#940 Shichi-Go-San, Group Version

I’ve been keeping up with my diet for quite some time now.

The Ocean Jogging that Junior blessed me with is doing wonders, making aerobic exercise a delightful activity.

Initially, I had some trouble with local fishermen who mistook me for some mythical shapeshifter, but gradually, they came to understand, and now we exchange greetings whenever we pass by.

Platy often hits me with a dose of reality, asking, “Wouldn’t swimming have done the trick?” But hey, this works just fine for me!

My steps are cushioned on the ocean’s surface, sparing my knees any undue strain.

Logically, I should sink right through, but that’s where the magic of fantasy kicks in.

Moreover, there are no pesky pebbles or shards of glass embedded in the surface to hurt my feet.

 As it turns out, Ocean Jogging is the ideal low-impact way to burn fat!!!

...Well, that might be the case if everyone could do it.

Thus, time marches on like so...

Along with this comes the annual event that’s become a tradition over the past few years.

It’s the birthday of my son Junior and Norito.

Normally, everyone has their own birthday, but alas, this other world lacks a calendar.

So, we celebrate these brothers’ birthdays together at the same time each year.

We’ve even adopted the otherworldly custom of celebrating Shichi-Go-San.

Shichi-Go-San.

I’m not exactly an expert, but it’s a celebration of children’s growth.

This celebration was particularly poignant in times long past when medical care was scarce and child survival rates low.

Traditionally, it’s held at ages three, five, and seven.

Old customs bring up questions like, “When exactly do we celebrate it?” “Didn’t they use a different age counting system back then?” “Are you considered one year old at birth?” “Seriously, when do we do this?” But now, we just go with the flow.

Nowadays, we specifically go to visit the newly built otherworldly Tenmangu Shrine to address any questions about what exactly happens during Shichi-Go-San.

This year looks like it’s going to go smoothly.

Of course, I’ve already prepared birthday gifts for Junior and Norito.

For Junior, a replica of the 21-Figure Mandala he became fascinated with during the recent S-rank promotion exam.

For Norito, a DX summoning device Saintvizer, developed as Kamen Saint merch.

There’s no doubt our boys will be thrilled. Probably.

On the day, we’ll visit the otherworldly Tenmangu Shrine, make our offerings, and maybe pick up a blessing stamp or two on our way home.

...That was my naïve plan, at least.

But this year’s real challenge lay outside my own family…

  *

The otherworldly Tenmangu Shrine is abloom with plum blossoms.

“Talk about lack of seasonality.”

The plum blossom season has long passed, but these particular trees are a bit special, cooperating with our needs on such a significant day.

It’s both terrifying and wonderful.

Various other families also gathered at this otherworldly Tenmangu Shrine.

King Arowana and Queen Puffer with their son, Moby Dick.

Their retainers, Hendra and the Lampeye with their daughter, Half Moon.

Demon King Zedan and the First Demon Queen Astres with their second child, Belzebia.

And, of course, our Junior & Norito.

The Second Demon Queen Glasya’s eldest daughter, Marine, is also here.

It’s an assembly of the new generation associated with our farm.

...Wait a minute.

It hit me that someone might be missing.

That’s right—Demon King Zedan’s eldest, the Demon Prince Goetia.

“Goetia is... well, he had to stay home today. I left him with a guardian.”

What?

So your entire family is here, save for Goetia?

That’s just sad.

Goetia, the very first ‘farm baby,’ surely deserves an invite to today’s event as well.

Ah, maybe you thought only those who are seven, five, or three years old could join Shichi-Go-San?

Don’t worry. We’ve loosened up those standards quite a bit, so feel free to call him over!

“No… there’s another reason we didn’t bring Goetia...”

“?”

Hmm? The Demon King seems unusually hesitant.

“Would it be all right if I asked for your advice later?”

Of course?

I’d be glad to help you out...?

But well, let’s focus on celebrating the kids’ growth for now.

We have someone special to help with that.

“...Hm, it is quite the crowd this year.”

The deity of the shrine, Sugawara no Michizane, seems the most surprised by the large turnout.

He’s also known as the god of learning.

“Hearing that it’s a celebration of children’s growth, the number of participants has increased…!”

“Valorous. It is wonderful to see the shrine lively with children.”

This god, who apparently has a fondness for children, seems delighted with the increasing number of worshippers.

The celebration of growth Is conducted with solemnity.

“Then let me, Kitano Tenjin, bestow blessings of growth upon these children. Purify and cleanse…!”

When you think about it, isn’t it pretty extraordinary for a god themselves to offer blessings?

Normally, that’s a job for the priests, considered representatives of the gods.

An otherworldly shrine where the gods step in directly to perform rituals because there are no representatives? That’s seriously intense.

“Must be nice...!”

“Huh?!”

And then, out pops a grudge.

Who else but the Sensei, the Lifeless King, could appear in such a bone-chilling manner?!

“I, too, wish to celebrate the kids growing up...! Isn’t it a bit much for a god to hog all the best parts...?!”

“Is this not the divine duty inherited from the peaceful ages past? If you have complaints, perhaps you too should be revered as a deity!”

“Having been the Immortal King for over a millennium, I might as well be nearly a god myself! Surely I’m qualified to conduct these rites?”

“I, too, have assumed the mantle of a god, accumulating eleven centuries of history! Though victorious, the margin is narrower than expected!”

Even Sensei gets worked up when it comes to children.

It’s not like we’re dealing with gods like Hades or Poseidon. Can’t we all just get along and celebrate nicely?

Anyway, the children are joyously celebrated for their growth thus far and blessed for their safe and prosperous growth in the future.

Truly, we’re in a world akin to those ancient times when such divine ceremonies were at their peak, and one can’t be too optimistic about whether kids will turn out okay.

It’s wonderful that none of these children, born into such a worldview, have been missing and have all grown up healthily so far.

This is something for which I am genuinely grateful.

To everyone involved in raising them, to heaven and earth, and to all the blessings that emanate from them.

Of course, I also thank Platy, who co-parented with me, and all the other parents out there.

And to the children themselves for growing up so well.

Even to the gods. Like Sugawara no Michizane.

And the gods Hades and Poseidon?

...

Hmm...

Ah!

“Ah, isn’t this wonderful? Everyone’s grown up safe and sound… But don’t you think there’s more to parenting than just safely raising them?”

“Huh?”

No?

I mean, I’d be happy enough if they just grew up safely.

It’s fine if they’re a bit mischievous. I just hope they grow up strong.

But who’s this, setting such high expectations for their kids?

...It’s my spouse.

Platy!

“No offense, I’m not trying to burden our child. It’s more of an outcome than an expectation, I guess? Our sons, well, turned out pretty great, wouldn’t you say?”

She says, somewhat boastfully.

“Being the children of Dear, the saint, and a merprincess who’s also known as the Crowned Witch, it’s no surprise our children are a cut above the rest...!”

“Oh, shut up!”

That was Puffer, another witch, snapping back.

As the Mermaid Queen, deep in ties with Platy as her brother’s wife, they’re quite close.

This only makes it easier for their banter to quickly heat up.

“How dare you say that in front of me! Our little Moby Dick is a budding Mermaid King with talents oozing out at just three years old!”

“That’s just family bias, isn’t it? Compared to our kid, he’s...!”

Uh-oh...

This could go badly.