#955 The Saintess’ Funeral

This season’s Orkubo’s Castle wrapped up early.

Hip-hip-hooray! It’s me again.

Winter has set in over at the farm, and everyone’s lounging about in a relaxed mood.

After all, winter = downtime for farming.

Time gently flows by as everyone indulges in their little worlds.

Even Sensei, the Lifeless King, is among them, seemingly tidying up his place.

“I’m getting on in years, so I better get my affairs in order.”

Wait, a Lifeless Ling talking about... end-of-life planning?

Hahahahahaha.

Don’t say such depressing stuff, Sensei. Live forever, please?

“It’s this little pal who should be getting their affairs in order.”

Huh? What?

Peeking inside the box, he hands me...

Whoa!

Human bones?!

Are these not perfectly skeletonized remains?!

Why on earth would you have something so morbid, Sensei?!

Who?

Who did you do in?!

Are you turning yourself in?!

“Well, the chap died about three hundred years ago. I was indeed the one who dealt with them.”

Oh, so it’s way past the statute of limitations, then.

Phew, no sins on Sensei... wait, is that really okay?

“Back then, a group trespassed into my dungeon. It wasn’t by accident; they were quite clearly targeting me.”

Targeting Sensei, huh?

So they entered the dungeon explicitly to take down the Lifeless King himself.

That’s pretty reckless.

Ordinarily, you’d think people would sneak around the dungeon trying to avoid the Lifeless King, but no, they actually dove in to take him down.

I’ve been in this otherworld for quite some time now, but this is the first I’ve heard of such a thing.

“Given their bold intentions, they were quite capable. I had to fight back to fend off the trouble. But no matter how many times I chased them off, they kept coming back for more. Eventually, I just couldn’t keep playing along...”

And that’s how this corpse came to be...

“Before I met you, I don’t remember much from five or six hundred years ago. Time had worn my spirit thin. If I were the person everyone cherishes today, I might have found another way.”

Sensei speaks solemnly.

But, like, they were the aggressors, right?

And they were after your life... so it’s self-defense, isn’t it?

And besides, it was three hundred years ago, so please don’t feel too down about it.

“I appreciate the consolation, Lord Saint... Well, I had forgotten about this incident until I found these bones while cleaning my room. It just came back to me.”

I see...

Finding human bones during a cleanup isn’t exactly pleasant...

Couldn’t it at least be something like a kappa mummy?

“Preserving these bones might mean I still had some pity for the dead. Thanks to you and my students, I’ve regained a more humane heart. It seems fitting now to give them a proper send-off.”

That’s a noble thought.

Let’s hold a grand memorial. I’m sure the soul of these bones would appreciate it.

And so, a funeral in the dead of winter began.

What to do with these bones?

Bury them somewhere?

It’s a fundamentally basic method of tribute, allowing the remains to return to the earth and join the great cycle of life and nature.

Or there’s the option of scattering ashes.

Scattering them in the sea could eliminate the need for a grave, saving the hassle of grave upkeep for those left behind.

I hear tree burials are a thing these days.

Burying the body and planting a tree on top as a natural return to earth.

“Well, no need to overthink it. We could just incinerate these bones to ashes and scatter them in the soil.”

Bones, burning further.

With the kind of magic at Sensei’s disposal, anything can be reduced to ash, with no remnants left.

“I really can’t have everyone going out of their way for me. A simple prayer for this soul’s peace is all I ask of you.”

Is that really all?

I’m more than willing to oblige if it’s something as simple as that, but...

I find myself once again gazing into the wooden box.

Upon closer inspection, it contains just a single skeleton.

Considering the stories, one would expect a horde of bones, given they all supposedly attacked Sensei in a group.

“It seems like their leader was the only one really eager for the fight, while their followers looked like they were dragged into it against their will. At least, that’s what I remember...”

Well, it was three hundred years ago, so it’s understandable if Sensei’s memory’s a bit fuzzy.

I should probably give him credit for remembering anything at all.

“With the repeated attacks, it became clear that stopping them was the only way to end it with minimal casualties. And, just as I thought, once I took them down, the attacks stopped completely.”

He muttered to himself about how he thought there might be one or two more revenge attacks...

So, it really must have been this lone wolf’s crusade.

Imagine going head-to-head with a Lifeless King, one of the World’s Two Greatest Calamities, someone everyone else would rather run from as fast as they can.

What on earth was going through that person’s mind when they decided to come after Sensei’s life?

I pondered this while carefully gathering the remains.

Sensei had built a simple furnace to turn the bones to ash.

I was helping transfer them.

Trying to intentionally pick a fight with a Lifeless King is something I can’t even begin to fathom now.

I wanted to ask what possessed them to do something so reckless, but there was no point in questioning bones that couldn’t answer.

But I guess there’s no time for such thoughts.

I need to help Sensei with the funeral...

“Thank you, Lord Saint. Thanks to you, preparations are nearly complete,” Sensei says, as everything is set for the cremation.

Just the act of lighting the fire in the wooden furnace remains.

But first, Sensei offers a prayer.

“O soul that has fulfilled its duty, you have reached your destined peak. Rest now shall be granted to you, and tender wings shall enshroud your slumber...”

With that, his fingers spark a flame that dances its way into the furnace, rising up as a solemn blaze.

“After a brief repose, may you embark on a new journey,” he says as the bones are engulfed in the flames, soon obscured by the fierce, red fire.

I thought they must surely be ashes by now, when...

“Hot hot hot hot hot hooooot!!!”

What?!

Something is emerging from the flames!

“Hot! Hot hot hot! Who dares try to roast me alive?!”

And out of the flames is... a person?!

A perfectly intact person!

And not just any person—a young woman with a bountiful figure!

“How dare you attempt to cremate Saintess Maradona! Blessed by Zeus himself, an attack on me, the purest maiden, will surely invite divine retribution!!!”

Where did this girl come from?

Clearly, she emerged from the blazing furnace, right?!

Is this perhaps a magic trick?

Unless there was some trickery involved, people don’t just pop out of flames.

This would be quite the spectacle if it were magic.

But the only thing in that furnace should have been... the bones meant to be mourned...!

“Hm?! This girl...!”

Sensei finally reacted.

“It took me a moment, but this girl was indeed the leader of those who persistently hunted me. She did claim to be a ‘saintess,’ right?”

I see. So that means the skeleton is this woman in life?

So she sprung from the flames, reborn from what should have been mere bones?!

What is she, a phoenix?!