#959 Legend of the Saintess

Saintess Maradona.

I quickly turn my head to look at the self-proclaimed saintess rolling around over there.

“Gyaaahhh!!! The flames bursting out for my regeneration won’t go outtttttttttttttttt!!!”

That woman is supposed to be Saintess Maradona, right…?!

Compared to the history lesson from Yartellens earlier…

Maybe it’s someone else with the same name?

“So, what happened to this Saintess Maradona?”

Even Sensei turned to focus on the woman flailing around with astonishing speed.

In his eyes, a rare hint of “confusion” flickered.

“You must know what happened to this historical figure, right? Did she meet a peaceful end?”

Yes, indeed.

A historical figure means someone from the past.

Their whole life, from birth to death, is documented and “recorded.”

People know that so-and-so person was burned at Honnoji, that their life was a fleeting dream, and even that they once choked on a fried fish.

And what was the life of Saintess Maradona, who ended the bad practices of the saintess system?

“Saintess Maradona was pure and just. She despised irrationality more than anything. She quickly saw the absurdity in the saintess system of her time and worked tirelessly for its reform.”

Yartellens’ explanation goes like this:

***

Since Maradona was chosen as a saintess herself, it was said she was quite the beauty.

If she wished, she could have become the pope’s first concubine… or even his legitimate wife with her looks.

However, Saintess Maradona covered that beautiful face with a mask and avoided the public eye.

She lived a simple life… wearing only the bare minimum of clothing, owning no decorations, and eating bread and soup with a cup of wine for her daily meals.

This austere lifestyle was a sharp rebuke to the lavishly living church officials.

At the time, the Human-Demon War was raging, and the lavish lifestyle of the church, despite the pressure on war funds, was causing discontent among both commoners and royalty.

In such times, Saintess Maradona’s behavior steadily damaged the church’s reputation.

The church, feeling the pressure, decided to take action.

They commanded Saintess Maradona, ‘the true saintess,’ to destroy the ultimate evil plaguing the land… the Lifeless King.

Using her reputation as ‘the true saintess’ against her, they pushed her with statements like, “If you’re really a true saintess, you should easily defeat the undead.”

If she refused or failed to defeat the Lifeless King, they could tarnish her reputation by saying, “So this is the extent of a true saintess?”

Some historians noted that secret orders suggested that if she failed, she should marry the pope instead.

But Saintess Maradona brushed off the threats and boldly marched off to defeat a Lifeless King.

Alas, she never returned after that.

No matter how saintly she was, she couldn’t possibly win against a terrifying immortal king head-on.

Months later, the capital received news of Saintess Maradona’s defeat and death.

That might have been exactly what the church wanted.

A saintess living a modest life, criticizing the luxurious church. If she disappeared, their position would be secure, no matter how it happened.

But history is recorded coldly.

Their expectations were betrayed in the worst possible way.

The common people were the first to erupt.

Saintess Maradona, who honored simplicity and continuously helped the poor, was immensely popular among the commoners.

When rumors spread that she was killed in a conspiracy, the people’s anger exploded, leading to arson and attacks on church branches across the land.

An unfortunate timing compounded for the church.

Just as Maradona’s death was reported, a significant event occurred in the war against the demons.

In a local battle, the human army suffered a massive defeat, causing great losses.

While the royal family shouldered the blame, the concurrent church scandal offered a scapegoat.

The royals, seizing the opportunity, shifted the blame for the defeat onto the church.

They claimed the defeat was due to the church’s wrongdoings, which angered the heavens and cut off their blessings.

This led to the second eruption.

With commoners and royalty attacking from above and below, the church was continuously pummeled.

Even as a massive organization controlling the nation with faith, they couldn’t dodge the relentless criticism.

Finally, they waved the white flag, announcing Saintess Maradona’s canonization.

Canonization means recording especially devout followers as special saints… which, from another perspective, was a public acknowledgment that “she was right.”

Naturally, all the church bigwigs who had butted heads with Maradona were shown the door, and they didn’t get to enjoy the massive perks they were supposed to receive after retirement.

At the same time, the infamous Saintess system that Maradona had battled her entire life was abolished.

They even threw in a pledge to the gods: “We’ll never revive this system again.”

For decades after that, the church took a heavy hit, losing its grip on power and having to bide its time in the shadows.

It’s one of the highlights of history for sure – a single woman dealing a massive blow to the mighty church.

***

“So, that’s the story,” says Yartellens, slurping his tea.

His tale went on longer than expected, turning into a full-blown tea-time chat.

“Among us church people, Saintess Maradona is as popular as the rogue saint Thomack Moore, both seen as symbols of rebellion. They both share the common fate of not having peaceful ends.”

A saintess who was sent on an impossible mission against a monster by unreasonable orders, ending her young life prematurely.

It’s certainly a tragedy, and it’s natural for people to want to punish those responsible for such a sad event.

“Waaaaaah! I can’t believe I...I can’t believe I did that to such a brave girl! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!”

Next to me, Sensei is bawling his eyes out.

How did he feel hearing about the behind-the-scenes of a battle that happened 300 years ago?

“Um...why is Lord Thomack Moore sobbing so much?” Yartellens asks, clearly puzzled.

I mean, who wouldn’t be confused seeing the mighty Lifeless King sobbing?

“Let’s leave him be. He’s regretting his actions.”

“Lord Thomack Moore has nothing to regret!!” Yartellens declares with certainty.

Fanatics are scary.

“But he does. It’s about the lady still lying over there...”

“Oh, speaking of which, who is she? She seems quite restless. If she’s a new student here, we’ll need to give her some strict guidance.”

As an educator, Yartellens is not impressed with her unruly behavior.

But...

“Apparently, she’s Saintess Maradona.”

“Pardon?”

First, Yartellens looked like he couldn’t believe his ears, but then he pulled himself together.

“No, no, that’s a tough joke, Lord Saint.”

He’s not buying it.

“Saintess Maradona is said to possess beauty in heart, body, and life! That uncouth girl rolling around on the ground can’t possibly be her!!!”

Good point.

How long is she going to keep rolling, anyway?

Maybe she’s having too much fun to stop?

Even the flames of resurrection have already died down.

“First of all, Saintess Maradona lived 300 years ago! People don’t live that long, and there are stories about her passing away! ...Oh, what a tragic life she led. To have her life cut short by an evil Lifeless King...!”

The evil Lifeless King is your beloved Thomack Moore, by the way.

“She died and came back to life.”

“Huh?”

“Isn’t resurrection a thing for saints?”

Well, in this case, it’s actually because of my Hand of Supremacy ability.

Yartellens seems half-convinced but has already seen some of the miracles scattered around this farm, so he starts to believe...

...that the nonsense is actually the truth.

His scream of shock echoes across the farm.