, are you serious?

Sis Puffer!
Care to explain?

“…What’s there to explain? They’re my maids. A queen is expected to have at least a dozen personal attendants.”

A maid is someone who serves an important person with dressing, meals, n’ all that daily stuff, right?!
Figures Sis Puffer would have her own retinue, being the Mermaid Queen and all!

"It's really nothing impressive. These girls are less my maids than they are live‑in apprentices."

Live-in apprentices…?

"In other words, the court wants me to polish them until they can stand on their own. They did graduate at the top of Mermaid Witch Academia, but classroom learning alone won’t cut it in the real world. I’m supposed to bridge that gap."

Haah.
So, these tiny fry are startin’ their whole training arc under Big Sis, huh?

But isn’t that way heavier on you?
Aren’t maids s’posed to take work off their master’s plate, not pile more on?

Lampeye chips in with a footnote.

"There was a new wave of witches—Discus, Veiltail, and the like. It was almost entirely Puffer’s work that made them full‑fledged. She has quite a reputation for raising talent."
"Urk…!"
"Which is why the kingdom asked her to put that gift to wider use. A dozen or so promising shoots were placed in her care."
"How am I supposed to cope? I’m barely managing my own children, and now I have to look after someone else’s oversized ones, too?!"

Big Sis is on the verge of blowin’ her lid.
I wonder why, but I can practically see the face of whoever dumped this order on her.

"For goodness’ sake, training up Discus and the others was never my solo achievement! Platy was on the farm, you and Garra Rufa were coaching, and Zoth Syra taught the most, thanks to her natural knack for looking after people; she wasn’t even living on site at the time!"
"Which is exactly why Zoth Syra is now the Mermaid Prime Minister, guiding bureaucrat candidates by the dozen.”

Again, for some reason, I can vividly picture that same smug mug bossing Zoth Syra around.

"Compared with my situation, yours is still enviable. At least they send you trainees with real promise."

Uh‑oh...Lampeye’s tone hints at somethin’ nasty...!

"Yes. The fools, the lazy, anyone unfit for polite society all end up with me. I break them down Spartan‑style until they straighten up. Before I knew it, my workshop was being called ‘Lampeye Prep School.’"
"The one famous for students having no human rights till they graduate?"

…They’re squeezin’ every drop of value outta witches for talent development, huh?

Future power‑player brides get raised by Big Sis Puffer…
Bureaucrats get minted by Zoth Syra…
And total lost causes get recycled at Lamp‑Eye’s boot camp…?!

The Mermaid Kingdom’s talent pipeline is rock‑solid!
Whoever designed this system...
I can see the culprit’s face clear as day!!!

"And don’t forget, you accompanied His Majesty Arowana on his warrior pilgrimage and learned plenty from Puffer yourself. By that logic, you’re another of Puffer’s protégées."

Huh, me too?!
Wow, I’m already part of this wild club?

Are they gonna stick me in the middle for some goofy group pose next?!

"So, Songokufon, that makes your responsibility today quite serious. The event you handle at the tea party should serve as the ideal model for these young ladies."
"If you botch it, it will go down forever as the worst possible example.”

Gwah!
A double smackdown from Big Sis Puffer n’ Lampeye?!

Dang it, even I’m dead‑center in the sights of the kingdom’s two top talent trainers!

But no pressure!
I’ve got the sickest plan I whipped up just the other day!

So park yer fins n’ watch like you're on a luxury cruise, Sis Puffer n’ Lampeye!!!

"We mermaids don’t ride ships, you know."
"We prefer to swim on our own."

And thus, the Mermaid Kingdom’s royal tea party kicks off!
Only the most renowned noblewives in the realm received invitations!

If they all band together, even the king can’t easily butt in!

That’s why Big Sis Puffer, as Mermaid Queen, has to make this tea party a smashing success to keep the royal family’s pull strong!

N’ the one bustin’ her wings to make that happen is me, Songokufon!
Watch me and my secret strategy!