#1114 United Worlds in Assembly

Guooooh!!!

‘Tis I, Hermes!

Gods of many realms now converge upon the Olympian heavens!

Sugawara-no-Michizane.
Anubis.
Great King Yama.
And Odin.

Though Grandfather Cronus be bosom friends with Sugawara-no-Michizane and thus he be oft familiar to us, still!

We now hath Anubis, King Yama, and the God-Emperor Odin from foreign realms in attendance!

The sight is so grand as though they wouldst commence a divine war!

“’Tis a fine day for Ragnarok...!”

Cease such prattle! Provoke not the final war, prithee!
The Norse deities art a fiery lot by nature!

“So… to what end hast thou all come this day?”

Uncle Hades asks, his countenance somewhat strained.
He stands as our proud representative of Olympian gods.

“Is it not clear? The Saint who once summoned us doth now seek a new guardian deity.
We deemed ourselves fit to answer that calling and so have come in hopes of being chosen.”

“After all, we were summoned at his behest once before, which proves we hold the Saint’s favor!”

Fie upon thee and thy presumptuous speech!

The world wherein the Saint dwelleth is ruled by our own Olympian deities!
There be no room for gods from other realms!
Why do ye intrude?!

No doubt thy true aim be to partake of the Saint’s culinary offerings, just as I suspected!
Thou canst not fool me!
Do NOT look away; turn and face me!

Even as I rail against them, one among these visiting gods attempts to soothe the matter.
Who might it be? Sugawara-no-Michizane, perchance?

“Calm thyself, thou god of a narrower intellectual purview. Hermes, I believe?”

Slander me not with that faint whiff of mockery!
Alchemy is a mystic art unveiling the world’s very truths!

“Yet turning base metal into gold doth reek of charlatanry, dost it not?”

Silence!
‘Tis but a means to secure funding from patrons, mind!

Enough trifling! State thy true purpose!

“Forgive me… but ponder this: in what manner is worship truly expressed?”

Eh?

“‘Tis the heartfelt reverence of mortals that truly matter. Whether one realm or another holds dominion is a small detail. In mine own land, we often house other deities in subordinate shrines, so long as humans remain willing to revere them. That is the sole measure of faith.”

Guh… He touches a sore point for us Olympians…!
Meaneth he that we art pitiable for the lack of mortal devotion we receive?!
Alas, after our many misdeeds upon the earth, ’tis no surprise mortals spurn us.

“And thou knowest that I, Sugawara-no-Michizane, am the lone deity graced with a shrine upon the Saint’s farm. That alone be proof that he holds me in highest esteem as a god of learning.”

Urrgh…!

Indeed, that is so!

Verily, the Saint built a small shrine on his farm and enshrined none other than Sugawara-no-Michizane!

Hence, though a foreign god, he cometh hither as he pleases, so accustomed is he to this world!

Ahh, why doth the Saint not erect a temple in mine own honor?!

“Heh heh heh… well, mine own shrine simply must have plum blossoms in full bloom. Every year I bless the trees that their blossoms may delight the eye.”

But that makes it but a tourist spot!
And here I thought it to be a place of worship!

“Temples and shrines art typically thus.”
“’Tis all a question of how to heighten the site’s allure, that people might visit.”

Why do all these other gods align themselves with Michizane’s stance?!
I am left quite forlorn!

Michizane, confident in his triumph, grins in satisfaction…

“Therefore, though I be foreign in this realm, I am most beloved by the Saint. Let me thus serve as his guardian. I, Sugawara-no-Michizane, shall become his guardian deity and promise mine worshippers a life of unending wisdom.”

What manner of talk be that, implying that we Olympians lack all intellect?!
Though… mayhap that is true!

“Knowledge alone doth make men truly human! By learning and knowing, they elevate themselves to higher forms! The nation I guard shall allow all men to study freely, raising the average intellect until it be an ideal land for all!”

Lo, he hath begun speaking of nation-building.

“Recall that Michizane once served as a government official in life,” murmurs Grandfather Cronus in reflection.

Indeed, he studied far and wide in foreign lands during his mortal days, only to be slandered and exiled. His bitterness grew so fierce that he became a vengeful ghost after death, so it be no wonder his passion burns so bright.

“Setting aside the gods’ machinations, Michizane’s guardianship doth sound most convenient for mortals…”

Stop it, Grandfather Cronus!
This realm is the Olympians’ domain!

If thou spout such words, how shall we preserve our honor?!

“Hast thou Olympians truly have honor?”

…None whatsoever!
Forgive us!!!

“Heh… perchance.”

What?!
Who speaks thus? Might they defend us Olympians at last?

“Nay, I do indeed believe the Olympians have no honor to stand upon.”

So harsh!
Dost thou raise us up only to dash us down?!

“What I question is whether the Saint truly dotes upon that blossom-fancying deity most of all.”

“I am a god of knowledge, not blossoms!”

But thou certainly cling most fondly to thine plum trees…

And who might thou be, stirring such trouble?

“I am Anubis, guardian of the afterlife in the timeless land of the Nile. For I, too, was once summoned by the Saint of this realm, ‘tis meet that I hold some bond with him.”

Ah yes.

Anubis, with the head of a canine, is rare in these parts.

He could pass for one of Echidna’s brood, perhaps.

“Mayhap he might befriend our Cerberus…?!”

No, Uncle Hades.
Though both art dogs, one is a god!!!

What, then, wouldst thou proclaim by coming to our divine plane, Anubis?

“Allow me to restate. That other god boasted his was the sole sacred structure upon the Saint’s land. But is that truly so?”

Indeed!
Brother Hephaestus hath a small household altar as well!
Though… it be far smaller in scale.

“Yet there existeth a far grander edifice, the likes of which thou mayst not know… a pyramid!”

“A pyramid?!”

Aye, ‘tis unbelievable but true: the Saint’s farm doth indeed house a pyramid.

And a pyramid, so we know, is a royal tomb from a certain dynasty; why it standeth on the Saint’s farmland is most puzzling.

“Ha! Know ye not, Hermes? In the realm of JRPGs, a pyramid is more a cursed dungeon than a mere royal tomb.”
“For a god of wisdom, thou showest questionable breadth of knowledge.”

Cease thy smug jesting.
One need not be conversant in such trifling myths to be wise.

But in any case... a pyramid.

“Pyramids art the domain of we Egyptian gods, symbols of the desire to enter our afterlife, Aaru! The Saint’s building of one doth plainly show he seeks our protection after death!” insists Anubis.

Though the Saint may not share such a grand design, he likely built it for far simpler reasons.

Still, building a pyramid on a whim is suspect enough. Perhaps in the Saint’s homeland, a pyramid is more a cursed labyrinth than a tomb.

But Anubis remains adamant.

“Thus, I intend to honor the Saint’s faith in us. I pledge that upon his death, I shall guide him to our paradise, Aaru! We must prepare at once for his mummification! Knowest thou how a corpse is made into a mummy?”

I know not, nor do I wish to.

“When our faithful die, we preserve their bodies in wrappings. For the soul returns from beyond in time, and should there be no body, how might it reenter? Hence the body must be kept intact, a perfect vessel unsullied by decay. That is the essence of mummification!”

Enough, I said I do not wish to hear it.

“First, the corpse must be carefully cleansed! Decay cometh from bacteria, so thorough sterilization is key! Then we remove the guts, for the intestines are the cradle of rot! One must open the belly and...”

Cease! I have no wish to hear of these grotesqueries!!!

I shall not sleep this night, so haunted shall I be by these details!

And fret not, for the Saint shall not go to thine afterlife anyway!
He would never abide such treatment upon his body once the gent is gone!!!