#945 Attack on Castle

“Ridiculous twists are what makes a good game great, right?”

So says I.

Here we are again at Orkubo’s Castle.

We’re starting off this season with quite the twist compared to previous ones.

A sudden lottery for the challengers.

The trend of increasing participants has been noted before, and we’ve handled it with multiple sessions or just plain scaling up until now.

But why the sudden change this year to decide by lot?

The answer lies in Orkubo’s new proposal.

He unveiled the new Orkubo’s Castle at the planning meeting.

A transforming giant robot castle shifting from a fortress to a humanoid form!

A gimmick that would delight any boy.

The castle itself is gigantic, so the transformed robot naturally stands tall and large.

It’s about twenty meters or so.

It’s almost straight out of a Pwer Rangers or Gndam world.

Just hearing about it sent my heart racing!

This feeling is definitely love!

Anyway, I immediately gave the go signal, and Orkubo’s team threw themselves into the work, eventually bringing it to completion.

And surprise, surprise, it walks, punches, and even kicks.

This is far from a standing model now.

It’s a proper giant robot.

It’s not merely a statue modeled after a giant robot; it’s an actual, fully operational mecha.

When did Orkubo’s team manage to build something like this?

Our farm’s architectural technology sure is something else.

Thus, the newly completed castle robot, A.K.A. Orkubo’s Battler, now literally stands as an obstacle for those who missed the lottery but are eager to compete.

“Wait, wait, wait! You’ve got to be kidding me!!!”

So cries one of the challengers.

“How the heck are we supposed to clear this thing?! What even counts as clearing it when you’ve got a moving castle to contend with?!”

“Of course, defeating it would mean clearing it.”

“Which is exactly why I’m saying you’ve got to be kidding meeeeeee!”

Complaints are thunderous from those hoping to participate.

“How are we supposed to beat this giant golemmmm?! We’re neither Demon King’s Army soldiers nor adventurers! We don’t specialize in slaying monsterssss!”

“That’s right! Athletic challenges and battle are two different things!”

“And that thing is so huge, even the Demon King’s Heavenly Four would struggle! Set the rules properly! Don’t throw in impossible settingsssssss!!!”

The booing from the participants is like a stormy sea.

But Orkubo isn’t one to be daunted.

He’s perhaps the most spirited person in the world right now.

“An impossible setting, you say?”

“HUH?!?!?!”

That chorus of “HUH?!” is perfectly in unison.

“Don’t get me wrong, but setting a challenge that’s deemed impossible doesn’t fault us. Many of you have participated in past Orkubo’s Castle seasons and succeeded. Think of this as a form of payback.”

“Th-That’s...!”

“You thought we didn’t notice? Well, we should be grateful for your participation, but some of you have been reselling the clearance prizes for a hefty profit, and we’ve deemed these actions unethical.”

Indeed.

Though I mentioned a lottery earlier, there was a clear reason behind it.

From the first season, Orkubo’s Castle had a system where participants could win various farm-produced goods by clearing all obstacles.

This tradition continued until this year, but it became problematic as participants who joined year after year, clearing all attractions and reselling the prizes for living expenses, were discovered.

Well, the idea that once given, how the recipient uses the prize is their freedom is one perspective.

But isn’t it questionable from the start if the purpose is resale? After much discussion, we concluded that measures were needed.

When it comes to figuring out how to address the issue, there’s an inherent unfairness in simply shutting out the regulars. Yet, if we increase the difficulty to prevent the prize resellers from easily winning, we risk alienating not just them but also the casual, new participants who might find themselves locked out.

Lowering the quality of the prizes would also dampen the whole event.

After much thought, we implemented the giant transforming humanoid castle idea proposed by Orkubo.

Though it seemed like a lottery, we had already noted the numbers of those reselling players and excluded them. Thus, they would inevitably miss out on participation.

Merely leaving it to chance would not solve the root issue; it would seem like an unfair exclusion by the organizers.

Thus, we presented them with the Orkubo’s Battler to block their way.

“If you really call yourselves professionals, let’s see you overcome this challenge and triumphantly return to the main event! Consider this a special obstacle created for a tournament that everyone can enjoy equally!”

“Stop messing around! This has gone way beyond a mere obstacle! Battling a giant golem and winning is downright impossible!”

“If you claim to be pros, then I believe it’s possible for you.”

Of course, we have no intention of setting an utterly impossible challenge.

We made sure there was a solid plan to defeat that mechanical giant, even at an individual level.

“Let me give you a hint then. Take a good look at the back of the transformable humanoid fortress, A.K.A the Orc Battler.”

“You expect us to see that?!” “How can we possibly see that far up and away?”

The protests are endless.

“Anyway, there’s an emergency stop switch at the base of the Orc Battler’s neck. Hit that, and you’ll stop the giant in its tracks, clinching a victory for you all.”

“Stop making us repeat ourselvessssssss!” “We’re talking about the back of the neck of a giant golem! How in the world are we supposed to climb up thereeeeeeeeee?!”

The booing never ceased.

Nothing starts if you give up before you even try, you know?

“Fine, I’ll show you how it’s done myself!”

And who stepped forward but I, myself?

Sure, simply throwing out a challenge without guidance is just cruel.

Think of this as a tutorial. I snuck a few of our farm residents into the mix.

They’re here to demonstrate the correct way to clear the level.

Who took on that role, you ask? None other than I!

The saint himself enters the fray!

“Watch my technique! I start with a chain weight!!!”

I swing a chain with a weight at the end, gaining momentum through centrifugal force...

“And I hurl it skyward!!!”

VWOOM! The weight flies towards the heavens!

Due to being a chain, it stretches to its limit after flying a certain distance.

Usually, the momentum would stop, but I threw it with all my might, so it kept going.

And what happens then, you ask? I, holding the other end of the chain, soar upwards.

That’s right, I fly!

“Ooooooh!”

Ha-ha-ha, surprised, are you?

Yes, humans can indeed fly if they master the use of rope-like objects!

The weight’s flying force is strong enough to leap over the shoulders of the Orc Battler, easily getting behind it!

Then with the hoe I have... I smack the humanoid fortress’s neck from behind!

And force it to shut down!

“I did it!”

That’s the basic strategy to defeat an Orc Battler!

Don’t be shy; give it a try!

“Like we could just do thaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!”

Oh dear, oh dear.

Such demanding professionals.

If you have skills beyond those of an amateur, this should be a breeze, right?

“Are you kidding me?! Asking for superhuman moves in a strategy is definitely impossible!”

“Wait up! Since that old man has already beaten the golem, doesn’t that mean we all clear this obstacle?!”

Who are you calling old, you fool?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

“That was just a warm-up. Now, brace yourselves as we unleash thirty Orc Battlers!”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

Who said there was only one Orc Battler?

Those enthusiastic orcs. They thought one giant castle-shaped robot wasn’t imposing enough, so they kept churning them out.

“With this, a truly challenging predicament is set! Fight valiantly and secure your spot in the main event!”

On that day, the professional contestants remembered.

The terror of being dominated by Orkubo’s Castle and the humiliation of being toyed with by a ridiculously hard obstacle.