#1016 Princess Screw-Ups

Once again, the Farm School students line up with Princess Marine in the lead.

It seems this is considered an important lesson.

The world’s most anticipated class is about to begin, and that is...

Princess Screw-Ups: How Not to Be Like One.

...or something like that.

“Ding-dong, dang-dongggg.”

The makeshift bell chimes as Letasreit enters and takes her place at the podium.

“I’ve lived on the farm for a long time, but being invited to teach is a first... It’s kind of touching!”

“Teacher Letasreit, you’re so cool, honnn!”

Marine cheers from the desk right in front of the podium.

The other students, sitting at their desks, look confused, as if wondering, “What’s happening?”

I stand at the back, like a parent at a school play.

“Erm, hello, everyone. I’m Letasreit, the former princess here to give you a special lesson. Today... I’ll be sharing tales of my youthful blunders!!!”

“So, you admit you’re not young anymore?”

“Quiet! It’s just a figure of speech!!!”

Ah, the classic complaint logic.

But let’s move on with the story.

“As you all know, I was once a princess of the Human Kingdom. Not the current Human Republic ruled by Ritheseus, but the old kingdom, where royalty and the church did as they pleased. I was the classic villainess princess!!!”

The classroom falls silent, unsure how to respond.

“Today’s lesson is about my past, so you all can learn what not to do, especially you, Princess Marine!!!”

“I’ll take notes as the Demon Princess, honnn!”

“That’s the spirit! Listen to my stories, and you’ll become a wonderful princess too!!!”

If you vow never to turn out like her, that is...

Is this really okay?

Marine seems eager to learn from the farm, but there must be more important lessons for her.

Unfazed by the surrounding concern, Letasreit begins her class in earnest!

“Let’s start with my background. I, Letasreit, was born as the daughter of King Genesis XVIII of the Old Human Kingdom. I was an only child, doted upon by my father. Thanks to that, I grew into quite the spoiled brat.”

I remember the bratty Letasreit when she first arrived here.

She was the epitome of a spoiled princess.

“Here’s a story that shows how spoiled I was... One day, a group of citizens came to the castle to petition for the release of stored food because they were starving.”

Typical of a collapsing kingdom.

Hunger among the people is the start of a revolution countdown.

“Back then, we were at war with the demons, so extra food was immediately sent to the front lines, and whatever was left was hoarded by the royals or the church. So, very little actually made it to the commoners!”

“That’s horrible! The church is the worst!!!”

That was Saintess Maradona.

I guess she’s also attending the class.

“For the citizens, it was life or death. Only with such desperation would they storm the castle. As I, Princess Letasreit, happened upon this scene, completely ignorant of their struggles, I said something to those desperate, pleading people.”

And what did she say?

This is turning into a variety show format.

Are we going to get the answer after the commercial break?

If it were the current Letasreit, she might say, “If you have no bread, eat beans,” but back then, she was a prime example of a nasty, spoiled princess.

So, what did she actually say?

“All right, here’s the answer... ‘If there’s no bread, eat beans!’“

“Hey!!!”

Don’t go rewriting history.

You didn’t say that! At least not when you were a princess. You wouldn’t say, ‘If there’s no bread, eat beans!’

You only got hooked on beans after coming to the farm!

“Well, it’s my catchphrase now: ‘If there’s no bread, eat beans!’“

“That’s something you say now!”

By the way, these days, Letasreit really says, ‘If there’s no bread, eat beans.’

When bad harvest news hits, she rushes to the scene, throws a bunch of beans around, and leaves.

And, of course, her parting words are, ‘If there’s no bread, eat beans.’

Thanks to that, no one in this world has starved in recent years.

What a wonderful savior she is.

But today’s lesson is about the foolish Letasreit of the past, not the great one she is now.

“Back when I was that foolish, divine punishment came upon me. The Human-Demon War ended, and the Human Kingdom was defeated by the Demon Kingdom. I fell from princess to prisoner! Normally, I’d have been executed, but I narrowly escaped death and ended up here on the farm. And why, you ask?”

Another quiz, huh?

“Hmm, to preserve royal blood for a rainy day...”

“The Demon King was simply merciful.”

That answer slipped right out.

“Officially dead, I started from scratch here on the farm. Spoiled rotten in the castle, doing farm work... Honestly, it was tough. But then, I had the best encounter ever! Yes, that’s right...!”

It’s beans, right?

We know that already.

“Meeting my lifelong friend, Horkosfon!!!”

Huh?

Didn’t see that coming.

“My soulmate who loves beans, Holly! We forged ahead together, and it’s because of that friendship! And what does this mean?! Find out after the commercial break!!!”

No, just tell us already.

“In short, the most important thing in the face of hardship is trustworthy companions! I want you all to remember that and train hard every day! That’s all!!”

That was a surprisingly sensible conclusion.

“I s. For a princess, having comrades to share joys and sorrows with is important, hon.”

Marine seems genuinely impressed.

But it’s not just princesses who need good friends.

“Hm-hm-hm... for such a grand entrance, that was a boring lesson...!”

“What did you say?! Who are you?!”

Just when it was wrapping up nicely, a new character appears?

I turned to look, and there was a familiar face.

“Oh. Platy.”

“Not calling me for the Screw-Up Princess theme? How uninformed!”

Come to think of it, my wife Platy is the younger sister of the current Mermaid King Arowana.

So yes, she was a princess too.

“I’ve got a treasure trove of princess blunders! I blew up and demolished so many places!!!”

That’s nothing to brag about!

Oh, dear...!

Now a mother of two and pregnant with the third, she seems to have mellowed out.

Yet, she’s drawn to mischief like a magnet.

It’s like those old ‘Wow, haha, I used to be bad’ bragging sessions.

“So, back when I was a student at the prestigious Mermaid Witch Academia... As a merprincess, everyone expected me to graduate with top marks.”

Being a princess means you need a good education, and the school needs a VIP alum for prestige.

“So, what did I do at Mermaid Witch Academia?”

“You got expelled on the first day, right? Beat up all your classmates who picked a fight?”

“Correct!!!”

Letasreit nailed the scary answer.

“You’ve told that story a million times. Everybody on the farm is sick of hearing it.”

“You cheeky little...! Back in the day, I’d silence you with a punch to the gut. Now, I’d break my fist if I tried...!”

Please don’t punch anyone, ever.

Is it really okay to show these two as examples to the new Princess Marine?

I nervously glance at Marine.

“These are princesses I shouldn’t emulate. Very educational, hon...!”

Thank goodness.

She understands that this is what NOT to do.

Marine’s strength is her ability to distinguish right from wrong, even at her young age.