#1113 Mochi for the God of Mochi

Uooryaaaaah!!! Now is the moment to brandish mine own wit as the god of wisdom!

Witness the boundless scope of inscrutable stratagems!

“Well, dear uncles. I do understand thy fondness for the mortals below, yet prithee, wilt thou not hear our side as well?”

“What?”

Though I bedeck mine words with flowery language, the truth is they care for naught but the Saint’s delicious fare. Mine flattering speech is mere pleasantry to them.

Yet now that they seem willing to lend an ear, ‘tis a small victory, one step forward.

“Verily, we of the celestial realm deem ourselves worthy to protect the Saint’s nation. Might ye at least grant us a seat at this council?”

“Harrumph! Hermes lad, we know thou art silver-tongued, yet surely thou overreach thyself,” says Uncle Hades.

And beside him, Uncle Poseidon...

“Indeed. Hades and I hold a certain bond with the Saint, and thus lay claim to guardianship. Pray tell, what link to the Saint do ye celestial deities possess? A mere passing acquaintance shall never suffice.”

It stands to reason.

The Saint himself was summoned from a foreign land, holding no direct ties to any pantheon here.

And thus we now bicker o’er who shall guard him. Alas...

“Heh heh heh… Hast thou forgotten? Recall how the Saint was first brought into this world?”

“Hrm?”

Indeed!

The Saint was summoned hither by our arts.

The humans performed a ritual to summon heroes from another world, seeking a pawn for their own designs.

And among those drawn forth by that ritual was the Saint. Can any doubt that this is a great link between him and our deities?

Had we never bestowed the hero-summoning art upon humans, the Saint never would have come to this realm!

“Art thou proud of such a thing?!”

“Aye! The summoning of a person from another world without consent is naught but kidnapping! To call that a ‘great link’ is brazen beyond measure!”

Hmm?

My flawless logic, so perfect in every respect, is… scorned?

“Look, he shows not the slightest shame.”

“Truly. This is the Celestial God way. How terrifying.”

Huh? Why look upon me as though I be some psychopath?

…Then, how about this approach?

The Saint, summoned unjustly by the celestial god Zeus and his mortal lackeys, might well be their victim.

Yet afterwards, the Saint did gain the favor of Hephaestus, the God of Crafting, receiving from him the grandest of gifts, and with that gift did the Saint survive this world.

Through that gift came great changes, even bringing an end to wars that had plagued the land for eons.

Of course, ‘twas the Saint’s own skill that wielded said gift with utmost finesse to secure such wondrous results…

Even so, the gent doth fully recognize the value of that boon and reveres Hephaestus above all other gods.

And that selfsame brother is indubitably one of our brethren!!!

So?

Doth this not serve as ample cause to claim the Saint’s devotion?!

“Hmm…?”

“Indeed, the Saint went so far as to construct an altar to Hephaestus in his own dwelling. Why build no altar for us?”

Strictly speaking, ‘tis more a household shrine.

But ‘tis still proof of the Saint’s gratitude and reverence for Brother Hephaestus.

“Aye, Hephaestus' handiwork is beyond compare. He bears that title ‘God of Crafting’ for good reason.”

“That fool Zeus never did grasp Hephaestus' worth and did treat him poorly. Yet in hindsight, we must call that our salvation. Had he harnessed Hephaestus’ craftsmanship to the fullest, we might all have been overthrown.”

So speak Uncle Hades and Uncle Poseidon.

Well, let us not dwell overlong on past wars…

“And so, we Celestial Gods, who number Hephaestus among us, are well entitled to the Saint’s veneration! Wouldst thou not agree? Is this not just?”

“Gnnghhhh…!”

Mayhap the Saint himself, of his own accord, shall name Brother Hephaestus his principal deity for the new nation.

Surely then ye would have no quarrel?!

And if ye hold no argument, then I prevail, yes?

“Yet all the glory properly belongs to Hephaestus. How doth Hermes act so haughty on another’s coattails?”

