#954 The Deities’ Frolic After the Party – Second Half

The story thus far:

The naïve otaku, Hephaestus, finds himself close to losing his self-composure, pressed sorely by his former wife, the not-so-otaku-friendly gyaru goddess known as Ishtar, who in another life bore the name Aphrodite.

There is but one course to extricate him from this dire strait.

One must seek the aid of Ereshkigal, the Sumerian goddess of the netherworld and sister to Ishtar.

Though Ishtar, being the goddess of beauty, ensnares the hearts of all men, her charms hold no sway over Ereshkigal, who is of the same sex and lineage.

If anything, this goddess harbors naught but loathing for Ishtar’s daily follies and would drag her back to her homeland after a sound thrashing.

I understand all too well how those of sound mind art oft vexed by problematic kin...

I would contact Ereshkigal forthwith, yet I possess no means to do so.

Had I not feared being misconstrued as seeking romantic advances, I should have exchanged LINE information without hesitation!

Ah, would fate design to bring Ereshkigal this way purely by chance!!!

“Good evening. Apologies for the intrusion.”

Who goes there?!

Hath mine own prayer reached the heavens, summoning Ereshkigal to mine own aid?

Nay, for I am a deity, and this is the celestial realm!

Who art thou, then? A deity of salvation?!

“I am Cronus. I hath arrived after hearing that a god knowledgeable in model kits resides here.”

Cronus?!

The ancient deity who once battled Zeus, Uncle Hades, and Uncle Poseidon?!

I hear he was recently released from his long confinement in Tartarus.

But why comes he hither?!

“Nay, having been freed from mine own bonds, I ventured across various worlds. Therein, I discovered the intriguing craft of model kits. Oh, how marvelously intricate! Human craftsmanship has advanced remarkably!!!”

An elder god, once entwined in divine battles, now ensnared in the rabbit hole of model building...?!

“Enchanted at first sight, I intended to buy all I could, yet was thwarted by—resale restrictions? They allowed me but ten. In mine own quandary, I consulted Hades, who informed me that an expert in such matters resided in the heavens. Art thou the god of model kits?”

Nay.

It is not me.

I am rather versed in the art of reselling, though I am also a god of thieves.

But the true master of infinite model kit knowledge and craftsmanship is the supreme artisan and otaku god, Hephaestus!

“Hmm... Oh, hello there, Aphrodite. Or should I say, Ishtar?”

“Aaaaagh! Wherefore art you here?!”

Hmm?

Doth the flow of events shift?

Art the two of them acquainted? I crave details.

“Well, an old acquaintance, one might say. ‘Twas I who instigated this goddess’ arrival in this world.”

What?

Then art thou the root of all these troubles?

“Quite the accusing glare I am sensing... Well, as a god of agriculture, sowing seeds of calamity or otherwise is part of mine own divine duties.”

Cease thy flippant tone.

Pray tell, how didst thou summon this walking calamity?

“Hmm? Well, I was not the chief deity from the dawn of creation. Mine own father Uranus reigned before me. He and mine own mother Gaia were at odds, and he urged me to usurp him.”

Hast thou engaged in such vile strife since ancient times?

Deities truly art deplorable.

“With the aid of mine own mother Gaia, I plotted his assassination. Thanks to her cooperation, I smoothly dispatched mine own father. Instead of his head, I severed his... manhood.”

Wherefore?

Wherefore, of all things, didst thou sever his manhood?

“But because mine own father’s manhood was unbearable to behold, I cast it into the sea. A marine disposal, if thou wilt.”

What a nefarious deed of illegal dumping.

The sea is the mother of all. Surely Uncle Poseidon will rage at this!

“And lo, from mine own father’s floating manhood arose bubbling froth! Thus did mine own father become the sea’s bubble-manhood!”

Spare us these unwieldy power words.

“From those very bubbles was born yonder Aphrodite.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Nooooooooooooooooo!!!”

Oh? What is this?

Aphrodite, or rather Ishtar, hath screamed all of a sudden?!

“Silence! Do not unveil mine own most loathsome dark past! To think that I, the fairest of all, should have emerged from such an unsightly origin—it’s a nightmarish improbability!”

“Thy very existence is the greatest nightmare of all.”

Ah, ‘tis good to see that even the elder recognizes the malevolence of this goddess...

Thus spoke Cronus, forefather to our wretched sire Zeus, and thus, mine own grandfather.

“Primarily, thou art an alien deity in our realm of Olympus and Titan. Thou required a ‘portal’ or a vessel to enter this world, and it was the phallus that was chosen. There might be other reasons, but surely, thy lascivious nature was the prime attractor.”

“Nay! I was birthed from a scallop sheeeeeeeell!”

“That is but a later fabrication.”

Incredible. The invincible Aphrodite, known here as Ishtar, finds herself cornered.

All hail the venerable Titan deity!

I am growing rather fond of Grandfather Cronus!

Keep at it, Cronus!!!

“The very owner of the tale of drifting upon the seas and arriving at the earth bears the traits of a guest deity. Considering thou art a god originating from near Sumer amongst the distinctly odd deities of Olympus, the process of ‘arriving ashore’ was necessary. Yet, that thy source was the phallus of a sky deity is... quintessentially thee!”

“Skip over that part! Do not dredge up a person’s dark history!”

“Were there a god similar in nature to thee, it would surely be the Japanese deity Hiruko. Born hideous, spurned by his parents, and set adrift in a reed boat. Dost thou not see the parallels?”

Huh?

Art we venturing into academic territory?

“In this realm, Aphrodite’s consort Hephaestus too was scorned by the chief deities for his unsightly form. Hiruko, a deity endowed with the traits of being both hideous and adrift, shares a curious affinity with this married couple.”

The strange deity Hiruko, manifesting in Yamato and his traits split between the couple gods Aphrodite and Hephaestus in far-off Olympus.

Is this merely a coincidence?

Thus viewed, the union of Hephaestus and Aphrodite seems not mere happenstance but imbued with meaning.

Such art the enigmas of mythology.

“...W-Wrong.”

Huh?

Ishtar herself trembles mightily.

“Hiruko is famed for his ugliness, is he not? How can I, a goddess of beauty, be likened to such a being? No! No! Noooooooooooooooo!”

It seems a tender spot in her heart hath been pricked.

What’s this about ugliness?

‘Tis disrespectful to Hiruko, no?

“I detest this creature! He dredges up mine own dark history and compares me to weird beings! I refuse to be lumped together with such! I shall depart this place!!!”

Thus speaks Ishtar, and she departs, perhaps to a death flag.

Nay, ‘tis indeed a death flag.

Once home, she shall likely face punishment from Ereshkigal, being an escapee and all.

But more importantly...!

“I hath angered her... It seems I merely speak and thus displease. Perhaps the decline of the Titan race stemmed from this...!”

“Grandfather Cronus... thou art magnificent!!!”

I cry out, clinging to him.

To think that this formidable and fearsome deity, Ishtar, could be single-handedly repelled!

Save for Ereshkigal, who else could achieve such a feat?

“Marvelous, Grandfather Cronus! Truly thou art a leader of the Titans, a generation even above the Olympian deities!”

“Grandfather, I admire thee!!!”

Hephaestus joins me in clinging to Grandfather Cronus.

“Hmm? Is it so...? Though mine own sons despise me so, to be liked by mine own grandsons is a joy indeed! It was worth being freed from Tartarus...!”

Should Ishtar attack again, we shall have Grandfather Cronus to repel her.

Having another card up our sleeve against the goddess of love besides Ereshkigal is heartening!

Viva, Cronus!

The peace of Olympus is preserved once more!!!