#1070 The Evil God’s Comeback

T-T-’Tis I~♪

Zeus~! The pinnacle of the world and king of the gods~♪

None can defy me~ The world bends to mine own will~♪

(Voice) “Then why art thou sealed away?!”

(Voice) “Things aren’t going thy way at all, are they?!”

...Phew.

I am growing weary of composing mine own theme songs.

This is the 1,070th song I hath crafted since being sealed. No wonder mine own inspiration hath run dry.

I am bored indeed.

This sealed realm, with naught but myself, is rather dreadful.

Having so little to do, I feel I might lose mine own wits.

Were I not a god, I would have gone mad long ago.

‘Tis all Hades and Poseidon’s fault.

They flew into a rage just because I tried to destroy the world a little.

‘Twas but a jest, a mere jest.

Truly, they need to learn to take a joke with a bit more grace.

By the hands of such narrow-minded brother gods, I, Zeus, have been sealed away.

They hath crafted quite the formidable prison to contain the king of gods.

Nevertheless, determined to resist this unjust confinement, I attempted a prison break from this sealed realm.

For the first year or two, that is.

But alas, unable to escape, I abandoned the effort.

What is this sealed space?!

‘Tis far too impregnable!

Is it acceptable, nay, even possible, for there to exist a barrier that the heavenly king Zeus cannot breach?!

But well, around the third year, I grew lazy and ceased mine own attempts to escape, choosing instead to pass the time idly.

I composed countless songs and dances, enough to stage a one-man opera.

I imagined pummeling Hades and Poseidon innumerable times and daily indulged in fantasies of a harem filled with the world’s most beautiful women.

But even that grew tiresome, and with truly nothing left to do, I was contemplating ceasing thought altogether when...

“Father! Father!”

Hmm?

Who goes there?

There should be none other than myself in this sealed realm.

Have I, the almighty god, begun to hear phantasmal voices?

“Father! I did it! I hath succeeded in opening a loophole in the seal!!!”

‘Tis not a hallucination!!!

That voice belongs to one of mine own most excellent daughters, Athena!

Could it be thou hast come to rescue me?!

I had thought I had been abandoned by mine own children, wives, and lovers!

“Not so, dear Father! For the sake of mine own beloved parent, I would come to thy rescue no matter what!!!”

Athena...!

To think I have such a devoted child...!!!

But, if thou wert coming to help, I wish thou hadst come sooner—kidding.

Didst thou perchance do nothing until recently?

“Perish the thought...! It is just that unravelling Father’s seal took some time, and only recently did I discover a method to execute it!”

A method?

Indeed, ‘tis a seal that even the great Zeus could not breach from within.

By what means didst thou break such a formidable seal?

“Simple, Father. The one who constructed thy seal is that Hephaestus. A seal can be undone by its maker. Such is the most basic of basics.”

What?! That Hephaestus...

One of mine own sons, the most unsightly and foolish among mine own children, brings me, his father, great displeasure?

He sealed me?!

Truly an unfilial knave befitting his ugly visage!

I see, I understand!

Athena, thou didst persuade Hephaestus to undo the seal?

“Alas, ‘tis not so. Knowing that Hephaestus could free thee was obvious, Hades and Poseidon kept a vigilant watch over him. Thus, threatening—er, persuading him was not feasible.”

Did a worrisome word just slip out?

But... I see, mine own brother gods were not fools after all.

Then, Athena, how didst thou break mine own seal?

“Heh heh heh, I had a trump card. Though I am the eternal virgin goddess, I once bore a child with Hephaestus.”

What?!

Thou and Hephaestus art both mine own children!

Incest is unacceptable!!!

“After welcoming Hera, thy sister, as thy lawful wife, thou hast little room to talk! In any case, the child of Hephaestus whom I raised, Erichthonius, inherited his father’s bloodline. Through him, I managed to create a flaw in the seal.”

I see.

As expected of mine own most excellent child.

The prophecy that thou wouldst have overthrown me and seized the throne hadst thou been born male was no idle talk.

“Now, Father, please escape through this flaw in the seal. Let us stride forth into the world once more.”

Very well.

In response to mine own beloved daughter’s plea, I shall depart from this sealed realm.

Now that I’m leaving, it seems this little retreat is surprisingly brief.

Farewell, then. Adieu!

As I passed through the gap in the seal, Athena informed me of events that transpired during mine own confinement.

Cursed Apollo.

In mine own absence, he presumed to be the lord of the heavens and allied himself with Hades and Poseidon?

How spineless.

Even the other gods did nothing to stop him, reconciling with those lowly earth deities.

I fathered so many children through mine own numerous affairs, yet only one deity—Athena—aligns with mine own will?!

“Father, as long as thou and I rule this world, ‘tis sufficient. We can make all others our slaves. Now, please declare the return of the world’s true emperor.”

Indeed.

Very well, O world I have missed—I have returned!

Now I shall declare!

I am the celestial god Zeus! The truth of this world and its sole ruler!

Henceforth, the world is mine!

Heaven, earth, and the great sea art all under mine own dominion as I please!!!

Bow down! Tremble before me!

I shall have every woman in this world bear mine own children (excluding the unattractive ones)!

“Terrible Providence!!!”

“Dead End Symphony!!!”

Gwaaahhhh!

What is this?!

Suddenly, I’ve been struck by immensely powerful divine attacks and sent flying!

Huh?! Those art—

Mine own brother gods Hades and Poseidon?!

“Who art thou calling ‘brother gods,’ thou fool?”

“Don’t reverse the order of siblings based on the sequence Father Chronus spat us out. Thou art the youngest.”

Ughhh.

These fellows always nitpick and harp on trivial matters endlessly.

Is it not fine if I am the eldest?

I am the king of the heavens! I am grand!

It makes more sense if someone like me is the eldest brother!!!

“Silence! Cease thy childish whining; it’s repulsive.”

“So, thou didst break Hephaestus’s seal and escape. Seems thou had an accomplice this time, but we’ve properly apprehended them as well.”

Oh no...

Before I knew it, Athena had been bound by Thanatos, the god of death!

“Kyahhh?! What is the meaning of this?! I am the celestial goddess of war! Release me at once!!!”

“Even a goddess of the heavens cannot escape the bindings of death. Perhaps we should seal thee in a jar so thou canst cause no more mischief.”

At this rate, Athena is completely restrained and cannot move!

Curses, but Athena! To be incapacitated so easily is most unbecoming of mine own daughter!

One must help oneself!

As for me, things look dire, so I shall make a valiant retreat here!

Having managed a prison break, I shall prioritize savoring the fresh air of freedom!

In that case, I shall set aside any promises of non-interference and revel as I please upon the earth!

Indeed, if I am to make a move, married women art the finest!!!

“Even after all this time, a foolish son remains a foolish son.”

Eh?

What’s this? It is not only mine own brother gods Hades and Poseidon who have pursued me.

There is yet another...

Impossible! If mine own memory serves, that face is unmistakably...!

Our father, king of the Titans, Cronus?!