“Aye, and where is Hephaestus himself? If ye place such weight on his name, should he not attend in person?”

Alas, Brother is away today.

He spake, “The limited-edition RG special-coating final-battle-version Unicrn Gunam is released today!” and vanished.

“Huh? What is that? Some sort of incantation?”

Who can say?

He puts no mind to worldly politics, focusing rather on his craft. That is what makes Brother Hephaestus such a vital deity.

In his stead, I, Hermes, his brother, defend his divine rights and proclaim them loudly.

Hast thou any complaint?!

“This wretch! Brazenly wrestling in another’s loincloth, and strutting as though ‘twere his own might…!”

“And yet the argument itself holds no cracks. How, brethren, shall we counter? At this rate, we shall be overrun…!”

Hmhmhm.

Behold, the power of rhetorical prowess from Hermes, God of Wisdom!

What sayest thou, Apollo? Artemis?

Ye must be glad indeed to have such a clever comrade in the celestial ranks!

“Heh heh heh… Ye remain far too naive, children of Zeus...”

What now?!

Doth someone raise a new objection?

A mocking laugh escapes that deity’s lips...ah!

‘Tis Cronus, chief god of the Titans!

He is father to Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon, making him our grandfather!

He, too, is present in today’s debate!

“A varied brood thou art, indeed. Or shall I say idiosyncrasy... Zeus himself is a hopeless fool, but siring many children seems his one true skill.”

Truly, with so vast a progeny, it stands to reason some number among them should prove most gifted…

“But tell me, Hermes: Among Zeus’ children, is there any god of husbandry?”

Pardon?

“Is there, among thee all, a deity who rules over sowing and reaping, tending and harvesting? For I, Cronus, am the God of Husbandry first and foremost! My famed time-warping powers be but a trifling side note!”

Art thou boasting of thy attributes unasked?

But what hath husbandry to do with the matter of guarding the Saint’s nation…?

...Ah.

“Ah, thou see now, do ye not? Truly, thou holds the title God of Wisdom. The Saint calleth his home a farm, whence he doth cultivate crops and commune with the soil. How greatly might he gain from the favor of Cronus, God of Agriculture?”

B-By the heavens…!

Mortals do offer reverence to the god who best aids their daily labors.

Knights and generals pray to martial gods.

Newlyweds entreat gods of domestic bliss or safe childbirth…

And a farmer like the Saint would pray to the God of Husbandry. ‘Tis only natural!

“When the Saint first encountered me, he was overjoyed indeed. The yield of crops cannot be decided by mortal hands alone. In truth, ‘tis as desperate as war to them… if not more so. Where else but the gods shall they turn for fortune?”

That is all too true...!

Thus Grandpa Cronus is, in the Saint’s eyes, as worthy of worship as Brother Hephaestus.

That… is far too strong a claim for us to deny.

“Moreover, we Titans were long confined to Tartarus, near-forgotten by mortals, and so few remain who offer us worship. If the people of the Saint’s nation were to build us altars, it should be of great boon to us.”

And so the old one cometh forth with reasoning quite persuasive!

“Besides, thou Olympians already hold dominion over various nations. Would it not be fairer for ye to grant some measure of guardianship to we Titans, who stand unburdened? ‘Twould spread the roles more evenly, think ye not?”

Curses, I have no ready counter!

It seems the Saint’s realm shall fall under Grandpa Cronus’ protection if we cannot prevail…

“I bear a report!”

What is it?!

A messenger cometh even unto me, the messenger god?

We stand in the heat of debate! This must be grave indeed to interrupt at such a juncture.

Panting with urgency, the nameless god blurts out:

“M-More gods have arrived from another realm…!”

Another realm’s deities?

“They declare that they, too, hold claim upon guardianship of the Saint’s land…!”

Why?!

What madness is this?!

How can gods from another world stake a claim in our domain?

Thus the council on which god shall watch over the Saint’s nation grows ever more tumultuous!